Page 26 of Broken Halos
“You didn’t?”
I shook my head, hoping he’d let it go. I wasn’t ready to talk about my first sexual experience and the consequences I endured afterward. Archie must’ve sensed it was a touchy subject because he quickly kissed me to pull me back to him.
“Stay right here with me, Ollie.” He ran his hand through my hair, and I leaned into his palm.
Getting hot enough to come in your jeans sounds sexy until your underwear starts sticking to you. “Would you like to take a shower and borrow some of my clothes?”
“Throwing me out already?” Archie asked wryly.
“Of course not,” I replied, tweaking a hardened nipple. “You’re welcome to stay here tonight since you’re in an unfamiliar location and it’s almost midnight. We can throw our sticky clothes in the washing machine, and I’ll let you borrow a pair of my sweats to wear to bed.”
Archie tilted his head to the side as he considered my idea. “I really don’t want to run into the spooky corn children on my drive back home, and it is getting late. If it’s not too much of an imposition, I’d like to stay.”
“It’s not an imposition.”
“There’s just one problem, Ollie.” His expression and tone turned grave. Did he turn into a pumpkin after midnight?
“What’s that?” I asked.
“I sleep naked.”
“FOR SHAME, FOR SHAME,”REGGIEteased. He just happened to be coming down the staircase when I sauntered through the front door Saturday afternoon. Reggie took one look at my borrowed sweats and T-shirt and knew I hadn’t just returned from running errands. I never left the house wearing anything so casual unless it was to work out at the gym or yoga studio. Besides Henry, Reggie was our newest member of the household, but it didn’t take living here long to know weekends were my leisure time. I took my rest, relax, and recharging very seriously.
“Is this what the face of shame looks like to you, Reg?” I asked, pointing to my Cheshire grin. Before he could answer me, I walked the hallway like it was my personal catwalk and I was the Queen of Queers. Oh, yes, baby. Sometimes diva wasn’t a big enough label to describe the way a person felt inside.
“Work it,” Reggie called after me.
I reached my bedroom door, executed a sassy turn, and placed a hand on my cocked hip. “Baby, I own it.” Reggie’s laughter echoed down the hallway as I shut the door, sealing myself inside my personal haven.
Outwardly, I often chose to wear bold colors or patterns, and I liked to create new dramatic looks with makeup. Inside my room, I needed a space that was a peaceful oasis. I chose warm earth tones for my furnishings but added pops of warm colors like jade, amethyst, and teal in accent pieces like my bedside lamps and the throw pillows on the chaise in the corner and on top of my chocolate brown comforter. It was when I looked at my perfectly made bed with tidy pillows that it sank in I had spent the night away from home. The world didn’t end, the house didn’t burn to the ground, and as I told Reggie, I didn’t feel an ounce of shame for staying the night at Ollie’s house. Maybe it had more to do with the person who slept across the bed from me, and his sultry, warm eyes which invited me to scoot closer and stay longer. Eyes the same warm, chocolate brown as my comforter.
I looked around my space and wondered what Ollie would think about it. Would he find it a warm and inviting space as I did, or would he think the crystals hanging from the lampshade and my gilded, glamorous vanity was too much? Would he be turned off by the drawers inside the chestnut wardrobe that held lacy panties, bras, garters, and stockings? Would he want me only to wear those things for him in private as the others had, or would he like knowing I was wearing something lacy and delicate beneath my clothes? Ollie said he liked me just the way I was, but what if I showed up at his church and the strap of a bra or negligée peeped out from beneath my dress shirt? It was one thing to say you were okay with it, but another to embrace it publicly.
The mere thought of Ollie pulling away from me dimmed the joy I felt from waking up in his bed. Ollie’s eyes looked at me with adoration, and I couldn’t bear the thought he might look upon me with shame, disappointment, or disgust. I could handle that kind of rejection from the others before Ollie but not him. He was supposed to be different, someone I could trust. It was better to cut this off before—I wouldn’t allow myself to finish the thought. There was no way I was going to sabotage things with Ollie before they even really started. I’d tried pushing him away and made myself miserable in the process. I was determined to take a chance with him and let myself hope Ollie was as real as he said he was.
My cell phone rang in the pocket of the borrowed sweats. I’d hoped it was Ollie and groaned a little when I saw it was my mom. I knew she wanted to pump me for information about what happened after she left, but I wasn’t ready to talk about the special moments I’d shared with Ollie. How did a thirty-five-year-old man explain dry humping Ollie felt better than the penetrative sex I’ve had the past few years? Wait. Why would this thirty-five-year-old man think he needed to be that explicit during a conversation with his mom?
“Hello, Mamma,” I said into the phone.
“I want him, Archie.”
“Who?” I asked, playing dumb.
“Ollie. Who else, knucklehead?”
“Mamma,” I said slowly and softly, “I don’t know how to break this to you. Maybe it’s best if I just rip the Band-Aid off.” I paused for dramatic effect. “Mamma, Ollie isn’t into you. Please don’t take it personally.”
“Don’t be a smart-ass, Archie,” Mamma said, unable to keep the humor out of her voice. “I thought you were going to tell me you ran him off already.”
“Mamma, I don’t run guys off. They run on their own.”
“Now you have a guy who wants to stay, and you’re wanting to push him away before he can change his mind and hurt you like all the others did.” She wasn’t wrong. Hadn’t I just battled my instinct to push him away? “None of them were worthy of you. Quite frankly, it was pretty silly of them to expect you to leave your alter ego in the dressing rooms of Queen City Divas when you finished performing. Lady Bea Trix wasn’t an act, Bea is part of who you are. Ollie won’t be turned off by your alter ego nor will he be embarrassed by it.”
“How do you know?”
Mamma let out a long-suffering sigh like she was preparing herself to address the village idiot once more. “I have eyes in my head, Archie. I was in the same room with you guys last night, not that either of you remembered you were standing up in front of a room full of senior citizens.”
“Senior citizens and you,” I countered.