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Finn

“Oi, what do you reckon it’s going to be like in there?” Jax asks absent-mindedly as he paces up and down the roadside, arms outstretched to keep his balance on the gutters.

We’ve all met at the cafe down the road from Hearts Gate. They all met earlier for dinner, while I joined them a bit later after I woke up and got ready. Nikolo and Kai haven’t arrived yet, and the cafe has shut already, so it’s just left us loitering while we wait.

“I don’t know? Just like a bar? What do you mean?” Bedeer answers even though his voice is muffled by Jesminda’s head.

It’s snapped cold again tonight and they are using the chilly night as an excuse to get as close as possible. Jesminda has stuffed herself inside Bedeer’s jacket, zipping it up around the pair of them to keep them both warm.

“Well, vamps are old aren’t they?” He reaches the barrier at the curb and, in a surprisingly nimble move for a guy his size, he jumps and spins, landing perfectly on the gutter to make his way back to the group.

“And so they’ve all got different ideas of what’s cool or normal or whatever.

And this is the place where they are meant to be able to be themselves.

So do they dress up in the clothes from their day?

And like, what sort of music do they play there?

And biting’s going to happen right? Does it happen just out in the open or is it a private thing? Are we going to get bitten?”

To be fair, they are all perfectly valid questions. Ones we don’t have the answers to. Hearts Gate isn’t a secret club by any stretch of the imagination, but finding any information about it online is next to impossible. There’s no photos, no blog write ups, no social media. Nothing.

I mean, they do have a website, but it’s just a plain black page with an illustration of the wrought iron gates that seal off the property with their phone number and address.

Last weekend at the night markets I took the opportunity to pepper Kai with some questions, but he was pretty unhelpful.

When I asked what the dress code is, he said "everything". And when I asked if there was anything we should know before we went, he offered up “don’t stare.” I mean, what the fuck is that for advice?

I relayed it to the group chat, though. Which is probably why everyone’s looking at me like I have all the answers.

I shrug, shoving my hands in my coat pockets. My fingertips are starting to ache with the cold. I need some more blood too. My teeth feel funny and my stomach’s a bit queasy. That could be because this is the first time I’m seeing Kai in front of my friends since we started having sex.

It feels like they will be able to see all the dirty details written on my face.

“You know as much as I do. Kai just said that it’s intense. Just be chill and it’ll be fine.”

Jax pulls a face and stops his pacing. The big guy is nervous, and trying really hard not to show it. We’re all a bit nervous. Not that we think anything bad is going to happen, just that excited anticipation of something new and different .

“And like, thanks for coming with me here. I, uh, it’s cool. Not everyone is as okay about the vampire thing as you guys have been.” I keep my eye trained on the flickering bulb above Lusce’s head as I give the awkward thanks, trying to smoosh down the feelings bubbling up in my throat.

“Well, we are amazing.” Lusce throws his hair over his shoulder and laughs, pulling Jax in for a cuddle to warm up.

“That we are,” Jesminda agrees from inside Bedeer’s jacket. “And like we keep telling you, we like you and you’re our friend, so of course we are going to come to the super cool, underground vampire club with you.”

I huff a laugh and shake my head. Those damn feelings have clogged up my throat entirely and I don’t think I can really answer without spurting them all over the sidewalk.

“They're here.” Willan breathes next to me, his eyes laser focused on the two shadowy figures in the distance.

Kai and Nikolo make an incredible sight, prowling down the sidewalk like they own the place.

Their heavy black coats hide their outfits, but they still look like gods.

It’s unfair. Like Lusce, both are wearing makeup.

Nikolo has a smokey eye look that is somewhere between Kai’s smudged eyeliner and Lusce’s colourful work of art.

Nikolo barely even registers to me, though. I’m quite obviously staring at Kai, from the snickers of my friends, as Nikolo and Kai get closer. But maybe that’s okay, because Kai is staring at me too, the corner of his mouth hooked up with a smile.

When they reach our group, which morphed into a huddled sort of circle, they up-nod in greeting. Nikolo stands back, crossing his arms over his chest, a carefully neutral look on his face.

I’m still not sure what to make of Nikolo.

I can’t decide if he likes me or not. Mostly, I think he tries to avoid me, which is hard when I’m friends with his best friend, but I can’t shake the feeling that he’s always watching and more specifically, judging.

I’ve tried to tell myself I’m just being paranoid, but he doesn’t exactly go out of his way to be friendly.

Unlike Nikolo, Kai doesn’t hover at the outskirts of the group. Jax and Lusce are forced to separate as Kai gently pushes past them to get to me.

If I still breathed, the air would be rushing from my lungs when he stops directly in front of me—so close our shoes touch and the buttons of his coat press into mine.

I have to tilt my head back to look at him, and I gulp hard when I do.

This close, I can taste his scent. It’s times like this that I miss being able to smell like I used to.

It’s been a week since I’ve seen him and it feels like so much longer. I’ve spent every free moment—and far too many where I should’ve been doing something else, like working—thinking about what I would do when I saw him again.

But reality spoils the fantasy. I hadn’t quite considered the fact we would be seeing each other in front of my friends.

How exactly am I meant to greet him? With a kiss?

He’s my friend, one I’ve slept with, sure, but he’s not my boyfriend.

This isn’t a hurdle I’ve had to jump before. Not with Kai, or even before him.

Usually, we either meet on our own, or at his work—and it’s not like I can just haul him over the bar to make out, no matter how much I want to.

The boundaries between our friendship and our sex life are already blurring.

It’s a constant battle to defend the line and protect myself.

It would be all too easy to confuse his casual intimacy with something more.

His eyes flicker over my face, cataloguing my hesitation I suppose, as his tongue lightly brushes over his bottom lip.

“Hey,” he says softly, tapping my arm with his elbow .

My heart plummets at the explicitly friendly greeting. I mean, it only makes sense, but fuck, that doesn’t soothe the sting it leaves.

“Oh my Gods, can we just go? It’s freezing out here and some of us actually feel the cold.” Lusce complains, stamping his feet and interrupting the moment.

“Uh, yeah, definitely. It’s just that way,” Kai says as he takes a small step back and points down the street.

Even though they’ve all met in passing before, I introduce everyone again. And honestly, it could be a whole lot more awkward than it is walking down the street to Hearts Gate.

I mean, Lusce is being his usual overly-flirtatious self with Nikolo. And Nikolo and Willan seem to be acting like the other doesn’t exist. And Bedeer and Jesminda are still literally all wrapped up in each other, but all in all it could be worse.

I mean, no one’s dead or critically injured, right?

Kai leads the way, with me right by his side, making small talk about what we’ve been up to.

Our arms brush with each step and he goes out of his way to nudge me as many times as he can.

My hands are itching to reach out and take his, but we’ve both got them firmly stuffed in our pockets to keep warm.

“Right, so, it’s still pretty early. This is like, nine in the morning for vamps, so it’ll be pretty quiet.” Kai stops and turns to the group like a school teacher addressing the class.

The building is one of the oldest in Osneau.

Which makes sense, because the club itself is centuries old.

Flanked by towering office buildings, Hearts Gate looks a lot like what it is—a historical mansion plonked in the middle of a modern city.

At four stories tall, it’s only half the height of the buildings around it but it’s still imposing with its columns, carved decorative details, fearsome gargoyle statues and flaming torches.

The completely shuttered windows are also a pretty stark reminder about what lurks inside too.

Behind Kai is the gated entry to Hearts Gate.

The iron fence, with its wicked sharp spikes encloses the portico, barring the steps leading up from the footpath.

On the tall, arched gate looming over us is the namesake heart of the club.

Made of a bronze-looking metal, the large human heart is anatomically correct and wrapped in what appears to be a spiked strap.

The craftsmanship is incredible, but it certainly isn’t a welcoming sight.

“Keep your eyes to yourselves,” Nikolo adds to Kai’s warning. “Remember you are guests here. You’re the unusual sight, not them.”

Looks are shared around my friends at Nikolo’s harsh tone. I almost think he’s doing it on purpose, to scare everyone. It’s working—even I have a sliver of nerves sliding through me that makes me want to edge closer to Kai for safety.

“If at any point you do feel uncomfortable, just let us know, okay? You cannot be made to participate in anything you don’t want to. If anyone gets pushy, let us or a staff member know.” At least his clarification is somewhat, not nice, but at least helpful.