Page 46 of Bonding with the Beta (Fated Souls #2)

46

KAYLEIGH

A s I towel-dry my dripping wet hair, I stare out of Kayden’s window. The sun shines bright and prints pretty shapes of the trees onto the grass outside. I suck in a breath and allow my shoulders to drop an inch—or ten.

Things between us are okay. But I’ve got a long way to go with my own development.

A warm pair of lips leaves kisses along my shoulder blade. I shiver at the sensation of pure contentment and security. I turn to be met with Kayden’s dark eyes.

“What’s got you so deep in thought, hmm?”

“I suppose everything over the last week,” I admit.

“Will you tell me what happened?”

I furrow my brows at him.

“When I dropped you back off at campus, when you went for a walk, when you pushed me away.” He takes my hand softly. “I need to know what happened so I can try to understand and make sure that it never happens again. If I needed to do something differently.”

My lips purse, and I nod before removing the damp towel from my hair and placing it on the back of the door. I sit cross-legged on his bed, and he joins me a moment after.

“When I got back to my dorm room, there was a note on my floor,” I say as calmly as possible, despite Kayden tensing within seconds. “It was from Josh, saying we needed to talk. I got so angry knowing that he came back there, and I stupidly decided to confront him.”

Kayden shakes his head. “Please tell me you didn’t, Kayleigh.”

“Well…” I wrap my arms around my legs and sniffle. “You completely fucked up his face. He’s got stitches and might have scars for the rest of his life.”

His expression is unreadable, but his jaw flickers. “I should have done more.”

“You did enough,” I state.

“I could have killed him,” he murmurs, my heart panging strangely. “I should have killed him for touching you, for hurting you, for everything. What I did wasn’t enough.”

“He threatened to press charges against you.”

Kayden gapes at me. “He what?”

My chest aches, and I press my hand to the skin above my heart. “He said it would be my word against his and that no one would believe me after seeing my record with the hospital. That it’ll make me look obsessed and crazy, and if I said he tried to assault me, they’d think I was lying and doing it for attention.”

“Are you fucking kidding me right now?”

I shake my head slowly. “That’s why I deteriorated. I rang you because I needed something to calm me down. Then I scolded myself for doing it and got angry for not being able to deal with it by myself. He proved me right. I always need to rely on someone.”

He sighs with frustration, but not at me—at himself. “I’m your boyfriend. You should be able to call me without thinking you’re a burden. I’m meant to be your support system, so let me. That is literally what a relationship is, supporting each other.”

A ball grows in my throat, becoming impossible to swallow. “I’m starting to realise that now. I’ve never had that before. Any time I tried to talk to Josh about anything, he made me feel stupid and continuously invalidated my feelings.”

“Yeah. Well, I’m not Josh, Kayleigh, and you know it.”

“I know.” I smile sadly. “I know that more than anyone. I got defensive when you showed up because I didn’t know how else to react. I’m not used to someone actually caring, and it sounds so stupid, but I pushed you away because it didn’t feel right. You were right there after I called you once. We didn’t even speak, and I guess I never thought anyone could care for me like you do.”

Kayden scoots closer and gathers my hand in his lap. “I get that. You pushed me away because maybe you’re wary, wondering if my intentions are real. Josh messed with your head. He made you think so poorly of yourself, and I vow to change every last thought he made you believe.”

“That’s why I said I need to get therapy.” I nod with determination. “Because I can’t push all of this on you. I need to speak to someone who is going to be completely unbiased. I don’t want to put a strain on our relationship because I really, really want this, and I’m tired of sabotaging myself. I want to be happy.”

He kisses my knuckles tenderly, and butterflies are set loose in my stomach. “Okay. But I’m going to be with you every step of the way. I’ll never shut you out. Never.”

“Thank you,” I whisper.

“You should tell the university about what happened,” Kayden says.

“No,” I murmur. “Josh said he’d press charges against you.”

He shrugs. “Then let him.”

“What? No. I’m not doing that.”

“Kayleigh, he hurt you. Knowing that predator is still at your university makes me physically sick.”

I blink through the pressure in my eyes. “No one is going to believe me.”

“Do you have any evidence of your relationship on your phone?”

“Uh,” I pause. “Some texts and voicemails.”

“Anything you could use?”

“Maybe.” I nod. “I still need to think this through. Okay? I need more time.”

“Of course.” Kayden kisses my forehead. “I get it. Do you want to watch a movie and order some food in?”

I smile. “You know the way to my heart.”

“Blondie.” He smirks at me and tilts my chin an inch. “I already have it.”

My eyes roll teasingly, but he’s right.

“Also, I had no idea my girlfriend had a thing for ass-play.”

I gawk at him, and his chest vibrates from laughter. “You are too much.”

“What can I say?” He smirks. “I love having a freaky girlfriend.”

“Of course, you do,” I snort.

“So, tell me the story,” he states.

“Of?”

“Of how you got into ass-pla–”

“Okay, okay, okay,” I chant with a chuckle. “I get it.”

Kayden’s hand moves to the small of my back, and we both fall down onto the bed, facing each other. “I’ll tell you, but I don’t want you to judge me.”

He frowns heavily and tugs me closer. “I’d never judge you.”

“Well, when I was trying to get over Josh, I suppose I went through this phase of needing attention. It wasn’t healthy, and I’m not proud of it. But one night, I got quite drunk and ended up having a threesome…with two guys.”

Kayden’s eyes continue to widen, and he doesn’t even blink. “Damn.”

“See, you’re totally judging me right now.” I roll onto my back with a groan.

“I’m not judging you, I’m just—” Kayden pauses.

My brows raise. “What?”

“Jealous.”

I stare back at him, dumbfounded. “Jealous?”

“The thought of you being with anyone before me makes me jealous,” he replies calmly. “It sounds stupid, but two guys being with you at once makes me unbelievably bitter.”

I smack my thigh. “Well, damn, there goes my idea of inviting someone in for a threesome,” I tease.

Kayden tilts his head and pins me with a hard stare. “I swear, you better be fucking joking.”

“You can just buy me a dildo.” I grin.

“Are you sure you haven’t already got one with your collection of vibrators?” he challenges me.

“Okay, sassy pants. I’m proud of my sex toy collection.”

Kayden beams back at me with a lazy smirk. “Trust me, I am, too.”