Page 71 of Broken Souls

Rip my dresses off their hangers.

Tear them apart in my hands, shredding one after the other until I’m standing in a chaotic mess that mimics what I’m feeling.

“Fuck!” I roar as I continue to destroy it all. Destroy it like I’ve been destroyed by the man I love. Make it look likeme.

I knock holes in my walls.

Throw things at the ceiling fan until it’s hanging limp in all its fractures.

Smash the light in the middle of it.

I even toss the covers and pillows off my bed, wanting no sign of order, no semblance of peace.

My chest heaving, my rage still unsatisfied, I use broken shards of glass to dig great, big gashes into my mattress. Then I fill those holes with splinters.

With hatred and pain.

And love.

So much fucking love, it hurts.

He did this to me.

He fucking did this to me.

And then he left without a word. No apology. No text.

He did this, and he didn’t fuckingcare.

And yet, I still care. I still want him to come through my door and gather me up in his arms and tell me he’s sorry, that he’ll never hurt me again, that he’ll keep me safe even from the monster inside himself.

And I hate that I want that.

That Ineedthat in this moment.

Dropping to my knees on the carpeted floor, I scream out my fucking soul.

Twenty-Six

HER

He comes. Eventually.

When it’s too late.

When my rage has turned cold enough for me to think again.

When I’ve convinced myself I hate him.

That I don’t need him.

That he can rot in fucking Hel.

I don’t even turn towards him as he enters my room. I’m sitting in the middle of the mess I’ve made, my legs curled up under me, my hands on my lap, my eyes on them.Can I sacrifice him to get my magic back?

“Micha!” The concern in his voice might’ve patched up a small broken part of me if he hadn’t closed the door first. If he had reacted purely on emotions forme, but no, he always has to play the fucking game. Can’t let his brothers know he wants to fix things. Can’t let them hear me yelling at him. Can’t be seen to beweak, as someone who would fight for his girl despite the evidence against her.

Tears burn my eyes.