Page 44 of Bittersweet Revenge (Sins of the Father #1)

Dean

I feel like I’ve been run over by a truck.

My eyes flutter open, and the first thing I see is a large window across from me. I’m in a room I don’t recognize. It doesn’t look like any hospital room I’ve ever seen, but one glance down shows an IV in my arm.

What the fuck?

Flashes of memories begin to come back to me—Tiernan tied up, his father holding a gun to his head. Me putting down my weapon to try and save him…being shot…then Tiernan leaning above me, crying.

My pulse spikes, running a marathon beneath my skin. What happened after that? Is he okay? “Tier-nan.” My voice cracks on his name. I turn my head slowly to the side, unable to move too quickly, but then I see him—sitting in an armchair, eyes closed in sleep.

“Dean! You’re awake,” Aislin’s voice comes from the other direction. I look her way as she steps up beside the bed. “Hey. You’re back.” She smiles, then kisses my forehead.

Why is she being so nice? The last thing I remember is she hated me, and she has every reason to. “Where am I?” I manage to ask, voice rough and broken.

“You’re at our house. We have a doctor we call when we need help. He’s been seeing you. You were shot between your shoulder and chest and lost a lot of blood. Luckily, it didn’t hit anything major. You’ve been in and out of it for a few days. It was scary…you should have woken up earlier.”

Shit. That’s a lot to take in. It makes my brain spin.

“I’m so sorry for being upset with you. I know who you are, and you wouldn’t hurt us…wouldn’t hurt Tiernan. He told us what you did for him…that you put yourself in danger for him. I…”

“I lied to you.”

“You were defending your family…first with your parents, and then my brother. That’s all that matters to me.”

“Cillian and Rory?” I ask, afraid of the answer.

“You sacrificed yourself for Tiernan. He explained it to us, so we understand. You’re not losing us.”

My eyes tear up. Jesus, I’ve never cried as much in my fucking life as I have recently, and I don’t fucking like it. “Thank you. I won’t lie to you again. You’re the only family I have.” The family I was meant to have. I know it to the marrow of my bones.

“I know.” She rubs a hand over my head. “Now I’m going to wake my brother up. Since you got here, he’s only left this room when he was forced to.”

I nod and watch her, afraid to take my eyes off her, afraid this is all a dream. If it is, I don’t want to wake up.

Aislin gently shakes Tiernan’s shoulder. His eyes pop open but don’t linger on Aislin. They almost immediately find me.

He scrambles to his feet, still half asleep, stumbling as he rushes over to me, bending over the side of the bed. “I will fucking kill you if you ever do that to me again.”

I hear the door open, then close, and know Aislin slipped out.

“Won’t that defeat the purpose? I’ll still be dead.”

“No one is allowed to kill you but me.” He gives me a sad smile before taking my hand in his, dipping lower to kiss it. “I was so fucking scared. Don’t do that to me again. If you have a gun, you fucking shoot. I don’t care what they say about me.”

“Would you have?”

“That’s not the point.”

I roll my eyes, but I can’t deny it feels good to be loved this much by him, to be wanted this much by Tiernan. “We take care of each other. That’s how it’s gotta be. Who’s the one who left in the middle of the night? Or is that not the point either?”

He grins, his hair hanging down in his face like it always does. “We take care of each other.”

I smile, my eyes feeling heavy again. I’m still so fucking tired. I feel like I could sleep for a week. “Your father?”

“Dead the way he deserves. I’ll explain everything later. Get some more rest. Your body needs to heal.”

“Don’t. Wanna. Be. Away. From. You,” I admit, without opening my eyes. The bed shifts, and Tiernan climbs in with me before I drift off to sleep.

*

I feel more normal the next time I wake up. I can tell they’ve been giving me medication because I have that groggy feeling pain meds can give. I’m sure I’m on some hefty doses of antibiotics too.

Of course they would have their own…dirty doctors? I don’t know what else to call them. People who are willing to take care of those they know are doing illegal shit.

The other side of the small bed is empty, but one look tells me Tiernan is still in the room with me. He’s reading a book in the armchair, but as if feeling my gaze on him, he looks up and smiles.

“You don’t look half dead anymore.” He walks over.

“I guess that’s a good thing.” I scoot over as far as I can, silently telling him I want him in bed with me again. I need to be able to touch him, to feel him. I might not ever let him out of my sight.

Tiernan doesn’t need me to use words. He simply lies beside me, careful not to jostle me.

“You look tired,” I tell him.

“It’s been busy. I’ve been doing as much as I can from here. I’m surprised you didn’t hear us. There were times Mom, Conan, and I were all in here, figuring shit out.”

Because he wouldn’t leave my side. This man who can be so cruel to others, who has pulled the trigger more times than I know, also has a huge fucking capacity to love, and somehow, I’m one of the people he’s chosen to give it to.

“What happened?”

“My mom…she fucking turned into John Wick or some shit. She got concerned when Ash called looking for me. She figured out where my father was and fucking went out there by herself, Dean. She slit Oscar’s throat, came inside, shot my father, kept me from losing my shit about you, and just…

handled business. It was wild seeing her that way.

I’ve heard stories, of course, and I’ve always known she’s a badass, but I never saw it.

He’s sucked so much life out of her over the years…

I hate to say it, but I thought she’d lost it. ”

“She loves her son,” whispers past my lips. “There’s nothing a good mom won’t do for her kids. Seeing what happened to my father, hiding with me, spending her life on the run with me. I guess that’s what they do.” Still, I hate that Fia had to do it. That all this went down because of me.

“Yeah, I guess so.” He smiles, then rolls toward me. I wince when pain shoots through my shoulder. “Fuck. What’d I do?”

“Nothing. Don’t leave.”

There’s a soft knock at the door before it slowly pushes open.

An older woman with dark hair comes in. She’s a mixture of Tiernan and Aislin, with tired eyes that have small wrinkles around them. A man is behind her, tall, wearing a dark suit and a scowl. He closes the door behind them.

“Sorry to interrupt,” the woman says—Fia, I’m assuming. “Rian is on his way over, and he’ll want to see Dean.”

Tiernan tenses beside me.

“Have you told him anything yet?” the man asks Tiernan.

“I was about to, but then you two came in.”

“We don’t have time to play games here, kid. You vouched for him, but this is some serious fucking shit we’re in, and I need to know he can keep his mouth shut.”

“Fuck off, Conan. I said he’s good, so he’s fucking good,” Tiernan snaps. “He just woke up from being shot. He’s all doped up.”

“It’s fine,” I say, trying to scoot up farther in the bed. “Tell me what I need to do, and it’ll happen.”

Tiernan curses and sits up beside me.

“No one can know who you are. You came here as Dean Smith, and that’s who you need to stay,” Conan says.

“That’s fine. I planned on it anyway.” As sad as it is, Riordan Sullivan died the day my father did.

I became a different boy, who grew into a different man.

Riordan was my mom’s sweet boy, the one who wouldn’t have gone chasing exactly what my parents tried to protect me from.

It hurts to know that, to admit it, to not be what they wanted, but I don’t know how to be anyone else.

It’s in my bones, so fucking tangled up in who I am, that now I don’t think I’d exist at all if it wasn’t for the future I hopefully have laid out for me.

“I’m serious. People risked their lives for you. Fia and Tiernan could have died for you. This isn’t something you can go back on.”

“I know,” I tell Conan. “You think I don’t fucking know what they risked for me? I would have died for Tiernan. I will right now if I have to. I’ll kill for him. There’s nothing I won’t do for him.”

Is it me, or is Conan trying to bite back a smile? I don’t know him well enough to tell.

“Good. I’ll hold you to that,” he tells me.

“Anytime.”

“Conan, go easy on him.” Fia touches his shoulder, and…oh Christ. He’s in love with her. The way he looks at her spills every one of his secrets. Does she know? Are they together? Does Tiernan know?

“I’m saving his life, Fia. And risking all of ours in the process,” he counters.

My heart jumps to my throat. “What? No. You can’t do that. I’m not worth that.”

Conan nods toward Tiernan. “To him, you are. Don’t fuck it up. Don’t let him down.”

All this over a name? I came here planning to be Dean. None of this makes sense. Why would I out myself and risk my life now? “What else is happening?”

“My dad’s death…it can’t go unpunished,” Tiernan answers for him. “No matter who it was.”

Blood rushes through my ears, the room around me echoing. Fia. She would need to die for this? She was protecting Tiernan, but to them, Tiernan isn’t as important as his father.

“Say it was me. I’ll take the blame. They can do whatever the fuck they want to me.”

This time, Conan doesn’t hold back his smile. To my surprise, Fia doesn’t either.

“I told you.” Tiernan smirks.

“That’s easy to say, but a whole lot harder when you’re being tortured,” Conan argues.

“I wouldn’t crack. I would never betray him. I just fucking told you that.” The edge to my voice is obvious.

Conan cocks a brow. “You were right,” he tells Tiernan. “He’s stupid but brave.”

“I didn’t call him stupid.” Tiernan looks at me. “I said you need to learn to control yourself better.”

I roll my eyes, though he’s right.

“The point is,” Fia interrupts, “we had to create another version of what happened that day.”

“Without risking a war and blaming another family,” Tiernan adds.

“Sloan O’Shea was shot by a couple of dumb young guys high on drugs,” Conan begins.

“They didn’t know who he was. It happened in the city, at one of his buildings, when he and Tiernan met for business.

Tiernan brought you with him as a test run, and the two of you fought back and killed them.

You were shot in the process. Tiernan called me, and we took care of the cleanup ourselves.

We’re in trouble for not telling Rian or anyone else before we went.

Rian is going to want to discuss this with you to make sure you can be trusted. ”

My head is spinning with all this news. “How? You moved the body? No one heard the shooting in the city? Cops? What about bodies?” None of this makes sense to me.

“Conan has police connections,” Tiernan explains.

“People had to die for this to be plausible, but it was a couple of guys who’ve done some really disgusting shit.

The police haven’t been able to get anything to stick, so we took care of the problem for Conan’s connection at the station, and he, in turn, helped us with our own.

Everything can be manipulated, little fighter.

That’s how we get away with what we do.”

“But there’s always a risk of getting caught,” Conan says. “Tomorrow or five years from now. This could come back on all of us. You have to decide right now, Dean. You’re either completely in this with us, or you disappear.”

Conan doesn’t flinch when Tiernan flies out of the bed and shoves him against the wall.

“Who needs to learn control?” Conan asks calmly.

“I told you he’s fucking good. Don’t threaten him,” he growls.

“Tiernan. Stop it,” Fia scolds. “We don’t have time for this. Conan is putting himself at a huge risk for us.”

“Tiernan…stop. He’s right,” I tell him. “He’s right to question me.”

This is the moment. My whole life teeters on the edge. If I step forward, if I agree, there’s no turning back. I know firsthand what happens when you try. My father learned that lesson the hard way. I exhale, then take that step over the edge. “I’m in. Whatever I need to do, I’ll do it.”

This doesn’t mean I’m part of their crew, but I’ve taken one step closer. I’ve entangled myself with them even more than just being in love with Tiernan.

I’m sorry, Mom…Dad… I love you, but this is who I am.

Tiernan backs away, and Conan straightens his suit. “Good. I assume I don’t need to tell you what happens if you betray us.” Without another word, he walks out.

The room is quiet for a moment, Tiernan looking like he’s still trying to come down from his anger.

I flinch when his mom walks over to me, unsure what she’ll do.

Slowly, she reaches up and cups my cheek. “I can see her in you,” she says softly. “Audrey was my best friend. I loved her. I helped them plan to get away, and when Sloan found out, I was the one who warned them. I’m so sorry Liam didn’t make it and that Audrey’s gone now too.” Her hand falls away.

I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. There’s a rock stuck in my throat, tears welling in my eyes. I’ve never gotten to hear someone talk about my parents, never known anyone who knew them. “Thank you,” I manage to say. “She spoke highly of you too.”

“When this is all over, I can tell you some stories about her. We had fun together.”

“I, um…I’d appreciate that.” Somehow, her words help me feel like I’m making the right decision. We’re not good, any of us, but we’re not all bad either. There are layers and nuances to all of us, and we’re all just doing the best we can.

“Be good to my boy.” She winks.

“Jesus, Mom.”

“I will,” I reply. She turns to walk away, but stops when I say, “Wait.”

“Yes?”

“She didn’t want this for me, but I love him…and I think I need it. Do you think she would understand?”

Fia gives me a sad smile, her eyes welling with tears. “She was a romantic. She loved love, and she loved your father. She understood making sacrifices. You try to be as good as you can, you don’t let the hate and power take over. That’s how you can still honor her.”

I nod, wiping away tears, before she follows Conan, leaving us alone again.

I don’t know if we’ll make it out of this, if they’ll figure out we’re lying and all this shit will blow up in our faces, but what I do know is they’re my family.

Aislin and Tiernan. Cillian and Rory. And maybe one day, Fia will see me as family too.

Because I will never leave her son’s side, I will never betray him, and anything we face, we’ll do it together.

I look up, hold Tiernan’s gaze. “I love you.”

“I love you too. You’re mine. No one will ever take you away from me.”

No one will ever take him away from me either.