Page 224 of Broken Brothers

“Who?”

Well, if I had tried to sugarcoat the words by being vague, there was no escaping it now.

“Sarah Hill,” I said, practically pushing the words out before I could reconsider saying anything.

Layla’s face dropped. We had gotten to her front door, just moments away from getting inside, a chance to start doing things. And now, I had dropped a bombshell.

“She’s leaving tomorrow, though, and nothing happened,” I said, which I didn’t feel like was a lie.

I hadn’t kissed her, let alone slept with her. I’d touched her some, but I’d pulled away at every moment I could have done something. If that didn’t indicate a serious commitment to trying to make it work with Layla, I didn’t know what did. Nothing did.

“That hurts,” she said. “You told me on Thursday to talk to you before you took the job. Why did you ask that?”

I bit my lip. Boy, I had really fucked myself over with a moment of jealousy. I had let my emotions get the better of me—what a classic Chance move.

What a fuckup I was.

“Because I was going to ask you to be my girlfriend once all of the shit with Edwin Hunt’s funeral settled down,” I admitted.

“And was ‘all of the shit’ including you seeing your childhood crush and the girl that you’ve secretly hoped to get back since you had barely hit puberty?”

I looked at her askance. How did she know all of that? I hadn’t said anything about Sarah to her before.

“Don’t look at me like I don’t know, Chance. I got everything when I helped your brother and you get rid of Edwin. I didn’t think anything of it, because we all have our past baggage. But I sure think a hell of a lot of it now that I know she came to townand you chose to hang out with her while we were trying to figure things out.”

“Layla…”

“Damnit, Chance,” she said. “I’m not your backup plan. I know I fucked up, but that doesn’t mean you get to treat me like shit.”

I realized that there was nothing I could say here to make Layla feel better, and that wasn’t because Layla was mad or crazy. If I were in her shoes, I could see how everything she was saying was a giant fuckup on my part. I had known in my gut that even meeting Sarah was a mistake; it wasn’t like we’d stayed friends all through high school and college. She’d been exactly what Layla said she was—someone I had pined for since I’d just started to have my balls drop.

And now it had cost me my shot at love.

“I’m sorry, Layla,” I said. “I just hope you know that you are not my backup plan. I don’t believe in backup plans. I believe in going all in and accepting whatever happens. I want to go all in with you. I still do.”

“Then you need to tell me exactly what happened with Sarah,” Layla said. “I’m not the jealous type, but I think you can forgive my suspicion here, right?”

I nodded. It was not a good look.

And so, in painful detail, I recounted everything that had happened. Well, almost everything—I spared her the details about us crashing into the wall at the ice rink and nearly kissing. But I admitted all of the walking around we did, all of the spots we hit, and how Sarah was interested in me, but it was something I refused.

All of it sounded nice and good, but there was a serious problem with the idea that I could get myself out of this situation. I had specifically told Layla to hold off on accepting the job—and yet I couldn’t hold off on seeing an old friend?

If I could go back in time, I would have told Sarah I’d see her on Monday or Tuesday before she flew out. I would have said something about Edwin and needing to take care of all of this. Or, frankly, maybe I just should have said the fucking truth.

But no. I let my childish impulse and desires win out over my better common sense.

“Chance…” Layla said, her voice trailing off.

“You’re going to take the Chicago job?”

Layla bit her lip. Her expression said it all.

“You should go now, Chance,” she said. “Thank you for everything. I mean it. The good and the bad. It made me grow up and grow a spine for myself. But… if you’re going to keep Sarah Hill in your life, I’m never going to be able to sleep easy with you, wondering if she’s someone that you’re going to run to the minute things don’t work out between us. So, I won’t hold you back from that.”

“Layla—”

“If she’s leaving tomorrow, go see her tonight,” Layla said. “You can get it out of your system, get the girl you always wanted, and then whomever you date next won’t have to deal with your issues with her.”