4

O ne glimpse of Ollie’s beaten face, and there was outrage across the entire wing. Captain demanded to speak to the governor, wanting both Pichard and Seinfeld to be held accountable for what happened. According to him, they’d failed in their responsibilities, in particular, duty of care, and their heads should be delivered to F-wing on a platter.

Ollie decided not to mention it was his dropping of the clipboard that probably woke the inmate from his slumber.

Green and Jack discussed how they’d double-team the man that hurt Ollie if they ever got the chance, with Green desperate to pull off his fingernails and Jack wanting to snap his hard cock like a twig.

Einstein declared war on B-wing, where Keith was from, not that their paths ever crossed except for in the hospital wing. Jonesy had even volunteered himself for a pummelling so he could end up there and attack an inmate of that wing.

Tit for tat.

Hatred between the wings was the one thing that united them.

Only inmates on F-wing were allowed to harm inmates on F-wing.

That was the unspoken rule.

The man from B-wing had broken it, and everyone wanted to lay a punch on his face, not on behalf of Ollie, but on behalf of the whole wing.

It was all words, but Ollie appreciated every one of them.

Ollie’s red cheeks faded after a few days, but the pinch to his face lasted longer, a perfect purple circle high up on his cheekbone.

He kept catching Teddy staring at it with an unreadable look.

The days following the attack, everyone rallied around Ollie in a protective bubble, all except Teddy, who distanced himself.

He didn’t come over to the pool table to squeeze Ollie’s side, or flash him fond looks across the wing, or even sit with him during mealtimes.

Every time Ollie searched for him during association, Teddy was elsewhere.

It took seven days for Ollie to build up the courage to confront him over his behaviour.

He took a deep breath, watching Teddy from the top bunk while he brushed his teeth, then asked, “Have I done something wrong?”

Teddy froze, toothbrush in his mouth, and shot Ollie a quizzical look in the mirror.

Ollie dropped his shoulders. “You know you’re being different.”

He got a raised eyebrow in reply.

“You don’t sit with me at breakfast, lunch or dinner. You stopped going to classes with me, and you’re never on the wing anymore. Even when they close the gym and lock the door to the yard, you retreat to the cell. You never used to do that.”

Teddy hesitated, then resumed brushing his teeth.

Ollie slipped down from the bed. “What did I do?”

Teddy’s frown said, Nothing.

“Well, I must’ve done something.”

You haven’t.

“You’re pushing me away.”

Teddy rinsed his toothbrush, then slotted it back into the holder.

“You said you’d never hurt me. Never, never, never , you said.”

Teddy bowed his head. The vein in his temple jumped when he clenched his jaw.

“This…hurts,” Ollie whispered. “I don’t know what I did to upset you.”

Teddy shook his head, and Ollie read the expression from his face. You didn’t do anything.

“I must’ve for you to have changed like this.”

Teddy exhaled, then snatched up the dictionary. He stopped at the word Tired .

“Bullshit,” Ollie replied, crossing his arms. “You’re just trying to avoid the subject.”

Bed.

Ollie lifted his chin. “You want to go to bed, then you’ll have to go through me.”

Teddy took hold of Ollie’s waist and lifted him off the floor. He turned with Ollie in his arms and put him down again in front of the sink.

“Teddy…”

Teddy climbed beneath the bed and lay down on his side, facing the wall.

“You can’t ignore me.”

The pillow quickly shoved over Teddy’s head said that was exactly what he was planning to do.

Ollie huffed and brushed his teeth. Teddy still had the pillow over his head when he’d finished.

“Be like that,” Ollie snapped, heaving himself onto the top bunk. He stared a furious hole into the ceiling. It took another hour for the lights to go out and an hour more for Ollie’s forced frown to unconsciously fade from his face. He was too tired to keep it up and gave in to his weighed lids and the tug of sleep.

He woke to a scratching sound, a singular scratch, followed by silence, then a scratch again. Ollie knew it was Teddy but didn’t know what he was doing until an orange glow lit up the cell.

A match.

He’d lit a match.

It had never scared him before, but now…knowing what Teddy did to be sent there…

Ollie clutched his duvet, peering over the side of the bed.

Teddy sat with his knees to his chest and his back to the cell door.

He held a lit match in his left hand, transfixed by the flame dancing before his eyes. It was close enough to his face that the light reflected off the tear trails on his cheeks. His eyes looked more sunken than hours before, with the flame making the bags beneath seem infinitely darker. He was shirtless and barefoot but wore his checked pyjama bottoms.

Ollie swung his legs out of bed and slipped down. He crouched where he landed, then crawled closer to Teddy.

“Hey…” Ollie whispered softly.

It wasn’t the first time he’d woken up to Teddy this way, obsessively striking matches. His unsuccessful attempts littered the floor, shooting spikes of pain up Ollie’s knees until he swept a clear path with his hand.

“Want to talk about it?” Ollie asked.

All the times before, Teddy shook his head, but Ollie knew this time it was different. He knew because of the dictionary on the floor by Teddy’s side.

Teddy held out the match, and Ollie took it, hovering it over the book as Teddy found the right word. He patted his chest, glanced at the closest word still tacked to the wall, pointed to the word Protect , then gave Ollie a definite look.

I can’t protect you.

Teddy placed the dictionary by his side, expression scrunching with pain as he closed his eyes.

“It’s not your job to protect me.”

A shrill sound escaped Teddy; he nodded frantically.

“It isn’t. What happened to me wasn’t your fault.”

Teddy dropped his head low like a cowering dog. It disturbed Ollie more than the obsessive match striking.

“It wasn’t,” Ollie insisted. He hissed as the fire got too close to his fingers, then blew the match out. He patted the floor until he found the box, then lit another.

“I’m okay,” he promised. “And you do protect me. Every single day, I feel safe with you. I’m not scared when I go to sleep or when I wake up.”

Teddy shook his head, refusing to give Ollie eye contact.

“I think people take it for granted…waking up content, waking up without fear, waking up and not wishing you hadn’t. Maybe that’s how it’s always supposed to be, but I never had it until I came here…until I met you.”

Ollie rested his hand on Teddy’s knee, leaning in close. Teddy’s eyelashes were wet with tears; they sparkled, drawing Ollie in. Teddy pressed his mouth together in a firm line, only just visible beneath his thick black beard.

“Teddy?” Ollie whispered, wetting his bottom lip. “Stop pushing me away.”

Teddy shuffled, but he didn’t open his eyes.

“I know that’s what’s been happening, and I know you don’t really want to. You care about me. Acting like you don’t won’t suddenly make it so.”

Teddy’s throat thudded as he swallowed.

“And I care about you.” Ollie’s eyes were scratchy. “I care about you so much, Teddy, and I can’t bear you pushing me away anymore. Do…do the opposite.”

Teddy’s brow scrunched.

“Please, Teddy, do the opposite. I want you to do the opposite. I need you to.”

Ollie leaned in as the match went out, then pressed his mouth the rest of the way, finding Teddy’s lips.

What would it feel like to kiss Teddy Saul?

Ollie got his answer.

Teddy’s lips were dry but warm, and his beard tickled Ollie’s chin and top lip. He felt Teddy’s surprised intake of air, the slight parting of Teddy’s lips beneath his own.

It was a quick peck to the mouth, brief, light, but Ollie’s insides fluttered, filling with warmth. That heat travelled up his neck, to his face. It swept over his scalp, and the sensation made him pull back.

What he was doing caught up with him.

It hadn’t been planned, and he didn’t regret it, but still, he shouldn’t have assumed Teddy would be okay with the kiss.

“Sorry. I…”

Teddy slapped his hand on the floor, trying to locate the matches. He growled in frustration.

“Oh,” Ollie blurted, lighting another one. “I have them.”

Teddy vehemently shook his head. His eyes were comically wide.

Ollie blinked. “Are you saying no to…what I did?”

Teddy kept shaking his head.

“Or no to me apologising for it?”

Teddy stopped, then started nodding with the same enthusiasm.

“I shouldn’t apologise because you…liked it?”

Teddy’s eyes practically glowed. Yes, yes, yes.

Ollie lowered his gaze, blushing. Teddy took the match from him, then lifted Ollie’s chin with his other hand, getting a good look at him. Teddy looked at him like he was precious, fragile, sacred even.

“I’m not,” Ollie whispered. “I’m nothing special.”

Teddy’s expression disagreed.

You are, you are, you are.

“I’m not, Teddy. I don’t know—” Ollie composed himself with a breath. “I don’t know why you care about me. I don’t… I don’t deserve it.”

Teddy nodded.

Ollie didn’t think he’d ever believe that, but he didn’t want to argue, not when Teddy was back to looking at him like that again.

“Does this mean you’ll stop pushing me away?”

Teddy’s focus shifted to the flame. He bit his lip, slowly nodding.

“Promise—”

The match was held in front of Ollie’s lips, cutting him off.

Ollie frowned, then obediently blew it out.

His eyes slid shut when Teddy took hold of his face, cupping both cheeks. Ollie’s heart pounded behind his ribs. He knew what was coming and tried to stay calm, but his breaths came faster, and his lips twitched, ready to seek out Teddy’s.

He gasped when Teddy kissed him, pulling away slightly from the shock of it even though he knew it was about to happen. Teddy didn’t pursue; he waited, their mouths millimetres apart, until Ollie leaned back in and closed the gap.

Teddy’s groan rumbled against Ollie’s lips. He came in for the kiss with parted lips, the tease of a tongue. Ollie’s lips shook as he opened up for him, and when Teddy licked into his mouth, he stiffened at the new sensation. He still had a hand on Teddy’s knee, and he dug his nails in as he tried to mimic what Teddy was doing.

There was spit smeared on his chin. The edges of his mouth, the tip of his nose… they were all wet, and Ollie flushed with embarrassment, not knowing whether he was to blame or whether Teddy liked it that way.

Wet.

Teddy slipped one hand to the back of Ollie’s neck, stroking him, easing his worries. From the needy way Teddy kept pushing his tongue into Ollie’s mouth, a little saliva here and there didn’t bother him in the slightest.

Teddy shifted, moving from a sit to a kneel, mirroring Ollie. He pulled away and brushed his thumb back and forth over Ollie’s slicked lips, rumbling with what Ollie hoped was desire.

They were both breathing hard in the quiet of the cell. The darkness felt physical, wrapping around them, drawing them closer.

“I…I haven’t done this before,” Ollie whispered.

Teddy stopped swiping his thumb across Ollie’s mouth. Something changed then, and Ollie knew Teddy was about to pull back, bring whatever was happening to a stop. He grabbed Teddy’s wrist before he could remove his hand from Ollie’s cheek.

“That’s not a no,” Ollie blurted. He bit his lip. “I don’t want to stop.”

Teddy made a pleased sound.

“I just don’t want you to think I’ll be good at something and be left…disappointed.”

Something…

By something, he meant kissing, and handjobs, and blowjobs and sex.

The whole shebang.

He wanted to do that to Teddy, he wanted to be good for Teddy, and he wanted Teddy to think he was good.

He shivered, dazed by the thought.

Teddy pulled him close, settling Ollie’s head against his chest while Ollie started to hyperventilate, mind whirling with anticipation, excitement, and embarrassment. He was already embarrassed, knowing he wouldn’t be any good at first. Teddy’s body jolted and jerked, and it took a moment for Ollie to realise what he was doing.

Teddy yanked his duvet and pillow off his bunk, shoving them behind Ollie’s back on the floor. He eased Ollie down, and Ollie clung to him, pulling Teddy with him.

“Teddy…I’ve…I’ve never…”

Ollie clutched at the air when Teddy pulled himself from his grip. He waited, frowning at the slap of Teddy’s hand on the floor, searching, but it all made sense when Ollie heard the scratch of a match.

The match didn’t light.

“Here,” Ollie murmured. His voice shook. He took the box from Teddy and lit the match on the first try.

Teddy took it off him and held it up to his face. His lips were swollen, bigger than Ollie had ever seen, and his beard looked even darker around them. There was want in his eyes, a palpable hunger, and his chest heaved as he panted.

He flexed his eyebrows in a cue for Ollie to speak like he did in the beginning, when it was yes or no questions. Ollie didn’t quite know what he was supposed to ask.

“I don’t want to disappoint you.”

Teddy shook his head, and his expression, flicking and jumping with shadows, said, Never, never, never .

“I haven’t done this before.” Ollie bit his lip. “I’ve not done any of this.”

Teddy’s eyes fluttered shut for a few seconds. They were even more heated when they reopened, like he loved the idea of being all of Ollie’s firsts.

“It scares me…going from nothing to…everything.”

Teddy frowned and shook his head.

“But I am scared. It’s going to hurt. I want to, but you can’t promise me it won’t hurt.”

Teddy’s frown intensified.

“Sex,” Ollie tried to clarify.

Teddy shook his head, flicking his gaze up and down Ollie laid out on the floor.

“We’re not going to have sex?”

Teddy tilted his head to one side, a fond expression on his face.

Ollie smiled. “We are,” he whispered, searching Teddy’s face. “But not tonight?”

Not tonight.

“Oh.” Ollie swallowed. “Well, what are we going to do?”

Teddy sucked in his bottom lip, then let it go with a pop.

“I have no idea what that means,” Ollie murmured.

A rumble of amusement left Teddy as he shook out the match, dropping darkness over them.

He lowered himself on top of Ollie but used his forearms on either side of Ollie’s head to hold up most of his weight. His mouth met Ollie’s again, sucking and licking until Ollie opened up again and let him kiss with his tongue. It was hot, and slick, pressing into Ollie’s mouth, filling him up and tasting him.

Teddy didn’t just kiss, he devoured.

He rubbed his hard cock over Ollie’s softer one until it was back at full mast.

The thought of sex had both scared and excited him, and that confusion had taken away his arousal, but now he knew he didn’t have to worry, that sex was for another day, his cock hardened. He could feel the weight of Teddy’s cock, the heat of it, the pressure of it grinding down on him.

It felt good, almost too good.

He tore his mouth away from Teddy’s. “Keep this up, and I’ll be coming in my pyjamas.”

Teddy chuckled, then sat back on his knees to tug up Ollie’s T-shirt. He didn’t try to remove it, just pulled it up to Ollie’s armpits.

“What are you doing?”

Teddy pinched a nipple in reply.

Ollie jumped his back from the floor, gasping at the unnecessary sting.

He was about to tell Teddy he didn’t like it but was grateful he hadn’t when Teddy soothed the sensitive nub with his mouth. He licked broad strokes over it until it was tingling, then gave the other nipple the same harsh and gentle treatment.

He kept it up, pinching and soothing.

Every time it stung, a shot of pleasure went straight to Ollie’s cock.

“I might come from this,” he admitted softly.

Teddy kissed from Ollie’s collarbone down to the top of his pyjama bottoms, making his intentions obvious.

“Oh…you’re going to…” Ollie swallowed. “You want to do that to me?”

Teddy made a wounded sound that suggested he very much wanted to pleasure Ollie that way.

Ollie worried it might not live up to expectations. It might not feel as good, or he might explode in Teddy’s face at the touch of a single breath against his cock.

Teddy pulled Ollie’s pyjamas down, exposing his cock to the cold air of the cell. At first, Ollie thought that chill was a blessing, but all it did was make Teddy’s mouth feel even more intense when he slid it down on his cock.

“Oh,” Ollie managed. He spluttered. “That feels…”

Incredible.

Teddy was sucking his cock, and it felt incredible.

Ollie tentatively gripped Teddy’s shoulder, not wanting to interrupt or change what Teddy was doing to him, but needing to touch. His eyes fluttered, and his mouth fell slack.

“Oh,” he breathed, stiffening his thighs, “I get it now, I really get it.”

He was babbling, drunk with it. Everyone outside of the cell thought he was quiet, shy, but he couldn’t be like that in the cell with Teddy. He had to fill the silences; he had to explain. Teddy told him he liked that he did. It helped him understand more; it strengthened their relationship.

“That feels so good. It’s the heat, and it’s the wetness, and it’s that pressure, that tugging… It’s nothing like my hand.”

Teddy pulled off and sucked Ollie back into his mouth.

Ollie’s groan was long and satisfied. “It’s so much better than my hand.”

He could count how many times he’d jerked off inside Hollybrook on one hand, and all of those times Teddy had been in the segregation unit.

He always thought it rude to jerk off while Teddy was there too, and he didn’t know if Teddy participated in self-pleasure when Ollie was asleep.

That wasn’t any of his business.

Teddy moaned around him, and Ollie’s balls tightened, tingling with the need to come.

“Fuck,” Ollie groaned, with no hair on Teddy’s head to tug, he pulled at the side of his beard, a warning to ease off or he’d come too soon.

Teddy seemed to understand and relaxed his mouth off Ollie’s cock. He held it in his hand, not pumping but still as he licked and licked, swirling and slapping his tongue.

“Oh my God, Teddy,” Ollie whimpered. He curled his hands into the duvet beneath him. Teddy didn’t leave his cock head alone, tormenting it with every twitch and poke of his tongue.

“You’re going to make me come.”

Which Ollie found out were the magic words to make Teddy stop. He didn’t have time to miss Teddy’s tongue, not when he started pumping Ollie’s cock with his fist, twisting when he got to the head, and rubbing a firm thumb against his glands.

“Holy shit,” Ollie gasped, lifting his head just to thump it back down on the floor.

He hoped it might add some clarity, give him some control of his own body back, but Teddy had taken over completely and all he could think about was how good it felt.

How he wanted Teddy to do everything to him.

“I’m going to—”

Teddy stopped and let Ollie gather himself again.

It was impossible to tell if Teddy was smiling in the pitch-black cell, but Ollie could sense it. He could sense cocky, pleased waves radiating from Teddy at how easily he could play with his new toy.

Toy.

Ollie didn’t know why he thought of himself like that in the moment, an object, a thing to be used for fun, and he didn’t know why that made his blood fizzle and his cock leak.

Teddy gave him a stroke, a lick, then a gentle suck, pausing for a few seconds between each.

Then he waited.

Ollie understood.

Teddy had let him sample all different forms of pleasure available to him that night, and he wanted Ollie to choose.

“I love it all,” he admitted.

Teddy’s amused rumble vibrated against Ollie’s wet thigh. He kissed from one thigh, across Ollie’s navel, down the other.

“It all feels incredible.”

Another stroke, a lick, and suck.

Ollie shivered from head to toe before deciding with a shaky voice, “Suck.”

When Teddy did nothing, Ollie frowned into the darkness.

“I want you to suck my cock. Make me come.”

Teddy’s mouth was over him, around him. The sides of it were like silk, soft and wet, and when he began sucking, Ollie arched his back with a silent scream. Teddy took him deep, so deep it felt like all of Ollie’s cock was encased in heaven. He was moaning too, rumbling with pleasure around Ollie’s cock.

“I can’t… I can’t hold it.”

Teddy’s firm hands gripped his hips, lifting Ollie’s lower back, forcing Ollie’s cock even further into his mouth, into his throat. He impaled himself until he could cross his arms behind Ollie’s back and hold him there.

Ollie’s orgasm slammed into him, and he erupted down Teddy’s throat. The sucking stopped, but Teddy kept himself well and truly gagged, keeping Ollie’s cock hostage while it throbbed with each spurt of cum.

When Ollie had finished, Teddy lowered him back down while slipping his mouth off with a wet smack of a sound. Teddy took a deep breath, then another, before Ollie realised he’d been holding his breath the whole time Ollie’s cock had been down his throat.

“That…that was amazing,” Ollie whispered.

Teddy chuckled above him.

“Will you teach me how to do that?”

Teddy’s hands found Ollie’s. He lifted them and pressed them on either side of his face, so Ollie felt when he nodded.

“Right now?”

Teddy shook his head.

“But you haven’t come.”

Teddy nodded, and Ollie frowned, confused by the answer.

He understood when Teddy lay down flush on top of him again, and he felt the damp patch at the crotch of Teddy’s pyjamas.

“You came?”

Teddy rested his forehead to Ollie’s, nodding at the question.

“You came from doing that to me?”

The nodding continued.

“Were you touching yourself at the same time?”

The nod changed to a shake.

“Rubbing up against my legs?”

Ollie couldn’t recall if he had been; he was ashamed to admit it had been a me, me, me kind of moment where he’d only thought about his own earth-shattering pleasure.

Teddy carried on shaking his head.

“What was it then?” Ollie murmured. “What pushed you over the edge?”

Teddy pressed a quick kiss to Ollie’s lips, then leaned in for a deeper, slower caress. He tasted the same, but there was something different too, something extra, something that Teddy was purposely pressing to his tongue.

Ollie realised he was tasting himself.

That was the answer.

It was the taste of you.

A blush surged into Ollie’s cheeks.

“Really?” he whispered. “You…like that?”

Teddy nodded as he continued the kiss.

They didn’t do any more than kiss for over an hour on the cell floor that night.

Teddy ended it despite Ollie’s whine of protest, then helped Ollie back into bed, not that he needed help.

Ollie lay down, mind whirling a million miles a second.

Their relationship had changed that night, and he thought the next morning, if he told Teddy he didn’t want a repeat, Teddy wouldn’t push him for one.

It could be a one-off.

But Ollie didn’t want that.

He didn’t want that at all.