Page 18 of Barely Breathing (Merely Mortal #3)

Chapter

Eighteen

Consciousness returns like steady waves lapping against a shore, each one bringing more sensations than the last. I want them to stop. I don’t want to leave oblivion. My body aches from being thrown against the filing cabinet and choked. I feel the bruises forming along my back and ribs. The taste of blood lingers in my mouth. It hurts to breathe. Not only because I suspect my ribs might be broken, but my throat is strangled and raw. My head throbs with every heartbeat, a racking pain so deep I dread the next pulse.

“...couldn’t stop Elizabeth then, and now she’s allied with the wolves.” Costin’s voice drifts through the fog. He sounds exhausted.

What’ s he doing here?

He continues, “The shipping manifest showed?—”

“You should have come to us immediately.” Astrid’s tone is hard despite its quietness. “Instead, you erased her memory and let my family continue working with the Freemonts.”

I’m lying on something softer than the floor. A couch, maybe? The leather feels stiff against my fevered skin and I’m sticking to it. My muscles protest as I try to move, so I don’t.

“I made a choice,” Costin says. “If she remembered what she saw that night, Elizabeth and the Freemonts would have killed her and made sure the body was never found. I cut a deal with Chester. With her memory gone, there was no threat. We made it look like the shipment was lost at sea. I did what I had to do to save her life.”

“You should have told us,” Astrid answers.

“I told George. He agreed with me. Tamara needed protection. She was already in danger with the amulet’s prophecy.”

“And you both should have told me .” Astrid’s irritation is growing.

“Because you and I are so close?” Costin almost sounds mocking. “You’re a magic. As are the Freemonts. Your families are friends. They came to your country estate as much as I did. Why would I trust you with this if George didn’t? ”

“We are hardly friends,” Astrid denies. “It’s easier to keep an eye on them if they’re close. Besides, Mabel leveraged that damned lost shipping container for those invitations. The woman is insufferable. I wish I had lost her at the bottom of the ocean.”

“I’m trusting you now.”

“What’s changed?” Astrid asks.

“Everything.” His voice drops. “I can’t keep lying to her. Draakmar’s influence is pushing the memory fragments to the surface. There are parts from that night that I don’t even know, like what happened before I arrived and what she discovered in those records. I didn’t have time to watch what I was suppressing when I buried the memory. The wolves had the container and were already leaving the shipping yard. I tried to go after them, but I was too late. I spent months trying to figure out where they took it. Whatever was in that shipping container disappeared. We need Tamara’s full account.”

Hearing my name, I manage to blink open my eyes. The ceiling ripples above me. We’re no longer in the library but in what looks like an office and sitting room. A large metal shield hangs on the wall behind a desk. It’s not as dark here, but the candlelight still makes the shadows dance. When I try to peel myself off the leather, the room spins dangerously .

“Careful.” Costin appears beside me, his hand steadying my shoulder. “You’re all right. I’m here.”

I try to answer, but I croak.

“I’m here too,” Astrid appears behind him. She tries to push him aside to touch me. Costin doesn’t relinquish his place.

I want to tell them this isn’t a competition as I witness the stubborn set to both of their jaws.

“The transition back can be disorienting,” Costin says.

That’s an understatement.

I try to speak again and only grunt. I reach for my neck. The amulet is there. My skin feels tight under my ears and down my throat. I feel dried blood.

My throat is raw, like I really did just face Chester at the shipping yard instead of nine years ago. I again attempt to sit up, and Costin automatically helps me. He sits next to me, almost too close to my sore body.

“How long?” My voice comes out rough. I look down. My cardigan is stiff with dried blood. I hold my neck. “My throat…”

“A few hours.” Astrid stands over me, her posture rigid. “You’ve been screaming.”

“Do you know who we are?” Costin asks.

I realize they are watching to see if the experience has altered me. Both of them stay very still, waiting for my answer .

I can’t resist. I furrow my brow and look confused. “Castoffs?”

Astrid’s eyes widen, and she gives a soft gasp. I see magic flare against her fingers.

Costin arches a brow. “Very amusing.”

“Tamara!” Astrid scolds as she catches on a second later. The magic dissipates. “That is not funny, young lady.”

I start to laugh, but it hurts. I groan instead. “Oh, ow.”

Astrid lifts a goblet toward me. “Drink this.”

“I’m not tired.” I refuse to take it.

“It’s not that. It’ll help with the pain,” Astrid insists.

My ribs hurt when I breathe too deep, and the promise of relief is too much to pass up. I take the goblet.

“Drink,” my mother orders, gesturing her hand as if to tip the goblet toward me.

My hand lifts it to my lips. The bitter liquid burns as I swallow, but it instantly lessens the pain.

“What did you see?” she asks when I lower the goblet. “Tell us everything. In detail.”

When I speak, my voice is better. I tell them everything, every detail. It’s as clear as if it just happened.

“That bastard,” Astrid mutters under her breath when I mention Chester’s attack. Then, to Costin, she said, “You should have lost him at the bottom of the ocean.”

“I still might,” Costin adds.

“When I woke up at my desk the next morning, I didn’t remember any of it. I didn’t even remember coming in to work the night before.” I think back to that following morning. Everyone had been so disappointed in me, and the shame of it had followed me for years. My father never gave me another chance. “I thought I fell asleep on the job. Mabel was there yelling about a lost shipment. Since I was the shipping clerk, everyone assumed I mis-keyed the entry and sent the shipment to the bottom of the Atlantic.”

At the time, I knew nothing about the container belonging to the Freemonts, and the event was significant enough to get me instantly fired. I remember feeling lucky they didn’t think I lost it on purpose. The exact contents of the shipment had been unknown, and Mabel never hinted at what was so important, but I assumed it was likely something highly valuable or magical.

“When I think of how many years and how much money has been put into paying the merfolk and other sea creatures to search the ocean floor for it…” Astrid purses her lips together and shakes her head.

“I’ll reimburse you,” Costin dismisses.

“It’s the principal, not the money,” Astrid quips .

“The container,” I interrupt as I try to focus through the lingering pain and bring them back to what’s important. “It wasn’t on the right ship. They changed the manifest to put it on an ironclad. It arrived earlier.”

Costin’s hands curl into fists.

“The magic must be old and powerful if they needed an ironclad to contain its power for the journey,” Astrid reasons.

“Did anyone ever figure out what was really in it?” I ask.

Costin and Astrid exchange a look that makes my stomach clench.

“Wait.” I sit up straighter despite my protesting muscles. I feel like the answer is right in front of us. “I think I might know what they were smuggling.”

My hands start to shake at the realization. They both stare at me, eagerly waiting for me to explain.

“Well?” Astrid demands.

“In Thane’s sanctuary, I saw an altar with words carved into it. Blood and moonlight. I told you that, Costin. Remember?”

Costin frowns in disappointment. “That means nothing. In vampire and werewolf traditions, blood represents sustenance and familial bonds. It’s how we are born into our new life. While the moon governs our existence as our powers are tied to the lunar cycles. ”

“No, it has to mean something,” I insist. I feel so sure about this. “You weren’t there. Thane acted like it was important.”

“I’m sure he did. Thane’s beliefs tend to lean toward mysticism,” Astrid almost seems dismissive. I half expect her to pat me on the head and call me a cute, simple human girl. “The altar is probably some sex prop he uses to seduce women.”

The potion she gave me is making my stomach tingle, like the magic is attacking the pain in my ribs. I take a deeper breath. It’s distracting me from what I’m trying to say.

“Blood has long been tied to both birth and death, while the moon waxes and wanes, symbolizing renewal and decay,” Costin says. “Both could be said to represent duality—life and death, light and dark, creation and destruction.”

“Right, a sacred covenant,” Astrid inserts. “For those who rule the shadows.

“Alchemists saw the moon as a mediator between worlds,” Costin adds, “and blood as the vital essence connecting the mortal to the divine. People put faith in many things. None of that helps us.”

“Just wait…” I struggle to find the words to politely tell them to stop talking while I try to think.

“I’m sorry, Tamara. He’s right,” Astrid agrees. “Vampires and wolves saying ‘blood and moonlight’ is as generic as humans saying ‘heart and soul.’ They’re bound to the blood and moon like humans are bound to the physical— their hearts —and the metaphysical— their souls .”

“Would you just listen?” I order, pressing my hand to my temple. I gently rub to ease the headache behind my eye. They keep talking over me. It’s annoying. “Both of you. Just give me a minute.”

They stop talking and stare at me.

“I know it means something. Those same words appeared on Chester’s manifest that night,” I explain.

“Chester’s manifest said blood and moonlight?” Costin looks to Astrid, who shrugs in return.

“Yes, but it wasn’t English. It was another language, just like the altar.” I attempt to say the ancient words. “ Sang… sang-something ?”

“ Sanguis et Lūnāria ?” Costin fills in.

“Yes,” I nod. “Thane said it means blood and moonlight.

Costin goes completely still. “Are you sure?”

Even Astrid’s perfect posture stiffens.

“Yes.” My voice is weak as I feel waves of power.

“You saw the altar with those words?” Costin’s voice carries a dangerous edge.

“Yes. When we had that audience with the Alpha, and Thane took me aside.” I watch his expression darken. “We didn’t exactly go into detail about… Well, I mean, you weren’t exactly in a sharing mood yourself. Then Elizabeth and Mabel showed up. We left, and you were aggravating me. And then that memory came back from when I was sixteen, and you ripped out Robert’s heart in our library.”

“You killed Robert in our library?” Astrid demands in surprise. “Mabel’s vampire lover? That’s what happened to him?”

Costin scratches the back of his head. “I cleaned it up.”

“We’ll discuss that later,” Astrid promises in annoyance as she takes a deep breath. “Tamara, describe this altar.”

“It’s twisted metal and stone.” The idea of that room makes me shiver. “Thane has it in a circular chamber beneath a glass ceiling.”

Costin stands. “I’ll be right back.”

I stand to protest, but he disappears in a blur.

Astrid moves to take his seat and pulls me back down. “Have another drink.”

I obey, lifting the goblet to my mouth. When I swallow, I shake my head. “I can’t believe they’ve been planning this for nine years. The ritual, the sacrifices...” My head spins as I try to connect it all. “Did they know what would happen to me? About Paul and Diana? That seems like so many pieces to fall into place. Chester wanted to kill me that night. ”

“I would assume they didn’t expect you to become what you are.” Astrid’s gestures at my amulet. “They probably thought you were just a mortal who saw too much. They couldn’t have known you’d be the dragon’s chosen one.”

“But I am just a mortal .” The word tastes bitter. “Draakmar, the prophecy, all of it is borrowed power. The amulet’s power.”

“No.” Costin suddenly reappears, holding a thick tome of a book. His hand finds mine. “You were never just anything, Tamara. Never to me.”

He starts to pull me close, and my arm brushes up against the book. At the contact, Draakmar’s consciousness slams into me, and the amulet flares with a warning. I jerk away from Costin. The dragon’s frenzy floods my senses, and I can’t understand why the creature is agitated. My vision blurs and turns red. Pain shoots through my skull, worse than the memory recovery. Blood trickles from my nose again.

“Tamara?” Costin reaches for me as the door bursts open.

“My lord!” A servant rushes in, terror plain on his face. “Werewolves in the foyer. They’re trying to access the elevator.”

Costin stiffens and turns his head sharply toward the door. “My sister is nearby. I feel her. Tell the men to seal the tunnel and then hide. ”

The servant runs to do as he’s ordered.

Astrid’s already moving, magic crackling around her hands as she snatches the book from Costin. “I’ll protect this, and I’ll handle the wolves. They won’t expect magic.” She sweeps toward the door, her heels clicking against the stone. “Keep Tamara safe.”

I try to protest, but another wave of dragon worry rips through me. Through distorted vision, I watch Astrid disappear with the book, leaving Costin and me alone.

“The pain should pass,” Costin says, reaching to steady me. “Just breathe?—”

I hear stone scraping against stone. Movement flickers near the fireplace. A blurry figure materializes from the shadows, emerging from what must be one of the underground tunnels. Elizabeth steps into the flickering firelight, her biker leather-clad form a contrast to her brother’s elegance. I blink rapidly, forcing my vision to clear. I can’t see how she entered the room.

“What are you doing here?” Costin hardly sounds welcoming. He puts himself in front of me as if to shield me from her.

“Ah, brother dear, that hurts me,” Elizabeth purrs. Her smile is razor sharp. “Aren’t you happy to see me?”

Costin’s body fills with tension.

Elizabeth holds up a finger and tilts her head to the side as if listening to something in the distance. She gives a short laugh. “Oops, sounds like they sealed the tunnels to the underground city a little too late.”

“You’re not welcome here.” He stays in front of me.

“Is that any way to greet family?” She moves further into the room, each step deliberate. Her gaze sweeps over the space, lingering on the blood-stained couch where I’d been lying. “Are we having snacks?”

“What do you want?” Costin’s voice carries deadly calm.

Elizabeth leans to the side, and her attention fixates on me. She wiggles her fingers to wave. Her fangs extend as she takes a step closer. “Well, hello there, my little amuse-bouche.”

I lean closer to Costin.

“Oh,” Elizabeth wrinkles her nose. “What did you do to the poor thing? She looks like roadkill. Didn’t our mother tell you not to play with your food? I honestly can’t remember. It was so long ago.”

“What. Do. You. Want?” Costin reiterates.

“You’re especially testy today.” Her predatory smile never falters, but it never reaches her cold eyes. “I’d have thought centuries would have mellowed you. If you don’t want to share your treat, all you have to do is say so. Rude,” she lifts her brows in mock affront, “but fine.”

I grip Costin’s arm as another wave of pain threatens. The amulet feels heavy against my chest, and I feel Draakmar begging to be unleashed.

“Actually,” Elizabeth studies the back of her hand, “I came to deliver a message from Thane. Time’s up. He wants to know if your toy has an answer to his offer. Her for Paul.”

Elizabeth shows her fangs, the gesture practiced to instill fear. She’s enjoying her sick game. Her eyes swirl with blood and power. I can tell she would like nothing more than to rip out my throat.

Elizabeth directs her gaze to me. “Though, maybe we should find you a bath first. All the dried blood might give the wolves ideas.”