Page 36 of Bittersweet Revenge (Sins of the Father #1)

Dean

M y eyes pop open the second I feel the mattress shift. I can only see the shadow of him, but I know it’s Tiernan. “You’re home.”

“Shh.” He leans over me, lowers his mouth to mine. He flicks his tongue against my lips, and I open to let him in. I taste toothpaste, smell soap. He couldn’t have showered in the room because I would have woken up, but it’s clear he did it somewhere recently.

His body comes down on mine, Tiernan kissing me hard, rutting against me. I’m in my boxer briefs, but when I wrap my arms around him to grip his ass, I feel he’s naked.

I knead his cheeks while we thrust together, his cock against my cloth-covered one.

We kiss and touch but don’t make any moves to go any further.

One of my hands travels up his back, then threads through his hair.

I grip Tiernan tightly, needing to feel him, glad nothing happened to him and he’s back with me.

Eventually, the kissing slows down, lazy but still hungry, until he pulls his lips from mine.

“Are you okay?” I ask, still playing with his hair.

“Yes. I’m always okay.”

“You don’t have to be with me.” It’s wild, the change in us. The change in me. My rough edges aren’t gone, but they are smoother with him.

“Thank you, but I’m fine. It is what it is.” Tiernan gets off me and sits beside me. I miss the weight of him instantly.

Leaning over, I turn on the light. His gun is on the nightstand, his phone beside it. When my gaze lands on his face, I tense at the bruise on his cheek.

Angry heat flushes through me, and it takes everything inside me to keep my voice steady when I ask, “Who did that to you?”

Tiernan doesn’t answer right away, just sits there, naked, with his back against the headboard. His cock, hard against me just moments ago, is already softening.

“I hate myself for not standing up to him,” are the first words he says. “There is no one in this fucking world who can make me feel weak other than him.”

My teeth grind together, making pain shoot through my jaw. His father. Of course it’s his fucking father. “You do what has to be done.”

“I could take Ash and my mom and run.”

Memories flash through my head—moving around, Mom being afraid all the time, being so fucking careful because Sloan’s power doesn’t stop at the Massachusetts state line. “That’s no life for anyone.”

“And this is?” He points to his face. “I don’t give a fuck about the rest of it. That’s who I am. It’s who I’ll always be, but this? I should fucking kill him for touching me, but I won’t. I’ll just…continue to do what he says.”

“To keep yourself safe. To keep your family safe. You think I can’t see that you do it for them? Even without the details, I know that because I know you. And it’s not so easy to get out, even if that’s what you wanted.” My father tried and died because of it.

“I killed someone tonight. I won’t sugarcoat who I am for you, and I didn’t have a good reason like I did with Jensen.

I did it because my father told me to, because he wants what doesn’t belong to him.

And I did it knowing that what he’s taking hurts my mom.

That’s what disgusts me. I love her. Why do I help him hurt her? ”

My heart breaks for him, at the pain and self-loathing in his voice. I’m not sure what to tell him, how to make this better. I’m not good with words or feelings. I’m actively hurting him by lying to him every fucking day. “Tiernan…”

“Draw me,” he interrupts.

“What?”

“Draw me while I’m awake this time, while I can watch you do it.”

I don’t know why he wants this, but I’ll give him any fucking thing I can. With a nod, I get up and grab my supplies before sitting on the bed again. “Relax against the headboard…cock your head slightly.” Tiernan does as I say. “Yes, like that.”

He’s got one leg bent, the other straight out. He’s completely soft now, his dick against the bent leg, his pubes dark and curly. I want to bury my face in them, maybe spend all night right there between his legs, sucking his cock and breathing him in.

I scoot back, at an angle where I hope he can see me work, set a pillow on my lap, the sketchbook on top of that, and begin to draw.

Somehow, this feels like one of the most important things I’ve ever done, like I need to show Tiernan how beautiful he is to me, show him exactly what I see when I look at him—strength, pride, fierceness, loyalty, and heart.

With each movement of my pencil, I’m showing him how I feel, that I love him and want him. That he’s the fucking world to me and there’s nothing I wouldn’t burn to the motherfucking ground for him.

“You’re cute when you concentrate,” he says after a while.

“Shh.” I bite back a smile and keep going, wanting this to be something he can be proud of.

My hand begins to hurt, but I don’t stop. I would draw all day and night if I had to.

“You’re biting your lip. That’s my job.”

This time I can’t hold back my smile. “You’re distracting me.”

“Angle it down a little so I can see.”

“Shut up. I’m almost done.”

Now, it’s his turn to smile, and as cheesy as it sounds, he nearly steals my breath.

My hand has a mind of its own now, moving without direction from me, like somehow, it has its own obsession with him the way I do. Minutes tick by, but Tiernan is good about not moving, until finally I’m finished.

I lift up the sketchbook and hold it against my chest.

“Let me see. Show me what I look like through your eyes.”

That’s exactly what I tried to do, what he apparently needed me to do.

I hand him the sketchbook. Tiernan looks at it, studying it. With each passing second, I find it harder to breathe. He’s seen my artwork before. I showed it to him when I don’t do that with anyone, but I still feel more raw, more laid bare than I ever have.

Finally, he says, “My dick is bigger than that.”

A chuckle jumps from my mouth.

Tiernan sobers, tracing the lines of the artwork the way he did the first time I showed it to him. “It’s beautiful, Dean.”

“It’s only beautiful because you are.”

Tiernan’s breath hitches. I’m probably the hundredth person to tell him that in his life, but I doubt any of them elicited that sound. Just me. Just us.

“Sit against the headboard,” he instructs, and I do. A second later, Tiernan is between my legs, his back against my chest, using me for support. I know what this is. He’s giving himself to me, trusting me even more, using me to hold him up in a way he wouldn’t with anyone else.

And I don’t deserve it.

I run the fingers of one hand through his hair, the other dancing up and down his torso. Like that moment in the shower, a tear slips out because I know what I have to do…and I know it will make me lose him.

I kiss the top of his head. “The boy who used to color is me.”

Tiernan stiffens against me. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

“He was me, Tiernan. We knew each other when we were young.”

He jerks away from me, the temperature in the room shooting up with him. “What the fuck does that mean, Dean? You better tell me right now.”

He has murder in his eyes, his breathing fast and hard, but I don’t move.

Don’t try to put any distance between us to keep myself safe.

If he doesn’t want me to walk out of this room alive tonight, I won’t put up a fight.

I’ve always known it would be Tiernan who kills me.

Maybe it’s just going to happen sooner than I thought.

“My father’s name was Liam Sullivan. He met your father when they were in high school. He became…enamored with him. Saw the power he already wielded, knew who his family was, and he wanted it too.”

Tiernan shoves off the bed, tugs on a pair of underwear, then lifts the bottle of whiskey from the bar and pours a glass.

“They became friends. He was in your father’s crew for years.

He met my mom, and they fell in love. Neither had any family, and yours became that.

They were alone, wanted something to hold on to in the world…

” Just like me, isn’t it? They went looking for acceptance and connection in Tiernan’s family and found it, and while that wasn’t my plan, I’ve done the same.

And just like my father, I’ll die because of it.

What a sad stroke of irony. The difference is, for me it will be worth it because I had Tiernan.

“Our moms were really close. Even after everything went down, she said Fia was her best friend. She missed her. She loved her.”

Tiernan swallows everything in his glass, then runs a hand through his hair, pacing the room. “Keep talking.”

“After I was born, my mom started having second thoughts about their lifestyle. She worried about my father being killed or something happening to me. She was stressed and overwhelmed by it all every day. It consumed her. My father…he just loved her. Loved me. He wanted us to be happy. To be a family. When he saw what it was doing to my mom, he knew he had to get us out.”

Tiernan doesn’t speak, doesn’t stop moving, the anger rolling off him like steam.

“They weren’t going to steal anything. They would never have ratted. They just…needed a different life, or my mom was going to lose her mind. They planned to leave.”

“You don’t just fucking leave.”

“I know,” I reply, then move so I’m sitting on the edge of the bed.

“My father did too. That’s why he had a plan for us to get out without him.

Your father found out, felt betrayed. They came to our house in the middle of the night.

They would have killed us all, but my mom hid with me…

Sloan put a bullet in his head, and I saw the whole fucking thing.

” My hands fist, my anger bubbling up because it’s hard to talk about that, to remember it, even though this moment, betraying Tiernan, is also breaking my heart.

“My mom…she was never the same. She tried to be strong. The things I told you are true. She was overprotective. I didn’t have friends.

I didn’t have a life. She was always afraid of your father finding us.

And then…one day she died too, and I was all alone.

” A tear falls, then another and another.

“I was so fucking angry. It felt like Sloan took them both from me. Took my life. Everything my father did was to protect us. He loved your father like a brother—”

“He betrayed him!” Tiernan shouts, throwing his glass against the wall, making it shatter, the dark carpet now flecked with what looks like diamonds.

“He just tried to make us safe! He would have gone to Sloan if he could trust him!” I shove to my feet, rub a hand over my buzzed hair, try to settle down and get myself under control the way Tiernan says I need to.

“I came to Ashford to get close to you so you could introduce me to your father…and I could kill him.”

“Get the fuck out,” he grits out between clenched teeth.

“That’s not what it is anymore. That’s why I’m telling you.

” I take a step toward him, then another.

“I want this. I want you . I fucking love you. Do you know what that does to me? To know I’ve failed my parents?

That I’m doing the one thing they never wanted for me…

that I fucking crave it? But I don’t care.

I’ll sacrifice it all, give it all up if I can just have you.

Even the fucking life. I would run with you if you wanted, Tiernan.

I’m yours, and that’s more important to me than anything else. ”

His breathing picks up, fast and short. Tiernan bends over, hands on his knees, sounding like he’s hyperventilating but trying to get himself under control—that thing he’s so much better at than me. Except now. I did this to him. I hurt him. I’ll never forgive myself for that.

“Tiernan…I’m sorry.”

“Get the fuck out!” he bellows again before quick steps take him to the nightstand, where he picks up the gun, releases the safety, and points it at me. Without lowering his weapon, he goes over and opens the drawer where my things are, throwing pants and a shirt at me. “I will fucking kill you.”

“I know. I’ve known it for a while. You should. I deserve that.”

His hand shakes. Tiernan uses his free one to swipe at his eyes. “I trusted you. I let you inside me .”

He’s not talking about the sex.

“I’m sorry. I hate myself for it. I’ve never felt more like myself than when I’m with you. You’re the only happiness I’ve ever known. I betrayed that. I…” I turn around, then lower myself to my knees, making it easier on him.

I hear the soft sounds of his feet against the carpet before the gun presses against the back of my head.

My eyes fall closed.

Time stops.

An eternity goes by.

“Get. The fuck. Out of my house.” The gun is gone, and then Tiernan is jerking me to my feet. He grabs the clothes he threw before pulling me toward the door.

I don’t fight him, let him do whatever he wants to me.

He doesn’t let my arm go as we leave the room, take the stairs, and he opens the door, shoving me out and throwing my clothes at me. “Stay the fuck away from my sister, or you won’t walk away next time.”

The door slams shut, and I’m left alone, the way I was always meant to be.