Page 29 of Beautifully Shattered (Secrets & Scars #3)

“I’m ready now,” I whisper, and he nods, tears spilling down his cheeks.

“Okay, Abs. Do you want to stand?”

I shake my head. “I just want to stay here.”

“Then stay here, Angel.”

Nodding, I straighten a little, reaching out as Ringo places the folded paper in my hand, holding the words I cried my way through writing last night.

“Lex,” I call softly to my friend, seated off to the side, reaching out for her.

She hurries over, sinking to her knees beside me on the damp grass, her hand moving to stroke my back as I brace myself for what I have to do.

Unfolding the piece of paper, I lay it carefully on top of the casket before clasping Ringo’s and Lexi’s hands, needing their strength to get through this.

Then, I clear my throat to begin.

“My sweet little Bobbi Cameron Musgrove. I never got to hear your laugh or see your eyes widen in excitement. I never got to learn what songs would make you dance, or how you liked your toast in the morning.” I take a deep breath, needing a moment to let myself cry before blinking away the tears enough that I can read the words on the paper.

“You were here for what feels like a single breath, and then you were gone. But I need you to know, you mattered.” I blow out a breath, taking another moment and feeling Ringo’s gentle squeeze of support around my hand. A silent reminder that I’m not alone.

“You were loved the moment you existed. It didn’t matter how you came to be.

Not to me. And not to those who truly matter.

And even though I’ll never get to see you blow out your birthday candles, or kiss your scraped knees after you tumble off your bike, you will always live in my heart.

I will carry this love for you every single day for the rest of my life. ”

A loud sob wrenches itself from me as the weight of those words sink in. I still don’t understand how I’m here burying her when she feels so alive in my heart.

“I don’t have stories to tell about your life,” I continue, pushing through. For Bobbi. For myself. “So I’ll tell the world who you were to me.”

Ringo’s hand tightens around mine, and I feel the way he’s suffering too, sitting here, right next to the daughter he lost only a few years ago. I bet he’s remembering the pain of that day .

“You were my daughter,” I choke, my next words meant not just for me, but for Ringo, too. “You were my hope.”

His eyes meet mine, flooded with tears, his lips silently forming the words, ‘I love you’ , and I squeeze his hand this time, offering him the same strength he offered me.

“You were my little burst of sun who never got the chance to shine.” I don’t even need to read the paper anymore. I know what comes next.

“So today, we farewell you by wearing my favourite colour, yellow, and I gift you this blanket, so you’ll always be wrapped in something I love.”

Letting go of Ringo’s and Lexi’s hands, I slide the yellow baby blanket off my shoulders and drape it gently across the casket, lowering my head to it to take the moment I need.

When I sit back up, I swipe at my tears, accepting the tissue Lexi offers me, and I glance at Ringo, taking the hand he offers so I can prepare to say my final goodbye.

“Under this Jacaranda, where two babies now sleep forever, may the wind carry the lullabies of our hearts.” I sob. “I will miss the lifetime we lost. But I will never, ever stop being your mum.”

I collapse back over the casket, not ready to stand and leave her yet, crying as others join me, my heartbreak bleeding into the world around us.

No one speaks. They remain where they are, patient and respectful as my grief takes hold.

When my wracking sobs ease, and I work up the courage to move, I press a kiss to the top of the casket, and let Lexi and Ringo help me to my feet.

My whole body is trembling as they guide me off to the side, before Ringo clears his throat and steps up to speak .

“Thank you for coming today, and for the childhood gifts little Bobbi can keep with her always. Once the casket has been lowered, please step forward and place your gifts in the chest,” Ringo gestures to a small toy chest that will be buried at the foot of Bobbi’s casket, “and roses may be laid around the grave.”

Through my tear-filled eyes, I watch my friends from Fox Pines step forward first. Marcus, Jared, Dee, Simon, Shaun, Garrett, Rhys and Tyler. They place books, a teddy, rattles and more in the toy chest, before coming to me and each pulling me into a hug I’ll carry in my heart forever.

Lexi and Ayden go next, placing a pair of ballet shoes and a small ukulele in the chest.

The Doxies gift colourful kids jewellery, trinkets, and even a Cinderella dress-up costume. And the Southern Sadists place books, dolls, and even some Legos inside the chest.

Ringo’s mum and sisters have so many gifts, I lose track. And Smitty steps up to the chest, unfolding a small piece of leather to reveal a mini biker jacket, turning it to show me the back with the Southern Sadists logo on it, and on the front, the patch says, ‘Little Princess Bobbi’ .

It’s overwhelming, and unexpected, and I don’t think Smitty will ever truly know how much that means to me.

Jols steps up next, placing a motorbike helmet inside, and JD places a game of Twister in it.

All the gifts are truly wonderful, and I hate that little Bobbi never got to enjoy them.

Once everyone has stepped back, talking quietly amongst themselves, Ringo gives me a little squeeze, pulling my focus back to him.

“Will you come with me while I give Bobbi my gifts?”

My brows lift in surprise. I hadn’t expected him to have gifts, and I wonder how he even found the time. But then again, I’ve been distracted a lot since we started planning for today, so it’s possible he managed to arrange something while I wasn’t looking.

I nod, and he holds me close as we slowly approach the toy chest, now practically overflowing.

“I bet she would have loved every single thing inside there,” I whisper, and Ringo nods.

“Yeah, she would have.” He clears his throat, reaching out to JD, who hands him a small paper bag. “I have three things for Bobbi.”

Reaching into the bag, he pulls out a small picture frame and turns it to show me a picture of us on our wedding day. I’m on his lap, and we’re both laughing and looking at each other, my hand resting against the ivory satin stretched over the swell of my stomach… over Bobbi.

“Oh… my…” The words catch in my throat as tears come again, the sight so beautiful and so heartbreaking all at once.

“I want her to always have a picture of the three of us,” Ringo’s small smile is warm as he locks eyes with me, “on a day we all felt safe and happy.”

“Cam,” I sob. “This is… so beautiful. Thank you.”

Reaching up, he cups my cheek, his thumb brushing over my damp skin.

“There’s another one upstairs in our bedroom for you.”

In an instant, my arms are around him, and he presses a kiss to my hair as he bends us and places the picture in the chest.

“You’ll like this next one. ”

There’s a lightness to his tone that has me pulling back, and he reaches into the bag, and pulls out a CD, holding it up to show me the cover.

A laugh bubbles out of me as I stare at the cover of One Direction’s Take Me Home album.

“I figured she’d probably have terrible music taste just like her mum,” he teases, “so she’d probably like this garbage.”

“Ringo!” I slap his shoulder, and he chuckles.

“It has that fucking awful song you walked down the aisle to.”

I snatch the CD from him. “Saying things like that will get you divorced.”

He winks. “You’ll never leave me.”

I shake my head, my smile fading as I hand it back, remembering why we are here.

“Thank you,” I whisper. “She would have loved the CD, and not because of me, but because you gave it to her.”

His smile is soft as he places the album into the chest before straightening and reaching into the bag one last time.

This time, when he pulls his hand out, there’s a small velvet box resting in his palm.

I have no idea what it is, but by the look on his face, his eyes swimming with emotion, I have a feeling this is going to make me cry. Which, let’s be honest, isn’t exactly hard today.

“I know I’m not technically her dad,” he starts, clearing his throat before continuing. “But I’d intended to raise her like she was my daughter, and I feel her loss just as much as I felt Hope’s.”

And here come the tears.

“So, I got her this.” He opens the box, showing me the tiny bracelet inside before he lifts it out and dangles it before me. “I got it engraved. ”

Swiping at my tears, I try to clear the blur so I can see properly.

The bracelet is mostly silver, with gold detailing framing the front panel, and tiny silver and gold butterfly charms dangling at each end, with an inscription on the front.

Bobbi Cameron

“There’s more on the back.” Ringo’s voice is choked up as he speaks, and I turn it over to read the back.

Love Dad xx

It’s so simple, yet means so much, and a sob breaks free as I throw my arms around his neck, clinging to him.

“It’s beautiful,” I manage between my tears, and he squeezes me to him, my feet leaving the ground for a few moments as he buries his face in my hair.