Page 210 of Broken Brothers

I sat there, stunned. I had never really thought about what this day would feel like; I was so far removed from everything having to do with my biological parents that I didn’t think of how I’d react when I lost one of them.

But now my father was dead… the man who could have loved and cared for me like Edwin should have, and I would never get that. I would never get a conversation with him. I didn’t even know his name was Parker—that’s how bad it was.

“OK,” I said simply.

I didn’t know how to react. I was more just confused than anything else. I also felt, once again, abandoned; it seemed people liked to leave me behind when it was convenient for them.

“If you want to go to his funeral—”

“No,” I said immediately. “No. He… he doesn’t mean anything to me. I won’t know anyone there. I’m good.”

“OK,” Mrs. Hunt said. “If you want to talk about it, just let me know.”

I nodded. I stood up, gave my mother a hug, and walked out the door.

If I was supposed to feel anything for a man who hadn’t been there in my life other than disappointment, I sure didn’t feel it right then.

Present Day

“I’m so sorry, Morgan,”I said.

Now that the day had finally come, the one that Morgan and I had anticipated now for… my God, just three days…

It had only been three days since Morgan told me his father was sick. Even in the worst case scenario of my projections, I never would have thought three days would have killed him. He really had just lost everything and seen no reason to carry on.

I flashed back to remembering how my actual father had died, and I suddenly felt very guilty for the things I had said about him at the time. I’d avoided seeing my father’s grave, even when that knowledge was quietly passed on to me by Melanie. I avoided visiting my actual, biological mother, even when that same information was included in the resting spot of my father.

All of those fears of abandonment… I didn’t know anything about my biological parents. The high school version of myself, dealing with insecurities of being alone forever, had simply pushed any knowledge of them away, not wanting to open up the opportunity to get hurt even more. And now here was a spot where there was someone whom I knew all too much about having died, and it was even worse than not knowing.

Actually, the worst part was that Edwin had every opportunity to be the man who earned the title of father. Just like Melanie had earned the title of Mom and Morgan had earned the title of brother, Edwin could have very easily beenlike a father to me. Had he just put an ounce of effort into making me a better businessman… had he just shown some interest in who I was and my wellbeing…

I never expected him to be like Mom, staying at home, driving us to school, taking care of us in every sense necessary. Even at a young age, I understood that Edwin was the breadwinner of the family, and that required him being away from us for long stretches of time. I just wished that he had been someone who, when he was present, had given just an ounce of a damn about me.

But no. He had not.

And now, it was too late. He would never get the chance to earn the title of father to me. Edwin Hunt dying meant as much to me as a former U.S. president or famous athlete dying.

That was a slight exaggeration, but not as much as it should have been.

However, that was only the case for me.

“You OK?” I said.

“I mean… no,” Morgan said. “I’m at the hospital.”

“Is Mom there?”

“She’s on her way,” Morgan said. “But… I don’t think she’s too heartbroken about it, Chance. She’s more concerned with how I am than about Edwin.”

“I’m sorry,” I said, even though I fully understood Mom’s position. “Hang tight. I’ll be there in about twenty minutes, OK?”

“OK. Thanks.”

“Love you, man.”

I hung up shortly after when Morgan could only barely mutter that he loved me too. I let the phone drop by my side as I sighed.What could have been, never will be. I’m not sure there are seven sadder words in the English language than that.

“You OK?”