Page 40 of Bittersweet Revenge (Sins of the Father #1)

Dean

T he room feels empty. It’s my first thought before I even open my eyes.

When I do, I look toward Tiernan’s side of the bed, only it’s empty.

He’s always getting up early to take care of business or do schoolwork because he spent the night before doing shit for his dad, and before school is the only time he can do it.

His body seems to be on that schedule now, so I’m not surprised to be alone.

Just thinking about Sloan makes my pulse skyrocket. The hate I have for him still feeds on me every day, still makes my insides rot away, but I love Tiernan even more. I don’t think I was a full person before I had him, and maybe to some people I’m still not, but he makes me feel like I am.

I use the bathroom, wash my hands, and brush my teeth.

I pull on underwear and sweats, then head downstairs to see what Tiernan is doing.

I wish he would let me help him with shit more.

If he thinks he’s trying to save me from getting into trouble or being too involved with what they do, he doesn’t need to worry about that.

I don’t want to be saved. I want to be a part of it, which makes things really fucking difficult, considering I still would do anything to be able to kill his father.

I’m not surprised that Cillian’s and Rory’s voices are the first I hear as I make my way downstairs.

They’re loud all the time, especially Rory.

I find it hard to believe sometimes that he’s probably murdered someone before.

If he hasn’t pulled the trigger himself, I know he’s been there when it happened, and it’s only a matter of time before he does it.

This is all they know, though. They’ve been a part of this life since they were born. At least they have that excuse. My parents got me away from it, yet here I am, tangling myself up in it again.

I round the corner into the kitchen. Cillian and Rory are at the table, each with a bowl in front of them, a box of Golden Grahams between them.

“T still sleeping?” Cillian asks before scooping a bite into his mouth.

The skin on the back of my neck prickles. “He wasn’t in bed when I woke up. I figured he was here with you.”

They both make eye contact with me, the tension in the room thickening.

“Office?” Rory asks, but I’m already turning away from them and heading there.

The door is locked like always, and it pisses me off that I don’t have a key. I bang on it but don’t hear anything inside. Cillian comes up behind me and unlocks it.

No Tiernan.

“Maybe he had to go to school early for something,” Rory says.

“He would have told me,” I snap, but I’m already hurrying back to the living room. One look out the window tells me his car is still here, so I run upstairs and grab my phone.

Blood is rushing through my ears like it’s the Niagara fucking Falls. My call goes directly to voice mail. I try again with the same result, then one more time, as if it will magically change.

“Fuck!” I pace the room, chest hurting, breathing too hard.

“Nothing?” Cillian asks.

“Voice mail.”

“I’ll try too.” Rory makes the call, then shakes his head.

“I’ll check his location,” Cillian says. I’m not surprised they have that option turned on for each other, but the look on his face when he lowers the cell tells me that function must be turned off.

The door across the hallway opens, Aislin peeking out. On a yawn, she asks, “What’s going on?”

“Is Tiernan with you?”

She stares at Cillian before shaking her head. “He’s not here?”

“I woke up, and he was gone. His car is here. He’s not answering his phone. Something is wrong.”

“Shit. Cameras.” Rory opens the app on his phone. I can’t believe none of us thought to check them until now—not that it’s something I can do.

We crowd around Rory, watch the front porch view, see Tiernan just…walk out. He’s wearing one of my hoodies. Tiernan never fucking dresses like that. He glances briefly at the camera and keeps going. It follows him partway down the driveway, until he moves out of view…then nothing.

“Call your dad, Ash. Get him on the phone. I want to talk to him,” I grit out.

“Okay, slow your fucking roll here. It’s not that easy. Sloan would blow a gasket if she put some stranger on the phone with him.” Cillian barely gets the words out before I have him shoved against the wall, my forearm against his throat.

“I don’t give a fuck about him or what he wants. I need Tiernan back, and I know that motherfucker has him!”

“You’d be real smart to get your hands off him, New Kid,” Rory says, his voice colder than I’ve ever heard it, but I don’t care. All they’re doing is wasting time. I want Tiernan back. I don’t care what they do to me.

“Dean…” Aislin says.

Cillian just looks at me, gaze hard, but not struggling.

“You want your boy to come back and find out I had to hurt you?” he asks, voice tight and strained from the pressure I’m putting on his throat.

“This is one of those moments where you need to get your shit under control. We’ll find him a whole lot faster if we’re not fighting. ”

He’s right. I just need to do something, need something to rein me in because if not, I’m going to get lost in my head, in all that fucking anger. I need Tiernan, and I don’t care what I have to do to get him back.

“Dean…hey…it’s okay,” Aislin tries to soothe me. “We’ll find him. But Cillian is right. It doesn’t help if we’re fighting.” She places her hands on my shoulders, the touch comforting…like a sister.

I close my eyes, then let go of Cillian, who sucks in a sharp breath.

“I’m sorry,” I tell them. “I just…I can’t. Without him. I need him back.”

“I know.” She turns me toward her. “He’s fine, okay? This is Tiernan. There’s nothing he can’t do. He probably had a job or something and didn’t want to wake anyone. I’ll call Mom first. Maybe he’s with her.”

I nod. Maybe Cillian or Rory believe her, but I don’t.

This has to do with Sloan. He hasn’t been happy with Tiernan lately.

There’s a sick feeling in my gut that somehow this ties back to me.

I don’t know how it would, how Sloan would know, but I can’t shake the guilt twisting me in knots that this is all my fault.

“Let me go get my phone.” She kisses my cheek before jogging to her room.

I toss a glance at Cillian, who shakes his head, telling me it doesn’t matter.

Not right now. Still, these people have become my friends, if only because they know I’m Tiernan’s, and I like them, want to be a part of them.

If I want them to ever trust me, to fully bring me in, I have to make some changes—namely, not hitting Cillian every time I’m pissed.

“I’m sorry. I’ll get better. I can’t fucking lose him.”

“You won’t. None of us will let that happen. But the only reason I didn’t take you down right there is because I know you only did it because you love Tiernan. If you want this, us, then that shit can’t happen again.”

Rory walks over and puts his hand on Cillian’s shoulder, standing in solidarity with him.

“I know. It won’t happen again.”

Aislin returns, her cell to her ear. “Hey, Mom. How are you?”

She’s quiet, and I assume it’s because her mom is speaking.

“That’s good. I just wanted to ask if you’ve seen Tiernan?” Another pause. “No, he just mentioned he might come and see you. I’m sure he’s with his boyfriend.”

My heart skips a beat hearing her call me that, but not in the same way as last time. This time it’s because I know it’s true, and I want it to be. I want his mom to know it too.

“How’s Dad?” she asks next. “Oh, he’s not home?” Aislin looks at us when she says it. “Did you guys do anything last night?”

We wait while she continues to ask questions in the most nonchalant way possible. If I didn’t know what was happening, I wouldn’t see what she was doing.

We all watch Aislin as she plays the game with her mom before she can reasonably get off the phone without it looking too obvious.

The second she ends the call, she says, “My dad wasn’t home all night.

That’s not unusual, but something is up.

I know Tiernan. He wouldn’t have left without telling any of us unless he thought he didn’t have a choice.

He wouldn’t have walked out of this house that late if it wasn’t for my father. ”

“Fuck!” I shout, trying and failing not to lose my shit. “Why would he do this? It can’t be good, right?”

“He wouldn’t hurt Tiernan,” Aislin says.

The looks Rory and Cillian send my direction tell me they’re not so sure he wouldn’t. I don’t even know the motherfucker, but I agree with them.

“Should I call him? My dad, I mean?” Aislin wraps her arms around herself, the fear becoming real.

“When do you ever call him? He’ll know something’s up,” Rory says.

“Who cares if he knows?” I ask.

“I can call my dad,” Cillian says. “Feel him out. He’s a lot of things, but he loves Tiernan. Hell, I think he loves Tiernan more than me. He wouldn’t hurt him.” There’s an edge of hurt to Cillian’s voice that he does a bad job hiding.

“Uncle Rian loves you,” Aislin tells him.

“Not important.” Cillian makes the call but doesn’t learn anything new. Rian asks how they’re all doing, and he asks about Tiernan as if he expects Cillian to be with him.

“I don’t have parents, so I can’t call them,” Rory says.

“Jesus, Ror.” Cillian shakes his head.

“Me neither,” I add because as sad as that is to have in common with someone, it’s something Rory and I do share. “What do we do? Where do we look?”

“There are a million fucking places they could be,” Cillian says, “and right now, we’re jumping the gun. It’s probably just a fucking job, and Tiernan will come home pissed and all despondent like he does after hurting someone, and then he’ll be back to his normal asshole self.”

I don’t hold Cillian’s positive outlook.

Should I tell them who I am? Without Tiernan here, they might think he doesn’t know, might not believe me, and then we’ll be distracted with my shit rather than worrying about Tiernan.

Plus, I’m not sure that will do anything at this point except let them know I’m a fucking traitor and this is likely my fault.

“For now,” Rory says, “let’s get dressed and ready. If shit goes down, we need to be prepared. We’ll figure out what to do from there.”

I nod as if it’s that fucking easy to just shower and get dressed as if nothing is going on.

They all leave for their rooms, Aislin the last out of mine and Tiernan’s. The moment she closes the door behind her, my feet start pacing the carpeted floor.

“Tiernan…where are you?” I ask as if he’ll pop out from under the bed and let us know this is all some cruel joke.

My gaze goes to the nightstand where our book is, the one we started last night. Was it only last night? It feels like an eternity ago.

I frown when I notice the drawer isn’t closed all the way. Tiernan always closes it. I walk over and tug it, see the gun box inside…which was also left open, a nine-millimeter sitting there, waiting.

Tiernan left that for me. There’s no doubt in my mind about that.

I pull out the gun and the magazine beside it. The magazine is full, and after making sure the safety is on, I slide it into the gun.

I don’t care what the fuck I have to do, how I’m going to figure this out. All I know is, I’m going to find him and bring him home.