Page 11 of Barely Breathing (Merely Mortal #3)

Chapter

Eleven

Salina, Kansas, Several Months Earlier…

“Take it easy, everyone. It’s just a blackout. Looks like it’s the whole block.”

I turn to the voice. Suddenly, I’m standing in a convenience store aisle in the dark. Someone holds their phone as a flashlight. The red dot is a device running on battery backup.

This is all too familiar. I don’t want to be here.

But I am here.

How? I remember this. It’s a gas station in Salina, Kansas. The bus I was on stopped here in the middle of the night. But this was months ago in an erased timeline.

The cashier sounds annoyed as she continues, “I’m calling my boss. Sorry, your purchases are going to have to wait.”

I try to hold on to Costin and his room. I want to remember that this isn’t real. This isn’t happening. It’s only a memory.

The streetlights are out, but I see the running lights from the parked bus waiting for us. I’m alone in Kansas on the way to California to meet my birth mother. I left Paul and his daughter in Kansas City, where they should be safe.

“Please don’t steal. The cameras have night vision,” the cashier warns before muttering, “They don’t pay me enough for this.”

I ignore her. My eyes focus on the bus. I should never have gotten off.

“Where is she?” I hear a disembodied voice whisper. Costin? But he’s dead.

Time slides and bends. The glass doors blow open. Someone screams. I try to fight against the memory—I know how this ends, I don’t want to see it again—but Costin’s blood forces me deeper. Dark blurs fly around the store.

Vampires. Even though I know they can’t hurt me now, my body remembers the terror.

Suddenly, time jumps forward. I’m outside, pressed against an ice machine as I hide. Inside the store, metal shelves crash to the floor. I want to help the people inside, but there is nothing I can do.

My head is dizzy, and it’s all I can do to remain in the moment. I hear a light tap behind me and slowly turn around to see a vampire standing in the window, smiling like a predator who just found his prey. He has a handsome face and short blond hair.

Time jumps again, and I run along the side of the building toward the back. I know it’s hopeless. The monsters are giving chase, and I can’t outrun them.

It happens again. Precious seconds disappear as time jumps. I’m behind the gas station. My skin feels raw from having landed on my hands and knees in the gravel. Three impressively large male vampires and a much shorter female tower over me.

The woman is vaguely familiar. Though she wears tight leather, and her straight black hair is severely angled at her chin, I picture her with longer curls and a blue gown. I’ve seen her in a painting in a book. Recognizing her is not a good thing. It means she’s probably old and extremely powerful.

“What happens next?” Costin’s voice whispers. “Show me.”

I blink in confusion, unable to answer him. None of the others show they can hear him.

I lift my hands to defend myself. I know it’s pointless, but I have to try. Blood runs down my palm from where I cut it on the gravel. I hear a collective inhale as the vampires get a whiff of my blood. I wipe it against my shirt as if it will erase the temptation.

“Please,” I beg. “You’re making a mistake. I didn’t hurt Costin. The fire was not my fault. This is all a misunderstanding, and I promise I will do everything I can to figure out who is responsible. I lost people too in that fire.”

The woman taps her fingers against her thigh. She’s unimpressed with my pleading.

“Humans,” she rasps in disgust.

Usually, vampires have an air of boredom to them. Like the centuries have just added up to create a long eternity of nothingness that they’re trying to fill. But right now, the way they’re looking at me, they’re not bored. They have a purpose, which is more terrifying than anything I can envisage. I can only imagine that what they have planned for me is not an easy ending.

“I had no reason to hurt Costin,” I say. I hear more vampires landing around us, and I put my back to the gas station wall to keep them all in my sights. “We were… We were on friendly terms.”

“You’re braver than most blood sacks. I can see why my brother liked you,” the vampire answers, flicking the back of her nails against her short hair. “Although Costin always did have questionable taste in pets.”

“Costin was your brother,” I state the realization out loud.

“You can call me Elizabeth,” she says .

Another half dozen vampires join us behind the gas station.

“I’m a Devine.” I don’t know what to do. I can’t fight them all.

The smirks I get in response are about what I expect.

“But are you? Really?” Elizabeth jeers.

“I didn’t kill Costin,” I insist. I don’t have it in me to kill anyone.

I fight what’s happening. Elizabeth’s head bobbles, and her eyes roll like she’s stuck in a loop. I need to escape this memory before it sucks me in completely and I forget this is over.

“Show me,” Costin’s voice whispers.

“There is no way you could have taken out my brother,” Elizabeth continues, not hearing Costin speak. “So much for old men and their prophecies.”

I don’t know what she’s talking about.

“We talked to Conrad,” Elizabeth continues. “He made an intriguing proposition.”

I sigh in relief and try to relax. My brother Conrad talked to them. All will be well.

“So, we’re good? This is over?” I ask, hopefully.

“Sure, it’s over,” Elizabeth agrees, “as soon as we kill you.”

“But…” I prepare to go down fighting. “You said Conrad ma de a deal.”

“Oh, you don’t…” Elizabeth laughs, prompting the others to do the same.

I wish somebody was coming to save me, but there’s no one. I’m all alone in the world. Who would even care that this is happening?

“Sweetie.” Suddenly, Elizabeth is in front of me, cupping my face. Her fingers feel like ice cubes against my skin, and the scent of ash lingers like perfume. When I stare into her eyes, I see a cold emptiness.

Rage burns through me—not only the helpless fear of that night that I can’t escape, but present fury at Costin for making me face his sister again, even in memory.

“Conrad did make a deal with us,” Elizabeth continues. “We kill you. We turn him. And we gain access to the great Devine empire.”

I try not to cry, but I can’t help it. Elizabeth lifts her fingers from my cheek to her mouth to lick my tears before lightly slapping me with her wet hand. “Brothers! Am I right?”

“I don’t believe you.” I don’t want it to be true. Conrad is my brother. Family has to mean something.

“You do know he tried to sell you to my brother in exchange for turning him.” Elizabeth is enjoying herself. “Costin refused, of course. This offer, though? Yeah, I’m going to take it. ”

More tears fall, and I’m shaking. I lift my hand to swat her away, but it’s like slamming against a brick wall. The blow has absolutely no impact on her.

“Gah, you’re so…” Elizabeth grunts in disgust. “Mortal.”

“Let’s eat her,” one of the vampires suggests. “I’m hungry.”

“Yeah, such a tasty little treat,” another adds.

Time wavers and their image blurs slightly before coming back into focus. I see Elizabeth’s fangs coming toward me. I try to fight, kicking and thrashing to be free.

“No, no, no…” I beg. I taste blood in my mouth.

I’m going to die. I feel only one regret. Paul. I regret that I did not have more time with him. I should have told him how much I care. We could have been in love.

Nothing makes sense. I hear my heart hammering in my head. I taste the blood in my mouth, stinging my tongue. I feel my body being held down. Vampires converge like locusts to feast upon me.

“Stop. Go back,” Costin’s voice whispers. “Let me see them all.”

My attackers rewind, falling off me as I’m pushed back up. Time freezes, and I can’t move. It holds me captive for several moments before I’m again on my back, thrashing to fight off my attackers. Hands claw into me to hold me down. Elizabeth’s fangs scrape my neck.

I’m going to die.

Oh, fuck, I’m going to die.

Not here. Not like this. Not…

Why doesn’t she bite?

A blue light flashes so fast I’d miss it if it didn’t bounce off Elizabeth’s ear, blocking my view. I feel a release of pressure like a pulse is sent out into the universe. The vampires fling away from me in a flurry of pitching limbs and surprised screeches.

“No!” I scream, fighting bodies that are no longer there. My fists punch at air. My legs tangle in bedding. It takes me a moment to place where I am.

Costin’s bedroom.

He’s withdrawing his bloody hand from my mouth, but I taste him. Still, I fight, struggling to escape.

“Easy, Tamara, easy,” Costin soothes.

I blink and spit, trying to get rid of his taste.

“You’re safe.”

“Fuck you, Costin!” I yell, rolling away from him to land on the floor.

I lift my arms to defend myself as I look around the room. It’s only the two of us, but the fear from the memory lingers. It felt so real. I was back in that moment.

Costin reaches for me as if I will just fall back into bed with him.

“You had no right to do that.” I spit the words at him, still tasting his blood on my tongue. My whole body shakes with fury. “No fucking right! You just proved you’re exactly like your sister. You take what you want, consequences to everyone else be damned.”

“I needed to know what Elizabeth did,” he says, reaching for me again. “This was too important.”

I dodge his touch.

“Important? I just let you in…” My voice breaks, remembering how vulnerable I’d been moments ago in his bed. The betrayal tastes bitter in my mouth. “So I really don’t matter at all. It’s about beating your sister.”

“It’s about keeping you alive!”

“I would have told you everything. But you couldn’t wait, couldn’t trust me. You had to force your way into my head.”

“I am not my sister,” he states as if he’s the one who should be offended out of the two of us. “You should take a breath and calm yourself. That timeline no longer exists?—”

“But the memory does. The feelings do! I would have told you without going through that hell again.” I wrap my arms around myself, hating how my body still tingles from his touch even as my mind recoils. “Your sister is an evil bitch who was trying to fill a power vacuum that is no longer there.” I drop my arms. “What’s your excuse?”

“You don’t understand what’s at stake. I needed to see which vampires sided with her.” Costin moves toward me. I back away until I hit his bedroom wall. I want to run but doubt I’ll make it to the elevator.

“Then explain it to me what’s at stake!” I slam my palm against the wall. “Stop treating me like some chess piece you can move around the board. I am so tired of everyone telling me what’s best for me. I’m not a porcelain doll that needs to be locked in the protected wing. I know you get off on controlling every?—”

“You think that’s what this is?” His eyes flash crimson. Good. Let him be angry. I’m pissed.

“I know it is. You can’t help yourself. You’re used to everyone obeying your every whim.” Yelling feels good. I don’t want to stop.

The crimson fades. “That is what you think of me?”

Damn him. I want to fight. Why isn’t he yelling back?

“I am responsible for everything that happens in North America. If I fail, the elders will send warriors from the old countries. It’ll be a bloodbath. This is something my sister never cared about. Yes, she wants power, and your memory of her in that other timeline is not the first time she’s tried grabbing for it. Joining forces with Conrad to control your family would have been too much for her to resist.”

The implications hit me like a physical blow.

“That vampire you killed when I was sixteen? Robert? He said something about your sister.” I try to focus on the past. It’s easy since the memory feels new. “He said the North American territory is too vast for one master. He thought your control was slipping, and even your sister questioned your ability to rule.”

“That was one of her many attempts at an uprising,” Costin agrees. “Each time, she pushes further and tests more boundaries. The council fears what she might discover in her quest for power, what ancient laws she might break, what forbidden experiments she’ll perform. I’ve been tasked with keeping her in line.”

“If she’s a traitor, why do you put up with it?” I heard what he told the vampires in the study. Any traitors would be dealt with in the same manner he dealt with Robert.

Before he even answers, I know the reason.

“She’s my sister,” he says. “What’s happened to her is my fault. ”

I wait for him to say more. I need him to talk to me.

His voice drops. “Elizabeth will not stop until she finds a way to destroy what matters to me.”

I feel his pain. “Who would have thought this is what we have in common?”

“My sister?”

“Siblings out to get us,” I correct. I loved my adopted brother, and he betrayed me. “Conrad framed me for arson and murder and then tried to kill me. Up until the very end, I didn’t want to believe the truth about him.”

“It’s not the same,” Costin says. “Elizabeth is dangerous, yes, but she’s not trying to kill me. She wants what I have. And she wants me to know she has taken it all away from me.”

Something in his tone makes me ask, “And what do you have?”

“Power. Control.” His eyes fixate on my amulet. “You.”

I laugh, but it comes out hollow. “Me? I’m just a mere mortal who happened to get caught up in supernatural politics.”

“You’re far more than that.” He moves closer, and I hate how my body responds to his proximity. “You tamed Draakmar. You survived the labyrinth. You’ve changed everything.”

“And that’s why you’re so desperate to control me?” The anger rises again. “Because I’m what—some kind of supernatural prize to be won?”

“Because I can’t lose you.” His voice drops to barely a whisper. “Not to Elizabeth, not to the werewolves, not to Paul. I lo?—”

“Don’t say it’s love.” I cut him off. “You don’t love me. You want to possess me, control me, use me in this sick game against?—”

Suddenly, his mouth presses into mine, desperate and hungry. For a moment, I forget everything—the memory, the betrayal, all of it—and lose myself in the kiss. Then the amulet pulses, and reality comes crashing back.

I shove him away. “No. You don’t get to do that anymore.”

“Tamara—”

“I’m going to find Paul.” I grab my clothes from the floor, dressing quickly. “And when I do, we’ll figure out what this ritual really is. Without your help.”

“You won’t survive without me.”

I pause at his door. “Maybe not. But at least I’ll die making my own choices.”

The amulet is warm against my skin as I leave, and for once, I think Draakmar agrees with me.