Page 8

Blue

No lights were on in the house when we rode into the driveway. I pulled my bike along the side of the garage. My heart thundered as Kiss slipped the key into the lock and opened the side door. With just the light from the streetlamps, I followed her down the hall and into her room.

As soon as the door closed, I backed her against it and slid my mouth over hers. She kept her hands at her side, one holding her helmet, and the other curled into a fist. Without me having to explain, she understood what I needed from her. Yet, I’d fucked up. I’d left her alone and vulnerable. I rested my forehead against hers. “I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want this to be awkward between us. There’s nothing to be sorry about.”

I took her helmet from her fingers and set both mine and hers on the dresser along with the gun we’d taken off the loser in the bathroom. Tomorrow, I’d give it to Rogue. And I’d tell him about the trouble I still seemed to find.

But tonight, I just needed this girl. I took her hand and led her to the bathroom. She sat on the toilet while I turned on the water to warm .

“What happened?” I dampened a washcloth and carefully wiped the blood from her face.

“Jonesy and Hunter are former Crawlers.” She stared into my eyes as I gently washed her cheek. “I used to get high with them. Jonesy is Sam’s source for black. He said since he couldn’t find Sam to pay his debt, he’d take payment from me.”

She rubbed her hands on her thighs, but I could still see the trembling in her fingers.

“You gotta let me protect you.”

“You did.” She took the moist cloth from my hands and started wiping the blood from my knuckles. “When they approached me, I froze. I didn’t know how they’d react to me being with a Heller. They’d have the advantage.”

“Advantage is in here.” I tapped my temple.

“Not if they have guns. Jonesy is always carrying. And I knew how you’d react. You’re a fucking Heller, and Hellers like to fight.”

“This Heller doesn’t like to fight, but I’m going to protect you. Don’t tell me he didn’t hurt you when I can see the blood and bruises.”

“Once we were in the bathroom, he tried to get me to fuck him. When he went to kiss me, I bashed my face against his. It didn’t work. I missed his face, crushed my nose, cut my mouth on my teeth, and pissed him off. He shoved me against the wall, and then you came for me.”

I released a ragged exhale. “I should’ve fucking killed him.”

“Nah,” she said in a gritty biker voice. “We can’t have murder capping off our first date.”

“You can’t fucking joke about this.”

She lifted a brow. “I’m serious. Murder would mean involving the MC or involving the cops. Either one would ruin our night.” She combed her fingers through my bangs, pushing them off my face. “We had a bet, Blue, and I’ve wanted to get you into bed for months. Tonight is my chance.”

And just like that, her simple words turned me from pissed to petrified. Why the fuck had we made the bet? This was the last time I trusted Hana.

“Did you mean what you said?” she asked.

I shifted my gaze to hers.

“When you said I was yours?”

I took the washcloth from her hand and tossed it into the sink. “I meant it.” I stood from my squat and leaned against the counter.

Kiss bit her lip. I could see a question in her eyes. I didn’t have a fucking clue what the question would be or if I’d be able to give her an answer.

“I’m not blind, Blue. Since the night I walked into Indulgence, it’s been foreplay between us. I flirt, and you do, too. But you never make a move, so I do. And then I don’t see you for a couple of days. I promise not to give you come fuck me vibes, but then you start kissing me.” She rolled her eyes. “I even asked Jazzy if you were gay.”

Panic and a tremble started deep within me, vibrating out like a cataclysmic earthquake.

“Blue.” She jumped to her feet. Before she could reach me, I sidestepped away from her.

“Fuck.” She stilled. “Are you gay? I mean, it’s okay if you are. Or if you’re bi because I know you like me, too.”

I scrubbed a hand down my face. “What did Jazzy say?” I thought of the girls, of Dozer, Romeo, and the others. Did they sit around and hypothesize about my issues ?

“She said she didn’t know. I asked her if you fucked Bullet’s whores. I asked her if you fucked the sweetbutts at the MC. I’m going crazy because one minute we’re making bets about making me come, and then you won’t let me touch you.” Tears filled her eyes. “God, I’m so fucking into you, and I feel like I’m begging you to please like me.”

Words were like acid on my tongue. I wanted to confess, but I’d made promises to myself. I was never fucking acknowledging shit. If I didn’t talk about my past, it never happened.

“Blue?”

“Fuck.” With one hand under my chin, I jerked my head and cracked my neck. “I’m into you,” I said. “Only you.”

She put her hands behind her back and took a step toward me. “I’ve told you every dark, dirty secret about me. You’ve seen me at my worst. You’ve seen me dope sick, you’ve seen me so high I couldn’t keep my eyes open. You know every sick thing I’ve done for my addiction, and you’re still here. Why can’t you trust me? You have secrets, too.”

I held still, my gaze drilling into hers. “I’m only into you, Kiss. There’s been no one else, ever.”

“No one?” Her brows pinched. “Are you a virgin?”

My heart pounded. Truth was worse than the lie. I’d never fucked a woman, and my sexual experiences were weaponized in pain and betrayal. I’d been at war with my sexuality since the first depraved touch of a monster intent on my destruction.

I froze as she came closer.

“Don’t say anything,” she whispered. “Unless you want me to stop.” She fingered the edge of her T-shirt and tugged it over her head. She was fucking beautiful .

Full breasts and rosy nipples covered in white lace and sheer silk. With her arm twisted behind her back, she unhooked the bra. The straps tumbled down her arms, catching in the crook of her elbows.

Hooking a finger in the material, I tugged her bra the rest of the way down her arms. She shivered, and her nipples puckered. Blood flooded into my dick, and pressure built in my balls.

I grazed my knuckles along her quivering tummy, reached the low waistband of her jeans, and popped the snap. I stared into her eyes as I held the metal tab and lowered the zipper.

I was a live fucking wire, zinging with electric current, and riding a sharp edge. A hot and intoxicating cocktail of fear, arousal, and adrenaline slipped through my body.

Darts of terror pierced my chest, and I could barely breathe as I flattened my hand against her belly. My fingertips grazed the edge of her panties, then nudged underneath the elastic.

With her lips slightly parted, her delicate pink tongue touched the bow of her upper lip, and she sucked in a shallow breath.

Anticipation saturated the space between us. I touched her moist, soft curls and slid my middle finger along her slit. She whimpered, took a half step wider, and I rimmed the edge of her opening with the tip of my finger, then pushed inside her. Hot and wet, and so fucking soft.

As I swirled my finger, her head tipped back, and a low moan escaped her. Every breath across her lips had my dick responding. Fluid leaked from the slit, and a heaviness throbbed in my balls .

This was the first time I’d touched a woman, the first time I’d had my fingers coated in slippery cream. But inside her tight jeans, I couldn’t get her off.

I pulled my fingers from her panties. “I’m ready to collect.” My voice cut the silence in the room. “Are you going to let me make you come?”

She tugged on her lip with her teeth. “We both won our bets.”

“Yeah, I know.” I fucking wanted her hands on me, I wanted her riding my face, then riding my cock. But I had a huge fucking concern that I wouldn’t be able to keep my mind from sinking into my personal dark cesspool of disturbing memories. I didn’t want my past to color my time with Kiss. She wasn’t the only one addicted to black.

She’d found a way to let go of heroin. But I still simmered in the black murky waters of my past.

“Blue, look at me.”

I refocused on her eyes, so blue and penetrating, like she could see my secrets. I never wanted her to see inside my truth, never wanted her to know the hate festering inside me.

“Stay with me, Blue.” She retreated a few steps from me, slid her hands along her hips, and pushed her jeans and panties to the floor.

Holy fuck. Soft shoulders, full, round breasts, tight cherried nipples. Trim lines of her toned belly led to the flare of hips and a triangle of glistening golden curls. A small gap separated her trim thighs.

“Look at me, Blue. Touch me like this.” With her gaze focused on me, she cupped her breasts and pinched her nipples between her slender fingers. Trekking lower, she splayed her fingers and caressed her skin with a soft touch. “Show me how you want me to touch you.”

I closed the space between us, tugged the elastic from her braid, and ran my fingers through her hair. “Can I just touch you?”

“Yes,” she whispered. “But I want to see you.” She rested her hands on my shoulders and pushed her palms under my cut to take it off.

I reached for her hands, brought them down, and slowly forced them behind her back. “I want you, but I don’t like to be touched.”

She swallowed, and I waited for the questions, the accusations, and then the rejection.

“Can you touch yourself–” She took my hand and pressed it against her breast. “–while you touch me?”

Kiss

I was afraid to breathe, hanging onto an intimate moment, fearing I’d hurt him again. I’d been here before, wanting more than he could give me. The heaviness of arousal tingled in my breasts, radiating heat through me, surging lower as my soaked pussy ached for him to push inside me.

Maybe there was more to his aversion to touch. Maybe he didn’t like his body or was embarrassed by his dick size. I might not understand whatever this was, but I knew him. He was as drawn to me as I was to him. I wasn’t going to pressure him to fuck me. But I still wanted more than what we had.

He’d killed for me. He’d fought for me. I could be patient with him. His being a virgin only made me love him more. And fuck, I did love this man .

“I’m going to take a shower,” I said and spun around, bent over with one hand braced on the edge of the tub and turned on the faucet. I glanced over my shoulder. His gaze was glued to my ass. “The shower is big enough for both of us.”

“You asked me not to give up on you.”

I nodded.

“Don’t give up on me.”

I shook my head, and he stripped out of his cut. We stared at each other. Steam filled the room. Reaching behind his collar, he grabbed his T-shirt and tugged it over his head.

A smirk tilted his lips, and his arms flexed as he unsnapped his jeans. Contours carved his smooth chest. Bronzed skin stretched taut over corded abdominals.

Holy shit. He dropped his jeans and boxers. His cock, oh my god, his cock was perfect, stretching toward his navel. The dome gleamed with pearly fluid, and veins roped the thick length. I ached to have him over me, inside me, completing me. But he had to trust me. We weren’t there yet.

I stepped over the wall of the tub. Standing beneath the spray, warm water sluiced my body. I ran my fingers through my damp hair, combing it back from my face. My breast lifted, and my nipples tightened. Droplets clung to my lashes as I stared into Blue’s eyes. With a step back, I silently asked him to come into the shower with me.

He joined me and pulled the curtain closed. We could have been in the middle of an open field, warm rain pouring over us, and this would still be the most intimate moment of my life.

Some things didn’t require words. This was me sinking into my insecurity and Blue trusting me with his vulnerability. My back braced against the shower wall, my fingers splayed against the tile, and Blue’s mouth was on mine.

Water slicked my skin, and the smooth plain of his chest crushed against the swell of my breasts. We were a wet wash of teeth and tongue. I sucked his mouth, taking him in the only way I could. My lips slanted under his, open and seeking his tongue with my own.

His hand was on my hip, the other trekked along my ribs, sliding over my skin, drawing me more into him.

One moment, he was softly kissing my mouth, teasing my tongue, and gently sucking my lips, and then, he was everywhere at once. He kissed me in a wild mating of mouths. One hand covered my breast, and his other hand slid between my legs.

My head tilted to the side, and he sipped along the tendon, his hot mouth blending with the heat of the shower. I gasped as he plunged a finger inside me, then two, scissoring them, twisting, and cramming them into me.

Water drenched his hair and face as he stared into my eyes and fucked me with his fingers. As good as he felt inside me, I ached because of the worry on the hard line of his mouth, and the insecurity in the stormy blue of his eyes.

Muscled flexed in his forearms as he pumped into me, and his forehead rested against mine. “You have to tell me what feels good.”

“This feels good, Blue.” I widened my stance. “ You make me feel good,” I whispered. “More. Just keep touching me.” He twisted his fingers inside me, finding the magical trigger to make me break apart. “Oh, god.”

My legs trembled, and pressure built low in my belly, coiling tighter and seeping deeper. He curled his fingers into me, rubbed my inner walls, and grazed his thumb against my clit.

“Ah, fuck me,” I whispered and then moaned as he lightened his touch, and I shattered. Sparks flared behind my closed eyes. Quivers rippled through me as I came hard, my core melting on his fingers. My breath caught in my throat. Pulse after pulse contracted inside me. And then, ripping his fingers from my pussy, he left me hollow and aching for more.

Before I could protest, he dropped to his knees, lifted my thigh to his shoulder, spreading me open, and he closed his mouth over my clit.

A silent scream built within me. His mouth took me higher and higher. I needed something to hold to keep my balance.

Blue lifted his gaze to mine. Water droplets clung to his long, dark lashes, and he freaking smiled.

If I hadn’t been addicted to those lips before, I was now.

My lips twitched. This was our secret to hold on to. He’d claimed me as his, and he’d become mine. “Eat my pussy, Blue.”

He groaned and sliced the blade of his tongue through my slit. His eyes closed, and a low hum vibrated out of him and into me. The echo of the shower, the heat, and the steam cocooned me in a moment where he was all that mattered. He knelt on the shower floor, his mouth on me and his dick hard and thick against his thigh.

A spiral of pleasure corkscrewed along my spine. My mind spun, and my core clenched.

One of his hands gripped my thigh, the other braced against my hip. He anchored me to his mouth, tasting me with the flat of his tongue, teasing my folds, and sucking on my clit. With every touch and taste, he brought me to the precipice of another climax. Closer and closer. My heart pounded with the pulse between my legs.

And then I was tumbling into a wild flurry of flutters and shivers. My eyes snapped closed, my mind numbed, and I floated on a euphoric high better than any hit because I was with Blue.

As my heartbeat slowed, and my body released the tension of climax, I opened my eyes and stared down at him.

And my world crashed around me. My hands tangled in his hair. I hadn’t even realized I’d gripped him. His cock rested flaccid between his legs. Panic replaced passion in his icy blue eyes.

His gaze met mine. “I’m sorry,” I whispered and slowly lowered my hands.

Blue shifted my leg from his shoulder, then leaned into me, and sipped water from my skin.

“Blue?”

He shook his head. He didn’t look at me, just kissed his way across my abdomen. His hands trembled where they rested on my hips, and his chest rose and fell with fast breaths. After a moment, he stood, snapped off the shower, and a forced smile stretched his mouth.

“You had two.” He cocked a brow.

Pain knifed through my chest. I could see the fear in his eyes, but if retreating into the safety of banter was what he needed, I was with him. I smiled and playfully tilted my head. “I owe you two then.”

“That wasn’t the bet.” After he handed me a towel, he wrapped one around his waist.

I clutched the cotton to my chest, absorbing the water trickling from my hair .

“But not tonight.” He stepped out of the bathroom. “Sully could be home soon, and I don’t want our being here making him uncomfortable.”

I followed him as I wrapped the towel around my body, underneath my arms, and tucked the tail between my breasts.

Blue strode toward the door, and my heart took a hit.

“Are you leaving?”

He stopped and glanced over his shoulder with his brows creating a deep V. “Get changed. I’ll be back in two minutes.”

He crossed the hall, and I scampered to the dresser, grabbed a pair of panties, then pulled on sleep shorts and a sports bra. I needed to straddle the line between wanting to jump his bones and be his best friend. The problem was that I had no idea where the line was with us. Going braless would be a step too far, but I wanted to show some skin because I loved the way he stared at my body.

After taking a comb through my hair, I gathered our dirty clothes and tossed them into the laundry basket in the bottom of the closet.

I turned on the television and dropped the remote onto the bed. Blue came back into the room. Jeans hung low on his hips, showing off the sexy lines of his obliques and transversus abdominals. Flat nipples centered on his pectorals. His long torso was honed with sleek muscles. Veins roped his arms, and the only hair on his chest trailed past his navel in a thin trail to disappear in his jeans.

He was beautiful…and talented. I laughed. On one arm, he balanced a plate of cold pizza slices on top of a couple cans of soda. In the other, he had a bowl of gr apes. He smiled around a bag of chips clamped between his teeth. He dropped them on the bed and placed the rest of the snacks on the nightstand along with his phone. “Do you think Sully is going to care that I raided his fridge?”

“He won’t care as long as you don’t eat his Fig Newtons.”

“No chance of that. He had pork rinds in the pantry, too. I don’t see how anyone can eat that shit.”

“You’re not a fan of pork?”

“Of bacon, yes, but not fried pork skin.”

“What about pork chops, ribs, ham, oh my god, and sausage?”

“I see you’re a connoisseur of pig.” Blue climbed onto the bed, adjusted the pillows, then leaned against the headboard, and stretched out his legs. “What are we watching?”

I climbed onto the bed next to him. “I don’t care. It’s been a while since I’ve been hooked on any shows.”

Blue flipped to the menu, clicked over to Netflix, and scrolled across the options, picked the first choice, and started the show.

“What’s this?” I asked.

“No clue.” He handed me a soda, opened the bag of chips, and set it between us.

“You know you’re going to leave crumbs in my bed,” I said as I crunched on a chip.

“You’ll have to come across the hall and sleep in my room.”

“As long as we have a plan for after we’re in a food coma from all this.” I laughed and grabbed another chip, but nervous energy still simmered in my gut. We’d just showered together, he ate my pussy, and we were back to being friends with a foot of space between us .

Another chip, a drink of soda, another chuckle from something that happened on the show, and the tension thickened in the room. At least for me.

There were so many things I wanted to say but didn’t know how to start. I didn’t know his triggers the way he understood mine. But I didn’t want to keep doing this, wanting more, then pretending nothing happened.

Only the light from the television illuminated the room. He focused on the screen, but I couldn’t help wondering if he was doing the same thing as me, avoiding all that was left unsaid between us. I understood being afraid. I hated the insecurities polluting my thoughts. Blue wasn’t any different than me.

Shadows cut across his cheekbones, and tension tightened his jaw. I rolled to my side. Now, he’d know I didn’t care about the television show. I cared about us. I wanted to talk.

Another minute of silence stretched between us.

I wasn’t good with exposing my lack of confidence. I didn’t want to lose him, but did I really have him? I didn’t, not if the feeling of my hands on him hurt him. Not if he couldn’t trust me. Not if he shut me out.

Swallowing down my fear, I spoke first. “We don’t have to have sex for me to be your girlfriend.” I fought my tears. I wasn’t going to make him feel worse about whatever fucked up thoughts swirled around in his brain. “I don’t need anything but to be with you for you to be my boyfriend.”

Blue leaned his head back against the headboard, still staring at the television. My heart was on some kind of rollercoaster ride, dropping from my chest into my belly. I rested a hand against my middle to stop the flurry of anxiety.

“Don’t freak out.” I shifted to sit next to him with my legs crossed. “But I know something happens to you when I touch you. I don’t know if it’s me—”

“It’s not you.” He laced his fingers with mine. Another long stretch of silence hung between us.

Holy fuck, this was hard. I had questions, but he wasn’t talking. I pulled his hand into my lap and trailed my fingers in slow lazy patterns over his arm. His breathing seemed to slow.

“Do you want to have sex with me?” I barely spoke the words because they seemed to stick in my mouth.

He growled.

People assumed junkies all shared needles and fucked around. But I didn’t. I’d done other stuff, but I hadn’t slept with anyone since I’d met Blue. I hadn’t been clean, but I wasn’t diseased. No STD’s, no hep or AIDS. I’d been tested. Maybe it was the one time I’d been lucky in my life.

“I want to…if you want to.” Because if he was hard, why wouldn’t he, unless he just didn’t want to put his dick into me. “I mean, you were hard in the shower.” And I was willing. “We could’ve, but it’s okay if you don’t. I won’t get pregnant. I’m on the shot.”

Blue tugged his hand away from me and raked his fingers through his hair. “Fuck, Kiss. Yes! Jesus Christ.” He snapped his gaze at me. “My problem isn’t my dick.”

“If it isn’t your dick, then it’s me, right?” If his dick worked, it was me he didn’t want to fuck.

“When I say it’s not you, it’s me. I’m telling you, it’s me .” He scrubbed his hands over his face .

I shifted onto my hands and knees and crawled next to him. “Don’t get upset. I’m not angry. I’m trying to understand.”

He leaned his head back and closed his eyes. I grabbed the remote and snapped off the television. If he couldn’t look at me to tell me the truth, maybe he’d talk in the dark.

“If I ask you a question, will you tell me the truth?” My words were softly spoken in the darkened room.

“Maybe.” His voice was low and gravelly, sending tingles over my skin. “But I promise not to lie to you. I just won’t answer.”

I started with the one that meant the most. “Do you want this? Us?”

“Fuck. Yes. Hundred percent. Yes.”

I smiled at the relief lacing his voice. “Do you think of me as your girlfriend?”

“Absolutely.”

“Good.” I chewed on my lip as I contemplated my next question.

“Do you think of me as your boyfriend?” he asked.

My heart skipped a beat. “Yes.” I scooted in next to him, touching but not touching. Our hips connected. His shoulder pressed against mine. I turned to look at him even though he was barely a silhouette next to me.

“Ask,” he said. “I can hear you thinking. Whatever you’re thinking, just say it.”

“You don’t have to worry about hurting my feelings if your answer is no, but do you want to fuck your girlfriend?”

“Yes. I definitely want to fuck my girlfriend.” His dark and dirty chuckle seeped into me.

My nipples tightened, and an answering ache pulsed between my legs .

“Does it make you wet to think about us together?” he asked. “Because I’m hard as fuck.”

I sucked in a breath, and he released a heavy exhale.

“But if you touch me, I’m going to lose it.”

I didn’t have to see him to hear the dejection in his softly spoken words.

“Why?”

I waited. The quietness of the room grew thick and heavy.

“I’m broken, baby.” In the darkness, he pivoted toward me, his hands found me, cradled my face, and his lips brushed against mine. “You can’t fix me.”

Tears filled my eyes and slipped onto my cheeks. “Can we just try?”

“Fuck. Don’t cry.” He pulled me into his arms. His chest was smooth against my cheek. His rampant heartbeat thudded against my ear, but his skin was warm. I wanted to hold him with the same intensity, but I didn’t want him to pull away.

“I want to be your girlfriend. I want this, too.”

His arms loosened. “I don’t know how, but we can try.”

Blue

Kiss shifted out of my arms. The mattress dipped as she positioned next to me. “Do you know why you don’t like to be touched? Maybe we could try something small, like a back massage. Or if you wanted, we could just lie together, skin to skin.”

She wanted conversation, and I couldn’t fucking breathe. Fear coiled around my chest, squeezing, and forcing the air from my lungs. I waited, my dick limp and my balls trying to crawl back inside my fucking body.

I reached for her hand and pressed it to my chest.

“I need words, Blue.”

“Less talking,” I said. More touching. But, I wasn’t ready to say that either.

“You could growl if you like something and hiss if you hate it.”

Her small hand rested on my chest, then gently smoothed over my shoulder. A lump lodged in my throat. I swallowed hard, forcing my body to remain still. Then her fingers curled, and her nails lightly raked along my arm.

A shiver ripped over me, and goosebumps peppered my flesh. A hiss escaped my lips, and she stilled, then slowly pulled her hand away.

If I didn’t want to lose her, I needed to figure my shit out. Alcohol had always done a good job of dulling my senses, but I couldn’t depend on a substance as a crutch with Kiss. If she couldn’t use to dull her defects, neither would I.

I leaned over and turned on the light. I stared hard into her eyes. “I’m yours, Kiss. I want to try, too.” I tapped my temple. “This is where I’m fucked up. You’re not going to fix me, but you’re not going to hurt me, either.” I linked our fingers and held her hand to my heart. “Touch me. Kiss me.”

She touched my stomach, and my muscles contracted.

“What happens to you when I do this?” Her fingers feathered along my skin at the waistband of my jeans. “Do you get hard when you think of me touching your cock?”

“Everything about you makes me hard. ”

Pressure hammered against my ribs. Her hands were small and soft, and her touch was delicate. Nothing about her should be firing this much adrenaline through my veins. I inhaled hard and slowly exhaled.

Her movements stilled. “I can’t do this, Blue.” Fat tears rolled down her cheeks. “I can’t hurt you to love you.”

I leaned in and kissed her trembling lips. “I want this—” I fought tears of my own. “I want you. So fucking bad.”

“Then fight for us.”

Did she want me to cut open my chest and bleed my secrets? I couldn’t. I wasn’t going to let my past poison my future.

“I’m trying,” I said. “I don’t know what to do.”

Sitting with her trim legs crossed, she nodded and tapped her fingers against her lip. I loved the way her thoughts played across her face. One perfectly shaped brow arched high into her forehead. A mischievous smile curled the corner of her lips. “Do you want to play a game?”

I shook off the dejected feeling crushing my chest. Redirection was good. Great actually. The less we focused on me, the less I’d have to explain. “What are the rules?”

“Okay.” She scrambled to the side. “Sit in the middle of the bed and face the television.”

I did as she asked.

“You’ll have to concentrate on my touch.” She leaned in and whispered into my ear. “I’m going to talk dirty to you, Blue. But first you have to guess what I’m saying. ”

She kneeled behind me, and her fingers traced a pattern on my back. The tip of her finger looped and tickled across my scapula, dipped along my spine, then trailed over my shoulder.

I laughed because I didn’t have a clue what she wrote. “Are you writing a word or a book?”

“Pay attention.”

“One word at a time and give me a hint.”

“Hints cost a kiss.”

I glanced over my shoulder, and she kissed me hard and fast.

“Okay, the first hint. This is my favorite part of you. First word.” Her fingertip moved over my flesh.

“Your.”

“Second word.” She traced the word twice.

“Eyes.”

She hummed an affirmative and traced the third word.

“Oh, come on.” I spun around and tackled her to the bed. I plundered her mouth, sliding my tongue against hers, sucking her lip, and breathing her in. Her fingers were in my hair, but I didn’t hate it. I groaned and kissed her deeper. When we parted, she smiled.

“Your eyes are like a summer rain. They make me wet.”

I laughed as I tugged her back up. “New rules. Three words max. Words have to be less than seven letters.”

“What is this? Scrabble?” She pouted, crossed her arms, and made her tits look fantastic in her sports bra.

“Do you want double points for guessing on the first try?”

“Fine. But I’m not writing watch me come, or suck my dick, so three to five words.”

“Are we making a to-do list now? ”

“Yes.” She spun around, to give me her back.

“Nah,” I said. “Lie back and close your eyes. I’m writing on your belly.”

With her legs still crossed, she flopped onto her back, draped her arms over her head, narrowed her gaze on me, then smiled and closed her eyes.

“First word,” I said. If we were making a to-do list, I had about a thousand dirty things I wanted to do to her, and wished she could do to me. My finger slipped over her quivering flesh. A diamond jewel winked in her bellybutton. She wiggled against my touch.

“Three words is good,” she said.

“Is this turning you on?”

“Yes. First word is sit.”

I traced the next word.

“On.” Her eyes snapped open, and her lips pursed. Her gaze stayed locked on mine, that damn sexy arch in her left brow. “My.” Those blue eyes rolled into the back of her head. They’d be rolling for an entirely different reason if this was charades instead of Scrabble. “Face.” She sat up.

“Double points mean double penetration. Two in your pussy.” I wiggled two fingers, then wiggled my ring finger. “This one is going in your ass.”

“Not without lube. Turn around.”

“Really?” Something warm, yet uncomfortable crawled into my throat. This was the fucked up part of my brain. I mentally tattooed Kiss with my fucking hangups. I was fucking unhinged with a touch.

I shook loose of my thoughts, got out of my head, and focused on Kiss. She’d grown quiet as I’d wrestled with my thoughts.

“I trust you, Blue. I don’t care how you fuck me as long as we both feel good.” She cut the tension between us with a teasing smile. “We’re having fun, so don’t ruin it by thinking too hard. Turn around. In our next game we can talk about what we don’t want.” She smirked. “I still want to know if you’re open to pegging.”

“Jesus. That’s a hard no.”

She nipped my earlobe. “Maybe just a rimming?”

Fuck me. I spun around, and she wrote the first word. “Tie.” The next word. “Me.” Blood surged into my dick. If this was our to do list, she just hit on my truth. “Fuck, baby. Tie me up?”

Her lips slid along my neck. “I’ve proven I don’t have a lot of self-control. When you kiss me, I want my fingers in your hair. When you go down on me, I want my fingers in your hair .” She chewed her lip, then released a breath. “I want to be what makes you hard, not what breaks you down. You need control so take it. Tie me up.” She dropped onto her elbows and waited for me to write on her belly. “Write what you want to do to me.”

Everything. I wanted to do every fucking thing to her. But my fingertip words went from a to-do list to finding out what she loved. Hers began to morph into things she wanted to do to me.

Favorite position?

Paint me with cum.

Doggy-style.

We stopped guessing, stopped worrying about where we touched, and just described the filthy things we wanted. “I want you to clean your cum from my cock after I fuck you on all fours.” I wrote fuck, cum and the number four along her inner thigh.

She only had my torso as a canvas because of my jeans, but her hand braced against my thigh, her hair tickled my abdomen, and her kisses had migrated from my mouth to my neck, and now, she sipped my navel.

“I want to do a body shot of whip cream off you.” Her eyes lifted and her tongue flicked against my skin.

“I think you forgot to write the word. That’s a penalty.”

I tackled her and braced her arms over her head. Her cheeks flushed with color, her chest rose and fell with rushed breaths, and I laughed until my gut hurt.

Something had shifted between us. Not that my cock was hard, or that we’d crossed some invisible line where I could split her legs and fuck her until she’d baptized me in her cum.

But the panic had dissipated. Her kisses didn’t suffocate, and her touch didn’t paralyze.

I hovered over her, and she wrapped her legs around my hips. “I don’t think it’s a penalty because you’ve been breaking rules, too.”

“Are you calling me a cheater?”

She gasped. “Never. You’re a rule breaker.”

A throat cleared. I jerked away from her, putting space between us. Sully stood in the doorway with a big smile on his face.

Kiss rolled to sitting. “How was it?”

Sully combed his beard with his fingers. “Can’t say that leaving the board isn’t going to sting for a minute, but my time is up. The club has changed a lot, peanut.” He smiled at her. “It’s good to see you smiling and laughing.”

I slid off the bed. “I owe you some groceries.”

He waved a hand. “Nothing I ain’t used to. Jazzy does her shopping in my fridge.” He yawned. “I’m going to bed. You know you’re old when you’re one of the first ones to leave a party. ”

Kiss laughed, and Sully headed down the hall.

I sat next to Kiss again. “I should go to my own room.” I leaned in and kissed her. Our tongues touched and tasted. I inched in closer, cradled her skull and kissed her deeper. “You can touch me,” I said against her lips.

After tonight, a touch no longer had hate heating my blood. At least, not her touch.

She rose onto her knees. I gripped her hips as she straddled my lap, rested her hands on my shoulders, and crashed her mouth into mine. Our kiss went from zero to sixty in one point six seconds.

Her skin was soft and warm beneath my palms. I mapped the ladder of her ribs, grazed over the strap of her sports bra, then splayed my fingers and roamed her back.

She moaned low in her throat and ground down onto my cock, my hard fucking cock crushing against the heat of her pussy. I growled and kissed her harder. Deeper. Trembling started in my chest, migrating lower into my abdomen, and rippling into my legs.

“Blue—”

“Shh. Just kiss me.” Nothing could break the connection. Heat burned through my system, scorching a path of fire through every part of my body. My balls grew heavy. Fuck. I was going to come in my jeans. Pressure built in my chest.

Fisting my fingers into the tangles of hair draping her back, I held her immobile. Lips meshed. She whimpered, and I thrust my hips into her, trying to find my fucking climax.

Her nails dug into my shoulders, and her body vibrated. “I’m going to come,” she whispered, rocking her hips harder and faster .

A flare of heat sizzled along my spine, and my gut clenched. Kiss ripped her lips from mine, clamped her mouth closed to stifle her cry, and convulsed on my lap.

I squeezed her tight, even as I felt the pressure in my groin slacken, and my cock slowly softened. I hadn’t come, but my girlfriend had come on my cock.

A shiver rippled over my flesh. I might not be fixed. But maybe I wasn’t completely broken.