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“And we both know that was a lie.” He winks and crosses his arms over his chest. It’s a practiced move; I’m pretty sure he’s flexing to really make the muscles pop. I manage to stand without falling into a puddle of desperation on the floor and shove my phone in my pocket.

“See you soon, Finn.”

The further I get from the bar, the more surreal the night seems. It would be all too easy to take Kai’s flirting seriously.

It’s an absurd idea really, and by the time I’m on my bus and nearly home, I’ve managed to get my head on straight.

He’s hot, he’s friendly and he’s a flirt.

That doesn’t mean he’s into me, or that he even actually wants me to go back .

I probably won’t even go anyway, I tell myself, as I slide into bed, the blackout blinds blocking the first whisper of dawn creeping over the horizon.

It would be silly to go back. A terrible decision, I decide, as I click over to my other Crumbles account and scroll through the HVB channels.

I probably should have told him that he and Nikolo have their own dedicated fan channels.

But then I’d have to explain how I know about them.

It’s just another reason to not go back.

I find my favourite video. I used to fear normal things like heights and snakes. Now my number one fear is that the user deletes their profile and I lose these videos. I haven’t saved them—it’s a step too far even for me.

The video plays on a loop. It’s my favourite for a reason.

Not just because it’s a compilation of Kai’s hottest moves.

The way he shakes his ass on the bar top is one thing.

So is the way he rolls his hips against it like he’s fucking the air, the flashing lights of the club spotlighting the way the muscles of his thighs flex and quiver.

But there is a single moment, a flash in between cuts, where Kai is running his hand down his naked, perfectly sculpted chest to toy at the waistband of his shorts.

His eyes have fallen shut and his lip is between his teeth, that perfect left fang gleaming in a neon blue spotlight.

The look on his face is pure bliss. I pause the video and zoom in on his face until the image is distorted and I have to zoom back out.

It’s a face that could topple civilizations.

I hold off as long as I can, but before I know it, my hand is snaking beneath my quilt and over my belly.

I don’t bother drawing it out, dawn is too close and the shame is too great.

My hand is a little too dry as I grip my length.

Precum slicks my sensitive head, but it’s not really enough.

It doesn’t matter, though, this will be quick .

Pumping my fist and my hips in time, I chase my release with almost punishing ferocity.

The video restarts and the sound is sharp in the otherwise silent room.

The only sounds, the shuffling of my palm on my cock and the tinny dance track looping on my phone.

Kai flashes again and again. Taut abs, a glimpse of his fang.

Subconsciously, I try to keep pace with each clip, but they move too quickly, so I’m left just erratically humping into my hand.

Despite the frantic way I’m racing to get myself off, the first tingles in my balls take me by surprise.

I change my mind. I want to draw it out, take every ounce of pleasure I can out of the moment.

But it’s too late. It begins in my toes, rippling through me until I’m curling in on myself, angling my dick so I come on my stomach, and not all over my quilt.

The shame was already there before the post-nut clarity kicked in, but now it’s ten-fold.

I don’t let myself enjoy the last flickers of the orgasm rolling through my limbs.

I just silently clean myself up with the tissues I keep beside the bed and put my phone on charge, thankful that dawn will claim me soon enough.

***

I’m back. I couldn’t help it.

It’s not even the first time I’ve broken my promise to myself to avoid the place since I first swore I’d stop coming three weeks ago.

It’s becoming a problem. Bedeer and his friends keep inviting me out with them to go do normal things.

But I keep shooting them down to come and loiter around here.

My excuses are wearing thin. Bedeer knows my work schedule.

He knows I have no life outside of work and home and my Crumbles threads—I got him addicted to them too and now he sends memes and shitposts he comes across.

What he doesn’t know is that I’ve already seen most of them.

I wouldn’t dare tell him that, though. He’s always so proud.

At least Kai isn’t always on shift when I’m here. I mean, it’s better when he is, obviously. Especially on nights when it’s not too busy and he can stop and shoot the shit. It’s never anything deeper than work or the dumb stories on Crumbles but when I make him laugh with one of those?

It feels like I could fly.

At least I can honestly say I’m not here for him tonight.

The familiar energy of the club is cleansing as it washes over me. I can already feel the knots in my spine loosening as I make my way to what is fast becoming ‘my spot’ at the main bar.

It’s nearly the weekend, and the place is still busy with the after work crowd, but I know they’ll be clearing out soon enough.

Last time I was in, the security guards, Aiden and Erod, had given me the rundown on the comings and goings of the club's clientele. And now I know that even with winter nearly over, it’s cold enough that the office workers clear out by ten at the latest. Then there is a dead period for a few hours until the vamps knock off work and come in for their after work drinks before dawn.

“What’s wrong?” Kai asks before my ass even hits the stool.

Belinda is on tonight too, and so is Lifo, but he doesn’t drift over like she does. It takes me a moment to gather myself back together. I didn’t realise that my feelings were that transparent. Kai watches me carefully, his dark brows puckered as he mixes a drink.

“Nothing. I’m fine. How are you guys?” I try to smile, but it feels brittle. My cheeks quiver with the effort of maintaining the too wide, almost manic grin .

Kai shares a look with Belinda, who bumps his elbow and nods at me with a “would you look at this guy” eye raise.

Apparently, I’m fooling no one.

Kai pours the cocktail into the glass, adding a cherry and slice of dried orange on the side and slides it across to me.

“Oh, I didn’t—” I begin to stutter, but Kai waves me off.

“On the house. Tell us what happened.”

He stands back, arms folded over his chest, mirroring Belinda’s no nonsense stance. It’s a lot to be stared down by the both of them.

“I can’t accept—” I’m interrupted again, this time by Belinda.

“Yes, you can. But for the love of the Gods and their tiny being babies, spill . I have work to do.” She makes a hurrying up gesture, but softens her impatience with a smile.

“It’s nothing. Seriously.” I shift uncomfortably on my stool, trying to cross my legs before I realise I can’t and picking up my glass for something to do with my hands. “I just had a run in with someone at the supermarket. I went to buy blood and the guy was all weird about it.”

Kai and Belinda wince as one.

“Ouch,” Kai says, leaning across the bar to pet my arm reassuringly. It’s the type of casual, friendly touching I’m still not used to from him. It makes my heart lurch every single time. And tonight is no exception.

“Ooft.” Belinda sucks at her teeth. “Being a baby vamp is rough, hun. I wish I could say it gets better, but really, you just get better at letting it roll off your back. It was a him problem, love. Not you. Remember that.”

She pats my arm too, and not even a flicker out of my stupid heart. It does make me feel a smidgen better, though, and I smile a little more genuinely this time, my head bobbing.

“Yeah, it’s not the first time. It just… extra-sucked today. ”

It really wasn’t the first time I’ve faced vamp-haters in the wild. Sometimes it even works in my favour—no one ever wants to sit next to me on the bus. But tonight really shook me. I wasn’t lying when I said it wasn’t even a big thing.

I got sent home early from work because we were overstaffed, so I decided to swing by the supermarket to pick up some blood.

When I got to the front of the line, the checkout attendant had a low-key freakout when I asked him to get the blood out of the locked fridge.

He stood as far away from me as he possibly could, going out of his way to make sure that his hands didn’t touch mine when he took my vamp ID card, which is kind of impressive because he was shaking like a leaf.

I knew the guy was scared—I just couldn’t believe he was scared of me of all things. I couldn’t even catch flies when I was a cat . How am I scary? What exactly did he think I was going to do? Leap over the counter and drain his blood right there in front of everyone?

The guy looked like he could squash me like a bug. And it was six in the evening, for fuck’s sake!

There was a family doing their grocery shopping.

A group of teenagers trying to buy condoms. A trio of old grandpa looking men grumbling about the teenagers.

All of them, right there . And this big guy, with a tattoo covering his head, and sharp, stabby looking horns looked at me like I was some kind of monster.

“Wanna talk about it?” Kai asks when Belinda wanders off to go talk to Lifo about stock levels.

I take a sip of the drink he made me. It’s good. Really good. Like my regular blood-apple martini with a twist of something extra.

“Absolutely not.” I manage to smile for real this time and take another sip. “Tell me about what’s been going on here instead. ”

Kai laughs again. It’s low and warm and turns my insides to jelly. I’m positively molten as he leans across the bar again, resting on his elbows so he can get as far into my personal space as he can.