Page 16 of Breakout (Walker University #3)

twelve

B uzz. Buzz. Buzz.

Groaning, I roll over and blindly reach for my phone. With one eye open, I ignore all the notifications that came in while I was sleeping and open the one that woke me.

Beck

Hey wife, want to grab breakfast with me?

Wife.

Bastard knows what that word does to me.

Me

Depends, are you driving and buying?

Beck

Is that a yes?

Sighing, I contemplate if I want to go or not. I do, not just because I’m hungry but because I like spending time with him, but at the same time I know we are getting in too deep.

I’m getting in too deep.

That couldn’t have been more evident when I woke up in his arms the other morning. I put the rules in place for my own sake, but it seems they have flown out the window.

I married him.

This shit really is getting complicated between us.

Despite knowing I should say no and tell him I have plans, I don’t.

Me

Yes.

Beck

See you in fifteen, wife.

I roll out of bed and quickly get ready. Thankfully I took a shower last night before going to bed.After slipping on leggings and a Walker U sweatshirt, I put my hair up in a messy bun on top of my head.

This is as good as it’s going to get for now.

I grab my phone, keys, and wallet and head out the door. Everyone is either still sleeping or in morning class, so the dorm hall is quiet. When I step outside, I tip my head back and let the sun hit my face.

Spring is well on its way, and I couldn’t be more ready. That just means a couple more months of school before summer break.

Holy shit.

If this inheritance thing is all cleared up before this summer, then I might not have to work two other jobs on top of my waitressing one to save up for my fall semester.

I could potentially be able to have a low-key summer and only work one job without worry.

I could hang out with Grace and Cora and go on trips and shit with them.

I could be a normal college girl for once.

The hope fills me at the thought.

A beep from a car horn pulls me out of my thoughts, and I look up and see Beck getting out of his car.

“Morning,” he says as I approach.

“Morning.”

He leans down and kisses me quickly as he opens the car door for me.I should push him away, but I lean into the kiss. I’m desperate for it. When did I come to ache for his touch? How did he slip past my defenses so easily?

He pulls away, and I want to chase him. I don’t, though.

I slide into the passenger seat and put my seat belt on.

He shuts the door and runs around the front of the car.

I know I should scold him for kissing me out in the open but don’t.

He knows the risk, and so do I, but I didn’t stop him. I wanted it.

“How are you?” he asks when he starts driving.

“Good, you?” I ask out of habit.

“I’d be better if I could see you more.” He shoots me a wink before looking back at the road.

I roll my eyes, but I feel my cheeks heat.

“You see me almost every night. Is this your way of complaining we don’t have enough sex?” I joke.

He shoots me a pointed look before looking back at the road. “As much as I love having you naked, that’s not what I meant, and you know it. Whether you want to admit it or not, our relationship is about more than just the physical shit.”

“Is it, though?” I ask as I begin to fiddle with the hem of my shirt.

This.

This is what I wanted to avoid. I feel like he wants more than I know how to give, and I have no idea what to do about it. If I give in, will I end up with my heart broken?

We both fall silent as he drives. I realize as he parks that he’s brought me to the same diner he proposed in. It seems to have become our place.

My heart is pounding in my chest as I realize this place has come to mean something to me. I feel like I’m planting roots, and it scares the hell out of me. I’ve never done this before. I’ve never wanted to.

Without saying a word, he leads me into the diner. He speaks with the hostess until we are sliding into the same booth we’ve sat in before.

I look at the menu, but I can’t see the words. I want to know what he is thinking. Glancing up, I see him fiddling with a straw that was at the end of the table.

Another minute, and the silence becomes too much. I’m seconds away from sneaking out the back door to escape the anxiety when he reaches over and grabs my hand.

“You’re my wife, Peyton. You can’t blame me for wanting to spend as much time with you as possible,” he says as he slips another paper ring onto my finger.

I look down at the paper ring, my eyes tearing up. It hadn’t even dawned on me what he was doing. He gently runs his finger over the ring as he waits for me to answer him.

“No, I guess I can’t,” I say softly.

This man is stealing little pieces of me without even trying. What am I going to do when he decides he doesn’t want them anymore? There’s no way a man with the future he has waiting for him would settle for the little poor foster girl with nothing going for her.

His hand squeezes mine. “Is there anything you want to know, wife? I’ll tell you anything.”

“Are you ever going to call me by my name again when it’s just the two of us?” It slips out of my lips without even thinking about it.

He chuckles. “Probably not. Have you heard from the lawyer?”

I shake my head. “No, I should probably call and check in, though, huh?”

“Might be smart.”

Silence descends over the table. I have no idea what to say. Part of me wants to ask him questions, but the other part knows that would only dig the hole deeper.

Do I follow my heart or my mind?

Before I have to make a choice, the server comes over to take our orders. Once she leaves, I decide to keep it light.

“What about you? Anything new?”

“Just spending all my time with you or at the rink. You know how it is.”

“We’re pretty boring,” I tease, making him laugh.

“Nah, we’re not boring. We just have our priorities straight.” He reaches across the table again, taking my hands.

I love the way he wants to touch me all the time. It’s scary to admit, but I want all the PDA he will give, even if it ruins the illusion we are letting everyone believe.

Clearing my throat, I ask, “Have you heard from your parents?”

His hand jerks in mine, but he doesn’t pull away. “No, now that you mention it, though, that alone is enough for concern.”

“What makes you say that?” I ask.

I know he mentioned that marrying me would help with his parents, but I never quite asked what he meant by that. Now I am dying to know.

“Because that means they are up to something, and I just don’t know it yet.”

“Do they know?”

Have you told them about us?

I don’t know why, but I want them to know.

“No, I will soon, though. As fucked up as it is, I try to avoid interacting with them first and make them come to me. It’s better that way.”

Sadness fills me. I didn’t have a choice with my parents, and here he is avoiding his. I think it’s better that mine are dead. I wonder how much pain it causes him to know that his parents are alive, but he can’t stand to be around them.

“Not everyone can have a kick-ass parent like Clay and Cora,” I muse.

Beckett chuckles. “Yeah, no one is like Ms. James. I’m pretty sure Brett is half in love with the woman. Well, with her cooking at least.”

“Speaking of Brett, how’s he doing with everything? Last time I tried to ask, he shut down completely.”

Before the season started, Brett got hurt badly enough where they gave him a medical redshirt for the year.

That means he won’t get to play this season with the boys, but he won’t completely miss out and will still get to play four years’ worth of college hockey when he completes his senior season next year.

It has to be hard to watch his friends play knowing that he already had his last game with them.

It reminds you that anything can end at the drop of a hat.

Makes you want to appreciate what you have when you have it.

“He’s going through something, he just won’t say what.” Beckett’s eyes fill with worry. “I am trying to be there for him, but I also want to be here for you. It’s been tough.”

“Hey, he will talk to you when he’s ready, okay? Don’t worry too much. He knows that if he needs you that you will be there. I’ll understand when that day comes. You don’t have to choose between me and him.”

I watch as some of the stress melts off his face. I wonder how long he has felt that way. I hate that it had anything to do with me.

“You’re probably right, but still. It’s hard. We had plans and…”

“And plans change. It sucks, but that’s life.”

I know from experience. I went from being a happy, loved little girl to a sad orphan in a matter of hours. You can’t dwell on what could have been, though. You have to push forward and focus on the future.

“I’m just hoping that life will start to be a little kinder to him, is all. He’s a great guy. I wish it had happened to me instead.”

“Don’t say that. I’m sure he wouldn’t want that. Things will get better for him. He has a great group of friends and a bright future.”

More than I ever had. I made it with nothing but my own determination. Brett already has a leg up. He only needs to rely on those closest to him. Honestly, I’m envious of him. I wish I had that.

You kind of do now.

The thought filters into my head, but I brush it off. I can give all the advice in the world, but I’m the worst at taking it myself. I’ve been alone so long I have no idea how to rely on another person.

Beckett takes a deep breath and shifts in his seat. “Speaking of us…there’s something I want to talk to you about.”

“What’s up?”

He goes to say something but is cut off by the server.

“Sorry about the wait, here’s your food. Do you need anything else?” she asks.

“Nope. We are good,” I tell her, turning back to Beckett.

“What were you going to say?” I ask as soon as she walks away.

He shakes his head. “Don’t worry about it. It was nothing.”