Page 29

“You will laugh when you know where I am gone, and I cannot help laughing myself at your surprise to-morrow morning, as soon as I am missed.”

—Pride and Prejudice

THE SUN HAD yet to rise, but it was time to leave.

Lydia was usually able to laugh at her misfortune—it was preferable to crying.

But she could find no humor in her situation as she carefully packed her one trunk.

She could not stay with Thomas and Chloe, not when he was embarrassed by her.

Even if she did not want to leave either of them.

And she couldn’t remain in the same house as the dowager Lady Kingston.

Not after the woman had insulted her directly to her face, and Thomas—the viscount—had said nothing.

She left the priceless sapphire necklace on her dressing table. She’d already accepted too much from him. Lydia touched the jewels one last time. They captured the light and reflected it outward. If only she were as lucky.

Closing the lid to her trunk, Lydia carefully tightened the latch.

The one positive thing about being poor was that it never took very long to pack up all your things.

She pulled on her pelisse and then put on her matching bonnet.

She had nowhere to go and no one to go to, but thanks to Thomas, she was no longer destitute.

The yearly income from the five thousand pounds would be around two hundred and fifty pounds—a comfortable sum.

And her sisters would not have to fear Lydia being dependent upon their generosity.

She would simply have to pretend that the last month had not happened, and Lydia was good at pretending. She’d pretended for years to love her late husband during his many affairs. And she’d pretended to be happy to her friends when all she had wanted to do was to lie face down in the sand and cry.

George Wickham had not broken her spirit, and she would not let Thomas Holden do so either.

Lifting her trunk, Lydia took a steadying breath before walking to the door and opening it with one hand.

She needed to escape quietly to avoid another painful, public confrontation.

The door creaked open, and she was about to leave her room when she discovered that something, or rather someone, was sitting on the floor blocking her way out.

She nearly dropped the trunk.

It was Thomas.

“What in heaven’s name are you doing?”

In his calm way, Thomas got slowly to his feet. “I was thinking.”

A part of her wished to laugh, but she suppressed it. “On the floor, outside of my door, you were simply thinking at five o’clock in the morning?”

“I have been here all night.”

Lydia set down the heavy trunk at her feet. “If you wanted to speak to me, why didn’t you knock on my door?”

“I needed time to think and to plan. I have only made one rash decision in my entire life, and that was to ask you to be Chloe’s chaperone.

After my mother’s rude words last night, I considered the possibility that you might try to leave, and I thought that you would try to sneak out without saying goodbye. I wanted to prevent that.”

“Nothing your mother said was not true, Thomas—Kingston,” Lydia forced herself to admit.

“My father was merely a country gentleman, and I am not your equal in any way. And I was a silly girl, who eloped with a scoundrel soldier, and now I am a poor, grasping widow eager to get her claws into a nice man.”

“My mother said a rich man.”

Lydia grabbed the sides of her face. “It doesn’t matter.”

Thomas stepped forward. “No, it does matter. You taught me that the words you choose to define yourself always matter. I flatter myself that you are far more interested in me rather than my fortune. And truthfully, you would be the first woman to be so.”

Dropping her hands to her side, Lydia scoffed. “That is untrue. You should not undervalue yourself, Thomas. You are the most kind, thoughtful, and attractive man I have ever met. Any woman with a modicum of sense would realize that your money is the least wonderful thing about you.”

He held out his hand to her, and Lydia paused for only a moment before placing her gloved fingers inside of it.

“Do you think a person can fall in love in only one month of acquaintance?”

Lydia dropped her head, unable to meet his eyes. “I think that a person can care deeply about another person in that amount of time.”

“I thought about that question for half of the night,” he said, the corners of his lips tilting upward. “I considered what I had learned from science and literature. From a lifetime of studies.”

“And what conclusion did you come to?”

He squeezed her fingers, and she glanced up into his eyes.

“The only knowledge that mattered was in my own mind and heart, Lydia. I know that when I am with you, it is like stepping into sunshine. I am awash with warm feelings of happiness and joy. I also know that when you are not near, my scholarly existence is sadly dull. I feel handsome and confident in your company. My mouth longs for the moments when your lips are touching mine. My ears crave the sound of your laughter. And my fingers for the touch of your skin. I do not have much experience with romantic love, but I am certain that after thirty-one days, I do love you. And I want to be Thomas not only at night but in the mornings and afternoons. Will you please marry me?”

Only Thomas would say please in a marriage proposal , Lydia thought. She wanted nothing more than to throw her arms around him and to kiss Thomas senseless. But her body did not move.

Her eyes filled with tears. “I do love you, Thomas, truly. But I don’t think that we would be happy together.

You are too much like my father, and I am too much like my mother.

He was an intelligent and scholarly man of a higher rank, and he fell in love with a beautiful and boisterous young woman of a lower rank, who loved to dance and talk and laugh.

But once they were wed, everything that had once attracted him to her, he held in sardonic contempt.

She was not his equal in education or station.

My father mocked and belittled my mother in front of her own children.

He thought her vulgar and silly. He called me and my sister Kitty the two silliest girls in the country.

You are kinder than my father, but I cannot help but fear that you would grow weary of my energetic silliness.

And I could not endure you treating me with contempt, especially not in front of Chloe. ”

Lydia tugged back her hand.

“If you ask me to, I will move aside and let you pass,” Thomas said quietly.

“I will even carry your trunk outside and call you a carriage to take you wherever you want to go. But please remember that you are not your mother, and I am not your father. We are not tied to the same fate. I can only tell you how sorry I am that the man who sired you failed to see what an incredible person you are. I have never once thought that you were silly. Strong, yes. Beautiful, definitely. Caring, entirely. Joyful, always.”

She let out a watery chuckle. “Give it time.”

Thomas smiled. “That is all I want—your time for the rest of your life.”

“But what about Chloe? Marrying me could hurt her prospects, and your mother was right, I am barren. You should marry a woman who can give you a son and heir.”

“I have a daughter and heir. I have given forty years of my life to my mother and this title. I will not sacrifice my happiness for the next forty years to it. That was why when my mother summoned me to Bath, I took Chloe to Brighton. I do not want to marry a woman from her list of appropriate candidates. I don’t want another Euphemia, who barely tolerates my touch.

I want you and your spontaneous kisses. Everything my mother said last night only furthered my resolve to marry you and finally enjoy marital happiness. ”

She placed her hands on her hips and tipped her head to the side. “Then, why did you not say anything when she harangued me last night?”

His face flushed. “I was thinking.”

Lydia released an exasperated sigh.

Thomas brought her hand to his lips and gently kissed it. “I will probably always be slow to speak and to act. But now that I have thoroughly considered everything, I will inform my mother that she can either offer you an apology or leave my home.”

“I don’t want you to have to pick between me and your family,” Lydia said, touching her throat with her free hand and feeling her erratic pulse. “You have no idea how lonesome it is without them.”

“I would be lonesome every minute of my life without you. And did I mention there is a beautiful, sandy beach by Cliff House? The perfect place for nighttime sea-wading or swimming.”

Lydia could no longer hold herself back.

She jumped into his arms and kissed Thomas as if it was their last embrace.

He tasted sweet, warm, and familiar. She loved the feeling of his strong arms around her waist. The press of his body against hers.

The texture of his lips as their mouths moved over each other.

The gentle touch of his tongue. The warmth of his skin.

The realization that at last, she’d found her home.

“I AM TO marry Lydia, Mama,” Thomas said and couldn’t resist adding, “and without your kind assistance, I might have belabored the issue for several months. But you have forced me to thoroughly consider my feelings and to act, for which I thank you.”

His mother’s face paled, and her mouth opened. “If you marry that grasping widow, I will cast you off.”

“I am very nearly forty years old, Mama. Such threats have little weight with me, and the only person who will be harmed by them is yourself. Both Chloe and I love Lydia, and we mean to be a very happy family.”

His mother hit her stick against the wheel of her chair. “That woman has bewitched you.”

Thomas grinned. “She has indeed. Isn’t it wonderful?

I am about to write to my solicitor in London and request that he purchase a special license.

I mean to marry Lydia within the week, and you are welcome to attend if you promise to be pleasant.

Now, shall I call your carriage to take you back to Bath, or shall I ask the butler to bring you some tea? ”

His mother’s nostrils flared. “Tea, and perhaps you’ll be so good as to send Chloe to sit with me?”

“Of course, Mama.”

Thomas wheeled her chair to the parlor and rang for tea.

He closed the doors and went to his study where he found the two women that he loved best: Lydia and his daughter.

His affianced bride was holding two large fossil teeth by her mouth and pretending that they were her fangs. Thomas laughed loudly and so did Chloe.

Both women’s eyes turned to look at him as he entered the study.

“I have informed my mother about the special license and the wedding, and she wishes to stay.” He watched Lydia slowly exhale at this news.

His eyes next went to his daughter. “Your grandmother is requesting that you come and sit with her in the parlor.”

Chloe instantly got to her feet. “Of course, Papa.”

As did Lydia. She grasped his daughter’s wrist. “Wait, Chloe. Take the box of snakestones and tell her all about them. I am certain that the dowager will find them just as fascinating as I do.”

“But Grandmother doesn’t approve of my interest in the natural sciences.”

Releasing her hold on Chloe’s wrist, Lydia winked. “I think today she’ll make an exception.”

Nodding, Chloe picked up the box of fossils and left the study.

Once the doors closed, Lydia wrapped her arms around Thomas and kissed him thoroughly for several minutes. He loved how spontaneous she was. Lydia kissed away his doubts and caressed away his fears.

She rubbed the tip of his nose with her own. “Did you say a special license ?”

Thomas smiled and brushed his lips against her cheek. “I may be slow to make up my mind, but once I do, I move quickly. I intend to write to my London solicitor at this very moment and request he purchase one from the archbishop of Canterbury.”

Lydia beamed up at him. “How charming! We are to be married by special license. My mother wanted my sister Lizzy to be married with one. I believe she worried that Mr. Darcy might change his mind.”

The mention of her brother-in-law reminded him of another consideration he had thought of during the night.

“I believe that the groom is supposed to give his wife a wedding gift. I thought perhaps that I could repay Mr. Darcy for the dowry he gave your first husband and any other monies you owe to your sisters. Once paid, you might be able to repair your relationships with them.”

She massaged his neck with her hands. Shaking her head, Lydia swallowed, and her eyes filled with water.

“I have already taken five thousand pounds from you, Thomas. I could not ask for more money, or I would be the grasping widow your mother believes me to be. Your funds should go to Chloe and her dowry.”

He cupped her cheek with his palm and caressed her soft skin. “Chloe’s dowry is her late mother’s portion of fifty thousand pounds. She does not expect more than that, and you seem to keep forgetting the fact that I am a very rich man—although it is the least wonderful thing about me .”

Again, she shook her head. “I couldn’t, Thomas.”

“You don’t need to,” he whispered, running his fingers through the curls on the side of her face.

“I will have my solicitor deposit ten thousand pounds into Mr. Darcy’s bank account, and I shall write to your sisters and brothers-in-law and ask to settle any outstanding debts from your late husband.

You will no longer be shadowed by a mistake you made as a mere child and the man who took advantage of both you and your family. ”

“I don’t deserve you.”

“Funny, I feel the same way about you,” Thomas said, ending the conversation in the most satisfying way—kissing the woman he loved.