Page 19

Lydia was Lydia still; untamed, unabashed, wild, noisy, and fearless.

—Pride and Prejudice

LYDIA ENJOYED BOTH the luncheon and supper meals.

Her stomach made another noise, but this time from being too full.

She stood up and so did both Chloe and Kingston.

The viscount offered his right arm to his daughter and his left to Lydia like she was someone of importance. Rather than an indigent widow.

Kingston led them from the dining room to the front study that had a great many books on the shelves.

Lydia held her breath. If dancing was not allowed, she feared that cards and games might not be either.

She released her hold on Kingston’s arm, and he walked to the other side of the room where there was a large desk.

Clearing her throat, she asked, “What do you two like to do in the evenings?”

“Read,” Chloe said.

Lydia tried not to show dismay on her countenance. “Please do not say Fordyce’s Sermons .”

Both Kingston and Chloe laughed as if Lydia had been telling a joke—she’d been deadly serious. Lydia had suffered through enough sermons in her youth. Her father’s cousin Mr. Collins in particular was the most nasally and boring reader of them.

Chloe shook her head. “Not sermons, I promise. Papa likes to read scientific papers from the Royal Society. Particularly ones about fossils. We have found ever so many old bones on our estate, and Papa and I try to put them together like a puzzle.”

Swallowing, Lydia managed, “I do love a puzzle.”

“How wonderful,” Kingston said, taking a box down from the shelf and putting it on his desk. He took off the lid, and Lydia saw that it was chock-full of assorted bones. “We can sort through these fossils and decide which ones are fingers and toes and which ones are teeth.”

Chloe clapped her hands. “Such fun!”

Lydia licked her own teeth and reassured herself that old bones were much better than leaky roofs and empty bellies.

She sat down on the opposite side of the desk from Kingston, but next to Chloe, who was not shy in picking up a piece of yellowish bone and holding it close to her eyes.

Gulping, Lydia was thankful to be wearing gloves as she picked up another piece of an ancient creature.

If this was one of its teeth, the animal must have been enormous, for the tooth was as long as her finger.

She held it up to the light of the candelabra. “Good heavens. Whatever animal this belonged to must have been much larger than a bear—I saw one at a carnival in Canada—but even its canine teeth were small compared to this.”

“That’s because it came from the ocean,” Chloe explained. “Our home is on the coast, near the sea. But I agree with you that it is too large to have belonged to a shark or any of the animals that are alive now. Perhaps a primitive sea beast?”

Lydia wrapped her hands around the tooth.

It was as large as the tusk of an African elephant but quite different in shape and texture as if the years and the ocean had whittled away at it.

Despite her initial reluctance to play with dead bones, Lydia had to admit they were rather fascinating.

She placed the tooth in the teeth pile and picked up another piece of bone.

This one was much smaller and looked like it might have been a phalange. She placed it in the fingers pile.

Picking up another fossil, Lydia couldn’t help but say, “After dinner, I am used to playing cards or silly games like lottery. This is quite a unique experience.”

Chloe’s face grew red and blotchy, and Lydia worried that she had offended the young woman. “Of course. Most people in Society aren’t fossil scholars like Papa. I daresay this is quite dull for you, Lydia.”

She shook her head. “Not at all, and it appears that your father is not the only scholar in the room—how wonderful that you are so clever and learned, Chloe. I am quite envious. My own education was rather neglected. My mama didn’t see the need for a governess, and I was too unruly to teach myself as my elder sisters did. ”

Chloe leaned forward, her face still splotchy. “I have heard that gentlemen do not like intelligent young women. They call them bluestockings.”

Lydia lightly bumped her shoulder against Chloe’s.

“Stupid gentlemen might not, but a smart man will always want a wife who is his equal in intelligence . . . although we will have to look very hard to find a man equal to you . Now, tell me all about the bone that you are holding. Or is it a tooth?”

LYDIA THOUGHT ABOUT the fossils as she walked onto the familiar beach of Brighton that evening.

She’d never noticed any of the pebbles before, but then again, she hadn’t been looking.

So much of what you saw depended upon what you were looking for.

Lydia took off her pelisse that covered her bathing costume—a shift-like material with weights sewn into the bottom to keep it from coming up.

She slipped out of her boots and stockings, then pulled the pins out of her hair and shook her curls loose.

She loved the feeling of not only her body, but her hair being free in the water.

Lydia placed her pins carefully on her pelisse and then ran into the water.

It was cold.

Even in summertime.

And not at all a good place for swimming.

She missed the warm and clear blue waters of the Caribbean Sea.

Still, she waded into the water of the English Channel and felt the waves brush her legs toward the shore and then try to pull her in deeper as they returned to the sea.

Lydia walked along the shoreline, the Royal Pavilion glowing in the distance like a beacon.

She trudged slowly back through the shallow water to where she’d left her pelisse and boots.

She sat down on the pebbled beach and looked at the stars.

Her mother was up there.

Somewhere.

Lydia hoped that wherever heaven was, her mother was laughing and enjoying herself. And that now Mama was an angel, Lydia’s father could no longer make her feel vulgar or inadequate—unworthy of being an intelligent gentleman’s wife.

She prayed that Chloe would find a husband who would appreciate her sharp mind and scholarly achievements.

Lydia decided she would pray every night that her charge would find all the happiness in marriage Lydia had not.

Neither had her mother before her—although marrying a gentleman with an estate had been a great match for the daughter of a country attorney.

Perhaps women with high spirits did not make good wives.

Despite her youth, she’d tried to be a good wife to George Wickham.

She’d craved his love and attention, like she’d longed for her father’s all growing up.

Lydia had received neither. She wasn’t good like Jane.

Or clever like Lizzy. She wasn’t determined like Mary. Or agreeable and easily led like Kitty.

She was untamed Lydia .

Goosebumps formed on her arms, and Lydia rubbed them with her hands. The wind picked up, and her body shivered. She was growing cold, and it was time to go back. Lydia had to return to a world where she was a poor, indigent widow who no one wanted. Not even her own family.

She was all alone in the world.

Picking up her threadbare towel, Lydia wiped the water and little pebbles off her legs.

“There you are, Lydia.”

Dropping the towel in her hands, Lydia jumped.

She saw that it was Kingston walking toward her on the beach.

Like the night before, he was not wearing a wig or his formal clothing.

But he still looked more presentable than herself.

Lydia’s swimming gown bordered on prim, but the garment did not cover her lower legs or ankles.

Pretending to feel a confidence that she didn’t have, Lydia gave the man a low curtsy. “How wonderful to see you, Kingston. Fancy meeting you here of all places.”

The moonlight shone on his face, and she could see a shadow of beard growth on his cheeks and a slight smile on his lips. “It is not a surprise for me, Lydia. I have been looking for you for the last hour.”

Covering her mouth with her hand, Lydia gasped. “I am so sorry, Kingston. I should have told you that I intended on continuing my nighttime sea-wading after entering your employment. I apologize for any misunderstanding and for wasting your time.”

“I was not worried about my time. I was worried about you. I didn’t want you to drown out here all alone.”

Her mouth fell open with surprise. No one had worried about her since her mother died last year.

Lydia swallowed; her throat felt gummy. She twisted her wet hands together.

“I don’t swim by myself. This is not a good place for it.

The beach is too rocky, and it is too close to the pier.

But I enjoy walking along the shoreline and feeling the water against my limbs.

It reminds me of the many places I’ve been around the world. The different shores.”

Kingston nodded his head slowly. “I see. I shall not attempt to interfere with your nightly sea-wading if you will agree to let me accompany you to the beach. I do not think that it is safe for you to walk or wade at night alone.”

Being alone was rarely safe , Lydia wanted to say, but she didn’t. “I would enjoy it if you were to walk and wade with me as well.”

“I’m not much for the water. I mean only to come as a protection from people and the elements.”

“Thank you, Kingston. That is extremely kind of you. But surely a footman could follow me and save you the time and the effort.”

He stepped closer to her. “I would not be able to sleep if I was unaware of where you were or how you are.”

Lydia couldn’t keep in her smile. “Thank you.”

“You have only been a day in my employ, and I can honestly say that I have never seen my daughter happier or livelier. My only request is that you refrain from complimenting her extravagantly on her looks.”

The smile slowly faded from her lips, and her brow furrowed. “Why?”

“Because the best Chloe can hope for is to be seen as a passably pretty girl. I am plain. Her mother’s features were distinguished but not handsome.

She’s not beautiful like you. It will not do for you to fill her head with the belief that she is more than what she is.

You will merely set her up for disappointment from future suitors. ”

Lydia should have agreed with the viscount.

She’d enjoyed two full meals in his house that day, and tonight, she would be able to sleep in a real bed for the first time in over a year.

If she had half a brain, she would agree with whatever he said to her.

But she still had half a heart, and she could not.

“Life is full of disappointments, Kingston. No one knows that better than I do. But everyone deserves to have someone who doesn’t see their flaws.

Someone who just sees the beauty inside them and outside of them, too.

My mother was that person for me, and many a day when I wanted to give up, I remembered that she saw something more inside of me that maybe I couldn’t see.

I am not trying to extravagantly flatter Chloe.

I genuinely believe that she is lovely in all ways.

And I sincerely believe that every person should receive more compliments.

So, I will not stop telling her how wonderful she is. ”

Breathing in deeply, she closed her eyes, preparing to get sacked from the best position that she’d ever hold.

“Very well, Lydia. My mother was not complimentary, so I will defer to your greater knowledge of women and young girls.”

Lydia blinked her eyes open. It was rare for a man, let alone a lord, to defer to a woman—ever.

Before she could stop herself, she said, “I don’t think you’re plain either.

The first time I saw you, I thought that your features were very pleasing.

” Unable to continue eye contact with the viscount, Lydia picked up her pelisse and buttoned it over her swimming dress.

She then slipped on her stockings and boots.

Kingston did not say a word but merely offered her his arm. She gratefully placed her hand on the crook of it, and they walked silently home.