Page 58

I put it down because the minute I smelled it, only one word came to mind to describe it, you.

To me it smelled like the coffee shop where we read books.

It smelled like your office where we had our sessions.

It smelled like the drive-in movie in that town you love to hate.

It smelled like the room in Bea’s when the lights were off and it was just the both of us.

Now those places don’t actually smell like vanilla but that’s what I remember whenever I think of that scent. I heard your laugh, I saw you rolling your eyes and I felt your hands in mine

You’re my vanilla, Adira.

It hit me like a freight train that day, and I was so terrified that you didn’t feel the same.

I love you, more than I have loved anything in my life, more than my career and I would rather give up everything than do something to hurt you.

I had to stay away for the past few days because I needed to clear up everything that went wrong. You’re probably pissed off at me right now but meet me at the bookstore and I swear I will explain everything.

Please.

By the time I was done reading, I didn’t know how to respond. I kept reading the words over and over again wondering if I had somehow manifested those words on the paper but they didn’t change. It was Nathan’s cursive and those were his words.

I glanced at Olivia who had her head cocked to the side. I didn’t know how to relay those words back to her and I didn’t want to because something about them felt intimate and special and I didn’t want to share it with anyone .

“I need to go,” I said to her. “But I need to change first. Can you help me?”

“Of course,” she beamed and she rushed to her feet. “Are we looking for casual or spicy?”

I left the house about ten minutes later in jeans, a tank top and Nathan’s jacket that he had left in my house. The jacket wasn’t my first choice and if I was being honest then I had even forgotten that it existed until Olivia pulled it out musing that she had never seen it before.

I took an Uber because somehow I knew the day would end with Nathan in my house.

By the time I got in front of the store, I expected to feel some sort of fear or nervousness but there was nothing but anticipation swirling in my belly.

I pushed open the doors and somehow I found my feet leading me to the table we shared the two times we were here and sure enough, Nathan was there.

He was in slacks and a button up shirt and when he saw me, he let out an audible sigh of relief. The table was bare save for two plastic cups and he rose to his feet when I saw him.

“That was some letter,” I began slowly as I took a seat opposite him. “Why did you ignore my call?”

“I wanted you to receive the letter before I said anything to you. I wanted my cards on the table before you made your choice.”

I hummed as I leaned back into my chair. “Was Mark a part of it?”

He knew what I was asking and I saw him debate his next answer in his head before he nodded. I expected to feel pride at being right but there was nothing. I couldn’t bring myself to conjure up any sort of feelings in relation to Mark Vasiliev .

“It just so happened that Mark was involved in those clips getting out and suddenly his news is on the news. You wouldn’t happen to know how that happened, would you.”

Nathan smiled wryly. “I have no idea, but I think Mark should keep a better handle on his affairs or better still, he shouldn’t do them.”

If I didn’t know Nathan I would have believed him but I remembered his words from Couture Week and a normal person would be worried that he could do that without blinking but I found it endearing.

Should I be worried about what other secrets he had in his arsenal?

Probably, but what I don’t know won’t hurt me and I knew that Nathan would never hurt me.

“You love me.”

I didn’t phrase it as a question but I said it in such a hopeful tone that it ended up coming out sounding like one.

“I do,” he responded with a voice as soft as velvet, “more than anything in the world.”

“I love you too.” He let out a breath of relief as the words left my lips and I stood to my feet. “Do you want to get out of here?”

The corner of his lips quirked up and he stood to his feet. “Don’t think I didn’t notice that you’re wearing my sweater.”

“I didn’t have anything else to wear,” I said defensively and he hummed.

“Somehow, I find that very hard to believe.”

“I don’t care what you believe.” I rolled my eyes at him and picked up one of the plastic cups. “Thanks for the coffee by the way. I’ve drank it more times since I met you than I have in my entire life. ”

“You’re welcome.”

He reached for my free hand and I let him hold it.

We walked towards the entrance together and I wasn’t paying attention because I was still riding the high that Nathan Cowe loved me and I loved him too.

If someone had told me when we first met that I would have willingly invited him to my house, I would have called them a liar and asked them to get their eyes checked.

I didn’t notice that Nathan had stopped by a bookshelf and I bumped into him, making the drink in my hand spill all over my- well Nathan’s jacket and I muttered a small curse under my breath. Nathan turned to me and I saw a small smile playing on his lips.

“Don’t fucking laugh,” I grumbled as I threw the now empty cup into the trash. “This is the third time you’re pouring something on me.”

“Technically, you poured it on yourself because all three times were your fault.”

“They were not, but you know what they say, bad things happen in three’s. I should have expected this to happen.”

He raised a brow and took a step closer to me until I was pinned between him and the wall. I blinked up at him innocently.

“Are you saying that meeting me was a bad thing?” he asked with his lips brushing over mine and I felt the corner of my mouth quirk up in a small smile.

“It was the absolute worst.”

The words were barely out of my mouth before he kissed me and I realized that maybe, just maybe it wasn’t the worst thing in the world.