Page 38 of Breakout (Walker University #3)

twenty-nine

M y heart is breaking as I watch the emotions flash over Beckett’s face. It seems no matter what I do, I keep doing the wrong thing.

He should find someone better. Someone who won’t taint his image and ruin his career. I want to be with him, but no matter how selfish I want to be, I won’t ruin his life.

I’ve handled pain like this before, and I can do it again. He will be better off without me.

“Is that what you really want?” he finally says, anger clear on his face.

No. I want you.

The words are there on the tip of my tongue, but I can’t say them.

So I say nothing.

Today is supposed to be joyous. I won the case, but I can’t find joy when I’m losing yet another person I care about.

I won, but at what cost?

“I wish you’d open your eyes and see what is right in front of you,” he finally says, turning to take off down the street.

My feet follow him, unable to let him go even though I should.

“Beckett. Please, Beckett, wait,” I call out.

He either doesn’t hear me or pretends not to. I keep on his trail following him until he stops outside of the little diner he proposed at. Where it all began.

“The day I proposed to you here was the best day of my life. I was finally going after something I wanted. My family wasn’t involved. I didn’t have to answer to anyone. I did what I wanted for once.”

“Beckett, I’m sorry…”

He cuts me off. “I don’t want to hear it, Peyton.

The day I met you, I knew that you were something special.

I wanted to get closer to you. Then you let me in, but only on your terms, and I thought, why not?

I’ll take whatever she’s willing to give.

Then you agreed to marry me, and I hoped like fucking hell it meant that you might be feeling even a sliver of what I feel for you, but you don’t.

The shittiest thing about it all is I did this to myself.

You’ve told me over and over that you don’t do relationships.

That the rules are there for a purpose. I should have believed you. ”

“The rules were there to protect me, Beck. My heart. So I never had to suffer like I did with my parents. I know I’m not good enough for you. You’re going to wake up one day and realize that you settled for the first girl who made you feel something in college and missed out on your life.”

“How can you even say that? You don’t know how I feel, Peyton.”

“You have had a front seat to the family drama in my life. You see the people who share blood with me. How could you want that in your life?”

He lets out a deep sigh, moving toward me to cup my cheeks.

“Sometimes I just want to shake you. You aren’t the blood that runs through your veins.

You are your own person. You lived your entire life without that trash in it.

You made something of yourself with no help from anyone else.

You are better than them. Better than me.

If there’s anyone who doesn’t deserve the other in this relationship, it would be me. ”

“No…”

“No is right. You are wrong. I was so fucking lost before you walked into my life. I felt helpless. Stuck. My father had such a tight grip on me that I couldn’t see a way out.

I was suffocating. Then you walked into my life.

You showed me that I don’t need to rely on my family to have a good life.

I can make my own way without their money at my back.

Because of you, I stuck to the boundaries I want between my father and me.

He knows without a shadow of a doubt that I won’t work for his firm.

I want to play hockey, and then after that, who knows, but it will be what I want.

You did that for me. Seeing how strong and resilient you are showed me that I could be strong too. I only needed to take a leap.”

I’m shocked at his words. We never spoke of his family much. I always got the feeling he didn’t have a good relationship with them.

“I don’t know if I’ve ever said it, but I really hate your parents. How could they be so blind? You’re an amazing man, and you aren’t a puppet for them to control. Your father is a fool, and it just makes me so mad.” I urge him to believe me.

“See, that right there. You’re the best person I know, Peyton. Now you know how I feel when you talk down about yourself.”

He’s right. I know he’s right. I can’t undo all the trauma in my head, though. I don’t know if I will ever be able to get over it.

“I don’t know what to say to that. I can’t help who I am.

This is what I mean. You don’t deserve to have to deal with this.

We weren’t supposed to be real. You were supposed to go on with your life and be happy.

I’m trying to be selfless here, Beck. I want you to have the woman of your dreams. Someone the media won’t tear down at every chance they can. ”

“Fuck the media. I don’t give a fuck what they say, Peyton.

I don’t know if you realize this, but hockey isn’t the most important thing in my life anymore.

If they want to talk shit about you, I will defend you to my last breath.

I don’t give a fuck about all that. There’s only one thing important in my life now. ”

“What?”

“You.”

My heart stops.

Surely I didn’t hear him right, right?

It can’t be true. It feels too good to be true.

“What did you say?” I ask breathlessly.

“It’s you.” The words fall from my lips.

It’s true. She’s the only one for me. It will only be her.

“What are you saying, Beck? Spell it out for me because I need it to be clear.” She looks both desperate and hopeful.

“You’re it. My seven minutes.” My heart is thundering in my chest.

She looks confused. “What does that even mean?”

“I read once that after someone dies, their brain remains alive for a short period of time to replay all the happiest memories. It’s a coping thing or something. They estimate it happens for seven minutes. It’s you, Peyton. You’re my seven minutes.”

She gasps at my words. I don’t give her a chance to say anything, though, and I continue on.

“Before you, the only thing I had going for me was hockey. It was the only bit of my life that brought me any real joy, but I knew it was going to end as soon as I graduated. I was set to go to hell. Sure, my friends would offer me some distractions from real life, but nothing truly made me happy. Not until I met you. You changed my life, Peyton. Whether you believe it or not, you are it for me. Everyone gets their one great love, and for me, it’s you. ”

Dropping to my knee, I pull out the ring that has been in my pocket for weeks, waiting for the right time to ask her to make this real.

“Peyton Marie Anderson, we are already married in the eyes of the court, but I want you to change your last name and become my wife for real. For God and everyone to see. I don’t want to hide the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

I want to scream it from the mountaintops.

What do you say? Will you be my wife still? ”

She’s sobbing as she manages, “I don’t know what to say.”

I want to tell her to say yes. Simply give me what I want, but that wouldn’t be right. So instead, I tell her what is best for her as I always do.

“Say whatever you feel in your heart. If it’s not me, then I’ll get up and sign the papers without question as soon as you’re ready for it. I won’t make this difficult for you. I only want you to be happy. If it’s without me, then so be it.”

My own throat is growing itchy as my eyes water at the thought of losing her. It would kill me.

She reaches her hand out, cupping my cheek as I continue to hold out the ring.

I let my eyes fall closed. If this is the last touch I ever get, I want to savor it.

Then she says the one word that could make my world stop.

“Yes.”

My eyes open, staring into her beautiful hazel eyes.“Yes?” I repeat quietly.

“Yes. Beckett, of course I will marry you. As if there could be any other answer.”

Slipping the ring on her finger, I wrap my arms around her center and pull her down onto my bent knee as I kiss her.

Applause rings out around us, but I don’t care. Everyone else can get fucked.

I finally have my woman.

Mine.

The word has echoed in my head for months now, but it’s finally a reality. She is mine.

“I don’t know if I can stop thinking I’m not good enough for you, but I promise I won’t try to break up with you again.

I remember my mom and dad fighting once, and Mom went to the bedroom.

Dad sat down with me and told me not to worry.

They would work it out because they loved each other, and when you are in love, you do whatever it takes to fix all the little things that happen along the way.

I didn’t understand it then, but I do now.

I love you, Beckett Hayes. I want nothing more than to take your last name and fix all the little things that happen for the rest of our lives. ”

I pull her in, kissing her hard. “I love you, Peyton Hayes. I love you so fucking much it makes my heart hurt sometimes. Every time I think I love you the most I can, I find a little spot to love you more. You own me. My heart. My soul. My everything.”

She leans up, taking my lips in hers as she kisses me over and over again. Everything falls away as I hold her in my arms, kissing the life out of her. When we finally pull apart, I grab her hand, rubbing my finger over her ring finger where my ring now shines.

“You’ve always done that. Why?” she asks.

“I always wanted my ring there. The proof that you are mine for the rest of the world to see. I knew you wouldn’t accept it back then, but I always hoped. I bought this the day after we got married. I kept it on me, hoping you would give me a sign that you were ready for it.”

“You thought that time was now?”

“Not at all. This was my last chance. The last breakaway of the game. My last offensive attack to win the game. I didn’t expect you to say yes. I thought I lost you for good, but I had to try.”

She grabs my collar, pulling me down to her face.

“I couldn’t leave you. I thought I was doing what was best for you, but I wouldn’t have been able to leave you.

You found a way to get under my skin until I needed you more than anything else in my life.

I love you. I won’t ever leave you. Please don’t leave me. ”

I kiss her deeply. “Never.”

She smiles up at me. “Can we get a milkshake now?”

I shake my head, laughing. “Anything you want, wife.”

With that, I walk her into the diner that has become such an important part of our story. In fifty years, we will be sitting in this same place reminiscing on how it all began with a fake marriage and an inheritance.

Life works in mysterious ways, but fuck, am I glad it gave me her.

Peyton Hayes.

My wife.