Page 18 of Breakout (Walker University #3)

thirteen

I might regret it, but I took the night off of work again. I’ve been doing it more and more. I find myself taking fewer shifts and spending more time with my husband. The same one who is supposed to be fake, but that I’m starting to feel real big feelings for.

Tonight is a special night, though. It’s the first game of the Frozen Four.

The guys have been practicing their asses off for it.

The entire team wants to win this for Clay since it’s his last year as captain before he graduates.

Beckett even said there are going to be scouts there from PHL teams looking to draft him and Clay along with a few of the other players.

I have to be there for him. It’s the least I can do since he has shown up for me over and over again. Even when I’m a bitch and try to remind him that this is all fake, he doesn’t waver.

I hate to admit it, but he’s slowly changing my mindset. He’s reminding me of what it’s like to have people to depend on. I haven’t truly had that since I was a child. Or maybe I have with the girls, but I never allowed myself to accept it.

Stepping into my room, I’m surprised to find Cora there, picking up the room.

“Gosh, I’m sorry I make you live like this. I swear I’m not always a slob,” she says in lieu of a greeting.

“Girl, it’s no big deal. If something bothers me, I just push it on your side of the room and pretend it doesn’t exist.”

“Oh, I bet that’s how some of your discarded items ended up over here?” she teases, holding up the empty condom wrapper.

My face turns red. “Um. No comment?”

“Hey, none needed. I’m glad you are getting laid. You deserve to have a little fun.” She wiggles her eyebrows.

“I got the memo from you and Grace. I’m not even going to work tonight. See, I am having fun.”

“Ooh. What are you doing instead? Going out with the mystery guy? Or is it multiple? No shame, girl. Get you some.”

I roll my eyes at her. “I’m not that exciting.”

You’re the most exciting thing that’s happened to me.

His voice filters into my head unbidden. It has me fighting a smile on my face.

“Then what are your big plans?” She folds a sweater, setting it on her makeshift dresser.

“The hockey game.”

“Ooh. You got a ticket? When? Why didn’t you tell me? We could have gotten tickets together.”

She picks up my ChapStick that somehow ended up on the floor by her bed and shakes it.

“Top drawer, please,” I tell her as I pull my hockey jersey without a name on it out of the closet.

“I figured you had family tickets. Beckett gave me one of his. Said something about him stabbing his eye out if he allowed his father to use the tickets. He practically begged me to take one off his hands. Pathetic, really.”

The truth is Beckett always leaves the family tickets on my nightstand. He secretly wants me there, but I usually don’t go. He doesn’t even know I’m going tonight. He thinks I have to work.

She slides the drawer open.“That’s nice of him. Hey, what are these paper rings in your drawer?” she asks, holding one up.

My heart warms as I look at them. Beckett has taken to giving me one every time he sees me now. He says it’s because I won’t let him give me a real one. He doesn’t like seeing my finger bare knowing that I’m his.

I’m really starting to think he is enjoying this more than he should.

Yet, I don’t stop him. I take every single paper ring he slips on my finger and place them in my drawer.

I really need to get a memory box for them because even after this is all over and done with, I plan to keep them.

They are a memory of the happiest time of my life. The only ones I remember, at least.

“Oh, something I do when I’m bored.”

“They are interesting. Seems you are getting better with each one you make. Maybe you can sell them on the side one day.”

I let out a breath of relief when she shuts the drawer. “Yeah, maybe. Why are you cleaning up anyway? We need to leave soon if we are going to make it on time.”

She lets out a groan. “I know, but my jersey is missing. I swear it was on my bed, but I can’t find it. Then I started cleaning, and now here we are.”

I shake my head, walking over to my closet and pulling out her wrinkle-free jersey with Cooper written on the back.

“Oh my god. You are the best. Did you iron it for me?”

I nod. “Washed it too. It smelled weird.”

She hugs me. “You are awesome.”

She strips off her shirt, sliding the jersey on before going to the mirror and fixing her hair.

“You know you should get a jersey with Beckett’s name on the back. Since he gave you his tickets and all.”

My stomach clenches at the thought. I would love to, but I also know that I’m not ready to let the world know that we are together or whatever we are. Hell, I wish I could even define us.

We are married.

We have sex.

We go on dates.

We hang out with his friends and pretend we hate each other.

Yet, they all feel separate. Like it’s a different Peyton in each one of those scenarios. I wish I could smush them all together and become one, but I don’t know how.

Or I guess I’m too scared to.

I think the worst part about what happened with my parents is that I lost trust in the world. I lost trust in myself.

I never feel like I’m enough. Not only that, but I’m always waiting for the rug to be pulled out from under me.

“Nah. He would like that too much. Besides, I can’t really afford it. This one was my one and only splurge.”

“Well, maybe next time then.”

“Maybe.”

“I’m so happy you decided to come,” Grace tells me for the third time.

“Me too.”

“It was the best surprise,” Cora adds.

“Ooh, here come the boys,” Grace says, standing.

I stand with her, watching them skate out onto the ice.

This is the first time since we married that I’ve been to a game. It feels different somehow.

“There’s Kellan,” Cora says before yelling out his name.

He skates around the ice, coming to a stop before us. He points at Cora and taps his heart twice. She blows him a kiss, making him smile before skating off.

Clay comes next. He does the same thing as Kellan, only he mouths “I love you” to Grace, waiting for her to do it back before he skates off.

Then Brett comes out. He waves wildly at us, pumping the crowd up.

Wyatt is next, looking all broody as normal. It’s got to be a goalie thing because I’ve never seen one who didn’t look like he was attending a funeral. Wyatt does look over at us, though, waving when he sees we are looking.

I let out a sigh without realizing it when I see Beckett. He looks sexy as hell in his uniform. I know he is wearing all kinds of gear, but there’s something so manly about the sport. It has my libido going.

I regret not getting his jersey. I think about the fun, sexy times we could have if I had one. Maybe he would let me borrow one of his.

Beckett skates around, coming to a stop beside Wyatt. Wyatt says something to him before he turns suddenly, his eyes locking on me. He looks shocked, so I give him a little shrug.

He twirls his finger, indicating I should turn. My heart hurts when I realize why.

He wants to see his name on my back. It’s not there, though.

I shake my head no, making him give me a stern look and do it again.

“I think he wants to see whose jersey you are wearing,” Cora says to me.

Holding my hair up, I turn and show him the same blank jersey as always. When I turn back, he looks mad.

I should have listened to Cora and got the jersey. The money doesn’t matter. Not in the grand scheme of things.

He points to the side one time and then skates off the ice.

Grace and Peyton look at me in shock.

“Why is he so upset?” Grace asks.

“He gave her his family ticket. Maybe he was hoping she would wear his?” Cora guesses.

I don’t answer either of them. Instead, I say, “I’ll be right back.” Then I hustle out of the seats and down to where the players’ locker room is.

“Ma’am, you can’t be back here,” a security guard says.

“I, um.” I’m not even sure what to say right now.

“It’s okay, Ronnie. She’s with me,” Beckett says, walking over to us, still in his skates with the blade guards on them.

“Coach won’t be happy,” Ronnie tells him.

“I’ll handle it. Thanks, man.”

Beckett grabs my hand, leading me into the locker room. Thankfully, it’s empty at the moment.

“Why aren’t you in my jersey?” he growls, pushing me against the wall.

I tell him the same lie I told Cora. “It costs money.”

His anger fades as he nods. “Take it off.”

“What?”

“You heard me.”

His hands reach down to the hem of my jersey as he peels it off, leaving me in my bra.

“I want you in my name,” he says.

“Okay. I’ll go get your jersey from the store right now,” I tell him as he gives me his back, taking my jersey to a locker.

He opens it, tossing my jersey inside before pulling another one out. Shutting the locker, he walks over to me. “Put it on.”

I take the jersey from his hand, pulling it over my head. Once it’s in place, I pull my hair out of the neck of it.

Then I look at him.

He does the little circle with his finger again. This time, I do it without question, holding my hair up.

When my back is to him, he steps into me, his lips hitting the bare side of my neck.

“My name looks so fucking sexy on your back. If I didn’t have a game to play, I would fuck the shit out of you right now.”

I moan, arching my neck as he continues to pepper kisses up and down my neck. His hand slips up, underneath the jersey, until he reaches my breast. Then he pinches my nipple, making my ass press back into him.

“I wish I wasn’t wearing all of this shit so I could feel your body against mine.”

He spins me, pinning me to the door as he presses his lips against mine. “Wear this later. I’m coming over tonight, and I’m going to fuck my wife while she wears our last name.”

I’m panting at this point, my body aching for his touch. I’ve never needed someone as much as I need him.

A knock on the door startles me.

“Coach asked for you,” Ronnie calls through the door.