5

C ute.

“I’m not a hamster.”

Sweet.

“I’m not a delicacy.”

Sexy.

“No. Absolutely not.”

Good…

“Good what?”

Good boy.

The first time Teddy said those words, he’d pointed them out in the dictionary.

He no longer had to; Ollie could read the word from Teddy’s heated expression.

Unbeknownst to him, he had a praise kink, which should have been a problem with Teddy physically unable to speak.

But it didn’t matter, it was the looks, the gentle strokes and caresses that spoke to Ollie.

You’re being so good.

Just a little longer.

You’re cute and sweet and sexy.

Almost there…

You’re so perfect.

Now…now you can come.

Six weeks had passed since their first kiss.

There had been twenty-five lockdowns during that time.

Twenty-five days Ollie had been edged from morning until night.

At first, Ollie had been a tad sheepish about his sexual discovery.

Like everything with Teddy, he was blunt, to the point, because he needed to be.

The day after he’d given Ollie the best orgasm of his life, he’d patted the space beside him on his bed, and Ollie had obediently sat waiting for Teddy to show him the dictionary.

Slap.

Ollie blinked in surprise. “You want to slap me?”

Teddy shook his head, then pointed at Ollie.

“Oh, you’re asking if I want to be slapped.”

Yes.

“Maybe lightly, on my…on my…”

Teddy flicked through the dictionary; it took a while, but he found the word Peach .

Ollie laughed. It broke the tension. “Yeah,” he agreed. “Not hard, not enough to hurt.”

Hold. Down.

Ollie swallowed. “Yeah, I kind of like the idea of you holding me down.”

Choke.

Ollie frowned. “Not like”—he put his hands on his throat—“but I want to be able to do what you did to me. I want you all the way down me. I want to have to hold my breath. That felt amazing. I want to be able to make you feel like that too.”

He’d blushed, ducking his head. He hadn’t even seen Teddy’s hard cock yet, and he was imagining it shoved down his throat.

Teddy hummed, licking his lips.

Praise.

“What do you mean?”

It took Teddy a little longer to pick out all the words.

I say when you are good, I encourage and reward.

“Yes,” Ollie whispered. “I’d really like that. I’ve only ever been told I’m good at something in here, and that’s art, drawing and painting. I’d love to be told I’m good at something else too.”

Teddy ruffled his hair. You are good .

Ollie rolled his eyes.

Top.

“Of what?”

Teddy scrunched his brow.

Top. Me.

“You mean I…” He gestured between them.

Teddy nodded.

“No, I like the idea of you topping me, but I don’t want to… Is that… Is that rude to say?”

Teddy snorted softly. No .

“Do you want me to top you?” Ollie asked.

No .

“Then why did you—”

Teddy sighed, flicking through the pages so he could literally spell it out. If you want to, I will let you. I want to have all of your firsts.

His eyes were dark again, tugging Ollie closer.

Ollie licked his lips. “I want you to top me, and I want to be your bottom.”

Teddy’s eyebrows shot up. My bottom?

“Yes.” Ollie’s mouth went dry. “I… Are we exclusive? If we’re not, that’s going to be a deal-breaker for me. I don’t want to share you.”

Teddy searched the dictionary, then jabbed his finger at the page in a frenzy, like he was possessed. His eyes were hard, unblinking, and his nostrils flared.

Exclusive.

He didn’t like the idea of sharing either.

“Good,” Ollie exhaled. “That’s good. I’ve never had a boyfriend before, or a girlfriend, not that we’re like that…unless we are?”

Teddy smirked, choosing his reply. Want to be my boyfriend ?

“I don’t know. Kind of. Yes. But I’ve never had… I’ve already said that.” Ollie’s cheeks burned. “But have you?”

Teddy blinked, then he stared. Whatever tension had been worked out of the situation returned worse than before. Teddy broke eye contact first.

“Have…have you had a boyfriend before?” Ollie asked.

Teddy chewed his bottom lip before nodding.

“Oh right, of course you have.” Ollie scratched the back of his head. Teddy was in his early thirties. He’d had a life before Hollybrook and a life inside Hollybrook before Ollie.

“Just the one?” Ollie asked. “Or several?”

Teddy held up one finger.

“The one,” Ollie said breathlessly. “Not the one , although they say you fall hardest with the first.”

He reached up and pinched his lips together.

Teddy returned his attention back to the dictionary, as if that conversation was now concluded, but Ollie couldn’t let it go. He dropped his hand into his lap.

“And was he good? I mean, was it good, the relationship—can’t have been that good because you’re not together anymore.”

Ollie thought about smacking himself in the face to shut his mouth but knew Teddy would stop him. He waited, making it clear he wanted an answer.

Teddy’s shoulders slumped as he flicked through the pages.

Good then bad.

“How long were you together?”

Teddy lifted two fingers.

“Two days? Two weeks?” Ollie swallowed hard. “Two years?”

Teddy nodded.

“Can I ask why it didn’t work out?” Ollie gestured to the cell. “Unless it’s obvious.”

Teddy bit his lip. His eyes searched empty space like he was deciding what to say. He slumped, then pointed out the word Jealousy.

“Jealousy,” Ollie repeated.

Ollie glanced at Teddy’s lips, pressed in a firm line. The conversation was over.

“I’m sorry.” Ollie ducked his head. “First love and all that. It must’ve sucked.”

Teddy exhaled hard from his nose, then picked up Ollie’s hands and showered his knuckles with kisses. His eyes were big, round, searching, needing Ollie to look at him again.

Ollie did.

Teddy sighed in relief and went back to the dictionary.

Tell your boyfriend what you want.

Ollie’s lip twitched, but his voice wouldn’t come.

Teddy searched the dictionary. Use your words.

What did Ollie want Teddy to do to him? Everything he’d done the night before, preferably every day if he was allowed to be greedy. He had a feeling Teddy would let him be greedy.

“I…I want you to take control, decide what we do and when we do it. I want you to use me like a toy.” He scrunched his eyes shut. “Not in a horrible way, treat me like your favourite toy, get pleasure from playing with me, but don’t ever break me or swap me for a shinier toy.”

I will take care of you . Teddy frowned, then added more. Regardless of sex. I will take care.

“I believe you.”

Teddy beamed a smile, then pointed at the word Breakfast .

“Right now?” Ollie complained. “The least you could do is give me five minutes to calm myself down.”

Teddy laughed, then nodded.

Six weeks later, and during their twenty-sixth lockdown, Ollie was on all fours on the floor of their cell. His knees were cushioned by duvets, and he rested the side of his face on a pillow while arching back and keeping his arse lifted into the air.

Weeks ago, he would’ve been mortified in this position, sweating from embarrassment, but Teddy had taught him how good it could feel to be like this and that pleasure outweighed embarrassment every time.

Teddy loved using his mouth on Ollie’s hole. He loved to nibble, and suck, and spear his tongue into Ollie’s tight heat until it wasn’t tight anymore, until it was loose and wet, and ready for the cock that he still hadn’t had.

A week into Ollie’s sexual discovery, Teddy had gone with him to the shower block. He’d shared a cubicle with Ollie and touched his hole for the first time. He swept water around it, rubbed his fingers over the crease, and opened him up, dipping his fingers in and out. Ollie had clung to Teddy’s shoulders, struck mute by sensations. His cock was hard against Teddy’s muscular stomach, leaking across his skin, and he had pressed his face into Teddy’s beard.

Teddy had abruptly shut off the water and grabbed their towels.

Ollie had cursed him, calling him a teasing bastard inside his head, until they were back in the cell and Teddy showed Ollie what he’d really been doing in the shower.

He’d been washing him, getting him clean, so he could blow his mind, and his cock all over the bed, by eating his arse for the first time.

Teddy loved feasting between Ollie’s cheeks, and Ollie found he loved it too. Never having given it much thought, he couldn’t get enough of Teddy’s mouth on his hole, the scratch of the beard, even Teddy inhaling through his nose down there turned him on.

Their current session had been going on for almost an hour. Teddy moaned with enthusiasm, stroking his cock in time with whatever he was doing to Ollie’s hole. He tugged his cock slowly as he lapped, and licked, and when he jerked, fast and furious, he lost himself to Ollie’s arse, eating it while Ollie shuddered and begged.

A fist struck the door.

“You two alright in there?”

Teddy pulled his face away to grunt.

“And you, Oliver?”

He panted, eyes fluttering as he recovered from the onslaught. His hole twitched at the lack of Teddy. He might’ve only pulled away for a few seconds, but Ollie felt neglected.

Teddy lay down next to him, stroking Ollie’s hair. Then he lightly tapped Ollie’s chin.

“Oliver—”

“I’m fine,” he said to the officer, doing his best to mask his fury at being interrupted. “I was sleeping, that’s all.”

Teddy laughed into Ollie’s ear.

“We should have you out of there in twenty.”

Ollie folded his brow, wishing the words weren’t true. Teddy stroked his sweaty hair, petting him softly.

“I don’t want it to end.”

Teddy smiled, gazing at Ollie. You are so good for me.

“Thank you,” Ollie whispered.

Thank you for saying that, thank you for turning me to putty with your mouth, thank you for thinking I’m precious.

Good boy.

Teddy cupped Ollie’s chin again, lifting his head. He shoved the pillow aside and took its place, kneeling in front of Ollie’s face. Teddy’s cock was bigger than Ollie’s, thicker too, with silky soft foreskin and a shiny red tip.

Ollie opened his mouth for it, looking up at Teddy through his lashes.

That’s it, baby.

Teddy had never pointed the word out to Ollie in the dictionary, but Ollie found the idea of the word hot, and his brain connected dots that weren’t always there. Teddy called him baby, and love, and even once, soulmate. It was romantic nonsense, but when Teddy got him like this, like he was clinging on to reality, those were the words he heard.

He didn’t feel real anymore. He was fuzzy, and soft around the edges, warm to the point he thought he might melt away.

Ollie didn’t suck; he pushed his mouth down Teddy’s shaft until it was so deep he couldn’t breathe. Teddy curled over his back, and there was warmth and comfort all along Ollie’s spine. Fingers found Ollie’s hole, not one or two, but what felt like countless, all stroking, stretching, and pushing inside.

Ollie knew he’d be able to take Teddy’s cock. He’d taken all of his fingers.

They slipped in and out of him, then rubbed and curled.

He wanted Teddy’s cock. He’d told him so, not just in the heat of sex, but outside of it too.

But the reply he got was, No rush.

Ollie would’ve begged him for it if his mouth wasn’t full.

Teddy played with his hole, jabbing and poking like he really was just a toy for his personal use. He stroked Ollie’s prostate, making it flutter and throb. He wouldn’t drag it out too long, not with Ollie holding his breath, but the longer he played, the more light-headed Ollie became, the closer he got to coming.

It wasn’t a need anymore; it was a human right, a law, and if Teddy denied him, he’d be the cruellest man alive.

Teddy used two fingers on Ollie’s prostate to send him hurtling over the edge.

Cum shot from Ollie’s cock onto the duvets beneath.

When Ollie came, he hummed, a pleasured intake of breath in his throat. Teddy’s cock blocked the way, but air still rushed down Ollie’s nose and through the edges of his slack mouth. It couldn’t do anything but build pressure around Teddy’s cock.

Teddy shuddered, and then he was coming too, letting his release go right down Ollie’s throat.

The first time Teddy’s cum had hit the back of his mouth, Ollie had choked.

The same thing happened the second time…and the third.

He’d been so frustrated by his inability to control his gag reflex he’d bought a bottle of water from the canteen just so he could practise squirting it at the back of his throat.

Teddy had caught him red-handed; Ollie had explained what he was doing, and then Teddy had taken control of the bottle. It was the same action he’d been doing, the sudden squeeze to the bottle where it rested on his bottom lip, but the difference was Teddy was there, Teddy was watching, Teddy took care of him.

His expression warned, Here it comes.

Ollie had spluttered.

His kind eyes had said, Have another try.

Ollie had been more prepared for the sensation and only coughed once.

An encouraging nod had spoken the words, You’re getting it, Ollie.

Teddy squeezed the bottle hard. Ollie took it. Hell, he groaned as he did, caught by the heat in Teddy’s gaze.

Ollie read the smile on Teddy’s lips as, Good boy.

Teddy did it again and again until Ollie got it, and his cock was so hard from the looks of praise that it hurt.

He’d been rewarded by Teddy sinking to his knees and sucking him off while Ollie crushed the bottle in his hand. Teddy’s warm mouth over him while all he could think about was how good he’d been sent him crashing over the edge within seconds.

Ollie could now take Teddy’s cock; in fact, it was Teddy who had to pull it out of him when Ollie’s world began to blacken at the edges. He would’ve fallen unconscious on his cock if Teddy would’ve let him. The feel of it, not being able to breathe and knowing Teddy’s big cock was causing the blockage, elongated Ollie’s orgasm. He got high on the lack of oxygen. He got high on Teddy.

Ollie eased small breaths in and out. Teddy’s cock had gone, and he rested the side of his cheek on Teddy’s thigh as he remembered how to breathe.

Teddy narrowed his eyes when Ollie finally had the strength to look up.

He crossed his arms to fully drive home the message that he wasn’t happy with Ollie trying to kill himself on his cock.

“I’m sorry,” Ollie murmured. “It just feels so good.”

Teddy sighed, relaxing the warning look on his face. He ruffled Ollie’s hair, then helped him to sit up. Head rush had Ollie falling back, but Teddy caught him and hauled him close. He pulled the duvet up around him and wrapped him up in his arms.

Ollie dozed, happy, content, head on Teddy’s chest.

He groaned in annoyance when the lock clunked. The officer pushed the door open an inch, then moved on to the next cell.

“They could’ve given us more time, you know, another few hours…”

Teddy snorted by Ollie’s ear. He got to his feet, then helped Ollie up. They dressed. Teddy’s gaze was on him the whole time, soft and awed.

“Stop it,” Ollie said with a pout, covering Teddy’s eyes. “It’s too much when you look at me like that.”

Ollie’s heart felt different when he did, like it skipped beats.

Teddy slipped Ollie’s hand from his eyes to his mouth and kissed his palm.

The look was good boy , and baby , and love and soulmate , except it wasn’t…not really.

It was Ollie’s wishful thinking.

They left the cell for afternoon association.

Despite their relationship changing inside the cell, Teddy kept his distance outside of it. He no longer showed Ollie any affection on the wing and would often separate himself. The tables comfortably fit four inmates.

Ollie sat with Jack, Green and Jonesy, and Teddy sat with Captain, Zeke and Braden.

Teddy no longer attended any classes with Ollie either.

When Ollie asked him about it, he said it was good for them to have space from each other sometimes. His words landed like a blow, and Ollie curled in on himself, only for Teddy to frantically shake his head and pull him into a hug.

He’d taken it the wrong way.

But he didn’t know how else to take it.

Teddy wanted what happened in the cell kept secret. Again, Ollie had pulled away from him, only to be shushed and reassured.

What they did was private, personal; Teddy didn’t want the whole wing knowing about it. In a way, Ollie understood, but then he worried Teddy might be ashamed of him—

No.

Ollie looked away, but Teddy caught his face and turned him back.

Never, never, never.

“But I don’t understand.”

Teddy used the dictionary. To keep you safe.

“You think someone might use me against you somehow?”

Teddy nodded. Just in case.

Ollie wasn’t sure who would be foolish enough to cross Teddy, but he agreed anyway.

They still shared fleeting smiles and secret looks across the wing, though.

“Hey, Ollie…”

He turned to the inmate tapping on his shoulder. Ian had his long black hair tied up like he always did when he was working. He delivered the mail, and there was pure joy in his blue eyes when he held a letter out to Ollie. Delivering the mail, he also knew who didn’t get it, and this letter was a first for Ollie.

He knew Captain got letters from Rory, and Rory had asked for him to pass on his address to Ollie so he could write if he ever felt like it.

Ollie hadn’t.

He wondered whether Rory had finally lost patience.

“Thanks,” Ollie said, taking the letter.

He could feel both Teddy’s and Captain’s eyes on him from the other table.

“Aren’t you going to open it?” Jonesy asked when Ollie stayed staring at the white envelope. He thought he recognised the handwriting, not Rory’s, but…

He shot to his feet; Jonesy caught his chair before it hit the floor.

“Is it a guide to being the perfect Jack-in-the-box?” Jonesy asked.

Ollie frowned. “Huh?”

Green shook his head. “It was his version of a good joke.”

“So it was shit,” Jack added.

Ollie gestured with the letter to his cell. “I’m just going to…”

They all nodded, and Ollie rushed away, pushing into his cell. He closed the door and sat down on Teddy’s bunk.

It was his brother’s writing, but that didn’t mean whatever was inside was good.

He might’ve written to tell Ollie he wanted nothing to do with him.

Ollie closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

There was only one way to know for sure.

He opened the letter, and when he read his brother’s words, he heard his voice in his head.

“Ollie, I’m sorry it has taken me so long to write back. Asher hid your letters from me for months. It was only when a friend of yours, Rory, came here that I learned you’d been writing to me the whole time. Maggie let me have them. She said I could write back. That was over four months ago. I’m sorry. Every time I went to post a letter, I stopped myself. I couldn’t do it. I remember that night…and everything that happened before…and afterwards.”

Ollie scrunched his eyes shut, easing air in and out of his nose.

He reopened them to read more.

“You’re never mad at me in your letters; you just want to know that I’m okay and whether I understand why you did what you did. I do understand. But it’s a lasting image I struggle to get out of my head. No, I don’t hate you. I’ll never hate you. I worry that you hate me, though…”

Ollie shook his head, denying his brother’s words.

“I worry you hate me for what happened afterwards. I was a mess. I didn’t think about what I was saying or how it might affect you. Nine years, Ollie. It should never have been that long, and I can’t help thinking that was my fault. It all happened so fast; I didn’t get the chance to process any of it, but I get it now. You did it for us. You did it to set us free.”

Yes, Ollie thought with a snort, glancing at the bars on the window.

Free.

“I just wish there had been another way. I want to visit you. Maggie has said she’ll take me, but I’m scared that you’re secretly mad at me, or that I’ll only be able to see the you from that night or that I’ll break down with guilt at the sight of you caged up like an animal. I want you to know I’m okay. My new school is much better than my old one. I have friends now, and Maggie’s nice; she treats me like I’m her own son. Don’t worry about me, I’m doing fine. Take care of yourself in there. Love you always. Leo.”

Ollie looked up from the letter and wiped his face. He hadn’t noticed Teddy in the doorway, but he stood on the threshold, asking if it was okay to come inside.

Ollie nodded. “It’s from Leo.”

Teddy’s smile started out bright, but dimmed, then disappeared altogether.

“You can read it if you like,” Ollie whispered, holding out the letter.

Teddy hesitated before taking it and sitting down on the bed beside Ollie. His eyes swept the page, and then he went back again for another read. He tapped his finger beneath Asher then Maggie .

“Our auntie and uncle.” Ollie bit his lip. “My father’s brother.”

Teddy nodded.

He ran his finger beneath the words that night .

Ollie slumped. “You know what he means by that. You know why I’m here.”

Teddy watched him closely.

Ollie took in a deep breath and completely blanked his mind when he said, “I stabbed my father to death.”

There was more to it, but he shut it down, blocked it out.

And afterwards…

Ollie shook his head; he didn’t want to talk about that.

Teddy wrapped a hand around the back of Ollie’s neck and squeezed.

“I’m not as innocent as you think I am.”

He knew what people thought; he’d murdered his abusive father to protect his brother.

And that was partly true.

Partly.

“You don’t know me.”

Teddy’s nostrils flared; there was a warning in his eyes.

Ice sharpened Ollie’s words. “Well, you don’t.”

It wasn’t a spur-of-the-moment decision that night. Ollie had been thinking about it for days, weeks, months, years even. He sat in class and fantasised about killing his father not only on the days he was beaten, but on the days he wasn’t, the good days where his father apologised and promised he’d do better.

He’d thought about it when he left school and got a job too, mind awash with murder during the quiet times in the shop.

The knife…not stopping until he was certain his father was dead.

What kind of person filled their head with thoughts like that?

Not a nice one, that was for sure.

Teddy shook him lightly. His kind gaze said, You are .

“I’m not,” Ollie blurted.

Tears burned his eyes.

You are .

Ollie sank into the hug Teddy offered him, knowing he didn’t deserve it but unable to resist.