Page 30 of Breakout (Walker University #3)

twenty-three

I have never taken so much time off of work before, yet here I am once again taking several days off to support Beckett.

It’s funny how things change. If you had asked me three months ago, I would have told you I wouldn’t call out of work even if I was half dead. Now I find myself doing it without a second thought. I’ve even already put in for time off for Beckett’s graduation and the draft day.

I’m a sucker for Beckett Hayes.

I don’t think I even care if anyone knows it anymore.

We are back once again at the Boston Foxes’ arena for the championship game between the Walker Wolves and the Kensington Penguins. Both teams have had amazing seasons and deserve to be here. Each one would be worthy of the title, but I only want one team to win.

I want Beckett to leave college on a high with one last win under his belt. One last celebration with the team.

“You are chipper today. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you move with a pep in your step,” Cora jokes as I practically skip up the steps.

“It’s a good day. The guys are going to win. I can feel it in my bones. Hey, can you draw Beck’s number on me again?” I ask.

“Beck, huh?”

Smiling to myself, I nod. “Yeah. Beck.”

“Sure thing. As soon as we get to our seats.”

“I’m so nervous,” Grace admits, her arm hooked with Cora’s.

“Why?” I ask.

“I heard Brantley Gibson is here. He’s the owner of the Boston Foxes. He’s scouting to rebuild his team. I really want him to draft Clay. I will be happy wherever he goes, but if he were drafted here, I wouldn’t have to be without him. Selfish, I know,” she admits.

“Hey, it’s okay to be selfish,” Cora tells her.

“I don’t understand why society believes we should always be so selfless and give up everything for everyone else all the time.

I’m not saying you should be a selfish being who only thinks of yourself, but it’s okay to want things that will make your life better.

It’s okay to be a little selfish sometimes.

I will fully admit that when Kellan gets drafted, I hope he goes somewhere I can find a job as fulfilling as the one I have now.

I don’t want to give up what I’m building, but I will for him.

I only hope that I can be selfish and have my cake and eat it too. ”

“Did you just get on your soapbox?” Grace teases.

“Fuck yeah, I did. Don’t ever feel bad for praying for something a little selfish. It would be better for you, but it would also be better for him. He loves you, and I know it would kill him to be away from you. Hell, he stayed in school partially because of you.”

“You’re not making this any better. I already feel guilty enough.”

“You shouldn’t. Clay only does what he wants to do. We all know that. Peyton, don’t you have anything to say?” she says as we make it to our seats.

“I understand where Grace is coming from. I’ve lived my entire life only depending on myself.

I have always made selfish decisions because I have had no one else to rely on.

Since I met all of you, I have had to figure out the balance between making decisions for myself and thinking of others. It hasn’t always been easy.”

“Damn. That’s depressing. I’m sorry you had to deal with that. That you have been so alone. You have us now,” Grace says.

“Yeah. You are stuck like glue, Peyton dear. You can’t ever get rid of us,” Cora adds.

My eyes start to tear up. “I know that now. Thank you, guys.”

“Here. Let’s get that boy’s number on you.” Cora pulls out her eyeliner, painting Beckett’s number on me.

“Peyton, I know you prefer to keep things to yourself, but you have to tell us. It’s been driving us insane. What is going on with you and Beckett?” Grace asks.

“We are married.”

It pops out without my permission.

Thankfully, they both laugh.

“Yeah right.” Cora pushes my shoulder. “Good one.”

Grace is practically in tears.

“Hey, it’s not that unthinkable,” I defend, starting to feel offended.

“I’m sorry, Pey. It’s not that we don’t think he would marry you. I think the man has been in love with you since the moment he laid his eyes on you. You’re just so closed off that I can’t imagine you lowering your walls for any man enough to let him in,” Cora says.

“We don’t mean to hurt your feelings. We love you as you are. It would just shock us if you married someone out of the blue like that. Especially since you can’t even admit you like the guy most of the time.”

They aren’t wrong. It does make me feel like shit, though. Is this what it’s like for Beckett? Does he feel the same way about me?

“I like him,” I admit softly. “More than I should. I don’t know what to do with that, though.

I have so much baggage. How long would he stick around once he realizes how much is weighing me down?

I’ll never be the peppy girl, always happy and in love.

I’ll always question what we have because I’ve never had anything in my life stick.

I lost my parents so young that it irrevocably changed my life.

I’m not sure I will ever be able to love someone the way they deserve. ”

Grace moves to one side of me while Cora wraps her arm around me.

“Of course you will. It will take time, but when you find the right one, you will start to work through your issues. They will teach you things about yourself that you never knew. They will heal you,” Cora says.

“Yeah, they will help you find yourself, and together you will be stronger. Better. They will love all your insecurities away until you can’t even remember that you had them.”

“Love will heal you.”

“It sure will.”

I look at each of them, realizing that what they are saying is true.

Beckett has already started this process with me. He shows up even when I don’t want him to. He always tells me how valued I am with both his words and his actions. He never makes me feel unwanted.

Ever since we met, he has taken his time and the effort to tell me that he thinks the world of me without ever saying the words.

I went from being independent and not needing anyone to not being able to imagine my life without him.

I’m in love with Beckett Hayes.

It hits me like a freight train.

I’m in love with him, and it scares me to death.

“Oh, here they come.” Cora stands up, yelling Kellan’s name as if he can hear her. Grace claps, looking for Clay.

I stand right alongside them, but I’m frozen.

I’m in love with Beckett Hayes.

It’s the only thing in my head.

Then I see him. He skates out onto the ice, his eyes already on the stands. When he sees me, he taps his finger like our own little code.

It’s like he’s saying, “You’re my wife.”

His way of showing me that he cares for me. That he wants me.

That he loves me.

Swallowing hard, I hold my hand up and do the same.

When he skates off to warm up, I fall into my seat.

Holy fuck. I am in love with my husband.

We. Just. Won.

The crowd is going crazy as the guys all skate to the middle of the ice, hugging one another.

We just fucking won.

It was a knockdown, drag-out fight, but we won. It came down to the very last minute, Clay getting the score to put us on top.

I’m so fucking happy. This is the best end to my senior year. It’s another sign that I’m making the right choice.

I’m not ready to give up hockey yet. Especially not for my father’s business.

Looking up into the crowd, I spot her right away. It’s the first thing I do every time I skate onto the ice. I look for the most important person in my life.

My wife.

She is crying as the girls hold each other, watching us. I blow Peyton a kiss, not giving a fuck what it looks like. She pretends to catch it, holding it to her heart.

We have made so much progress.

I said it before, but I will say it again. Marrying Peyton was the best decision of my life. It set so much in motion that I hadn’t considered. Like how easy it was for me to give up everything my family has been planning for me and go for what I want.

I would have never done that before Peyton. I had such a fear of letting my father down, but when she became my priority, none of that mattered anymore.

She’s all that matters.

I continue to celebrate with the guys until it’s time to be presented the championship trophy. We all cheer and pose with it, kissing it and hugging it. It’s ridiculous, but the high from the win has us acting like fools.

The smile never leaves my face.

Not through the after-game interviews.

Not when we are introduced to Brantley fucking Gibson, owner of the Boston Foxes.

Not through the champagne shower in the locker room.

Not once.

After taking a real shower, I stride out into the hall on cloud nine.Peyton is waiting there with Grace and Cora. I don’t even stop my momentum as I pick Peyton up, wrapping my arms around her as I walk her backward until her back is against the wall.

“You look fucking amazing with my name on your back. I’m going to fuck you in that jersey later.”

She giggles, kissing my cheek as I lower her to the ground.

Turning, I open my arms for Grace, who walks into them willingly.

“Congratulations, Beckett. You played great,” she tells me.

“Your man won the game for us, though. You better give him something good later.”

Her cheeks redden as she nods.

Cora steps up next. “That’s my brother you are talking about. So gross.”

I hug her back. “Kellan didn’t do half bad either, so ya know, you do your thing too.”

“Who is going to do the same for you?” She quirks an eyebrow, looking at Peyton.

I shrug. “The night is young. Only time will tell.”

Brett comes out, interrupting us as he grabs Grace, making her squeal.

“We won. Can you believe it? We are partying down at the hotel bar. Mr. Gibson asked them to keep it open late for us. I guess he’s friends with the owner,” Brett says.

“That’s awesome,” Cora says. “I’m down for some dancing.”

“Me too,” Peyton says, stepping up into my side.

I don’t miss the way she lets her hand brush mine. I want so badly to grab it. Does she want the same thing?