Page 34 of B.D.E: Falling Hard For A BBW

Ghost

I sat on the leather sectional in the high-rise apartment with my burner on my lap.

.. waiting. If this nigga said anything other than what I wanted him to, I would have no problem sending his bitch ass to reunite with his parents.

My mind had been spiraling since I ended Gideon.

It’d been two weeks since I watched him take his last breath the shit was still fucking with me.

I hated that I was grieving a nigga that I hated, the one who tried to erase my existence but here I was, fucked up about his death.

I wanted so bad to be close to Specs because she brought out this calmness in me, but I let Gideon’s final words fuck with me head.

“You know that little nerdy bitch of yours? She won’t stay… not once she sees what you really are, a fucking monster. She’ll run just like everyone else,” he laughed .

I played those words in my head a million times and I knew he was right, which is why I left her with a letter and disappeared.

Well, I tried to, but I realized I was already in too deep when I found myself sitting on her futon as she slept and watching her until the sun rose, slipping out only moments before she woke up.

I’d been watching her for two weeks, seeing every tear she shed, watching her curled up with the pillow that had my scent, watching her call out my name in her sleep.

Here I was sitting in another niggas house waiting for him to come home so I could kill him for just being in her presence.

What fucked with me the most is seeing how much she’d changed over the past two weeks.

I knew shit was off when I would watch her sitting around the Café while her home girl did all the work.

She looked sick and pale. I knew once I saw her through the window staring at herself in the mirror from the side and holding her flat stomach…

. She was carrying a piece of me. That shit scared me more than anything I could ever imagine—being something that I never had, a father.

Hearing his voice from the hallway before the key hit the lock snapped me out of my thoughts.

“Yvette, I’m not about to go looking for him just to read his part of the will. What? No, listen. I’ll see you in the office tomorrow and then we can figure something out.”

Hearing his voice from the hallway before the key hit the lock snapped me out of my thoughts.

Moments later, he was walking in with his phone and briefcase in hand, moving through the dark not even realizing that his life was in danger.

When he hit the lights and saw me sitting on the couch, he damn near jumped out of his skin.

His eyes bulged when he looked down and saw my Glock out on my lap.

“Ghost! What—how the fuck did you get in here? What do you want, nigga?”

“What I’m tryna figure out is why the fuck you was in Spec’s café today?

Can you help me with that nigga? And before you respond, remember that I’m not a nigga of many words so make sure your answer ain’t wasting my time cause anything that does, disappears.

” I said, calmly but inside, I was everything but that His livelihood depended solely on the next set of words he spoke.

He frowned. “What?”

“Specs." I tilted my head. "Why the fuck was you at Specs' spot?”

He squinted. “Specs?”

I stood. His eyes dropped to the gun in my hand.

“Ivy, nigga,” I hissed. “Her name’s Ivy but I call her Specs. So I’ma ask you one more time... Why the fuck was you at her café?”

Realization hit his face like a slap.

“I was there forTori , ” he said. “Tori told me she was helping her friend out, so I stopped by to see her, nigga. I ain’t know shit about Ivy being your girl.”

I stepped closer. “You still ain’t answer my question, though. Why were you there? What you want with her?”

“I told you, I was meeting Tori.” His voice rose now, trying to match mine. “That’s it. I didn’t say shit to Ivy outside of hey, a checking up on her…Tori said she was sick. Since you checking for me, did you know that nigga?”

My hand tightened on the Glock. I believed him, but I didn’t trust him or anybody else… not around her.

“You got some fuckin’ nerve!” Marcus snapped, stepping toward me now, chest out like he wanted to die about it. “Comin’ where I lay my fuckin’ head,knowingI just had to bury my fucking father. Yeah, I know what he did, but he was still my blood, Ghost. You left me with a big ass mess.”

I shrugged. “He made the mess. I just cleaned it up.”

He stared at me, jaw tight. “Nah, nigga. Youset it on fireand dipped.”

I cocked my head, stepping forward slow. “And nigga if you got a problem with that, you can get yo’ issue with me right here, right now. Just know, it ain't gone end how you think it is.”

I raised the gun, just enough for him to see I wasn’t bullshitting. Marcus wasn’t stupid though, so he knew that I wouldn’t hesitate to blow his fucking brains out if I had too. We stood there, heat in the air thick enough to choke on.

“I don’t hate you, Marcus... I never did.” I paused, voice flat. “I envied you.”

That caught him off guard.

“I watched you live life regular, while I was out here watching muthafucka’ die.

I’ve seen more bodies drop than you ever will.

You got to walk around, laugh, be soft. I had to look a muthafucka’ in the eye as the life drained from their bodies So yeah, Gideon was your blood, but that nigga wasn’t mine.

Plus, he fucked over a lot of people before you ever got old enough to notice. ”

I let the silence settle before saying, “He got what was coming. Whether it was me or somebody else.”

Marcus looked away, his shoulders falling some.

“I don’t hate you either,” he muttered. “I’m just… fuck, man. I’m tired. I ain’t got no more to give.”

I tucked the Glock into my waistband and sat down again.

“You remember Bart?” I asked.

He turned toward me. “Light skin Bart rom 10 th grade?”

“That foot-ball player nigga that always ran his mouth. He used to talk crazy about your acne and shit, tried to snatch that little bitch with the red hair that you use to talk to.”

Marcus nodded slow. “Yeah. Then that nigga stopped coming to school out of nowhere. Word was he fell down some stairs and broke his leg and his neck. He was in the hospital for weeks. Nigga never got to play ball again.” He paused.

“Wait. How the fuck you know about Bart? You wasn’t in school with me, Ghost.”

“I wasn’t,” I said calmly. “But I did that shit to him.”

His eyes widened.

“I been watching you for years. Even when I wasn’t around, I was around. Making sure nobody fucked with you.”

The room fell into a silence deeper than before.

“You was the closest thing I had to a brother,” I said. “So, I protected you then and I always will, regardless of what your bitch-ass daddy did.”

Marcus sat down across from me. We sat in silence thinking about all the fucked-up shit that happened in our lives. Then he cracked a crooked grin.

“So, you telling me you out here falling for somebody? Mr. Cold-as-Ice? That shit is wild.”

I shook my head. “Specs different. You wouldn’t get it.”

“Nah, you right. Sheis different,” he said. “I see why you’d spin the block for her. But let me guess… she don’t know all this crazy shit you been on, huh?”

I chuckled, but it was empty.

“She will. One day.”

He stood up and clapped my shoulder. “Long as you don’t pop up in my crib every time you spiral, we good.”

I smirked. “Long as you don’t end up athercafé again, we good.”

He nodded. “Fair enough.”

Little did he know, I was serious as fuck. So serious to where I was going to pay that weird ass nigga that love to come in and flirt with her a visit. He wouldn’t be as lucky as Marcus was.