Page 6

Kiss

I hadn’t seen much of Blue for the last couple of days. After meeting me at the bottom of the stairs each morning, he’d leave with Rogue, but he’d text me throughout the day. Jazzy had taken me shopping for two pairs of jeans and a couple of T-shirts. And some sexy bras and panties. One day, I’d wear them for Blue.

Maybe.

I hoped.

I’d promised Jazzy I’d pay her back. Promised . I was going to keep all my promises.

Maybe the separation had been for the best because I felt like I was through the roughest part of my withdrawals.

I wasn’t stupid enough to think I was cured. I’d made that mistake too many times to fall for my own mental manipulations. If I wanted to stay clean, I had to quit my triggers. And my triggers were more like an all you can eat buffet. I didn’t need much of a reason to use.

This morning, for the first time, I didn’t wake up with a headache. It was still dark outside. While Jazzy slept, I made coffee and sent Blue a text.

Kiss: Are you asleep?

While I waited for an answer, I poured a cup of coffee and took it outside. I walked halfway down the stairs and sat where I could see the side entrance of Sully’s place, and where I wouldn’t set off the outside security light at Jazzy’s screen door.

The predawn chorus of birds chirped in the twilight. I listened to the rhythmic hits of the neighbor’s impact sprinkler. Steam rose from my mug as I took a sip. I couldn’t remember the last time I sat contently and just waited for sunrise.

Sully’s side door opened. My heart skipped a beat, and my tummy tumbled. Wearing his usual T-shirt and jeans, Blue crossed the driveway, and quietly bounded barefoot up the stairs.

“Good morning, beautiful.”

“Hi.” I scooched over, and he sat next to me.

With my palms wrapped around my mug, I held still, waiting, anticipating. My breath caught as he leaned in, and his breath warmed my lips. His eyes stared into mine, and a smile curled his lips.

“You look good in the morning.” And then he kissed me.

A soft whimper escaped me as his tongue tangled with mine. His fingers were in my hair. Breath blended. I smiled against his mouth.

We were getting good at this. He touched and tasted. I breathed him in but kept my hands locked to the mug. I could wait to touch him because I felt the kiss from my lips to the tips of my bare toes curling into the step. As long as he was kissing me, we were good. One day, maybe he’d be ready for me to kiss him .

“You’re up early,” he whispered.

“I couldn’t sleep.” This might be the only time we saw each other today.

Rogue had him working on Willow’s place. Blue had told me about the remodel. I was happy for Levi. Willow had always been there for her. She’d been a mother to all of us, but especially to Dozer and Romeo.

Another piece of my past. I hadn’t realized how important the people around me were until I’d destroyed the relationships. Everyone eventually got sick of my drama.

“I have energy now and nothing to do with it.” I took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. “Jazzy hasn’t said anything about me leaving, but she needs her house back. I have to think about where I’m going to go from here. I don’t want to go to a halfway house. I don’t want to be around users.”

“You can’t rush recovery. You don’t need the stress.”

“I know, and I’ll figure out something.”

He linked our fingers. “You can stay with me.”

“At the MC? I don’t think so.”

Lights came on in the kitchen window of the house. The door opened and Sully carried the garbage to the can. He noticed us sitting on the steps leading to Jazzy’s apartment.

“Coffee is brewing. Do you two want breakfast?”

Blue held my hand as he stood. “Come on. Sully makes the best fried eggs on toast.”

With one hand, my fingers linked with his, and in the other, I held my mug. Crinkles formed around those blue eyes as he smiled down at me. This was the first time I’d been off the steps and out of Jazzy’s apartment. A shiver of anticipation mixed with a tinge of nervousness.

Sully held the door for me, and Blue followed me inside. I sat down, and Blue filled a mug of the freshly brewed coffee .

Sully grabbed eggs out of the refrigerator. “Good to see you smile, peanut.”

A lump crawled into my throat, and tears welled in my eyes. My dad had called me peanut. I’d barely been a teenager when my friends stopped calling me Shae and started calling me Kiss. Some of the old timers like Sully never did because…probably because it sexualized a girl that never should’ve been flirting with her dad’s friends.

But there were Hellers I hoped I’d never have to see again. Razor was dead. Maybe I could get lucky, and Elvis and Slims could be dead, too.

“Morning.” Rogue rumbled into the kitchen, paused when he saw me, then grabbed a mug for coffee. “Where’s Jazzy?”

“Still asleep,” I said.

Sully pointed at Rogue with his spatula. “Go grab your old lady.” He turned back to the large cast iron pan. “I’ll make enough for everyone.”

Rogue headed for the door.

“It only takes three minutes for the eggs,” Sully said.

Rogue grumbled. “It takes more than three minutes to wake sleeping beauty.”

“Three minutes,” Sully repeated as the screen door slammed. “And then I’m sending one of these two up.”

I laughed, and Blue took another sip of coffee.

Sully kept one eye on the stove and the other on the window. He tapped the spatula against the side of the pan and sipped his coffee as the eggs sizzled. As soon as two pieces of toast popped, he dropped two more slices into the toaster. He mumbled under his breath.

I glanced to Blue, and he shrugged.

“Can I help?” I asked him .

Sully smiled over his shoulder. “Plates are in the cupboard.”

Blue stood and grabbed forks and knives from the drawer. A minute later, Rogue returned with Jazzy.

“Morning.” She kissed Sully’s cheek on her way to the coffeepot. She blinked sleep from her eyes, and she yawned. “A yawn is a silent scream for coffee.” She filled a cup. “What’s up with the impromptu family meeting?”

If it were a family meeting, why were Blue and I here?

Sully flipped the eggs onto a plate, Rogue grabbed the butter and Tabasco sauce, and Jazzy plopped down across from me and propped one foot on her chair.

“Got some stuff I want to talk to you about.” Sully sat at the head of the table. “I’ve been thinking about this for a while.”

Rogue piled eggs and toast on his plate.

Jazzy set her foot on the ground and sat straighter. “This sounds serious.”

“For an old timer like me, it is.”

“You’re not old.” Rogue smeared butter on his toast.

Sully gruffed. “Then I’m just tired.” He wrapped his palms around his coffee mug. “The Hellers have changed. Can’t tell you how many times I fought with your mom about you being at the MC with me,” he said to Jazzy. “I’ve got a lot of regrets.”

A soft smile curled her lips. “I should’ve been a boy.”

Rogue grunted, and Jazzy rolled her eyes.

“Just listen. I ain’t saying things didn’t work out the way they were supposed to. My princess is wearing the patch. We’re not killing Crawlers or running drugs.” He grabbed my hand, squeezed, then let me go. “It ain’t your fault that you got hooked on our shit.” Then he pointed at me. “It’s all on you if you don’t stay clean. I know you need a place to stay. You can stay with me.”

I leapt out of my chair and wrapped my arms around him. “Thank you,” I said into his shoulder, then returned to my chair.

“No one’s going to rush you,” he continued. “But the Hellers are safe now. Just like my princess, we all know the MC is where you belong.”

Blue’s hand rested on my thigh beneath the table. I cast a quick glance at him, smiled, and shoved a forkful of egg into my mouth.

Sully took a sip of coffee and glanced at Rogue. “You and Blade got the club running the way we always wanted. Dozer’s keeping the peace. Romeo has the books profitable. My time is up. I’m retiring from the board. I’m telling you now,” he said. “I’ll come by the clubhouse tonight and talk to Blade and the others. I wanted to give you a few days to figure out who you want to replace me.”

“Seriously?” Rogue asked.

“Yep.” He smiled. “Fuck, I feel better getting that off my chest.” He grabbed another piece of toast off the stack and turned to me. “We need to get you some wheels. You can’t stay locked up all the time.”

“Dad,” Jazzy interrupted. “You need to slow down.” Her gaze shifted to me. “No wheels. Not yet. If you want to go somewhere, one of us will take you.”

Blue stood to refill his coffee. “If she needs to go somewhere, I’ll take her.”

My gaze shifted to Sully, and he winked.

After breakfast, Rogue went up to the apartment with Jazzy. Blue and I stayed in the kitchen and did the dishes while Sully grabbed a shower .

“Are you okay with me staying here?” I stood next to Blue. He rinsed the dishes, and I loaded the dishwasher.

“I think it’s great,” he said. “But you know that means it’s time for me to go.”

I paused with the plate in my hand. “I don’t want to be here without you.”

He took the plate from me and placed it in the dishwasher. He led me back to the table, turned two chairs to face each other, then sat.

“You have two choices, but I only have one option. I’m going to rent a room at the MC. You could stay with me. I want you with me, but you should stay here and stay clean. I’m not dragging you back to the MC.”

“It’s okay.” I reached for his hand.

“No, it’s not.” He stood and paced across the kitchen. “I know we’ve both got some fucked up baggage. You’re getting better, but I gotta be honest with you. I’m never going to unpack my shit.” He growled, raked his fingers through his hair, then stared hard into my eyes. “I want you. Fuck, Kiss.” He tapped two fingers to his temple as if he held a gun. “I’m fucked up in here. You shouldn’t want me .”

“Why? Are you going to be bad for me? Because we both know I become addicted to things that are bad for me. I’m always going to be an addict. Maybe you’re afraid you’ll become my new fixation.” I took a step closer to him. “You told me not to run from you.” I tipped my face to his. “Don’t run from us.”

“I’m not running. I’m warning you.”

“Haven’t you figured me out yet?” I stood in front of him and clasped my hands behind my back. “I want you, even fucked up. ”

He crashed his lips onto mine. My heart raced as he kissed me hard and filthy. Kissed me until the line blurred between where his mouth ended and mine began. He cradled my skull as his tongue glided against mine. I adjusted my hands, gripping my forearms behind my back. My nails clawed my skin, but I didn’t touch him. I gave myself, submitting to what he needed.

Heat slipped beneath my skin with the rough burn of his fingers along my neck. I felt him in the extremities of my body. I didn’t deny wanting more. I wanted all of him. Any way I could have him.

***

After Rogue and Blue rode off, I joined Jazzy in her apartment. The girl had mad skills at freaking everything. Since Rogue and Blue had been busy getting Willow’s house ready for the baby, the bathroom still hadn’t been repaired. She’d gone down to the garage and returned with a small piece of drywall, spackle, and a putty knife.

While she patched the hole, I cleaned the shower.

“Are you okay with me staying with your dad?”

Jazzy used the putty knife to smooth the spackle. “Yes, but I think we need to talk about what happens now.” She sat on the edge of the toilet. “How are you feeling?”

“Good. Clear.”

“Cravings?”

“Just every minute of every day.” I smiled. “But I’m not going to use.”

“What happens when you see old friends?”

“I don’t plan to see old friends.” Not my drug friends, and I wasn’t ready to hang out with Hellers, either. Not yet. Actually, I think I’d be okay at the MC. But my fears were tangled up with Romeo and Levi. At some point, I’d have to figure out how to face them. An apology wasn’t going to undo all the hurt I’d put us through.

“You can’t hide from life.”

“I know. I’m not going to.”

Jazzy let the topic drop. She turned on music. As she sanded the wall, I washed the few dishes in the kitchen sink. We opened windows and reminisced about some of the good times I’d forgotten about.

“Remember that night when the guys broke through the fence at the golf course, so they could have a paintball war.” Jazzy pulled dirty towels from the hooks and sorted them with the laundry.

“Oh my god.” Until Jazzy mentioned it, I had forgotten. “Why were we even there with them?”

“Because girls were worth two points. Those assholes.”

“Someone called the cops on us. Cop cars swarmed the lot, and they even had the helicopter with a search light.”

“Because it was reported we had assault rifles.”

I smiled remembering how scared the guys were. While they hid in the trees, we took the hit, giving ourselves up with our hands in the air and confessing we’d stolen our brothers paintball guns. We’d just gotten a warning, and the cops drove us home in the back of a squad car to scare us straight.

“Your dad acted so mad,” I said. “He promised the cops it wouldn’t happen again. I thought we were busted when he said we’d be punished.”

“Levi had tears on demand.” Jazzy laughed. “Then he went and picked up the boys, ordered pizza and colas, and proceeded to lecture us on the importance of not getting caught. ”

“Those were good times.” I folded the blankets on the couch.

“We’re going to have more of those good times. You’re part of the crew, Kiss. The MC is different now. But we’re not. We all love you.”

Holding the blanket against my chest, I sat on the couch. If I wanted Blue, I had to accept the MC. He was a Heller. “After what your dad said, I don’t know what to think. You say we’re all still a crew, but we’re not. Everything has changed.” I hoped I’d changed, too. “I don’t know the people you and Blue talk about.”

“Ask me. What do you want to know?”

I wondered about the new girls in the club, but I worried about the Hellers who were still there.

“Was Rogue angry that the club made Blade president?” As VP, when Razor died, he’d have been the natural replacement.

“Rogue pushed for Blade. Rogue is right where he wants to be.”

“I can’t imagine the old timers were happy about all the changes.” I was scared of those old timers. I had their secrets, and they had mine. I had regrets, but I wasn’t going to be ashamed for what happened in those back bedrooms. I’d rather focus on the anger.

I took responsibility for what I did with Razor. But drug addiction didn’t mean I asked to be raped.

This was the fucked up side effect of sobriety. Owning my truth. Hate flowed through me. I had a hard time even saying the names of the Hellers I wished dead. “What about Elvis and Slims?”

“Slims is serving life. Hopefully, someone shanks his ass. Elvis was a fucking traitor. Some things will never change. He’s dead because he betrayed the Hellers. He’s dead along with Wrench and the Crawlers. Because of them, we lost Texas, we nearly lost Bullet and Rogue. Tank is still sitting in prison.”

Because her voice was growing louder, Jazzy took a moment to calm herself. “It got bad, Kiss. Crawlers came to the MC. The guys were gone. They came after us. Levi, Hana, and me. Blade’s mom was there, and one of Bullet’s girls.” She grew quiet.

I folded my hands in my lap. “I didn’t know about all that.” But I couldn’t share what I did know. I couldn’t tell her I’d betrayed the Hellers, too.

Jazzy sat next to me. “Kiss, after that night, we changed as a club. Now, it’s good again, like it was when we were kids. Bikes and beer. Everyone laughs. Vance came back. They call him Torch now.”

“It was good to see him, but we didn’t talk.”

“You don’t have to worry about coming back. No one is pushing H or selling guns anymore. Some things will never change. Romeo is Romeo. He likes his weed.”

“Blue smokes weed. I can handle being around it. Black was always my weakness.”

“No one in the crew is doing anything more than a few drinks and a blunt.” Her lips twitched. “What I’m trying to tell you is that you have no reason to avoid your real friends. Those of us that are always going to be here for you.”

“I don’t know how to face Levi and Romeo.”

Jazzy huffed and stood. “I don’t want to come off insensitive to you. And by the way you’ve been with Blue, I don’t think it matters. Levi has always been your friend, and Romeo was never more than your ho.”

“I guess I was his ho, too.”

“Levi and Romeo are disgustingly happy. For a guy that everyone thought was incapable of commitment, he’s totally booed up and completely rocking the daddy vibe— I mean daddy as in fatherhood.”

I rolled my eyes. “You mean not like Rogue rocks the daddy vibe.”

“Exactly.” We both laughed.

After a late lunch of grilled cheese and tomato soup, Jazzy ran another load of laundry into the house, and I gathered up my few possessions and stuffed them into plastic grocery bags.

“Is your dad still home?” I asked her when she returned with clean clothes from the dryer.

“He rode my bike over to my mom’s. His ride is still in the shop, but I sent a text to Torch, asking how quickly he could have it ready. It feels right that he has it back before he retires from the board.”

“I’d love to see the look on his face.”

“You could. Have Blue bring you to the MC.”

I smiled. “Yeah, maybe.” But I already knew I wouldn’t go.

“Dad has no idea I had Hana, Blade’s old lady, paint the tank and fenders. She’s a beast artist. We all have her ink.”

Jazzy spun around and stripped off her shirt revealing a tattoo of a heart with a sword through the center. Blood dripped from the blade and a garland of thorns twisted around the handle.

“It’s incredible,” I said.

“You’ll have to see the tattoo she put on Romeo for you.”

I vaguely remembered Romeo showing me a heart over his chest the last time I was in the hospital after I overdosed. It was his way of letting me go because we were never good for each other.

Jazzy and I hauled my things over to the house .

“You can have my old room,” she said. “It has its own bathroom.”

“Which room is Blue’s?”

She pointed across the hall. “Dad is down the hall, but I promise, he can hear everything that happens in both rooms. The walls are thin.”

“I suppose that’s why he moved you out to the garage when we were teenagers.” I bumped my shoulder against hers.

Jazzy’s lips twitched with a smile. “Right reason, but wrong person. I could hear him and my mom.”

She popped open the door. The room was simple but clean. The spice of Rogue’s cologne and cigarettes scented the air. As soon as Jazzy finished her laundry, I’d wash mine. Having nothing clean to wear and getting settled gave me another excuse for why I couldn’t go to the MC.

Jazzy sat on the edge of the bed. “I wonder if Willow and Bear have my dad thinking about my mom. I don’t know. Sometimes, I think he regrets that they didn’t figure out a way to be together.”

After she left and headed back to the apartment, her words lingered in my mind. I didn’t want to look back with regrets, that Blue and I didn’t find a way to work. I had issues, but there was something wrong with Blue, too.

Blue

Sweat soaked the back of my shirt. I carried the left side of the sectional couch, and Rogue carried the right. Because Bear’s ass had permanently molded the old recliner in the living room, Willow had insisted on new furniture for the house .

The bathroom and kitchen each got a coat of paint. Levi’s old room had undergone a complete transformation. A fantasy mural covered one wall of the nursery. A mobile of jungle animals dangled over the crib against the wall. Willow’s old rocking chair was in the corner next to the window, and diapers were stacked in the changer.

“Willow wants to surprise Levi tomorrow after her doctor appointment.” Romeo popped another piece of Willow’s oatmeal cookies into his mouth. “Everyone is meeting here at three.”

“Fuck, man, you’re going to be a dad,” I said.

“I know. I wore condoms like a religion so I wouldn’t leave little Romeos out in the world. Now I got a kid coming, and I can’t fucking wait. I guess when it’s right, it’s right.”

“You know I want to be here,” I said, and Romeo nodded. “Jazzy needs to be, and I can’t leave Kiss alone.”

Not that I didn’t trust her. I believed her when she said she wouldn’t use. But I wasn’t going to contribute to her feeling alienated from her friends.

“Everyone knows she’s staying with Jazzy. That shit was never going to stay a secret.”

“Is Levi mad?”

“She’s feeling a bit spicy. I don’t know if you know this, but all the girls are crazy when it comes to you. She loves Kiss, but she’ll go off if Kiss pulls any shit with you. And she’ll have her crew of crazies with her.”

“Tell her she doesn’t need to worry.”

I followed Romeo outside. Rogue, Bullet, and Bear sat at the patio table.

“I can’t believe Sully’s ready to hang up his leathers.” The chair creaked as Bear adjusted .

Bullet laughed. “That’s what everyone is saying about you. Is the road telling you to call it a day?”

“Not the road.” He glanced to the house. Willow was somewhere inside.

“Sully is going to be buried on his bike. He’s just ready to slow down. The board is young now. He’s feeling his age.” Rogue pointed his cigarette at Bear. “No way your old lady gives up the MC.”

“I know Willow. She’s not going to be able to stay away from Levi and the little bean.” He turned to Romeo. “But she wants you and Levi to have the house.”

“Nothing I say is going to be enough,” Romeo said. “Thank you.”

Bear stood and patted Romeo on the shoulder. “Just take care of my girl.”

“You know I will.”

Rogue stood. “I guess I’ll see you all later at the MC,” he said to Romeo.

It would be an emotional night, knowing Sully would be retiring from the board. But what did that say about me? All I could think about was getting back to Kiss.

Bullet and Romeo backed their bikes out of the drive. Rogue and I were parked on the street. I expected him to follow Bullet and Romeo, but we headed in the same direction and parked next to each other in Sully’s driveway.

“I thought you were going to the MC,” I said.

“I am.” He dug into his pocket, pulled out a wad of money, and peeled off several bills. He handed them to me then rested a hand on my shoulder. “You’re on babysitting duty tonight.”

“You’re not paying me to watch Kiss. ”

She didn’t need a babysitter. She was through the worst of her withdrawals. If she used now, she’d be making the choice. She’d either fight her cravings or give into them.

Rogue laughed. “Fuck, Blue. That’s for the work on the house for Romeo and the little prude.”

I chuckled at Rogue’s nickname for Levi. She might come off quiet and sweet, but the girl had a fiercely protective side. And when it came to Romeo, she was straight up rabid.

“Take the fucking money,” Rogue said. “You need it.” We started up the stairs. “Tonight, Jazzy needs to be at the MC for her old man.”

Before we hit the top step, we could hear laughter from inside the apartment. Rogue pushed open the door. Kiss, standing on a chair in the kitchen, screamed.

“Fuck.” Wearing nothing but a towel across her breasts, and barely covering her body, Jazzy hysterically laughed and jumped around on the bed. Water dripped from her hair.

“You need to scare it this way.” Kiss held a blanket in both hands, ready to catch…something.

“Out,” Rogue said to me and stalked into the room, straight toward Jazzy.

“There was a mouse in the bathroom. I’d just stepped out of the shower, and the little fucker darted across my toes.” She ran her hands over his shoulders. “It scurried under the bed.”

He cupped her ass in his palms. “Fuck the mouse.” He mumbled something about fucking Jazzy.

Kiss dropped the blanket. “Time to go.” She grabbed my hand.

Jazzy squealed as Rogue toppled her to the bed. Kiss stepped out, and I quietly closed the door .

“I never would’ve pictured them together.” Kiss let go of my hand as soon as we’d taken a few steps. “I’d like to keep it that way. It was enough hearing them.”

“When?”

“A few nights ago.” She smiled at me. “They tried to keep it quiet.”

I opened the door to Sully’s place. I guess now it was Kiss’s place, too.

“Did you like to listen when you worked for Bullet?”

My heart kicked into second gear. “Not that I had a choice. Listening was my job. I had to be able to react if one of the girls called for me.”

The kitchen was spotless, and the house was quiet. The floor creaked as I followed her down the hall.

“I’m across the hall from you.” She opened the door to her room.

She had a private bathroom, a queen-sized bed, and there was a television on the wall above the dresser. I slid my hands into my pockets. I tried to appear relaxed, but I was a live electrical wire. We were alone in the house.

Tension ripened the air between us. I tried to control my breaths, slow and easy. Maybe, this time, I’d be able to stay out of my head. I took a step toward her, and she clasped her hands behind her back.

This was the girl I’d fallen for, the one who wasn’t strung out, but who accented her intense blue eyes with a fringe of false lashes. Pink gloss tinted her lips, and she’d pulled her hair back into a high ponytail. She’d transformed into my erotic fantasy. Sweet, yet naughty, an angel dipped in wickedness.

“We’re neighbors now.” She shifted from one foot to the other as I closed the space between us.

“I rented a room at the MC. ”

“Oh.” She let her arms fall to her side.

“But not for a couple of days.” Romeo and Levi had to move out. Then I was taking Pike and Brenna’s smaller room. Contrary to what Bullet said, Kiss wasn’t ready to live at the MC, and I wasn’t sure I’d ever be ready to live with her.

But I was going to fucking try. I was going to get out of my head.

“I won’t see you as much.” She sank her teeth into her lower lip.

“I’m only sleeping at the MC.” I countered her step away from me with a step closer. “I’m not walking away from this.” I curled my hand around the nape of her neck. “I’m not walking away from you. Do you want to go out with me tonight?”

“You mean, like a date?”

I smiled. “Yeah, like a date.”

“Should I ask Jazzy? I don’t want to screw this up.”

“Jazzy and Rogue are going to the MC tonight. It’s just you and me.”

“Sully’s going to tell the board he’s ready to retire. You should be there, too.”

“And give up the chance to be alone with you? No way.” Fuck, I fought the words like I was fighting a war. My insecurities flowed like acid through my veins.

A small smirk played on her lips. “Okay. A date.”

***

Tonight needed to be special. We’d hung out for months before the attack that laid me up and made Kiss disappear, but we’d never been on an official date. Dinner would be a good start, but what next? I didn’t want to spend our night in a dark theater where we couldn’t talk, and we’d both be thinking about sex. A club was out. I wouldn’t survive her body grinding against mine. Drinking, of course, was out.

We needed time together, but nothing that would bring on a temptation. Nowhere quiet and intimate, but I still wanted to hold her hand and find opportunities to kiss her.

I grabbed a shower and rubbed one out because I had no doubt I was going to yoyo with my dick throughout the night. I couldn’t look at Kiss without sporting an erection, and as soon as her hands were on me, my cock would revert to being a pussy.

After the shower, I still had no fucking clue where to take her for a date.

No way was I interrupting whatever Rogue was currently doing to Jazzy. I sent Hana a text.

Blue: I’m taking Kiss on a date.

She replied with clapping emojis.

Blue: I need a date idea.

Hana: Bring her to the MC. Everyone is here.

Blue: Never mind. I’ll figure something out.

I was fucked. A first date required more than five minutes of planning and a shit suggestion from Hana. A ride on the bike and ice cream wasn’t going to make an epic event. Maybe it didn’t matter. Just getting out of the house and going for a ride like we’d done in the past would be enough.

I changed into the nicest jeans I owned, a clean T-shirt, and shrugged on my cut. I splashed on some cologne, stomped on my boots, stuffed two hundred bucks into my pocket, and shoved the rest into the side pocket of my duffel.

My phone pinged.

Hana: Take her axe throwing.

Blue: Seriously ?

Hana: Trust me. It’s fun and sexy as fuck.

Blue: Can you text me the address?

Where the fuck did you throw axes? Hopefully not in the middle of some creeped out backwoods barn. She sent the address.

Hana: Make side bets. She inserted several emojis. That’s how Jazzy broke down Rogue.

Grabbing my helmet, I headed out of the room. Music seeped through Kiss’s closed bedroom door. I made my way to the kitchen.

Sully sat in a chair at the table. He rubbed a hand down his face and combed his beard with his fingers. “Are you hungry?” he asked without looking up.

“I’m good. Thanks.” I set my helmet on the counter and sat across from him. “I’ll be out of here in a couple of days. A room is opening up at the MC.”

Sully nodded. “You worried about Shae?”

I raked my fingers through my bangs, pushing them out of my eyes. “Always.”

“You being at the clubhouse will help convince her she belongs with the Hellers, too.” He leaned back in his chair and sipped his coffee. “Sometimes, we need a little motivation to do hard shit that we know is the right thing to do, even though it sucks. Even though it’s doing something you’ve never done before or giving up something you’ve always loved because you know it’s not good for you anymore.”

My brows furrowed, and my lips twitched with a smile as he continued to give himself a pep talk. “And maybe we don’t really want to do something. But we have to because we’re getting older. And if you think about what the changes mean for too long, you’ll find a reason to change your mind. And then you’re living with regrets. ”

I was pretty sure he was referring to his position on the board.

“Sometimes, you just have to say fuck it and take a chance,” I said.

“A leap of faith.”

I nodded.

“When it comes to Shae, you don’t need to worry. While she’s here, I’ll take care of her. She’s one of my girls. Now that we got her back, I’m not going to let her go.”

I wasn’t either. “I’m taking her out tonight.”

“A date?”

I nodded, and Sully leaned forward. “She’s a good girl, just got herself a little lost.”

“We’ve all done shit we’re not proud of.”

He laughed. “You’re a Heller, Blue. Trouble is going to find you.”

I glanced to the hall. “She has.”

Kiss walked into the kitchen, and my fucking heart slammed against my ribs.

A pair of jeans rode low on her hips, molded to every one of her curves, and tucked into black and buckle riding boots. A T-shirt didn’t quite meet the waistband of her jeans but clung to her tits. A diamond in her bellybutton caught the light when she moved.

Sully stood and put his cup in the sink. Kiss crossed the room. The French braid twisting her hair swished against her back. “Thank you for letting me stay here.” She wrapped her arms around Sully. “I want to be there for you tonight,” she whispered, her eyes glossy with emotion. “I’m not ready to be back at the clubhouse.”

He kissed her forehead. “I love you, peanut.”

“I love you, too. ”

The screen door opened, and Jazzy and Rogue came into the kitchen.

“Here.” Jazzy tossed Sully her motorcycle keys. “Take my bike. I’m riding with Rogue.”

Jazzy grabbed a couple of grapes from the bowl on the counter. Her blonde hair was tied up in a black bandana, black eyeliner rimmed her eyes, and her lips were blood red. She was fully sleaved in ink. With ripped jeans, a tight white tank top and her fucking heller cut, she wore her colors like a badass bitch.

She popped a grape into her mouth. “You know everyone will talk if you show up in a cage.”

“They’ll wonder if Heather finally has your balls in her purse.” Rogue leaned against the doorjamb, but his predatory gaze tracked Jazzy around the room. If Sully noticed the hickeys on her neck, he didn’t say shit. Jazzy might be patched, but she belonged to Rogue.

Sully slid his sunglasses over his eyes. “My old lady might not ride on the back of my bike, but she’s had my balls in her purse for thirty years.” He patted Kiss’s cheek. “When you’re ready, you’ll find your way back to the Hellers.”

Jazzy noticed my helmet. “If you guys are heading out, and you need a helmet, there’s one in the garage,” she said to Kiss.

Thirty seconds after they walked out of the kitchen, the rumble of Harleys faded into the distance. And we were alone.

“Are you ready?” I pulled my bike keys from my pocket.

While she grabbed a helmet from the garage, I checked the GPS. Did dinner come first on a date or after? Fuck if I knew. This was my first date. Not that I hadn’t been around girls, but Kiss had been the first girl I’d let get close. And she was still a thousand miles away from where I wished we were.

She climbed onto the back of my bike and wrapped her arms around my waist. Maybe more like nine-hundred-and-ninety-five miles away. Her fingers slid under my cut and held tighter. I cracked a smile, rolled the throttle, and pulled out of the driveway. Nine-hundred-and-ninety-four.