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Chapter Eight

Fuck, I didn't mean to say that. Maybe I should not drink a second glass at critique group ever again. My mouth will be writing checks my body won't want to cash.

Or maybe I do. Drinking is supposed to bring out the truth, right?

"If you say so," says Miles, scooting the slightest bit closer to me on the sofa. There was barely any space between us already, so now we're pressed against each other from shoulder to hip.

And they say men don't listen. Miles clearly heard the last word I said.

Sexual . He is cute in a nerdy way. He's not someone I would normally check out from across the room, but up close, really looking at him, he's attractive.

Maybe something could happen between us tonight.

For research, of course. And because of our agreement. Work stuff, that's all.

I lean in a little myself, letting my shoulder brush against his. It's a bit pokey, not padded with muscle, but I don't mind.

"I suppose we should keep going with our strategy session then?" asks Helix, looking around at the others, but pausing longer to stare at me. He must see something that answers his question as I stare back patiently, because he turns back to the map on the screen and points out different landmarks.

The rhythm of Helix's speech is calming as he methodically goes through attack patterns their upcoming opponents have launched in the past. Add in the darkness of the room and the second drink, and I could comfortably stay here all evening.

I'm sure it doesn't help that I've barely slept these last few days, wondering if any of my roommates will come in when I'm asleep to access their benefits.

Then working my fingers to the bone typing—and touching myself—all day as I compile my notes on our sexual escapades and translate them into my new book.

But tonight I got good feedback from my group, and I'm confident my new story is awesome. I've earned a chance to relax.

Miles kisses my forehead and I'm in such a happy, drowsy haze that I tilt my face up to him and kiss him full on the lips. There's nothing wrong with it , I sleepily think. He's my boyfriend . Granted, the others are all sitting around us, watching. But it still feels right.

It's slow and coaxing, with a hint of tongue. Just a hint that it could turn deeper at any moment, should one of us decide to take it there. With all of the other gamers around us on the sofa.

The thought that they may be taking notes of their own amuses me, and I decide that I want more than a chaste kiss.

Twisting, I turn so I'm facing Miles directly, climbing into his lap.

With Ethan, we were both nervous and clumsy as if it were actually our own individual first times.

With Lionel, it was commanding and overwhelming.

And in both cases, even though I was accepting of what was happening, I also kind of felt like I didn't really have a say in it.

But this here with Miles, it's my own choice.

I want to explore, to gain new experiences.

The other times were testing, required. This is my choice, and I'm chasing it.

Miles is already hard beneath me as my knees bracket his hips.

I can feel everything through my thin leggings as I grind on top of his sweatpants.

There is still no finesse in my approach.

I haven't learned that yet, but I know exactly how thrilling it feels now to feel in control and desired by a man.

So much so that he doesn't seem to care we're not alone.

Even though I'm in control, Miles is right here with me. His hands frame my face as we kiss, and now his tongue is involved, darting past my lips, fucking me the way he will soon with his cock.

Possibly with an audience.

When Lionel and I were walked in on in the kitchen, I was startled, but in the days since I've realized how much the idea of being watched turns me on. I never thought I would want that. And this time, it's not going to be a surprise.

Besides, they're all going to get a taste of me at some point, so they might as well get a sneak peek.

And they're all going in my books, so the world will get their very own sneak peek at these men, and what they're like between the sheets.

And on sofas. And the kitchen floor. And wherever else they'll have me.

Somewhere beside me, a phone starts beeping. Not just one, but several. An incessant noise that isn't immediately stopped.

Miles groans beneath me, but it's not a thank goodness this is finally happening type of groan, it's an I'm being interrupted and I don't like it one.

This is made all the more clear when his head drops back against the top of the sofa and he doesn't let me follow.

Even though I really want to keep kissing him.

Who knew making out with a guy could be so much fun?

The sudden silence of the room when the phone alarms stop going off is almost deafening. I look around and see that every guy is holding their phone—not to film my scandalous antics with their friend, but to check the time.

"It's time to boot up," says Lionel. "Get your blood back in your brain."

They all stand except for Miles, who is still wedged between my legs and beneath me. I'm so confused. My brain is a haze of horniness.

"Can't I at least come real quick? Just so I can think straight?" Miles's hands land on my thighs, keeping us both in place.

Not that I want to move at the moment. The "real quick" part doesn't sound great, but right now I'll take anything I can get. My body wants more. More of everything that Miles could give me right now.

Helix checks his phone. "Looks like the other team is already logged in. We can't keep them waiting."

"Fine." Miles throws his head back again in disappointment for a moment before tapping his hands to my thighs twice and lifting me off his lap. "Don't touch yourself. We're going to finish off these guys quick, then I want us to finish together."

"Bummer for you, man," says Lionel to Miles as they file upstairs. "Clarissa's real good, and you're missing out."

"Fuck you," grumbles Miles.

Left in a heap on the sofa where Miles dropped me, I watch them disappear from view, leaving me in the basement. I can't believe Miles was able to so easily lift me off him, and I really can't believe that I was the one voting for him to not go to work so I can get off.

And what's with his comment about not touching myself? He can't be serious. That's not a rule I'm about to agree to, now or ever.

Although I never would have thought that was something I wouldn't easily be able to adhere to.

I've never considered myself particularly sexual, but ever since sleeping with Ethan and especially since giving Lionel that blow job, I've been turning to my vibrator daily.

Never would I have thought that toy would become one of my favorite possessions, almost rivaling my computer.

I wait until I'm certain my roommates are shut away in their computer room before rolling off the sofa and heading up to my room. I'm no longer tipsy now so much as high on the combo of wine and good feedback. And horniness.

My body is still humming with pent-up sexual frustration, and my vibrator is just sitting in my bedside table. Miles would never need to know, and I don't have to obey him in everything.

Glancing at my closed door, I pull out my pink battery-powered friend. No, none of my roommates are going to walk in . They're all working, and while I don't know how long their games take, I'm fairly certain they can't be this quick.

I change into my pajamas and climb into my bed, a soft buzzing fills the room before I slip the toy beneath the blankets.

The vibration is soft and fluttery, but I move it in the same rhythm Miles had been moving beneath me on the sofa.

I pretend the toy is his cock, teasing me through my leggings.

I imagine him peeling them off me until I'm completely bared to him.

Helping me back onto his lap so I straddle his naked thighs, his cock hitting against my bare pussy even better than it was through our clothes.

I'd look to my left and Quintin would be right there, sitting beside us fully dressed, admiring the way Miles and I tease each other.

We'd be teasing Quintin too, letting him watch but not touch.

If I were to turn to look around, all of my roommates would be watching the way my legs are splayed on either side of Miles's thighs.

"Let them watch and be jealous," Miles would say. Then he'd notch the head of his cock at my entrance before guiding my hips down, watching me slowly be impaled by his cock.

I up the power of my toy's vibration as I imagine Miles filling me.

So many eyes on us. Would they line up, waiting their turn to be next?

Would I rotate through being fucked by them each individually, continually arousing the others around us until they all needed a second turn to stick their dick inside me?

Or would they all demand attention all at once?

Could I handle it? Do I want them to use my body for their pleasure until we're all exhausted and unable to move?

"Yes!" I cry out as the vibration directly on my clit becomes almost too much and throws me over the edge. My hips buck automatically, riding the waves of pleasure, and I wish Miles's cock was really driving in and out of my fluttering pussy as the orgasm rushes through my limbs.

Everything is fuzzy and pleasant now that I've come.

My hands barely have enough strength to keep hold of the vibrator, so I let it fall to the side.

I should get up and jot down a few notes, but the slight buzz from drinking and the haze from that orgasm is too much. I'll never be able to pick up a pen.