Page 54 of Beautifully Shattered (Secrets & Scars #3)

I feel like I’m losing myself. A month ago, I wouldn’t have cared. I was happy to flip the switch and turn into a badass with barely any feelings, because it was easier than letting the crushing weight of them drown me.

But now I have Tahli to think of.

And if I’m being honest, I have Ringo to think of as well. He means more to me than I ever could have imagined, and while he does like the darker side of me, it’s not something I want to subject Tahli to.

Not that she hasn’t already seen glimpses, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. She needs to learn how to toughen up too. She just maybe doesn’t need to see me go full psycho like I wanted to when I realised what she was telling me two nights ago .

Banes, that fucking prick, had Tahli on his knee… and he kissed her. Like kissed , kissed.

The thought makes me want to hurl.

My poor sweet Tahli.

I guess I should be happy it didn’t go beyond that. Tahli assured me that was it. And aside from cooking for him and serving him dinner, nothing else happened, but she was scared it would.

Mum had started preparing her. Tahli told me that Mum was teaching her how to be a wife.

Ugh, that bitch is going to die. And soon.

If we ever find them.

“She’ll be fine out here with Millie and Lans.” Jols shoulder-bumps me, dragging my attention away from my little sister as she paints rocks by Bobbi’s and Hope’s graves.

She wanted to make the ground pretty for them, so Riggs, of all burly men, wandered around the pond with her and helped her collect a bucket of rocks. Now she’s painting them with rainbows and butterflies and flowers on their smooth surfaces, laying them in the grass around the graves.

“Look, I’m the last person who wants to talk about my brother’s sex life,” Lans leans in on my other side, lowering her voice like it’s a secret. “But he needs to get laid, and you definitely need to get laid. You’ve been a moody bitch the last couple of days.”

I grin, shaking my head. “You know why I’ve been moody.”

“Well, a little bump and grind will take your mind off things for a while.” Lans wags her brows, and we all giggle.

“I’m glad Tahli can’t hear what you’re saying.” Millie grumbles as she steps closer, and I roll my eyes before looking to Lans.

“You sure she’ll be okay?”

Alana nods, her smile wide as she hooks her arm around her sister. “Mills and I will paint rocks with her. We’ve got her covered for at least an hour.”

I bite my lip, glancing at Jols, who beams.

“He’s down in the garage, working on that old car of his.” She holds up a bag. “You’ll need this to get him over the line.”

Taking the bag, I peer in to see a girthy dildo and a small bottle of lube.

“Ahhh, am I using this on him? Is there something about my husband I don’t know?”

Millie makes a gagging noise, and Lans bursts out laughing as Jols starts to explain.

“Can’t say I know about that , but he’s been refusing to stuff your bun until the six weeks are up, which is literally tomorrow, and knowing him, he’ll make you wait until tomorrow and then add another week for good measure.

So that,” Jols points to the bag, “is what you use as an ultimatum. Either he fucks you, or you’ll use that. ”

A laugh babbles out of me, and honestly, it’s a brilliant plan, aside from one thing.

“What do I do if he doesn’t cave?”

“Girl, you fuck that dildo like it’s your last day on Earth.” Lans slaps my shoulder, and we all roar with laughter, gaining Tahli’s attention.

“What’s so funny?”

“Oh… nothing.” I giggle, hiding the bag behind my back. “Will you be alright here with Aunty Millie and Alana for a while, Chook? I have a few things I need to do. ”

Smiling up from the ground, Tahli nods, looking the happiest I’ve seen her since she came here.

I ruffle her hair before heading towards the back of the barn, where the old garage is, and Jols hurries up to my side.

“Just in case you were wondering, that’s brand spanking new. Straight out of the pack, washed and ready to use.” She does a little shimmy as she walks, and another laugh falls from my lips.

I’m thankful to have these women around me. It’d be easy to sink into the dark hole I’m walking the edge of lately, but Jols, Lans and Millie won’t let me fall in.

It’s so nice to have friends again.

Not that Lexi isn’t my friend. She is, but I don’t get to see her as much as I’d like. Hopefully, once all of this is over, that will change.

I ignore the Marx guys sparring next to the barn, paranoid they’ve got X-ray vision and can see what’s inside the bag.

When we reach the garage, Jols skips in, whispers in JD’s ear, and he drops the spanner in his hand, muttering something about leaving the iron on before chasing Jols out and closing us in.

“I swear those two act like they’re on their honeymoon,” Ringo grumbles from under the hood of the old car.

“I wouldn’t mind being on a honeymoon,” I say, dragging my finger along the cold metal panel of the car. “I’d love some Ringo time.”

His head tilts in my direction. “I gave you Ringo time in the laundry room this morning.”

I pout. “Dry humping is getting old.” I sigh. “I want to be filled.”

A low growl rumbles in his chest as he straightens. “Not yet, Angel.”

I sigh, scanning the space, and deciding over by the workbench is my best option for now, so I move over to it and place the bag on the counter.

“What’s in the bag?” he asks, using a rag to wipe his hands.

“Oh nothing. Just a little gift for me,” I say innocently, taking off my coat as I turn to him, discarding it on the stool. “Your sisters are looking after Chook for a while.”

His brows shoot up. “Why?”

I grin at the curiosity in his voice.

“Oh, you know, so I can have some alone time with my gift.”

His brows hitch, so I start stripping out of my clothes.

With a smirk, he slams the hood of his car closed, crosses his arms over his chest, and leans on the bonnet.

“What is my wife up to?”

I shrug, batting my lashes innocently as I toe off my boots, shuffle my pants and undies off, and quickly tug the shirt over my head.

“Angel,” he warns, but I just bite my lip, cupping my breasts before unhooking my bra. “What’s going on here? They feeling full again?”

“They’re always ready for you to suck on.” I palm their heavy weight, giving each one a little squeeze until a drop of milk beads on the tip of each nipple.

“Fuck, Angel. You do realise you’re completely naked right now, right?”

I nod. “Yes, and I’m aching to feel you inside me.”

“We can’t.”

“It’s one day,” I whine, and he shakes his head.

“One day is one day, Angel.”

I pout, realising I really am going to need to pull out the big guns.

Turning, I fish out the lube and hold it up so he can see.

“Making my cock slippery isn’t the solution. One more day.”

I roll my eyes, sighing, and reach into the bag, wrapping my hand around the pink, glittery silicone dildo.

It takes everything in me not to burst out laughing as I drag it out, watching his expression twist in horror at the sheer size of it.

Jesus, does Jols really think I can handle this thing?

“The fuck are you doing with that?” he snaps, and I shrug, using my teeth to flip open the lid on the lube before pouring a good portion over the tip of the dildo, watching it ooze a trail down.

“If you’re not gonna fill me, husband, then I’ll do it myself.”

The words sound surer than I feel as I set aside the lube and meet Ringo’s eyes, finding his brows raised.

“Well, go ahead then.”

That fucker!

He’s calling my bluff, and I have half a mind to throw this monstrosity at him, but then it might get dirty, and well, now that I’m looking at it, if he’s not gonna stretch me, then this thing may as well.

When my eyes meet his again, there’s a hint of a smirk tugging at his lips. He really doesn’t think I’ll do it.

Granted, neither did I, but when in Rome or whatever…

Biting my lip, I consider how I’m actually meant to do this. There’s really nowhere for me to lay, and I could sit on the stool, but the old thing looks rickety, and I might break it.

This was a bad idea .

“What’s wrong, Angel? Having second thoughts?”

His shit-eating-grin is getting on my nerves.

“No,” I snap, and decide to be honest. “Just trying to figure out how to do this standing up.”

Maybe I should have watched some porn first. Learned how to seduce my husband from there.

“Pop your foot onto the stool’s foot support.” He gestures to the stool beside me, so I do as he says, thankful for his instruction.

Putting my foot on the timber rail, it opens me up, and I catch the flare of his nostrils, realising this is affecting him more than he’s making out.

Maybe this will work.

“So what now?” I ask sweetly, waving the glittery object in front of me. “Do I just slip it in?”

He nods, his chest rising and falling faster as he watches me lower the dildo between my legs and line up the sparkly tip with my entrance.

“Like this?” I ask, biting my lip as I press it against myself, realising I need to open myself up more to take it in.

Ringo rumbles something like a yes in response, so I try again, bending my knees to give the dildo more access and press the tip of it gently—

“Stop!” he roars, hurrying forward to rip the dildo from my hand, his hands rough as he lifts me and my arse meets the workbench behind me.

“Nothing fucks you but me,” he growls, his voice laced with a possessiveness that sends tremors of pleasure rippling up my spine as his whiskey eyes turn black with lust.

“Then fuck me. Give me what I need. ”

His hands grip the bench on either side of me, his breathing deep and ragged as he fights for control, pressing his forehead to mine.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he admits, his gravelly voice sending shivers through me and turning my body into molten need.

“Not fucking me is hurting me, Cam. I ache for you. So bad.”

Before I even know what’s happening, he lets out a feral growl, his hand fisting the hair at my nape before he slams his lips into mine.