Page 2 of Bittersweet Revenge (Sins of the Father #1)

Tiernan

T he familiar sound of organs playing drifts around me in a way that should be comforting but isn’t.

It always feels wrong to be at Sunday Mass, but it’s something I’ve been doing all my life, pretending the many sins we commit on a daily basis don’t exist within these walls unless we’re in confession—even when they don’t know the truth of it all.

Because how could we admit to everything we do?

Father Nelson and the servers walk slowly to the altar as we all stand by watching. I should be singing, but I don’t. My father is beside me, losing himself in the music, despite all the blood he has on his hands.

I have it on mine too. It’s our way of life, and that will never fucking change.

Father Nelson steps behind the altar, kisses it, and I follow his lead, touching my forehead, then chest, left shoulder, right shoulder, with each movement speaking the words I’ve said a million times over the course of my nineteen years.

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

He goes into Penitential Rite next, telling us to remember our sins and celebrate the mystery of Christ’s love, followed by prayer.

I play my part the whole time, through prayer, song, homily, and profession of faith. Do I believe any of this? I guess I do. It’s all I fucking know, but sometimes it all feels like a waste of time. No matter what we pretend, none of my family in the pew with us will be going to heaven.

Mom reaches over and grabs my hand—I must not be paying attention.

I try to focus on the rest of the service, ready to get the hell out of here and head up to Ashford.

It’s two hours away from our home, but I love the facade of freedom I have at college.

At Ashford, Sloan O’Shea isn’t in charge. I am.

When Mass is over, I breathe out a sigh of relief as we step into the Boston sun.

“You didn’t even pretend to be interested,” my younger sister, Aislin, says. She’s eighteen and will be a freshman this year, while I’m going into my sophomore year. I’m thankful as fuck she’ll be with me where I can keep an eye on her. I don’t trust anyone to take care of her as well as I can.

“I’m not as good an actor as you.” I cock a brow at her.

“I can’t wait to get the hell out of here,” she says, echoing my thoughts.

We’re never truly free, not of who we are, or our birthright, and…I don’t really want to be. The power is fucking incredible, even if stifling on occasion.

“We should go have lunch before the two of you head out,” Mom says, making me tense. It’s a reminder that again, I’m leaving her alone. She hates it. Sometimes I think she hates everything about our life, but I don’t believe it was always like that.

“Yeah, okay,” I say, but Dad shakes his head.

“Fia, we have business to take care of,” he warns her. “You can have lunch with Aislin, and then Blain will take her to school. Tiernan will head up later.”

Blain works for my father. He’s hired muscle, though I guess we all are, but he has Blain driving Aislin around a lot.

He doesn’t always do the same for me, as though Aislin can’t take care of herself just because she’s a girl.

She would fuck us both up, but my father would never be able to admit it.

“I can drive myself.” Aislin crosses her arms.

“Stubborn like her mother,” Uncle Rian says.

“She’s tough like her,” I cut in.

“Yes,” Dad says, “and your mother still has a bodyguard.”

“Dad—” Aislin starts, but Dad holds up his hand, silencing her.

“He won’t stay with you. He’s driving you there. I don’t know how late your brother will be. And then you’ll have him there to keep an eye on you.”

I can see my sister biting her tongue, but Mom, always the peacekeeper, puts an arm around her. “It’s just a ride, and then Tiernan will be there.”

But that means he’s leaving her without a car. She’ll be living on campus, and I won’t, so in his mind, that must ensure she’ll be dependent on me.

“Whatever,” Aislin replies. Dad kisses her forehead, and she says nothing and walks away. He would never accept that behavior from me, so in some ways, she has the advantage, and in others, it’s better to be me.

“I’ll miss you so much.” Mom pulls me into a hug, squeezing so tight it’s hard to breathe.

“I’ll miss you too.” It’s true. Sometimes I think she’s lonely.

Actually, there’s no sometimes about it.

She is, though it’s confusing. How can we be lonely with so many people around us all the time?

How can we want for anything when we have everything?

But then, I guess she doesn’t. She has a husband who treats her like shit and a son who will follow in his footsteps.

“Have a good semester. Call me every day and—”

“Fia. He’s a grown man. Let him go. We have business to attend to.”

We both know my father has the last word, so we pull away.

Her eyes are watery, and I wonder if it’s hitting her that both her children will be away for college now.

We’re close, all of us, even if we show it in different ways.

And besides, Aislin and I will be back. We’ll always be back because we’re O’Sheas and we stick together.

“I love you,” I whisper, for only the two of us, then follow my father to his black SUV.

As soon as we approach, Oscar, his new driver, opens the door for us. I get in first and scoot all the way over, and my father slides in beside me.

“Someone stole from us, and we’re handling it.”

My pulse kicks up, and probably not in the way it would for most people.

I dislike liking this part of it, but I can’t deny that I do.

I’ve been taught my whole life that all that matters is the power you wield and how others fear you.

My father is the best at both, and while I hate him for it, I also want to be like him.

No. I want to be better than him.

Still, I don’t know why he’s bringing me with him to handle this business. He could have brought Rian or anyone else, but he chose me. “Why?” I ask.

“Because I wanted you,” he answers, knowing what I meant. “Is it so bad that I enjoy seeing my son succeed?”

Succeed is a strange word to use, but I don’t call him on it. Don’t call him on anything he says, though it’s like a knife to the heart each time.

And the truth is, I know why he wanted me here.

Control. Because he doesn’t like that I enjoy leaving for school, and if it wasn’t an O’Shea family tradition, ever since my great-grandfather immigrated from Ireland, I wouldn’t be allowed to go.

He knows I want to leave, so this is his way of showing me there’s nothing I can do without him allowing it.

My hands ball into fists.

His phone rings, and he answers it. I watch the scenery go by as Oscar drives us out of the city, into an abandoned area with old warehouses owned by us. He parks out back, then gets out and opens my father’s door. I open my own. And then I follow my father into the building.

I smell piss and shit the second I’m inside, but I don’t flinch, just meet Finan as he approaches us. He nods toward the man handcuffed to a chair. He’s sweating, and it’s clear the smell is coming from him, but he’s not bloody or beat up yet.

“He’s so scared, he pissed himself the second we got here,” Finan says, then looks at me. “Hey. You leavin’ for that fuckin’ school today?”

“Yeah. After I deal with this.”

He nods, but I’m sure he too is wondering why I’m here. Yes, this will all be mine one day, but I have shit to do, and this isn’t my job.

I take off my suit jacket and hand it to Finan. Once I get to school, I’ll shed the suits, but I still can’t bring myself to wear anything other than button-up shirts. It’s what I’m used to.

“Oh shit,” I say when I get closer. “Mr. Owens? How’s Emily?”

I fucked his daughter when we were both sixteen.

He came in and caught us. His face turned red as a fucking tomato, but he knew who I was and that he couldn’t do anything about it.

Not that Emily didn’t want to be there with me, because she did.

We still hook up sometimes. I’m a lot of things, but one thing I’ll never be is the kind of man to push myself on anyone I take to bed—man or woman.

“Tiernan…I didn’t mean—”

I punch him in the face. Pain pierces my hand but not enough to make me stop, never enough to make me stop. “Not what I asked you. How is Emily?”

He spits out blood. “Good,” he sputters. “Leaving for college.”

“Huh. Maybe I’ll give her a call.” She doesn’t go to Ashford, but I’m enough like my father to enjoy toying with him this way.

It’s wild how you can hate someone but know you’re just like them.

How you can despise them, but part of you craves to be them too.

I hate myself for it, but I don’t know how to be any other way.

I roll up my sleeves.

“Please…don’t…it wasn’t much. I just…you people think you can get away with anything.

You have more money than you know what to do with…

Emily’s school costs so much and—” His words are cut off by my fist. Over and over and over again, I hit him, kick him, make him bleed while my father and Finan watch.

Seeing as they don’t have any tools out, I’m assuming this is what they want from me. Make him hurt…and I shouldn’t do it…but I do.

He’s still breathing when I’m done, but his face is covered in blood, head limp, vomit on his lap.

“I want to finish this quickly and get on my way.”

Finan looks at my dad, who nods in agreement. Finan walks over and hands me a gun. I hold it up and aim at Mr. Owens’s head.

“Please…don’t hurt her,” are his last words before I pull the trigger and end it all.

“Can I go to school now?” I ask my father as I give Finan back his gun.

“Yes,” he replies.

Finan stays to get cleanup underway. I wash in the bathroom on-site, then head out. Oscar drives us back to our house, where my car is packed and ready to go.

“Be good,” my father says, though I don’t know what the fuck he thinks good is. We’re never that.

I consider going inside to say goodbye to Mom again, but I don’t, knowing it will just piss off my father.

As soon as I pull away, I call Conan. He works for my father, and he and Rian have always been the men I would rather go to than my dad.

But there are certain things I shouldn’t go to my father’s brother about, which means Rian is out and Conan is in.

He’s one of the only people I trust outside of my sister, and Cillian and Rory, my two best friends.

I do love my uncle, but Rian’s loyalty will always be with my father.

“Hey, kid. What do you need?”

“I need to get some money to someone, but I don’t want my father or anyone else to know.”

“What’s the name?”

“Emily Owens.” I might have taken her father from her today, but she won’t have to worry about money for school. It’s the least I can do.