Page 60 of Broken Halos

I was very comfortable in Ollie’s kitchen in ways I wasn’t in my own. The kitchen at Ryan’s Place was Esther’s domain, and I often felt like a naughty kid when I dirtied a dish or prepared a late night snack. She’d never said anything to the residents or me to discourage us in the kitchen, but she made it clear we had to clean up after ourselves. Esther and Millie had similar personalities and believed in tough love, where Mamma tended to handle things with a gentler approach. I think it had to do a lot with the violence I witnessed during my first five years. She worked hard to show me a person didn’t need to raise their voice, and certainly not their hand, to mold and teach a child. Still, I think their bolder, more self-assured personalities were a wonderful influence on my mom. She seemed more confident and assertive, and I liked the changes. For Esther and Millie, my mom softened some of their sharper edges with her graceful demeanor. The three ladies’ personalities combined to create a mighty team worthy of superhero status. We never knew what they would think up, say, or do at any given moment.

I looked forward to attending services each week with them and Henry who was blossoming before our very eyes. I felt like a proud parent watching my child gain confidence and strength. I still saw shadows under his eyes on occasion and caught a lost expression now and then, but I also saw him dust off his pants and keep moving. It took a lot of courage sometimes. He’d found a part-time job at a bookstore and tried out for a community theater role and was chosen to star as one of the four main characters. He walked around on a cloud for days afterward before nerves set in once rehearsals started. The three women in his life offered encouragement through pep talks and love. He soaked it in, and I knew he fully understood what Ollie’s sermon about the chosen family truly meant.

“You’re extra reflective this morning,” Ollie said when he sat across from me at his table. “Is everything okay?”

“Better than okay, Ollie. I’m still amazed at how much my life has changed since I met you. I’m just feeling grateful.”

“I’m grateful for you too.”

For church, I put on the dark purple dress shirt Ollie bought me because he said it made my eyes look greener. I wanted him to see me in the front pew and know I dressed for him. Millie, Esther, and Mamma all showed up wearing their Sunday finest, which now included hats and gloves for Mamma and Esther. Henry wore a sweater and trousers and a rueful smile on his face.

“The ladies are in rare form this morning,” he cautioned. “Esther and Maria discovered a new show on Netflix they couldn’t stop talking about, and we met Millie in the parking lot who was fired up over the sports talk radio show she was listening to before we arrived.”

“Uh-oh,” I said softly. “Lunch at Burt’s should be interesting.”

“You have no idea.”

Ollie’s sermon was about forgiveness, and how much better it is for us to forgive those who trespass against us to have a fulfilling life free of burden, but admitted it was something he had struggled with his entire adult life.

“If you’re open to forgiving, the opportunity and the ability will come to you when it’s time,” he told his congregation. “Forgiveness isn’t something you can force, and offering meaningless platitudes does nothing to heal the hurt inside you. It’s never wrong to tell someone forgiveness is something you want to achieve but haven’t yet. It’s okay to insist on time to put distance between the person and events that have caused grief in your life. It’s okay to feel conflicted about forgiving people because you’re human, and you don’t have to decide your entire life this very second. Today, I simply ask you to open your mind up to the possibility of forgiveness and a life unencumbered by sadness, grief, and grudges. Imagine yourself living each day with the knowledge you’ve been hurt and you’ve moved past it by forgiving the ones who’ve trespassed against you.

“In my mind, holding onto grudges gives those people power over you; power they don’t deserve. Forgiveness is freeing and powerful and uplifting. It’s knowing someone wronged you, but you’re no longer willing to let it rule you. That, my friends, is the best part of forgiveness. It’s not about making the other person feel better about what they did, in fact, most of us don’t have the opportunity to look them in the eyes and say they’re forgiven. In many cases, the person you need to forgive hasn’t even apologized to you, but it doesn’t mean you can’t forgive and move on. Don’t do it for them; do it for yourself.” As with all of his sermons, I could tell the words he spoke were personal to him. Had he reached the point of forgiveness with Kaleb and his biological family?

After his sermon, Ollie sat in his chair off to the side of the altar while Millie and the Thompson family performed three songs with lyrics matching the tone of Ollie’s sermon better than Bea Trix could match her pumps to her dress. They put so much energy into the service each week, and their efforts were greatly appreciated and enjoyed.

Once the congregation left, we headed over to Burt’s for our usual lunch. Henry hadn’t exaggerated about Millie. She was all worked up.

“Thank you for reminding me I need to work on my forgiveness skills, Son. These talking heads on the radio have one purpose each day, and it’s to rile up Millie Givens with their exaggerations, half-truths, and outright lies. Their behavior is just disgraceful. When in the world did sports radio merge with shock radio? It’s like these guys get up each morning and ask how they can be the Howard Stern of sports radio.”

“Mama, maybe you shouldn’t listen to the programs if they upset you so much.”

Millie threw her head back and laughed. “On the contrary, getting mad at these silly men makes me feel alive.”

“Then maybe you should call the show,” I suggested, earning an elbow jab from Ollie. “What? She knows more about the Cincinnati sports teams than those two idiots combined. Better yet, they should have you on the show!”

“They couldn’t handle all of this,” Millie said, turning into the parking lot of Burt’s, “but I love the way you think, love.” Millie pushed her door open after she put the car in park and turned off the engine. “Guess what?” she asked her friends. “Archie gave me the best idea.”

Mamma and Esther looked about as enthused as Ollie did when Millie told them my suggestion. “What?” I asked them too. “She’d be fabulous! Those callers would eat her sass up with a spoon.”

“I’m not sure it’s good for her blood pressure,” Mamma said worriedly.

“Or, it could improve her blood pressure because she’s getting the frustration out of her system,” Esther said.

“It’s just a fun idea,” Millie said, waving the notion away. “They wouldn’t want to waste time with an opinionated old woman.”

I looked around the parking lot and along the sidewalk in front of the restaurant. “I don’t see an old woman.”

“Oh, I just love you to pieces,” Millie said, squeezing me. “Let’s get inside and order our food. All this yelling at the radio has worked up an appetite.”

We headed to our usual corner booth where the waitress took our usual order. Why mess with a good thing when it worked so well for us? The pregame show had just ended, and we expected the broadcast to change from the studio to stadium, but they pitched it to the local news affiliate instead.

“Oh look,” Mamma said. “It’s the art museum. I wonder if they’re going to say how much money the event raised.”

“I wonder how much your drawing sold for, Ollie,” I said.

“You submitted a drawing?” Millie asked. “Was it something I’ve already seen or something you drew just for the event?”

“It was—”