Page 5 of Beautifully Shattered (Secrets & Scars #3)

Remaining in the doorway, Ringo talks quietly to Lexi, who nods and glances back at me, offering me a small wave before leaving.

And then… just like that. We are alone.

No.

I don’t want to hear this. I can’t take any more bad news.

I need to go.

Throwing back the sheets, I swing my legs over the side of the bed when Ringo’s voice interrupts me.

“What are you doing?"

“I need to leave. I can’t do this, Ringo. I can’t bear to hear what you have to say. I know I wanted to know, but now I know I’m not strong enough to handle it.”

Ringo sighs. “You can’t leave. You have a guest.”

I shake my head, lowering my feet to the cold floor.

“No more visitors. I don’t want to see anyone.”

“Seriously? You’re really going to turn me away?”

The voice from the doorway hits me like a lightning strike, and I swear, time stops.

My eyes snap up, locking on the wheelchair gliding into my room, pushed by JD .

I barely register him, because in that chair is someone I was sure had died.

“J-Jols?”

She giggles. “Yeah, I don’t look that bad, do I? Am I really that hard to recognise?”

Tears explode behind my eyes, spilling down my cheeks as I stumble off the bed, my knees nearly buckling beneath me as I take my first step.

Ringo is right there, catching me before I hit the ground, his powerful arms helping me close the distance.

I crash into Jols sitting in the wheelchair, clinging to her like I’ll never let her go again.

She hisses, and I jerk back, my eyes going wide as I take her in.

“Shit. Sorry,” I gasp, panic rising as my gaze snaps to JD, but he just smirks like he expected this.

“It’s okay,” Jols half laughs, half groans. “I’m on the mend.”

She’s wearing a hospital gown like mine, but I catch a dressing peeking past the neckline.

“You got shot… I thought…” The lump in my throat swells. “I thought you were dead.”

She shrugs, like that little detail is barely worth mentioning.

“I’ve been shot before. It doesn’t hurt as much as you’d think.”

Ringo scoffs from behind me. “That was your body going into shock.”

Jols just shrugs, shooting me a lazy grin.

“I’m not so easy to kill.”

I stare at my friend. The one who reminds me so much of Lexi .

Her long, dark hair is braided back messily, like someone tried but didn’t really know what they were doing.

JD, probably. Or a nurse who gave it a half-arsed go.

But her eyes? That sharp, striking blue is still there, and her cheeks are rosy. Alive. Glowing like the fight never left her.

It makes me wonder what I look like, and for a brief moment I worry, but then just as fleeting, the care slips from me.

Nothing like that matters anymore.

“I’m so sorry. It’s all my fault.”

Jols scowls. “Uh-uh. I won’t let you do that bullshit, Abbey.

It’s not your fault. My fault. Or Ringo’s fault.

” She stabs a finger in my direction. “The men who did this? It’s all on them .

The fuckers that raped you. The cops who ignored your statement and dragged Allen into it. Every last bit of it is on them.”

Slowly, I nod, knowing she’s right, but still, it’s all centred around me.

My head starts to swim, a wave of dizziness washing over me, and I stumble.

Ringo is right there again, his hands strong and steady as he guides me back a few steps and lowers me into a chair.

“Take it easy, Abs,” he mutters quietly, concern lacing his voice.

I nod, but don’t meet his eyes, the familiar feeling of grief curling back inside my chest once again.

None of this is fair.

I love Jols. I really do. But she got shot and she’s still alive, yet my little Bobbi… she’s not. She’s dead.

I don’t want to be here .

“Can you two helicopters give us some girl time?” Jols asks JD and Ringo, and they lock eyes before nodding, their gazes landing back on me.

“Will you be alright for a bit, Angel?” Ringo asks, and I nod, not knowing the real answer to his question.

Will I be alright?

Probably not.

Nothing is alright.

Nothing will be alright ever again.

I barely notice Ringo and JD leaving the room, my thoughts swallowing everything as I stare at nothing.

“Talk to me.”

Jols’ voice slices through the fog, and I blink up, meeting her stare.

“I’m glad you’re okay.”

She frowns. “Don’t talk about me. Talk about you . What are you thinking?”

Why does she want to know that? She can’t change anything. Can’t bring my baby back.

“I think I want to be alone.”

She quirks a brow. “Pushing people away won’t help.”

“I dunno. Kinda feels like it will,” I mutter, my voice flat, and Jols sighs.

“Ringo’s worried about you.” She wheels her chair closer, boxing me in, giving me nowhere to look without it looking obvious that I’m avoiding her eyes.

“He should stop.”

“He blames himself, you know?” She reaches up and rubs her collarbone like it’s hurting.

Is that where she got shot ?

I shrug, not answering her question, and I catch the frown pulling at her features.

“You blame him?”

“I made him promise to save Bobbi before saving me,” I snap, the words ripping out like they’ve been burning my throat all of this time.

Her brows shoot up, and she stares at me in disbelief.

“You made him promise something impossible,” she snaps. “How could he ever know what was going to happen? He’s not a medical professional, Abbey. He’s just a man. A man madly in love with a woman, trying to do everything in his power to protect her.”

The words slam into me like a truck, and I break, fat tears bursting from my eyes, burning a trail down my cheeks.

“He shouldn’t have made the promise then.”

The words leave my mouth, knowing they are selfish, yet I can’t make myself take them back.

For a long, drawn-out moment, Jols just stares at me.

Her silence is unforgiving.

I want to ask what she’s thinking, but also, I don’t, because what does it matter?

Nothing matters anymore.

“Turn the tables,” she finally says. “Put yourself in his place. Helplessly watching the person you love in pain, dying right before your eyes, making a declaration of love, and begging you to do something that even God himself couldn’t do.

” Jols shakes her head, her glare burning as she watches me.

“You fell, Abbey. That fall caused you to go into early labour. Your placenta was damaged or whatever the hell it was. You were in the middle of nowhere . No doctors. No equipment. Just the earth, the trees, and a bunch of Marx medics trained to handle war wounds, not internal placental abruptions and babies born ten weeks early.”

Jols huffs, her chest rising with the anger of having to spell it out to me.

“Nothing could have saved Bobbi. Even if she’d been born in this hospital, there’s no guarantee she would have survived.

” Reaching forward, Jols picks up my hand, wrapping both of hers around it.

“Sometimes, bad things happen that are out of everyone’s control, and I’m so extremely sorry, Abbey.

I’m so sorry you have to go through this.

I can’t even imagine what you are feeling.

But even so, one thing I do know is you’re going to need me.

Your friends. Ringo. Leaning on us is the only way you get through this. ”

I shake my head, easing my hand from hers and rising to my feet, the action forcing her to wheel her chair back to give me space.

“You’re wrong.” My voice is cold. Dead. “The only way I get through this is by killing the men who did this.”

Her face pales.

I don’t think it’s because she’s shocked, but more like she knows just how true my words are.

The door bursts open as JD hurries in, fear etched on his face.

“Fuck. We've gotta go!”

I snap to attention, watching as he takes out his phone and calls someone.

“What’s going on?” Jols asks, but his answer comes when whoever he calls picks up the phone.

“Satan’s Rebels are heading this way. Get out of the pissa!”