Page 14 of B.D.E: Falling Hard For A BBW

Ghost

The cold bit through my skin like a blade, even in mid-spring.

Gideon always made me run before the sun came up.

He always said you should “earn your day.” I was soaked with sweat as I made it to the porch, damn near out of breath.

There Gideon stood, with his black fur coat wrapped around him like the king that he was.

Funny how he never got out of here and ran, just criticized and talked shit to me while I did.

“What the hell was that? You call that a finish?” His raspy voice cut through the dark.

“I said sprint the last hundred, not jog like you got time to waste, young buck.”

I didn’t answer, just nodded and headed back inside to the weight room to start benching.

He stood behind be in silence, watching my form.

I hated being observed all the time. Like he was waiting for me to fuck up so he could talk shit.

And most of the time he stayed quiet, only speaking up when I was doing something the wrong way, and something was always wrong in his eyes.

“Lock your wrist, young buck. Your bleeding force.”

I adjusted and immediately felt the difference. I hated that he was right, again. After I was finished, I racked the bar as he stepped in front of me. His hands were tucked behind his back, military style.

“You’ve got the strength. Now build the mind to match it. I didn’t take you in just for you to half-ass your way through life. No, I took you in cause’ I saw potential.”

“Yes sir,” was all I mustered up to say. I knew better than to say anything other than that.

He nodded once, with a small hint of approval that was barely visible.

“Dinner is at seven. Make sure to dress decent and not in those damn gym shorts. You’ll be joining us tonight.”

That caught me off guard cause’ usually, I ate in my room.

Not that I had to but because it was easier to avoid small talk.

I didn’t have to pretend to not notice Marcus bragging about school or sports or whatever the hell he was doing that week that made him seem normal.

After Gideon took me in, he hired a private teacher to home school me and make sure I still got my education, despite the circumstances.

“Marcus already left out for the tournament?” I asked with a bitter taste of jealousy on my tongue.

Gideon paused for a second, taking in my question. He knew what I was really asking.

“You’re not Marcus.”

I clenched my jaw. “Didn’t say I was, I just asked a question.”

“You think I don’t see you? All the jealousy and envy is burning through your eyes when you see Marcus. He gets to live life how he lives because I don’t need two soldiers, I need one. You,” he admitted.

I looked away as that burning feeling crashed into my chest. I hated that it was there. Hated that I even cared.

“You took me in when you didn’t have to. Why?”

“No,” he agreed. I didn’t have to, but I did. Because I saw value in you, so don’t waste it comparing yourself to someone who was never built for the for the kind of life you’re going to lead.” He turned to walk away, then stopped at the door.

“Remember what I told you?” he asked.

“Emotions get you killed. Discipline keeps you breathing,” I quoted the words he spoke to me every day. So much that I memorized them front and backwards.

He nodded. “You’ll thank me one day,” he added. “If you live long enough.”

Then just like that, he was gone. I just sat there with the towel around my neck, staring at the rack, trying not to think about how Marcus was probably laughing somewhere with his friends, jersey still damp from the game sweat or hugged up kissing his girlfriend, while I fought to remember what laughter even sounded like.

Gideon wanted to dehumanize me and make me in his image.

He was sadly mistaken because in the end, I would be better than his image.

I woke up with sweat gliding down my face and a fire burning in my chest. Gideon’s voice was still echoing in my skull.

“Build the mind to match it.”

I didn’t know why the hell I kept dreaming about him, but it seemed like every time I closed my eyes, he was there.

Drilling his rules into me like I was still the kid he molded into a cold and lethal killer.

Like his fucked-up way of raising me was justified because he gave me a bed and a name.

I kept feeling a tight pull in my gut that I couldn’t shake.

A voice tell me that this was his doing.

He was the one trying to knock me off. The man who built me from nothing was the same muthafucka trying to erase me.

Shit was crazy but I knew deep down, there was some truth in it.

I slowly opened my eyes, realizing that the room was dark.

I’d been hiding out in Spec’s apartment for almost two weeks, in and out of sleep while my body continued to heal up.

There was just enough moonlight slipping through the blinds for me to see Specs curled up on the futon in the corner with the blanket pulled up to her chin.

Her mouth was slightly open and her glasses her folded on the crate beside her.

She looked peaceful as fuck. Too peaceful for the world I came from.

I didn’t know what this girl was doing to me, but being in her presence had me feeling weird shit that I didn’t know how to explain.

Specs had a body out this world that I wanted to dominant and fuck the shit out of but at the same time, I’d seen more in her than just some pussy.

I gritted my teeth, thinking about the lame that was flirting with her downstairs the other day and staring at her ass.

I wanted to snap his fucking neck for looking at what was mine, but I knew it would be too much for her.

She still hadn’t asked much about my life or how I even got here so I knew she was green to the fact that I was a calculated killer.

CRASH!

A loud crash snapped me out of my thoughts.

It sounded like broken glass or metal hitting the concrete and it came from outside.

Spec’s jerked up as a soft gasp escaped her lips.

I was already on go mode swinging my legs over the edge of the bed.

I pulled the drawer beside the bed open and wrapped my fingers around the grip of my gun.

I cocked it back with a practiced motion and headed towards the room door.

Whatever the hell that was, I knew it wasn’t good.

“Stay here,” I whispered firmly to Specs as she blinked, still half-asleep.

“Wh—”

“I said stay.”

She nodded her head, eyes wide as I turned to walk out.

My killer instincts quickly kicked in as I crept down the narrow stairs, barefoot with my gun low but already on the trigger.

I was itching to put a muthafucka down. My eyes quickly adjusted to the darkness as I scanned the café.

I looked towards the back and noticed that the back door was cracked open.

I moved with quick precision towards the door then used my shoulder to push it back.

As I stepped into the alley, I noticed a dark figure on the right.

He came at me full force with a blade, but I pivoted, dodging it by an inch.

I slammed the side of my fist into his throat, then drove my knee into his gut.

He grunted but came back swinging, fast. I could tell that he was trained by the way he moved and fought back.

Ex-military maybe.

We were throwing hard punches until I got him on the wall and elbowed him hard in the chest. My gun skidded across the pavement, but I didn’t even need the shit no more. My hands alone would kill him. I gripped his throat and squeezed.

“Who the fuck sent you?” I questioned him through gritted teeth.

“F-u—ck y-o-u!” I squeezed harder as he struggled to breath, clawing at my hands.

He was good but he for damn sure was no match for my strength.

Gideon always said that my strength was unmatched so if it was him that sent this muthafucka, it was a dumb move on his part because he should’ve known that he wouldn’t make it back alive.

His eyes bulged as I squeezed out every piece of strength I had to end his life.

My tunnel vision set in and the noise in my head had faded out.

Now, it was just him, me and the fire in my blood that said to end this muthafucka.

So, I did. His body sagged and his hand dropped, letting me know that there was no more breath in his body.

I slowly released my hands from around his neck, letting his body drop to the ground.

“Oh… my… God.” That horrified voice pierced through my ears.

I turned fast to see Specs standing barefoot in the doorway in an oversized shirt. Her face was pale as hell, and her hands were shaking. The way she looked at me told me everything… she’d seen it all.

Fuck!

She stared at me like I was the monster under the bed, the one she was scared of as a kid and that shit pulled my heart strings.

I never gave a fuck what people thought of me.

I never cared about the lives I’d taken.

But in this moment… I regretted it all. I took a step forward and she ran.

I could hear her small feet hitting the stairs as fast as her legs could carry her.

I wanted to go after her, say something, explain shit; hell, even lie if it meant calming her down, but I couldn’t. I still had a body to deal with.

I could tell he was somebody’s soldier cause even at the brink of death, he wouldn’t fold with a name.

I’d never seen him before so I couldn’t for sure say that this was one of Gideon’s men.

I knelt down and dug in the pockets of his pants and jacket, searching for a phone or anything on him that would give me an idea of where the fuck he came from.

Bingo!

I pulled out the flip phone he had tucked in the back pocket of his black cargo pants.

Gideon was old school and always used flips phones for business with muthafuckas but that didn’t mean shit right now cause it could’ve been from anybody.

I flipped it open and went to his call log.

Nothing. I backed out and went to see if he’d had any recent messages.

There was one message thread. I opened it and read the two texts that were sent to him.

The first one was an address—Ivy’s café.

The second one sent a burning sensation through my chest.

Unknown: Kill the girl, then kill him.