Page 40

By the time I lock the front door, Sasha is already down the hall in the kitchen, setting her bag on the kitchen table. The same one my roommates have fucked me on multiple times because they were too impatient for us to go up to a bedroom.

"Where are your roommates? I thought they were going to be here." Sasha pulls out her workbook so we can analyze tonight's movie.

"I'm not sure where they went." They'd been rushing around only a moment ago and I thought they'd still be right behind me. Maybe they wanted to give us privacy.

"Oh." Sasha frowns, but then regains her composure. "Well, shall we get started? Where are we watching the movie?"

"We have a theater downstairs." I lead the way into the basement, realizing we have a projector instead of a normal tv, and I've never set it up. I'll have to get one of the guys to come help with it.

"I guess that's one of the benefits of living in such a big house. A room just for movie watching," says Sasha behind me.

"But then you'd have roommates, and I thought you liked living alone." There are definitely things I miss about it, but at this point I don't think I'd like it anymore. It'd be weird to go back to the silence, not having others around to help cook or clean or laugh with in the evenings.

"I do, but there are certainly benefits to your situation."

Oh, Sasha, you have no idea .

I stop short on the bottom of the stairs and Sasha runs into my back, nearly sending me tumbling onto the basement floor.

Helix and Miles are both down here.

"We thought you might need help setting up," says Helix, currently loading our streaming service onto the screen.

"And you can't watch a movie without snacks." Miles tops off a bowl of chips, then comes around to shake Sasha's hand.

"I'm Miles, and that's Helix," he says. "I think you met a couple of our teammates already."

"At the bar," clarifies Helix, also shaking Sasha's hand. Like it needed clarifying.

"So then there's just one more of you I haven't met yet," Sasha points out, still clutching Helix's hand.

"I doubt you'll meet Ethan," says Miles, coughing to cover his snicker as Helix yanks his hand back.

"Do you want to join us for the movie?" offers Sasha.

"Well, Clarissa had mentioned this was kind of a work session for the two of you," says Helix, "so we're going to get out of your way. But text us if you need anything."

Miles leans in as they pass as if he's going to kiss me. It's normal, but at the last minute we both realize that we have a guest who doesn’t know our situation, and I turn slightly away from him as he awkwardly pats my shoulder instead.

"Alright, what movie do we want to analyze tonight?" I flip through potential options, breathing a sigh of relief at the averted crisis as the guys make their way upstairs.

"Let's do the one about the fashion designer from the south who is accidentally still married to her husband," suggests Sasha, settling into the sofa.

"Sounds good. There are a lot of tropes in there to discuss.

Especially because it's kind of enemies to lovers, but also a second chance romance.

" I cue up the movie and take a look at the array of snacks my boyfriends provided.

They actually did a decent job—chips and salsa, popcorn, some sodas, a bowl of chocolate candies.

I shouldn't really be surprised, though.

Before I moved in, they pretty much survived on snacks.

We watch the movie in silence, and my focus wanders to what my roommates could be doing right now. Slipping my phone out of my pocket, I check the their subscribers' chat, since I can't see if they're live streaming from my phone.

There seems to be a conversation about an upcoming ARAM, and one of their followers is claiming a female gamer could never be an AP Carry. Some of the others are bringing up strategies of the other team, such as their tendency to camp. And still others keep commenting, "BM".

My fingers hover over the keyboard. I've always lurked as other subscribers chatted because I don't want my boyfriends to find out I'm basically spying on them, and because I'm still getting a grasp on the lingo and how to play the game.

But no one should bash a player simply because they're a woman.

"BM. Toxicity is not allowed," posts Hel.

The chatbot states that the asshole has been removed and banned.

"We're not afraid to enforce the rules," posts Faker.

I delete everything I'd been typing because my boyfriends dealt with the misogynist quickly and didn't let it get out of hand. They stood up for her before I could, and now I want to thank them for being so awesome.

"Who are you texting?" asks Sasha, her attention on me and not on the movie.

"Oh, no one." I set my phone facedown on the coffee table and grab a handful of popcorn.

"Last time we watched a movie, you were texting your roommates, and then suddenly had to leave," she points out.

"I think they're gaming, actually." Or at least chatting with their fans. "I'm not sure though."

"Is something happening between you and one of your roommates?" Sasha fully turns to face me on the sofa, the movie forgotten.

"What? Why do you ask?" I focus on my popcorn, chewing one kernel at a time. My stomach is somersaulting. I was afraid she was going to do this.

"You've never gone out much, and as soon as you moved in here, it seems like whenever we're hanging out, you're texting someone." Sasha leans forward to snag a couple of chips.

The way she phrases it makes me feel shitty, like I'm a bad friend for ignoring her when we're supposed to be spending time together. I wouldn't like that if she did it to me.

"Besides, your writing has improved so much, you must be getting inspiration from somewhere. And if you're not watching porn, you must be sleeping with someone," she says, watching my reaction carefully.

"Is that what you'd do?" I'm not sure if I'm ready to have this conversation with anyone.

It has to happen at some point, and it makes sense that Sasha would be the first person I tell about my unconventional relationship, since she's my closest friend here, but it still makes me nervous that she might judge me.

"Sleep with someone for inspiration?" asks Sasha, as if she's considering the idea.

"I suppose I would, although I work a lot, so it'd be challenging.

I'd have to make sure they don't get attached because I'm focused on my career right now and if I keep rapid-releasing and following the data, I should be able to set up my entire career to succeed.

I don't have time for a relationship, so if I were going to sleep with someone for inspiration, it would have to be casual. "

"That's very practical." Maybe Sasha wouldn't judge me, then. Maybe I should come right out and say it. Tell her I'm sleeping with, and sort of dating, all five of my roommates. But there's a difference between her willing to sleep with one guy for inspiration and my sleeping with five.

She shrugs. "You're just as practical, right? Focusing on your career. Why else would you move from your own apartment into a house with five random gamers?"

Nodding, I weigh my options carefully. Finally, I say, "Living here does help so I can put all of my profits toward my next book since I don't have any bills now."

"You don't have any bills? What about rent?"

"Oh, uh, actually, I don't pay rent since my roommates earn enough to cover all the bills. They buy the groceries too." I pick an invisible piece of lint from my hoodie, nervous. That was a huge piece of honesty, and I need to gauge how she reacts before I tell her anything else.

"They're paying for you to live here?" Sasha's eyebrows nearly disappear into her hairline.

"Uh, yeah, we … sort of worked out a deal.

" I should have kept my mouth shut. I wish I were anywhere but here right now.

But I've come to realize lately that the more time I spend with my boyfriends, the more time I want to spend with them, and at some point I need to not keep them a secret anymore.

I'm certainly not starting off by telling my parents, they're too judgmental, so it makes more sense to confide in a friend, another spicy romance author who might be more likely to understand.

"What sort of deal?"

"We're … dating," I mumble, reaching for more popcorn even though I don't want it. My nerves over this whole conversation are making me feel sick, but at least snacks will occupy my hands.

"So you met, and at some point they liked you enough to ask you to move in and let them take care of you financially," states Sasha, her shock almost tangible.

"… basically." Sasha doesn't have the exact timeline, or the specifics of how and why we met, but she has the gist.

"Which one are you sleeping with then?" She leans forward, clearly hoping for some details.

I cringe a little. It's one thing for me to think about it that way, as just sleeping with my roommates for room and board, but hearing Sasha say it out loud doesn't sit well. Besides, I'd said "dating", not "sleeping with". She made that leap all on her own.

"All of them." I shove the rest of the handful of popcorn in my mouth to avoid saying anything else, and immediately regret the decision as the popcorn turns to sawdust in my mouth.

I sip at my soda, trying to swallow the mouthful of popcorn down.

I very intentionally do not look at my friend on the other end of the sofa, instead training my eye back on the movie.

"All of them?" I've clearly shocked Sasha. I'm a little thrilled at having managed to shock her, even as I'm mostly mortified to even be having this conversation.

Nodding, I watch the main characters argue at a bar.

"And they're okay with that?"

"It was their idea." And while I was against it in the beginning, now I love how we all fit together. I wouldn't want to give any of them up, to have to choose one boyfriend over the others. Individually they're all fantastic, but as a team they're perfection.

"Wow."