Page 18

Blue

Why hadn’t I jumped? I thought about the question a lot. I had no fucking reason not to leave. No one would miss me. When I’d stand on that concrete wall and stare at the ground below, I’d acknowledged that killing myself wasn’t going to punish Carl.

Would my mom finally shed a fucking tear for the son she failed? Probably not. I was pretty sure she’d been fucking Carl behind my dad’s back. What would it say about her if the man she wanted preferred her underage son? What the fuck did I know?

I no longer gave a fuck if she ever thought about me. I hadn’t jumped. Brantley Warner was already dead.

Rogue smoked another cigarette, and Bullet turned his chair toward me. McKelle and Kiss had left, but the tension had only built.

“We all got secrets, Blue,” Rogue said.

Maybe, but I wasn’t sharing mine. I glared at Cruz. He’d already said too much. At least he hadn’t given them Carl’s name or hinted at why I wanted him hurt. Cruz would be guessing. Kiss was the only one who knew everything.

“We know you got something eating you from the inside out,” Bullet said. He and Rogue exchanged a glance, a silent communication happening between them. “Cruz is smart enough not to lie to me. Blue, you’ve always had my back.” Bullet leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his massive chest. “I’m not letting you fight alone.”

He could kick my ass, but I wasn’t saying shit. They’d want details. Then every time they looked at me, for the rest of my fucking life, they’d see the guy who didn’t fight back. Fuck that.

Silence stretched between us.

“Blue—”

I snapped my gaze to Cruz. He took the hint and shut his fucking mouth.

Rogue released a ragged exhale. “I got a story to tell you. It’s not just my story to tell, but maybe you can trust me once you hear it.”

He traced a scuff in the table with his thumb nail.

“My sister has a soft spot for broken boys. I’m not just talking about Romeo. She spent her life protecting me, until the night I realized I had to protect her.” He tilted his head to the side, his lips pulled into a snarl, and he lit another cigarette. “Like you, I don’t talk about the fucked up parts of my past. My mom died of cancer when I was just a kid.” He blew a stream of smoke toward the ceiling. “When my old man needed a female in his bed, he decided to take my sister.”

No one spoke, the gravity of the words too heavy.

“One night, I caught him violating her. I beat the fucking life out of him.” His gaze locked hard to mine. “Then I buried the body.” He rolled the cherry of his cigarette in the ashtray.

“I got more bodies out on my property than the city cemetery,” Bullet said. “Every one of them deserves to be there. ”

I bowed my head, refusing to make eye contact. What if there was pity in their eyes, or worse, they didn’t believe me? My pulse spiked, and I wanted on the edge of that fucking wall. I wanted to be anywhere but here.

Still, I didn’t speak.

“Does this have anything to do with Kiss, the dead drug dealer, or any of the other trouble you two have been finding?” Rogue asked.

Cruz leaned toward me. “You gotta tell them.”

I lifted my gaze to Cruz. “We didn’t go looking for trouble.”

“Fuck the Heller motto,” Bullet said.

Another fifteen seconds of silence passed. Then I stood, went to the bar, and grabbed a bottle of spiced rum from the counter. I didn’t care what the drink was. I’m sorry, Kiss, but no way am I getting through this conversation sober.

I swallowed two mouthfuls as I made my way back to the table.

“His name is Carl Douglas.”

Once I started, I kept talking. I didn’t look in their eyes, and only paused to take another drink. Somehow, the bottle joined four shot glasses, and these three Hellers drank with me as they listened.

Periodically, Rogue would roll his shoulders and smoke another cigarette. Bullet was silent, but he twisted the rings on his fingers. And Cruz’s knee bounced as he kept the shot glasses filled.

“Shit really started fucking with my head when I got with Kiss.” I wiped my palms on my thighs. Finally, I glanced at Bullet. “Nothing had happened with her until—”

I swallowed the thick, sticky lump in my throat. My relationship with Kiss was none of their business, but they were going to want to know what set me off. Fuck, I’d told them everything else, so I told them the rest.

“There was no one before Kiss. I’d never let anyone close.” I gave Cruz a half smile. “I took your advice and told her everything.”

“No need to tell me how she took it,” he said with a smirk. “We fucking heard you…all fucking night.”

Heat crawled up my chest, the good kind of heat, a good fucking feeling.

Just bringing up her name shifted the tone of our conversation. She was mistaken when she thought her presence cast a shadow on me or the MC. She was my fucking sunshine.

Rogue tossed back another shot. “She looked happy until she saw us,” he said to Bullet.

“Can she handle this, Blue?” Bullet asked. “Knowing what we’re going to do to that piece of shit? You just got her back. I don’t want to see her running back to the street.”

“You don’t have to worry about Kiss,” I said. “She won’t run.”

Bullet nodded. “No one will ever look for Douglas out at my property. We take him to the barn, castrate him with a dull knife, and help him die a slow, agonizing death.”

I shook my head. “I don’t want him dead.”

“Blue,” Bullet argued. “Nothing we do can make up for what he did to you, but we can make him suffer.”

Rogue put out his hand, stopping Bullet. “You tell us what you need.”

“Death is too easy.” I tipped the shot glass to my lips, swallowed, and relished the burn all the way to my gut. “I want him to live in fucking fear. I want him to know that I’m lurking around every dark corner ready to burn his life to the ground.” I released a breath. “But he still has power over me. He has photos.” I lowered my voice. “Photos of me doing shit to him. I want them destroyed. If I’m going to be a memory for him, I’m going to be his nightmare. I want to keep him from ever having a peaceful night’s sleep until the day he dies.”

For the next hour, I told them everything I remembered about Carl Douglas. Where he worked. Where he lived. The lake house. His wife. My former best friend. My family. I told them shit I hadn’t thought to tell Kiss because it didn’t seem important.

Bullet and Rogue were thorough. They asked questions. Some things I knew. When was the last time I’d seen him? His description. His businesses. But other information, like the make and model of the car he drove, I didn’t have a fucking clue. Too many years had gone by.

“I’ll find out.” I’d take Kiss on a night ride, drive through my old neighborhood and grab some license plate numbers.

Cruz spun his empty shot glass on the table. “I doubt he’d have anything on the cloud. Too much risk. Six years is a long time for computer hardware and software.”

“I know he still has them,” I said. He wouldn’t have given up his leverage over me.

“Then he would have backed up onto an external, probably somewhere he could access it without fear of getting caught.”

Cruz started talking computer lingo I had no clue about.

“We’ll want to check his system for a VPN. If he’s into teens, he’s only going to get that content on the dark web.” When he glanced at me, something dark and soulful crossed his face. “We need to check his log files and make sure he hasn’t distributed content. But I doubt we’ll find your photos. It’s been too long, and he’s never been caught, so you know he’s good at what he does.”

“There are probably other victims,” Bullet said.

Blood flowed like ice through my veins. I hadn’t considered the possibility. Bile burned in my throat. That he’d let other sick fucks get off on my fear sent a hot sear of rage through me. But that there could be other victims… I was going to throw up.

I pushed my chair back, stumbled, and tried to grab the table and missed. “I can’t fucking do this anymore.”

The room spun, and the alcohol in my gut soured.

“Blue.” Rogue rose to his feet and grabbed me. “Look at me.”

I fought to keep tears from my eyes. I wasn’t crying because I was some broken kid who couldn’t handle his shit. I was fucking pissed. Pissed I’d never fought back. Pissed I’d gone to my sister when I should’ve gone to anyone else. How could I be so na?ve to think I was the only one?

Because I’d believed his lies and threats. Because I’d believed I couldn’t do shit about it. Because I’d been fucking terrified of him. Because I wasn’t strong enough to fight him.

Not anymore. Not with my Heller brothers beside me.

If there were other victims, living in fear wouldn’t be enough punishment for him.

***

By early afternoon, my drunk had morphed into a functioning buzz. Bullet and Rogue were meticulous in planning .

“Give me some time to make some inquiries.” Bullet had connections because of his pimping days. Judges and cops liked paid pussy. But he’d also become involved with the Italian mafia because of Stormy. “Marco Bruno is head of the Bruno Family. He and I came to an understanding. I stay out of his business, and he’ll stay out of mine. But we both got no problem disposing of sick fuckers who prey on kids.”

This was why I wanted to handle this on my own. Cruz and Kiss would take my secrets to the grave. I trusted Bullet and Rogue, but Bruno was mafia, and fucking mafia already fucked me once.

“Your name will never come up, Blue. No one but us four will know what’s going down.”

“And Kiss,” I said. “I’m not hiding anything from her.”

Rogue leaned back in his chair. “You aren’t the only one taking risks, Blue.” He stubbed out his smoke. “Kiss is like Jazzy. You tell her too much, and she’s going to want to be involved. What she doesn’t know, she can’t interfere with. I promise, you don’t want her with a vendetta of her own.”

After the way Rogue and Bullet had intimidated her and McKelle out of the MC, I wouldn’t have to say anything. She already knew I was going after Carl. She was too smart not to realize these three were getting involved.

The MC door swung open. McKelle and Kiss came in laughing. As soon as our gazes collided, her laughter faded.

“We good?” Bullet asked.

I nodded and separated from the guys, and she set her helmet on the table, then walked toward me.

“If you’re still talking, we can come back,” she said .

I wrapped my arms around her waist and buried my nose in the warm, sweet heat of her neck. “Missed you,” I mumbled, running my lips along her neck.

She felt good in my arms. I dipped my hand lower and cupped her ass. My cock stretched behind the zipper of my jeans. I pressed closer, wanting her to feel what she did to me, to show her I wasn’t fucking broken anymore. Not when I was with her.

She leaned her head back and smiled up at my face. I lowered my mouth to hers, parted her lips, and touched my tongue to hers.

She hummed, stood on her tiptoes, and twined her arms around my neck. The kiss was wild, hot, and over when Cruz whistled. “Get a room.”

“We have a room,” I said, keeping my hands on her.

“I need you at the dance studio in the morning,” Bullet said to me. “We need to be ready to open next week.”

Rogue followed him out of the chapel.

McKelle grabbed her helmet. “I can’t stay,” she said to Cruz. “Dad needs help at the track, and I need the money.” She waved at Kiss and strode toward the door.

Cruz walked her out, and I was alone with Kiss.

“What happened?”

“I’m done talking about Carl.” I kept my arms around her as I walked her backwards toward my room.

Her eyebrows shot up. “You told them everything?”

“How was your meeting?” I asked to change the subject.

“Sad but good.” She curled her fingers around the waistband of my jeans. “Are Bullet and Rogue going after Carl?”

“Did you bring me a cookie?”

“Blue! ”

I led us into my room and kicked the door closed.

“Kiss,” I said with the same clipped tone, but I killed the angst with a smile. “Off,” I said and tugged on the hem of her hoodie.

Those fuckable lips pursed, and all I wanted was to fill her mouth with enough DNA to alter her 23andMe results. She ripped her hoodie over her head, pulled the elastic from her braid, and fanned out her long hair.

“Fucking beautiful,” I whispered.

“What do you want, Blue? My hands behind my back?” She pushed her arms behind her, causing her luscious tits to crest out of her bra.

“You.” I didn’t want to be me without her. My cock was hard, but something had changed. My body felt free. Everywhere she touched banished the memory of Carl. Her lips, her hands, her taste purged every ugly memory from my mind.

I sat on the bed, pulled her between my widespread thighs, and closed my mouth over her nipple, sucking the hard little tip through the sheer fabric.

She whimpered. Fuck, but I wanted her gasping for breath, wanted her soaking my cock with her sweetness, and I wanted my name on her lips because I was the one making her come.

I pulled the material away and sucked her nipple into my mouth, pillowing it between my tongue and the roof of my mouth.

When her arms came back around to her front, she gripped my shoulders. No panic. No fear. Just an ache to get inside her, both her body and mind. I wanted her as obsessed with me as I was with her. I fucking needed her to be me.

“What do you want, Kiss?” I gently bit the tip, grazing the edge of my teeth against her flesh. “No red lights.” With her, there were no more triggers. I trusted her with my body, my heart, with my fucking life.

“I want to replace every painful memory you have with pleasure,” she said. “I don’t want you to be afraid—” She swallowed, and her voice softened. “—I don’t want you to hold back with me. I want you to tell me what to do and fuck me like a Heller.”

She stared down at my face. Before I could speak, she continued.

“I’m not done.” She smiled. “I want to suck your dick, Blue. I want to feel you harden in my mouth because you’re so into me you have to fuck every one of my holes. I want to be all you can think about.” She unclipped her bra and spilled her tits as the straps slipped down her arms. “I want you.”

Electric energy slipped through my body burning off any trace of the numbness I’d needed earlier. Staring into her eyes, I unsnapped her jeans and lowered the zipper. Her toned tummy quivered, her diamond piercing glinting in her bellybutton.

With a shift of her hips, she helped me tug off her jeans. She leaned down to take off her shoes.

“Turn around,” I said.

She flipped her hair, smirked the sexiest fucking smile, then pivoted until her ass was right in front of me. As she slipped off her shoes, I traced the line of her crack with my fingertip, dipped between her thighs, and circled the rim of her drenched opening.

She widened her stance, and I slipped two fingers inside her warm, soft pussy.

Touching her was touching nirvana. She was smooth and silky. And mine. “Did you like riding on the back of McKelle’s bike?” I asked her .

“Yes. Her bike is fast.” She rocked back on my fingers.

“Riding, leaning into her, had your ass looking like a juicy peach.” I’d been jealous of a chick. I mentally chuckled. But not so jealous that I’d interfere with Kiss getting to her meeting or with her and McKelle becoming friends. Even if it did put her on a bike that wasn’t mine.

If she rode behind another guy, I’d lose my mind. “This ass is mine.” I eased my fingers in and out of her cunt. I needed to be inside every part of her. “Pull your cheeks apart.”

She gripped her ass, spreading her cheeks, showing me her tight little hole. Her blonde hair cascaded down her back leading to the two dimples puckered at the curve of her buttocks.

With two fingers inside her pussy, I flicked my tongue against her rosette. I wanted to fuck her here, too. Any insecurity about being with her melted with the heat of her pussy.

“Oh god,” she mewled.

With only a few swipes of my tongue against her velvety skin, she was soaking my fingers.

“Touch your clit.” The words were whispered against her as I licked, sucked, and tongue fucked her back hole.

“I can’t. I need something to hold onto.” She started to tumble forward. I stood, grasped her by the waist, and spun her around. She braced her hands on the bed on outstretched arms and glanced over her shoulder at me.

I shoved my jeans past my hips, fisted my cock, and slammed inside her cunt. Kiss cried out and grasped the blanket. Two hard pumps, and she was breaking apart, her inner muscles squeezing my dick in exquisite pressure.

I stared at my cock sliding in and out of her pussy, her tight rosette winking as her orgasm ricocheted through her. I spit on her hole, swirled the slippery saliva over her opening, and slowly inserted a finger into her ass not stopping until I was all the way inside. Then I inched out and doubled up.

Kiss bit into the blanket, a violent trembling rippling her inner walls. She tightened and exploded in a gush of fluids washing over my cock. I focused, staving off my own release, wanting to feel every fucking flutter and savor every muffled cry from her lips.

As the final spasms milked my cock, I pulled out of her pussy, and my fingers from her ass.

She turned to me. Teeth marks marred her swollen, trembling lips.

I tilted my head, took a step back, and gripped the base of my cock. Blood roared through my veins, and heavy heat pulsed low in my abdomen and seeped into my balls. I’d imagined doing filthy things to her. I’d dreamed of fucking her until we were both spent and drenched in cum and sweat. Now, I had her taste on my tongue, and her addicting scent lingered in my nostrils.

She’d wanted to suck me, wanted treated like a Heller. I’d never felt like I belonged to the brotherhood, never believed I’d have this beautiful woman in my bed. Now, I had both.

From the moment we’d met, I’d wanted her to be mine. But I’d been a fucking train wreck off the tracks. I still was, but with her, it didn’t matter. She wanted me. I’d be everything she needed. And right now, she wanted a fucking Heller to tell her what to do .

“On your knees, Kiss.” The words sounded strange on my tongue. Making demands of her didn’t come naturally. None of this came naturally, except how much I needed her.

Her eyes widened, and she slid off the bed and dropped to kneel on the floor.

“You came all over my cock.”

“I did.”

“Take me in your mouth, baby. See why I’m so fucking addicted to the taste of you.”

With her eyes on me, she parted her bruised lips and touched her tongue to the slit, tasting a blend of my precum and her cream.

Those long feathering lashes lowered, and she shyly closed her mouth over me, replacing my fist with her own and pumping me in long, gentle strokes.

She wanted me to need her, and I did. She wanted me obsessed. And I was.

All in. All hers.

“You’re mine, Kiss.”

A whimper slipped from her lips and into my balls.

Oh fuck. Warm, wet heat surrounded the head. Pressure built in my chest, and a shiver slithered along my spine, snaked around to my groin, and coiled in my lower abdominals.

Too many sensations fired at once. She released my cock, gripped my thighs, and sucked me deep. With her lips running the length of my shaft, her tongue zigzagged along the sensitive skin, and when my cock hit the back of her throat, she swallowed. Muscles flexed on the crown, and my buttocks clenched, pushing me deeper into her throat.

She’d asked me to treat her like a Heller, but I could only show her how much I loved her. How desperate I was to be the man who would fuck her in all the ways she needed.

And have her fuck me in all the ways I needed.

Kiss gagged, sharply inhaled, and groaned in a symphony of erotic sounds. Her nails pierced my thighs, but she didn’t release my cock. She opened wider, gagging and choking as I fucked her face. Spit slicked her lips and trickled down my shaft and onto my nuts. I sank my hands into her hair, gripping her skull.

“Fuck, you’re beautiful.” Her red lips stretched around the shaft, her eyes shimmered with unshed tears, and her cheeks hollowed as she sucked and fucked me with her mouth.

She hummed, pulled back until just the head rested on her tongue. She glanced up at me as she cradled my balls, firmly tugged, and then lifted the sac to roll them between her fingers.

A flare of lightning streaked from my balls to my buttocks and up my spine to light up my brain with wild electric pulses. I moaned as she ran her fingers along the sensitive skin under my sac, then deeper, grazing her spit-soaked finger across my asshole.

I tensed and her finger stilled, using only her mouth on my cock. My heart raced, and breaths came fast and shallow. But I was hard as fuck, and my girl had my cock in her mouth and my balls in her hand.

I released a long, slow exhale, letting go of my fear, and trusting my lover. I grazed her cheek with my thumb. I wanted everything with her.

“Green light,” I whispered because I needed her to banish every fucked up, poisonous memory of Carl.

She smiled around my cock, but treaded carefully, listening to my reactions to her touch. Fuck but she loved me so fucking good. Jacking my shaft in her sloppy wet hand, her mouth met her fist in the middle. Her other hand alternated between fondling my nuts and teasing the taint, bringing me to the brink of orgasm.

Muscles tightened. Pressure snapped in my gut, and my mind numbed. A growl crawled up my chest and made its way out of my mouth.

As the first hard pulse contracted my core, Kiss slipped her finger deep into my rectum, targeted my prostrate, and sent me into the stratosphere of orgasms.

I grunted, nearly doubled over, spewing jets of hot cum into the back of her throat. Kiss choked, sucking and swallowing as I came. Each convulsion, each slide of her finger in and out of my ass, sent shards of pleasure through every molecule of my body. I felt the release from the anesthetizing euphoria in my mind to the numbing weakening of my knees.

Even after the last ripple of my orgasm, she kept me in her mouth, waiting until I began to soften before inching back and sucking me dry.

Then she sat back on her heels and wiped slobber from her chin. I tugged up my jeans, tucked my dick away, sat on the floor, and leaned against the bed. Kiss found her panties, slipped them on, and did the same with her hoodie. Then she sat next to me.

“How was your meeting?” I asked.

“Everyone is worried about Georgia.”

I slipped my hand into hers. “You care because you’ve been there.”

She leaned her head against my shoulder. I’d never noticed she had faint freckles on her arms or the scar high on her left thigh. I traced the jagged line.

“I got caught on the top of a chain link fence when I was little.” A soft chuckle slipped from her lips. “It probably needed stitches, but my dad fixed it with superglue and a bandage.”

She explained, but I was cataloguing all the little details I’d missed noticing. And not just about her. Until today, I hadn’t realized Cruz had a nervous habit of bouncing his knee. How many other things had I failed to notice because I was caught up in my own fucking misery?

A nagging twist of unease churned in my gut. Threats weren’t going to be enough to punish Carl for what he’d done…not if there were other victims.

Bullet and Rogue needed information. Six years ago, I’d run from home. I was still fucking running. That ended tonight. No longer the prey, I was becoming the predator. And I was ready to stalk my enemy.