Page 10 of Barely Breathing (Merely Mortal #3)

Chapter

Ten

“Tamara?” Costin asks, his voice jerking me out of the secret tunnels. My head feels dizzy, and it takes me a moment to remember we’re still inside werewolf territory. The past is so real that the feelings of being a teenager in that house linger even as my vision clears.

This is not the information I was expecting. We’re wasting precious time out here while the memory of his brutality towards vampire traitors wars with my need for his help in the present.

I’m out of my league. I’m not too stupid to realize that.

This revelation about his past violence isn’t what I need. Not with Paul captive and Diana missing. Not with time slipping away.

“Tam—”

“Don’t touch me!” I jerk away as Costin tries to steady me. The memory leaves me shaking, but anger burns hotter than fear. We need to deal with the werewolves. Instead, I’m discovering more lies. “You’ve been messing with my head since I was sixteen? What else have you hidden from me?”

“What do you?—?”

“Don’t try to deny it. I remember you finding me in the tunnels at the country house after I saw you…” I can’t bring myself to say it out loud. The lingering fear of being in the secret tunnels settles inside of me. “I saw what you did.”

How many other memories has he stolen? How many other secrets is he keeping?

“Let me take you somewhere safe.” He reaches for me again.

“Safe?” A small laugh escapes me in disbelief. “Like your home, where you can mesmerize me into submission for another week?”

His eyes narrow. “You’re making a scene.”

I look around the empty road. Before I can protest, he pulls me against his chest. The world blurs into darkness. His body the only solid thing I can feel. It keeps my nausea from the teleporting at bay…barely. When my vision clears, a burst of candlelight reveals that we’re in his bedroom. He doesn’t immediately release me. For one heated moment, I’m aware of every point where we touch .

I wrench away from him. The covers are pulled back on the bed, and the familiar crimson sheets mock me with memories of waking up confused. I grab my dizzy head and try not to vomit. “Damn you, Costin!”

“I didn’t mesmerize you,” he says like he’s done me a favor.

As my fist launches, I know it’s stupid. I punch his jaw, and his face doesn’t even move—not even to flinch. Pain radiates up my hand, but the contact sends an electric current through us both. His pupils dilate, nostrils flaring as he senses my anger, my fear, my unwanted arousal.

I’m going to ignore both the blow to my ego and how my body responds to his proximity.

“Listen to me.” He catches my wrists as I try to shove him, using the momentum to pull me closer. His breath tickles my skin, and I hate how my pulse jumps in response. “Everything I’ve done has been to protect you.”

“Liar.” The amulet burns between us, and I feel Draakmar’s rage mixing with mine. “None of this has been for me. You only care about your agenda. You’ve been controlling me, hiding things from me. Just like with Paul?—”

“Stop.”

“Or what? You’ll make me forget him, too?”

“Don’t say his name.” Costin’s voice dips dangerously low. His grip tightens on my wrists, and I see his careful control slipping.

“Why not? Because you let the wolves take him?” I try to pull free, wanting to strike out in my frustration, but he keeps me close. “You can’t expect me to believe you couldn’t catch the werewolf who took him. You’re Lord Constantine, the most powerful vampire on this half of the planet.”

He says nothing.

Oh, how I wish my fists could hurt him, but he’s like trying to battle a steel wall. There is nothing I can do to sway him.

“Please tell me you didn’t have anything to do with their taking Paul.” I start to lose my fight, and I’m desperate for him to deny it.

Still, he says nothing.

“Did you arrange for them to take Paul?” I stare into his eyes, wanting to find the truth. “Is that why you mesmerized me for a week? So I wouldn’t figure out your part in it?”

His jaw clenches. “You were safe here, with me.”

It’s not a denial.

“Tell me the truth, Costin, or we’re over.” I think of all the years I’ve known him. It’s been a lifetime for me and barely a glimpse for him. I don’t expect my threat to have any effect on vampire royalty. I’m merely a human with a magic charm. He’s one of the most powerful people in the world .

“I feared the moment you fixed the amulet that everything would unravel, but what choice did we have? Draakmar needed to be tamed. The prophecy needed to be fulfilled. I promised George.” The crimson in his eyes dissipates until there’s no darkness left.

My grandfather, George, was one of the few people in my life who genuinely loved me for me. He accepted that I was human and didn’t make me feel bad about it. And he was always honest with me. I feel like I’m a pawn to everybody else.

The pieces are falling into place. “You knew. You knew when we repaired the amulet that Paul would remember, and you knew he’d come for me.”

“I suspected a great many possibilities.” His hand slides to my throat, his thumb pressing against my pulse.

My heart stutters. “What are you saying?”

“Paul shouldn’t have come back here,” Costin continues. “He should have taken his daughter and stayed in Kansas.”

I try to piece together the truth from what Costin is saying. “So you knew Paul’s memories would return?”

“What would you have me do, Tamara?” His voice rises with each word. “I smelled him on you the night of the birthday fire. His scent, his mortality, his claim?—”

“His claim?” I laugh, but it comes out breathless as he backs me against the wall. “You’re jealous. The great Constantine, master vampire, is jealous of a mortal.”

“I don’t share what’s mine.” His mouth hovers close to my lips, and despite my anger, they part in anticipation.

“I don’t belong to?—”

His kiss cuts off my protest. The hard press of his mouth is all about possession. His hands release my wrists to slide down my sides, gripping my hips hard enough to bruise. I should push him away. Logically, I want to push him away. Instead, my fingers curl into his shirt, pulling him closer as the amulet heats between us.

A memory flash of being pressed against a different wall, fluorescent lights overhead, threatens my thoughts, but Costin’s touch pulls me back to the present.

His fangs graze my lower lip, drawing blood. The metallic taste should repulse me, but it only fuels the fire building between us.

“Tell me you don’t want this,” he growls against my mouth. “Tell me you don’t feel what is between us.”

I should. By all the gods, I know I should. But instead, I lift my leg along his thigh as an invitation.

“No more lies,” I demand between kisses. I keep a fist around his shirt, torn between pushing him away and pulling him closer. “No more?—”

He takes my hips and lifts me easily against the wall. I feel the length of his arousal, and the promise of what’s to come rushes through me. My heart beats so fast I hear the blood rushing in my ears, and I know he can hear it, too. It’s the sound of my mortality. Costin moans, the sound more monster than man, and I shiver in anticipation.

His lips slide across my cheek to my neck. Fangs lightly move over my skin, but he can’t bite me when I wear the amulet. It gives me a sense of pleasure knowing I can make him lose control like this, make him fight against his nature.

“No more Paul,” he whispers hotly. “I don’t want to hear his name on your lips.”

The possessive growl in his voice shouldn’t arouse me. Heat pools low in my belly. It feels so good to be claimed by him.

He carries me to the bed, laying me across those damned crimson sheets. They’re cool against my back, and I feel like a fool for being here willingly. I can’t tell if it’s fear or anticipation as I wait for my mind to slip into a mesmerized haze. Costin is so powerful and in control. He makes me feel helpless and yet safe at the same time. It’s a dangerous combination—this trust I have in him despite everything and this need that goes deeper than physical attraction. Every time I try to pull away, we end up here, drawn together like moths to a volcano that will probably destroy us both.

“No more talk of werewolves.” His mouth trails down my neck. “Just us. Nothing else exists.”

There is a begging in his tone I haven’t heard before.

The amulet grows hot, trying to warn me to be careful, but the sound of my heartbeat drowns out Draakmar’s whispers. Costin’s hands slide under my shirt, his touch making me arch in pleasure.

“Promise me,” I manage, even as my fingers work to undress him from his shirt. “Promise you’ll tell me everything.”

He leans back just enough to meet my eyes. His expression becomes unreadable. “You don’t want everything.” His thumb traces my lower lip. “Some truths are better left buried.”

“That’s not your choice to make.” I wrap my fingers around his wrist, stopping his caress. “I’m not a child anymore, Costin. I’ve faced Draakmar. I’ve survived your sister. I can handle?—”

“My sister?” There’s something dangerous in his tone. “What do you know about Elizabeth?”

Shit. I forgot that timeline was erased. Before I can think of how to explain, he’s already pulling away, his expression closing off.

“What aren’t you telling me?” he commands .

This might actually work in my favor. The fact Elizabeth is having issues doesn’t seem to be new information to anyone. Things are starting to make more sense after seeing the memory Costin had erased from my past. Elizabeth was scheming even then. It’s not like I have to protect her and not tell him. “You first.”

“You want honesty?” Costin’s mouth finds mine again, harder this time. He pulls back only long enough to say, “Here’s the truth. I want you.” His hands move under my shirt, making me shiver. “I’ve waited years for that prophecy to end and for my promise to be fulfilled.”

“That’s not—” My protest cuts off in a gasp as his lips move over my neck and across my collarbone. His tongue traces patterns on my skin that feel like ancient symbols. “That’s not what I meant by honesty.”

“No?” His fangs scrape lightly over my breast through my bra, sending ripples of pleasure over my body. “Then tell me to stop.”

I can’t. His touch sets my skin on fire, and I’m lifting into his caress before I can stop myself. My fingers fumble with his shirt until he simply tears it off and tosses it aside. The sight of his bare chest, perfect and pale in the dim candlelight, makes my breath catch.

“Tell me you don’t want me.” His voice is rough as he undresses me with vampiric speed, leaving me bare beneath him. The cool air tightens my nipples, and his eyes focus on my chest.

The feelings I’ve been trying to suppress since he kissed me at the gate leading to werewolf territory surge forth.

His mouth replaces the cool air on my nipple, tongue circling one peak while his fingers tease the other. The contrast between his cooler touch and my heated skin makes me gasp. He needs to feed. Blood would warm him. None of that matters right now. My hands tangle in his hair, holding him closer.

“The sounds you make,” he murmurs against my skin. “They are like music to me, every sigh, every whimper, every plea.” His mouth trails lower across my stomach, making my muscles jump. When he reaches the inside of my thigh, I nearly come off the bed.

“Costin, please!”

“Please, what?” His breath fans across my sensitive clit. “Tell me what you want.”

“You.” The word comes out breathlessly. “I want you.”

He moves back up my body, and before he settles over me, his clothes have disappeared, so there is nothing between us. His weight presses me into the mattress.

“Only me,” he growls. “You are mine. ”

I can’t form words before he’s thrusting inside me. The sensation is overwhelming—cold and heat, pleasure and pain, love and fury all mixed together. He takes me completely, riding me to the point of exquisite agony.

My nails dig into his shoulders as he moves. Each thrust drives me higher. I forget why I should resist him. The amulet pulses between us, but even Draakmar’s warnings can’t penetrate the haze of intense pleasure.

“Costin…” I beg, clutching his arms to keep him near me.

“Say it again.” His rhythm increases, one hand sliding between us to touch me exactly how I desire.

“Costin. Costin. Costin…” I do, over and over, my voice rising with each perfect stroke.

I sense that his control is starting to slip. I feel it in how his frenzied movements become more urgent and less measured. When his fangs scrape my shoulder, unable to bite through the amulet’s protection, the frustrated growl sends shivers through me.

Release builds like an oncoming thunderstorm, starting deep inside and spreading outward like lightning until my whole body tingles and shakes. When the sweet, fierce release finally hits, the sensations are powerful enough to make me forget, just for a moment, all the reasons we are a terrible idea.

Costin’s climax follows immediately after mine. I hear my name as a harsh whisper against my throat. My heart pounds and my bones feel like they’re melting out of my body and into the bed. I can’t move. I don’t even want to try.

Costin shifts his weight off of me to lie down along my side. His hand lazily finds my stomach as he draws on my flesh. We lay tangled in his crimson sheets for a long, perfect moment. But then reality creeps back in, and I remember how I got here tonight. I trace the marks my nails left on his shoulder. The deep scratches are already healing, but the memory of how they got there burns hot in my mind. I let myself imagine what it would be like if things were simpler—if he was just a man and I was just a woman, if there weren’t secrets, and prophecies, and supernatural realities between us.

Daydreaming about being normal is a useless task. Costin will never be human, and I will never be as powerful as he is.

His fingers continue to trace lazy patterns on me, and I realize they’re symbols used to cast protection spells. Even now, Costin is trying to keep me safe.

“Now, will you tell me everything?” I ask, watching his fingers.

“No.” His weight shifts, and he pulls his hand away from me. He doesn’t move far as he settles next to me. “You first. What do you know about my sister? What did she do?”

“I know she’s dangerous.” I prop myself up on my elbows, trying to ignore how his naked chest looks in the candlelight. “I know she’s working with the Freemonts against you.”

His eyes narrow. “That’s not what you meant. You said you survived her. When?”

The amulet pulses against me, almost like a warning. I ignore it. I’m tired of secrets. “In that other timeline. The one that was erased when the amulet was shattered. She and her minions tried to kill me at a gas station in Kansas.”

His expression doesn’t change, but I feel as if the temperature in the room drops several degrees.

“Impossible. Elizabeth was in Europe when…” He stops, something clicking behind his eyes.

“Nothing from that timeline will make sense. You were dead. I’m sure you had whatever ceremony they do for vampires. She must have come back. Now, fair is fair. It’s your turn. If you want me to tell you what happened, you need to first tell me what you know about Paul’s?—”

“Show me,” Costin demands. Before I can process what he means by that, his fangs pierce his palm. Blood wells dark and thick, too thick to be normal blood.

“I don’t want to be turned.”

“My blood won’t turn you unless you’re dying.” The answer brings no comfort .

“No—” My protest is cut off as he forces his hand against my mouth. His blood drips from the wound. I sputter and gag as I thrash, trying to break free. His other arm wraps around me like steel.

The metallic taste is impossible to escape. The blood tingles on my tongue, almost painful. More than the strange taste, it’s the violation that makes me want to scream. After what we just shared, how dare he do this?

The bedroom begins to fade, reality bleeding away like watercolors in the rain. A small red dot appears, focusing my unwilling gaze. A flash of light comes past my face, making me blink. Dark wood turns into large glass door coolers filled with drinks in front of a white wall as my mind is dragged forcibly back into a memory I’ve tried so hard not to think about.

“Show me,” he whispers like a horrible mantra I try to block out. “Show me…”