Page 15 of Broken Halos
“Ollie…”
Maria had the worst timing, or the most impeccable timing depending on what Archie said next. “Here you go, boys,” she said, setting down our salads and a basket of breadsticks to share along with his glass of milk.
“Thanks, Mamma,” we both said at the same time, earning a sappy smile from her. I thought she might be getting the wrong idea about us. Then I knew it was the case when she said, “Too bad you guys didn’t order a plate of spaghetti to share likeLady and the Tramp.”
“Mamma,” Archie said in a low tone, pleading for her to stop talking and give us privacy.
“Oh, all right,” she said, waving her hand in the air. “I can tell you don’t want me telling Ollie it’s your favorite Disney movie.” She smiled mischievously then added, “He had a hard time figuring out if he wanted to be the lady or the tramp growing up.”
I nearly choked on my drink of milk. Maria pounded on my back then rubbed it in small circles. “I’m all better now,” I told her.
“I’ll leave you boys alone. Your calzone will be out in just a few minutes.”
“Where were we?” Archie asked when we were alone once more.
“You’d just said ‘Ollie’ with this sad voice and dramatic pause. I think you were about to deliver some bad news.”
Archie looked down at the table for a few seconds as if he was trying to recall what he was about to say, or maybe choose his words better. Whatever the reason, he was more composed when his green gaze met mine again. “Ollie…” Same serious tone, same dramatic pause.
Oh boy.
IF EYES WERE THE WINDOWSto our souls, I wished like hell Ollie would lower the shades because seeing him brace himself for my rejection was painful. I don’t mean a dull ache either; I’m talking my gut burned and twisted like I’d swallowed battery acid. As flattered as I was by Ollie’s attraction to me, I could tell his pain went much deeper and existed a lot longer than I’ve known him. So, even though I was aware I didn’t shoulder the burden of his despair alone, it did nothing to ease the acid burning me alive from the inside out.
“Here we go, boys,” Mamma said, busting her way through the swinging door with a smile for me that said, “don’t fuck this up.”
I should never have brought Ollie here, but it just felt right until my mom mistook my actions as bringing home a boy to get her approval. Damn, I’m pretty sure we both would have come out of the evening feeling better if I’d just found a secluded parking lot for him to blow me while I jerked him off. We both got so worked up after watching the silhouette of the guy getting worked over by his lover. Some might say a passionate exchange would’ve confused Ollie more than I already had but bringing him home to Mamma wasn’t any clearer. First, I gave his number to Henry, then, I show up at the bowling alley to watch him bowl. He might not have been my only friend on the team, but he was the one I couldn’t look away from. Everyone knew it, including him. I could’ve left and told him I’d see him later, but I invited him for pizza at my mother’s restaurant instead. Talk about giving a man mixed signals.
“Is there anything else I can get you?” Mamma asked, pulling my eyes away from Ollie’s somber ones and up to hers which were identical to mine in color and shape and all-knowing. I didn’t see recrimination in her eyes; I saw encouragement to take a fucking chance again.
“I’m good, Mamma. How about you, Ollie?” I softly asked when I looked back at him.
He shook his head. Mamma had never been one to withhold affection, and she wasn’t about to start then, even if Ollie was a virtual stranger to her. She gently cupped his chin and dropped a kiss on top of his head. “You let me know if that changes, love.”
Ollie’s expression changed from sorrowful to content at the gentle, brief touch. It moved me more than any words he could speak, and I was grateful he hadn’t pulled the shades down over his windows after all. It turned out I wanted to know his story. Mamma removed her hand and returned to the kitchen, leaving us alone once more. Ollie blinked and the yearning I saw moments before was gone, and he was back to bracing himself for bad news.
“Do you mind if we eat first?” He looked down at the calzone between us. “I don’t know. There looks to be at least two thousand calories there, so maybe you should drop the hammer and kill my appetite.”
I snorted. “I’m not dropping the hammer on you, Ollie.”
“You’ve had a change of heart then,” he said stubbornly. “I’m good at reading people, and your expression said you were about to let me down easy.”
“Wrong,” I said just as stubbornly. “It was more of like I didn’t know how to proceed because I’m not sure I can be just your friend, and a relationship isn’t something I want.”
“With me?”
I wanted to reach across the table and hold both of his hands, but I made tight fists beneath the table to keep from doing it. “With anyone.” He released a long sigh and looked slightly mollified by my answer. “I want to try being friends with you, Ollie. You bring something into my life that I crave.” A dark eyebrow shot up in silent question. “You give me lightness, Golden Boy. I didn’t know how much darkness and negativity had permeated my soul until you showed up and lit up my world.”
“I want to light up your world.” He blushed a bright pink which I found so fucking adorable. “I didn’t mean that to come out sounding suggestive.”
“Anything you say through those gorgeous lips is going to sound suggestive.”
Ollie ran his fingers over his lips, making me want to do the same. “You think my lips are gorgeous?” God, why did he have to sound so uncertain? He was so much easier to resist when he behaved boldly and shamelessly.
“I wouldn’t have said so if I didn’t think it,” I replied. “If we’re going to be friends, you need to accept I will not say things I don’t mean. I won’t blow sunshine up your ass to make you feel better. If you ask me if your ass looks big in something you’re wearing, I will give you an honest answer.” After I fantasize about stripping him naked first.
“Do these jeans make my butt look big?” And just like that, I saw myself kneeling in front of Ollie stripping the denim down his lean legs.
“No, they don’t.” My voice sounded raw and strained.