Page 29

Chapter Eighteen

My phone ringing wakes me up. It's dark, and I reach out to turn on my light but it's not there.

I'm still in Helix's bed. I must have fallen asleep and taken a longer nap than I should have. Instead of a normal lamp, he has a salt lamp on the bedside, so I follow the cord to the switch to let its soft glow light the room.

I reach for my phone. The screen is lit up with Helix's name and a little video icon.

Fuck . It's been ringing for so long if I don't answer now, I'll miss the call, and there's not enough time to run back to my room. Maybe he won't notice .

Cringing, I swipe up to answer his video call as I scoot down into the bed to only show me and the pillow.

"Miss me already?" asks Helix, also laying back on a pillow. But he's showing more of the room he's in, mostly a twin bed headboard and the bottom of some posters.

"Where are you?" I ask. "Is that—are you in your childhood bedroom?" They'd never told me where they were going. And I don't want him to know I'm missing them. They hired me to do a job. Emotions aren't supposed to be involved.

Helix flips the camera to pan around the room. It's not all that different from the room I'm lying in. More action figures and posters on the walls, though, covering up the bright, cheery blue paint.

"I'm visiting my parents, which means I'm trapped in this bedroom again," says Helix, flipping the camera back to him.

"You were really into posters it looks like." I glance past my phone at the posters dotting his walls.

Helix gives a choking laugh. "My mom wouldn't let me paint the room black, so I was determined to cover as much of this blue as possible."

"I've never heard you talk about your parents or family before," I say, pulling up the blanket to just under my chin to get extra cozy.

"It's never come up," says Helix, tilting his head in confusion.

"You could offer information, you know," I tell him. "I hardly know anything about any of you."

"You know a lot about us," says Helix, his eyes focused on the screen, but not on me.

"Your dick size and favorite sex position doesn't count," I counter. Now that we're on the topic, I want to know more about the gamers I'm dating. I mean, sleeping with. Or whatever.

"Where are you?" asks Helix.

"At home." I blush and glance around the room, anywhere but at the camera.

"Your comforter is pink. Where are you?"

"Tell me one fact about your family first," I bargain, pulling the black comforter up over my face to hide my embarrassment. This is so awkward and he's going to make fun of me or use this to get something.

"I have two brothers and one sister," says Helix. "Where are you?"

"That's barely an answer, and not even really personal," I complain, peeking my head out from under the blanket. My hair looks wild in the little box where I can see myself in our video call.

"You said one fact and I gave you three, now answer my question." Helix's voice is gruff as he slides down more into his childhood bed.

"I'm in your bed," I whisper.

Helix's responding grin says it all, and I hide my own smile in his pillow.

Of all the beds I could have been in when he called, it had to be his.

If he'd have texted, I could have had a heads up and moved anywhere else.

Yet the way it makes him clearly happy for me to be in here sends a flutter into my heart.

I fist my empty hand in his comforter and hold it close.

"What are you doing in my bed?" Helix sets down the phone so I only see the ceiling for a moment.

"Taking a nap." I am not about to tell him I was snooping in all of their rooms. Or that I'd climbed into his bed to feel closer to them and less alone in this big house.

Helix picks his phone back up, and now he's shirtless.

"Nothing else?" He raises an eyebrow and holds the phone at arm's length so I can see as his free hand slips beneath his covers.

Of course Helix's mind dives straight to the gutter. I'm not not tempted, but it's different when they're not here. They can't walk in to join me or turn me on. This distance feels too far.

"I'll tell you exactly what else if you tell me another fact," I tease. Our past deals have worked out fairly well so far. Maybe I can convince Helix to open up with the promise of dirty things.

I have no desire to analyze why I want to learn more about him. Perhaps my book boyfriends need to have more depth, and not just be great in bed.

"What do you want to know?" Helix groans, pulling his hand out from under the covers.

"Everything." I grin. This feels a lot like winning.

"Fine, but for every fact, you have to take off a piece of clothing."

"Deal." I'm not feeling spicy right now, but I don't put it past Helix to get me there at some point in this conversation. "But the facts better be good."

"I make everything good." He gives me a stern look, and I laugh. "My family lives on a cattle farm, and my siblings still live in this small town."

"Yet you moved to Chicago and got into gaming." I unhook my bra and slip it off through one of my sleeves, holding it up to show him before dropping it on the floor next to the bed.

"I got into computers in middle school and gaming in junior high. Which was a challenge, because the internet connection out here isn't great."

"That's when you joined the team and started taking gaming seriously?" I hold up my shorts, then drop them over the side of the bed too.

"There were a couple of kids at school who played, but not nearly as much as me." Helix's hand slips below his blanket again. "I didn't hook up with our team until halfway through high school. We'd met through the chat and played together well."

They still play together well from all the commentary I've listened to on their games. In the bedroom too, from my own personal experience.

"When did you decide to all move in together?" I drop the phone to yank off my t-shirt and pull the covers up to my shoulders again before picking it up again.

"I saved up all of my money and our senior year, we met up for a competition." Helix bites his lip and there's a slow rhythmic movement under his blanket. The tendons in his arm flex, emphasizing his veins. "We used all of the winnings to move to the city after we graduated."

"When did you start sharing your girlfriends?" I drop my panties on the floor so I'm completely naked in Helix's bed. I wish he were here. Or that any of my boyfriends was.

"You're our first," says Helix. "Now throw off those blankets so I can see you naked and spread out on my sheets."

Sleeping in Helix's bed last night and talking to him was exactly what I needed. I'd been so used to living alone before this, but it's nice to have others around. It's clearly doing great things for my writing. Yesterday I couldn't write at all and today I've already completed two chapters.

Hearing about Helix growing up in a rural town and how he met his teammates makes me feel closer to him. Not necessarily in a physical way, but a mental one. I'm not the only one who grew up in a small town and dreamed of moving to a big city to be around people who share my own artistic values.

We'd gotten so distracted once I threw off the comforter though, and then Helix told me more about visiting his family, and I'd fallen asleep without asking again if I'm allowed to open his present.

My phone rings and it's a group video call.

I answer right away, glad I'm not in an embarrassing situation this time.

"You're finally out of bed," teases Helix.

"I've been writing all morning." I roll my eyes as Helix tells the others about our escapades last night in his bed.

"Did you give her your present, Hel?" asks Miles.

"Yeah, I want to see what it is," says Lionel.

The gamers are all sitting against different colored walls.

Lionel and Miles are both dressed and look wide awake, but Ethan and Quintin both look like they just woke up.

If they're all at home, the time difference probably makes it harder for them to call me as a group.

But they're used to keeping odd hours for work.

"Clarissa," says Helix, "why don't you open the box so they can see?"

I'd been excited, but now I'm nervous. I have a vague idea of what it could be, but it feels more serious with all of them watching me. There are random voices far away in the background and I wonder if one of them doesn't have complete privacy for this call.

A wash of jealousy rips through my stomach, and I squash it down.

I'm just curious about who my boyfriends are spending time with after hearing about Helix's family last night, that's all.

Taking deep breaths as I grab the present off my bed, I remind myself that they're visiting their families, so realistically, it's a family member they're staying with.

They're not cheating on me. It's not actually jealousy that I'm feeling.

"Clarissa, use your phone holder so you can use both hands to open the gift," says Quintin.

"I don't have one." What would I need a phone holder for?

"I don't want her to move any ours because our positioning is perfect," says Lionel.

"Set your phone against a stack of books," says Ethan. "It's not ideal, but should work for this short call."

My shoulders slump a little as I prop up my phone. Of course they're not calling to spend real time with me. They just want me to open the gift and then they'll move on with their day and spend quality non-gaming time with other people who aren't me. And I'll go back to sitting here all alone.

"I'll add getting Clarissa a phone stand to my list," says Helix. "Now open your gift. You're going to love it."

Lifting off the lid, there's a small pink egg lying on a bed of tissue paper.

"Thank you?" I lift it up and show it to the camera. "I've always wanted an egg?"

They chuckle a little, which is nerve-wracking because it means they know something I don't. And I'm probably not going to like it when I find out.

"Stick that up your pussy," says Helix, "It'll let you know when we're thinking about you."

"You can't be serious." They're all hundreds of miles away, yet they still want to play with me using one of their toys. They wouldn't even be able to enjoy it. Unless … are they wanting me to masturbate for them right now on camera using the toy?

"Of course we're serious," says Lionel, shocked that I could believe otherwise.

"Should I put it in right now?" I'm sure they want to watch, and not so sure I want them to.

"Miles, your grandparents are here," says a woman's voice off camera. "You can't spend your whole visit in your bedroom."

"I'll be out in a second, Mom," groans Miles.

"Well, hurry up, they're waiting," his mom tells him.

"I gotta get going," says Miles. "If I don't come out immediately, she's just going to come back in."

"I need to run here quick too," says Lionel.

"Same," says Ethan.

"Just put it in, Clarissa, and you'll know we're thinking about you even when we're so far away," says Quintin. "Talk soon."

"Bye," chorus the others, and the screen goes black.

I still don't understand why they left me this toy as a present if they weren't going to watch me play with it. This whole situation is so frustrating. Not to mention, if they knew they were leaving well enough in advance to order the toy, they could have also told me about their trip.

Even now, they call, but don't really talk to me. Not like Helix did last night. Why do I even care? They're not really my boyfriends. They're roommates who pay my room and board so they can have me on standby anytime they want a fuck.

I put the egg back in its box and toss it on my bed so I can keep working.

I don't want their stupid present anymore.

I'm going to write out my annoyance in this manuscript.

My heroine is about to tell off her boyfriend so he can shape up and get his act together.

Then I'll make him suffer. A lot. And finally, he'll grovel and come crawling back.

It's so satisfying because when my heroine does it, I can ensure that everything goes exactly her way and her boyfriend doesn't say anything that throws a wrench into her plans.

If only real life worked the same way .

Being pissed off apparently inspires my writing as much as blissful orgasms, because when I check my word count, it's higher than it's been in ages. Took me most of the day, but it's worth it.

As I'm getting ready for movie night at Sasha's, I check my messages to see if there's anything last-minute she's asked me to bring. The only text, though, is in our house chat.

Did you put the egg in? asks Helix.

Taking several deep breaths, I remind myself that when they piss me off, they're still helping me write the book. In fact, just today they've helped me nearly finish the first draft. Besides, when I check for the anger, it's mostly gone. Displaced into my heroine instead.

I open the box again. The egg is smooth, and doesn't seem sinister. Maybe it's supposed to help my pussy stay stretched out enough to take their cocks again when they come home. Lifting one foot up onto my bed, I pull aside my panties and start to insert the egg, but I'm annoyed and completely dry.

Lube, that's what I need. I'm nearly positive Quintin'll have some. I go into his room and open his bedside drawer, and sure enough, among all the detritus in there is a bottle of lube.

I coat the egg with a little and press it again to the lips of my pussy, slowly easing it inside. It's a definite stretch, but once it's in it's not so noticeable. I'm aware of it, but it's not the worst. And now I can tell my roommates I'm still playing by the rules.

It's in , I text the group. Heading out to a friend's for a movie night. Talk tomorrow .

There. Now they know I'm not here pathetically waiting for them to spend time with me or talk to me.

I have friends and plans and a life. Take that, boys.

Although a little part of me wonders if I'd told them I'd talk to them tomorrow so I wouldn't have to deal with the disappointment of them not messaging me again tonight.

Their lack of immediate response says it all.