Page 108 of Born into Mayhem

“You were incredibly brave,” he corrects, leaning into my touch. His dark eyes are filled with so much sadness when he begs, “But please,amore mio, don’t ever do that again. My life will never be more important than yours.”

Grabbing my hand, he presses it to his cheek, begging me with his eyes to make a promise that I will never be able to keep. Even in my groggy state, I can’t lie to him. I run my thumb over his stubbled cheek while he kisses the palm of my hand.

“Solntse moyo,” I whisper. Calling himmy sunin Russian brings a faint smile to my face. I’d been so adamant that I wouldn’t be like some obsessed, lovesick girl, but the truth is this man is everything to me, and I’ll jump in front of every blade and every gun that’s pointed in his direction because I’ll do anything to protect him and keep him safe.

“Please tell me that’s Russian forOf course, Dario. I’ll obey you in this one thing and keep myself safe for you.”

“Your optimism is adorable,” I say while I struggle against the exhaustion I’m feeling.

I feel his lips lightly brush mine in a gentle kiss that’s purely for the pleasure of being close to one another, reminding us both that we’re alive and safe.

“Ti amo, Mia. Rest, sweetheart. I’ll be here when you wake.”

I still have so many questions I want to ask, but nothing feels like it’s working as it should, and my brain can’t seem to find the words. Before I can actively think about trying to stay awake, I’m pulled into a deep, dreamless sleep.

The next time I open my eyes, I’m hit with a wave of pain, wincing before I’m even fully awake. Dario’s hands are immediately on me, gently grabbing my shoulders and keeping me in place so I can’t keep trying to sit up.

“Easy,amore. Don’t move, baby.”

When I still, he grabs a glass of water and puts the straw to my lips. The cool water soothes my parched throat and my irritation at not being able to freely move around. I drink all of it, not caring that I’m probably filling my pee bag again.

After he takes it from me, I pull back the blanket that’s covering my body, needing to see the damage that was done. I’d been too out of it last time to ask all the questions I had, but I’m more alert now, and I need to know if it looks as bad as it feels. Peeking under my gown, I look back at Dario and ask, “Why are my nipples taped?”

“I asked them to keep your piercings in,” he says, watching me with a cautious look on his face. He takes the seat by the bed and leans his elbows on the mattress next to me while resting his hand on my arm. His thumb caresses my skin and then gently moves my hand away when I start to bring it to the large bandage that covers my entire lower belly.

“Thanks for that,” I tell him.

He kisses my hand. “I knew you would want to keep them, and I didn’t want you to have to go through the pain of having it redone.”

I study his face, noticing the worry that still fills his eyes and the tense way he’s holding his jaw. Something is off, and I don’t know what it is.

“What aren’t you telling me? I remember seeing Sasha earlier, so I know he’s fine, but I haven’t seen Sandro. Is he?”

I can’t get the words out, and Dario quickly stops me before I can force the question through my dry lips.

“Sandro’s fine,amore. Everyone is safe.”

“What aren’t you telling me?”

His dark eyes stay locked on mine when he very slowly says, “The doctor was able to save you,amore, but there was a lot of damage.”

“How bad?” I force myself to ask, even though a part of me already knows what he’s going to say.

“Bad,” he whispers, cupping my hand in his.

The pain in his eyes is what breaks my heart when I ask, “I can’t have kids, can I?”

“No,amore.”

Before I can say anything, he kisses my hand and says, “This changesnothing, Mia. Do you hear me? I still love you more than life itself, and I still need you more than I need my next breath. We’re getting married, and you’re going to let me love you and take care of you for the rest of our lives.”

“You want kids,” I say, and he shakes his head.

“I wantyou.”

“It’s not fair,” I whisper, and I don’t know if I’m talking about me or him. It all feels like too much. I always said I didn’t want kids. I was never like Nat. I didn’t sit around dreaming of being a wife and mom, but then I fell in love with Dario, and he made me rethink marriage. He didn’t make it seem like the cage I’d always thought of it as, and it’s possible that one day he would’ve also changed my mind about having kids, but now that choice is gone.

“No, it’s not,” he agrees. “It’s not fair that you lost something precious because of me.”