Page 192 of Broken Brothers

“But good on you, man. I hope you make the right decision, and if you still want to be with Layla after this is all said and done, I’ll believe that you’ve made a rational decision in picking her.”

That was the hope, at least. I didn’t want to have complete self-control around her; that would’ve been as bad as no self-control. Having just the right amount of self control, though, would go a long way to making things right.

“We’ll see,” I said. “I see her tomorrow morning. Since she’s still job hunting, we’re both free to meet up whenever we want.”

“Yeah?” he said. “And how do you feel?”

Both our phones buzzed as Mom hurriedly texted us for our choice toppings. I laughed. With life as it was, there was only one way to feel.

“Optimistic,” I said. “I really do.”

78

When I woke up Friday morning, Layla was quite literally the first person on my mind.

I woke up to a text from her confirming that we were meeting at Central Park at ten a.m. It being eight a.m., I had plenty of time to get ready, but I decided I didn’t want to wait that long. After all, we didn’t have any rules about how much we could or couldn’t see each other.

“Wanna aim for sooner?” I wrote. “Maybe in an hour?”

Almost as soon as I had hit send, I saw the text bubble popping up. It warmed my heart to think that Layla had been reading our conversation when that text arrived, enabling her to reply immediately.

“Oh man, you’re going to make me rush my makeup, huh? Sure, why not :-) Same place?”

I wrote back yes and put my phone down, smiling at the ceiling as I put my hands behind my head. Why didn’t I just accept her as my girlfriend right now? Why didn’t I just rush into it?

Because the last time you said you loved her, all of that shit went down where she tricked you in public. No, she’s not goingto do that again. But do you know who needs the discipline and the test of time? It’s not just her.

Even with this sobering thought, I still couldn’t shake my smile. Man, life was perfect!

I hurriedly got dressed, throwing on a v-neck shirt that displayed my upper pecs very well and my arms equally well. I threw on some jeans and a light jacket, just in case the chill got to be too much, and I applied some quick cologne. I smelled the same as I had the first time I had taken her out.

Maybe it was a new beginning, but it was important to have a tribute and a throwback to some things in the past. I didn’t want this to be an entirely new experience—otherwise, Layla wouldn’t be dating Chance Hunt, she’d be dating some other guy.

I hurried down the stairs, deciding to take a walk to Central Park instead of the train. The walk would only have me waiting twenty minutes, while the train would have me sitting there for over half an hour, getting looped in my head even more until she finally came and showed up. Besides, the walk gave me a chance to enjoy New York City at a snail’s pace.

While everyone else blitzed through work, struggled to meet deadlines, and otherwise had a hard time finding a moment to just breathe, I relaxed with ease at a casual stroll. Around me, people hurried and walked at a normal New York pace, but I deliberately slowed myself down, almost as if I was out living in the country once more. It was here that I got to see…

The taxis honking, the people brushing by without saying excuse me, and the homeless asking for change.

OK, maybe it made sense that people in New York City moved with a hurry. It didn’t bother me per se, but it did remind me of how Layla had once said she wanted to move out of the city and somewhere into the country, perhaps in Connecticut, someday. I could see the appeal in it now.

It probably wasn’t a good sign for my ability to stay detached and neutral that I began to think about what life in Connecticut would like look with Layla. But then again, that wasn’t the point; the goal wasn’t for me to stay neutral and far away from her. It was to get up close, enjoy the moments I had with her, and then, only when I separated for the day or night, to think about her in more rational terms.

I got to the entrance to the zoo at Central Park, our agreed upon meeting point, and checked my phone. It was just sixteen minutes to nine, or sixteen minutes until I got to see the woman that I had undeniable feelings for—the one that, try as I might, I had to take slow.

I spent the time pacing in place, just trying to kill time. I checked my email multiple times, seeing if Andrew or Claire had a question I might be able to distract myself with, but none of them had anything to say. I checked my other messages, but other than Mom thanking me for hosting us the previous night, there wasn’t anything there either too.

And then, when I looked up, I saw her.

It was some sight seeing her for the first time in what must’ve been nearly a fully week. Despite the relatively short time that had passed, I felt like I was looking at her for the first time. Her curves still looked as beautiful as ever, but she actually looked like she had lost some weight. Her skin had gotten a little bit darker from what looked like some tans.

Most of all, though, her smile beamed from one corner of Central Park to the other; it was the kind of smile that, even if you were just a stranger jogging by or walking your dog, would make you smile too.

“Hey, Layla,” I said, even though what I wanted to say was “Goddamn, Layla, you’re sexy as fuck!’

“Hey, Chance,” she said with a hint of seduction as I went over and kissed her on the cheek. She wanted to kiss me on thelips, but I was determined to treat this as much as a first date as possible, even if that was like asking a husband to not smile at his wife after a work vacation.

“You came early,” I said.