Page 61 of Born into Mayhem

I bark out a harsh laugh. “Jesus Christ, Bianca, we were fifteen, and calling it chaste would be spicing it up.”

Sandro leans in to add, “I’ve seen him kiss his wife. Chaste is not a word I’d ever use to describe it. Those two should come with a mature content warning.”

Bianca isn’t thrilled with the news, especially when I can’t help but smile at the thought of kissing Mia and the way she always fights me for dominance.

My brother and I turn away, leaving Bianca pissed off and standing on the steps while my brother yells a cheery, “See you at the party,” to her.

He’s still laughing about it when we get into my car and drive off.

“I kind of hope she still says something to Mia,” he admits, “because watching Mia kick her ass would be awesome.”

“Mia can’t kick her ass,” I remind him. “She’s not a trainedfighter, remember? Just a docile wife, eighteen and clueless about the dangers around her.”

“Yeah, that’s her in a nutshell,” he says, making me grin as I speed around a corner and head towards the closest town. When I pass the turnoff to get back home, he looks over and asks, “Where are we going?”

“We need to stop at the store.”

“Why? One of the guys can grab anything you need.”

I hesitate, not wanting to tell him, but knowing I have no choice, I finally say, “I need you to buy me some condoms.”

By the time he stops laughing, I’m pulling into a parking spot near the front of the small shop.

“Are you too embarrassed to get them? God, that’s funny.”

Turning to him, I ignore the obvious glee that’s written all over his face and say, “I can’t go in there and buy them because if I do, the whole fucking town will know that I’m buying them.”

“Yeah, and then they’ll know you’re having sex. Best we keep that under wraps for sure.”

“You’re such a smartass,” I tell him. “They’ll wonder why I’m using condoms with my wife. You know how it is around here. They’ll become suspicious. As soon as you get married, you’re supposed to start making babies. Anything other than that is suspicious, and we don’t need rumors flying around about us right now.”

“Fine,” he says, but he’s still grinning. “I usually get the big ones. You okay with that, or do I need to embarrass myself by buying the smaller ones? You’re my brother, so I’d do it, but it would be a massive blow to my pride.” He gives the building in front of us a wistful look. “Of course if Angela still works here, she’ll know it’s a lie.”

When he turns around and sees the look I’m giving him, he stops talking and instead laughs. “Married life was supposed to loosen you up. Fine, extra big condoms for the extra big dick.”

“Are you calling me a big dick or are you saying I have one?”

He grins and opens the door, leaving without giving me an answer.

“Jackass,”’ I mutter, but he’s impossible to stay mad at, especially when he’s doing me a favor. While he gets me the condoms I wish Ididn’t have to use, I check my phone to see if Mia’s texted. I’m not surprised when I see she hasn’t. She’s as independent as Bianca is clingy. There is a text from Tony, though, and when I click on it, I can’t help but groan.

TONY:

I forgot to mention that oral sex should absolutely wait until at least six weeks, maybe even eight to ten. The human mouth is filthy.

I let out a harsh laugh at the memory of Mia biting me, but then a ridiculous sadness washes over me at knowing I won’t be able to bury my head between her legs for another few weeks.

ME:

You’re killing me, Tony.

TONY:

I could say the same thing about you right now. I’m going to forget we had this conversation.

ME:

That’s probably for the best.