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Such a change in a man of so much pride exciting not only astonishment but gratitude—for to love, ardent love, it must be attributed.

—Pride and Prejudice

AUGUSTUS BARELY SLEPT that night. His thoughts were full of the strange transformations of Kitty Bennet. Not only that, but of her unexpected effect on him.

The woman was frustrating and exhausting, and he couldn’t get enough.

Her constant switching between one role and the next left him wondering if he knew her at all, but at the same time hoping he would have all the time in the world to attempt to become familiar with each aspect of her mind, heart, and soul.

That was a thought he’d never had before.

He’d been growing weary of his act, constantly seeking out the moment—and the woman—he could next show off his reckless, good-for-nothing persona.

These days with Kitty were a jumble of reactions, but he hadn’t needed to pretend to be the rake.

With so much personality in the room, there was hardly space for him to act his part. What a relief.

He found himself chuckling as he lay on his back, hands behind his head, staring at the ceiling of his room. Kitty’s abundance of personalities made his own performance unnecessary.

As the room slowly lightened around him, he considered the parts of Kitty’s personality he preferred. He thought it might not be a coincidence he liked her best when she was most relaxed. When she seemed to forget she was performing. When she allowed herself to behave most naturally.

When she stopped acting like someone else, was it because she was comfortable with him? Taking off her metaphorical mask might be a way to suggest the two of them had created a connection more lasting than her performance. The thought warmed him.

Another different idea entered his mind uninvited. Was it possible she let down her guard because she felt no need to impress him? Could her opinion of Augustus be so low that she was willing to make herself look foolish again and again, knowing she did not regard his feelings?

He had to make sure that wasn’t the case.

Augustus bolted up from his bed and hurried to dress, taking care with his cravat and coat and spending more time combing his hair than he would ever admit.

He paced back and forth between the parlor and the drawing room, occasionally picking up a bread roll or a piece of fruit and putting it back down again.

When his mother finally came down the stairs, he sat.

He didn’t need her to know he was wandering around the house.

She’d surely ask questions. As soon as he was seated, he immediately stood again before retaking his seat. He was acting like a nervous child.

Perhaps his mother wouldn’t notice.

“What’s the matter with you this morning?”

Well, there was no question about it. She noticed.

“Is it too early for me to make a call at Mrs. Gordon’s house?”

Mrs. Haverford looked down at her house dress. “I suppose it’s possible they’re early risers, but you’re taking a risk.”

“I like my chances.”

He bent to kiss his mother on the cheek.

As he turned away, she pulled on his sleeve. “What are you planning?”

With a squeeze to her fingers, he said, “I can’t plan since I hardly know who I will meet at the door. But I can hope.”

She gave him a puzzled look, but Augustus beamed as he walked out the door.

The walk to Mrs. Gordon’s house must have been inconsequential because Augustus didn’t remember crossing any streets or passing anyone he knew.

He was still wearing his silly grin when he approached the door.

As he raised his hand to knock, the door opened before him, and Kitty nearly stepped into the curve of his arm.

She looked surprised to see him, but he couldn’t detect any sense of disappointment.

“Good morning.” The words had never felt so true as at that moment. Any morning that began with the sight of Kitty Bennet’s smile would be a good one.

“Hello.” Her voice was soft, as if there was an extra measure of breath carried with it. “I was just going to take a walk.”

“May I join you?”

He thought she would agree immediately, but she watched him a long moment before responding. “I have no objection to your company, but there is little chance we’ll come across any of the people you need to see this early in the day.”

“What people do you mean? Who do I need to see?”

She tilted her head to the side in a most agreeable way as she spoke. “All those women and their mothers who need to see you acting attached.”

She didn’t sound angry or even hurt, so why did Augustus feel a stab of guilt?

“For today, the only woman I want to see is you.” He couldn’t bring himself to add the practiced air of flirtation to the statement. It was simply true, so he spoke the words plainly.

They walked down the steps and onto the street. There were more carriages and carts than people walking, so Augustus and Kitty weren’t interrupted with greetings as they began to speak about the last evening’s opera and the subsequent meeting with Lina and the other actors.

“I don’t think I thanked you very well for the magnificent evening. Not only the performances, but also the time you allowed me to spend in company with the singers and dancers. They were a surprising group of people.”

“What precisely is it that surprised you?”

Kitty looked up at Augustus without answering for several long seconds. He wondered if she was searching for a suggestion of his disreputable behavior.

He was sure there wasn’t a hint of it in his voice, and he had no wish to shock or disconcert her the way he had at first meeting her.

As he considered the reason why, he discovered he didn’t want to startle her that way ever again.

He’d be happier if she was one person he didn’t have to put on a silly show for.

It was a strange thought. He hoped she would learn to trust his sincerity as he behaved as himself and himself alone.

Instead of answering his question, she shook her head and said, “I owe you an apology.”

A cart rattled past them, and Augustus took Kitty by the arm and led her away from the busy street and toward Hyde Park.

“Whatever do you think you have to be sorry for?”

Her eyes searched his. “I’ve treated you unfairly.”

Augustus was certain if either of them had been unfair, it was him. But he let her continue.

“You requested a companion for a few outings, and I became a madwoman, auditioning personalities and behaving in all of the most unbecoming ways.”

Now he had to interrupt. He spoke through a wide smile. “You may have been strange, but it was all quite becoming. Fetching, even.”

Kitty laughed. “I was definitely strange, wasn’t I?” She sighed. “The whole experiment was tiring for me. It must have been unbearable for you.”

He held her arm gently, and they stopped walking.

“Do you feel tired as we walk and speak now?”

She took a moment to think. “Not at all.”

“Then, perhaps you’ve found yourself.”

Kitty looked up into his face, her eyes searching. “But this is not a self. I’m nothing. I’m not particularly vibrant or charming or witty or clever or beautiful.”

Augustus placed his hand gently on her arm. “I must disagree. You’re all of those things together. Especially beautiful.”

As she shook her head, a few curls came loose around her face. He reached up and brushed one behind her ear. Instead of pulling away, she lifted her chin and smiled.

“Mr. Haverford, if this is an attempt to shock me, you’re losing your edge.”

Still grazing the skin between her cheek with his fingers, he leaned closer. “I don’t want to shock you. I’d much rather kiss you.”

She answered him with a soft laugh. “That might shock everyone nearby.”

He looked around. There was nobody nearby.

He told himself he’d back away as soon as she showed any sign of discomfort.

If he’d thought about what he was about to say, he would have stopped himself.

Instead, he simply opened his mouth and the words tumbled out.

“I’ve thought about kissing you so many times, actually doing it couldn’t surprise me.

I feel as if I’ve already kissed you a hundred times. A thousand.”

Kitty didn’t seem alarmed, neither did she seem displeased. She didn’t duck her head to avoid his eyes. In fact, she looked directly at him and her smile grew.

“Tell me the truth. Did you think about kissing me when I was expounding the moral superiority of women who never grow ill?”

“Only with the hope of stopping your voice.”

They chuckled together. Augustus breathed in the joy of conversing with this delightful woman.

She wasn’t finished. “Did you wish to kiss me when I was laughing like a banshee?”

He wondered if she was asking for a compliment, even if insincere.

Even if she wished for it, he didn’t want to be insincere with her ever again.

“I was too frightened at that particular performance to spend much time considering kissing. But trust me when I tell you this: as soon as the raucous laughter stopped, I was once again lost to the wish.”

“And the day I avoided speaking and stared at the floor?”

He rubbed the edge of his jaw with his free hand. “It gave me time to look at you, but to be honest, I couldn’t wait to hear what you might think of to say next. I don’t believe you’re meant to be the silent type.”

“What type do you think I’m meant to be?”

Now both his hands rested at the sides of her face.

“Exactly as you are. Kitty, you have an idea that you ought to develop a certain significant or recognizable trait you can forever be known by. You seem to wish for a single descriptor. But that wish is impossible. You’re made up of far too many wonderful characteristics to ever be described in a word. One will never be enough.”

Kitty raised her hands and placed them on his chest. He wondered if she could feel his heart pounding beneath her fingers.

“If all that is true, you’re the only one who’s seen it. You seem to know me better than I know myself. Better than anyone.”

In a whisper, he said, “I feel as though I’ve known you for a long time.”

He leaned close enough to feel her breath on his lips. As she lifted her mouth to his, he refused the urge to close his eyes. He wanted to see her this close. Closer.

His hands moved to cradle the back of her head as their lips met, gently at first and then, as she gathered the material of his coat in her fists, more deeply.

After too short a moment, she pulled away gently. He watched her eyelids flutter open, a sweet and satisfied smile on her face.

She unclenched her hands from his coat and pressed the fabric smooth.

He felt a rush of energy radiate from where her hands touched him.

She lifted a finger and touched the corner of his mouth.

“That was very nice. If this is the benefit of spending time with you, I’m eager to get to know you better. ”