Page 48

I never realized how hard it was to avoid someone until I had to avoid the person I was working with.

Thankfully, Nathan has basically stayed out of my way but I know that this little thing we have going would implode sooner or later.

Nathan isn’t one to avoid people, and I know for a fact that he has something up his sleeves.

He has stayed silent while I speed walked past the rooms he is in.

He has also not come into my office for any sessions.

I know he is giving me the space I need but I also know that he isn’t going to do it forever.

Sooner or later, he is going to walk in here and demand my attention. I just hope it happens later.

For now, I will try my best to focus on the fact that I am done with my preparations. The dresses have been sent out and all I have to do is wait to travel. This time I made sure to tell Marissa to book a flight, the last thing I need is my car breaking down again.

For the first time in a long time, I had almost nothing to do in the office. I was contemplating going out for coffee when I heard a knock on my door. It wasn’t soft enough to be Marissa’s and I knew without even thinking too much that it belonged to Nathan.

I thought I would have some more time before being faced with his presence but apparently I was wrong.

He walked in wearing his usual slacks and button up and I watched in silence as he began to set up.

He placed his journal on my desk and I couldn’t help but notice how simple it was- brown and leather bound. I wouldn’t have expected anything less.

I was hyper aware of his presence and I settled for crossing my arms on my desk in front of me. I kept my eyes away from his face and on my fingers that were drumming over the desk. His eyes seemed to follow the action to and I quickly intertwined my fingers to stop them.

“We haven’t talked about Couture Week,” he began, “How was it? Have you checked the reviews and what people are saying online?”

“Not really, but I have seen a few reviews.” I admitted, “Although I couldn’t help but notice the ones who called me a whore because of my dress. They’re in for a treat really soon.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers as he tried to hide his smile and I saw him quickly write something down in his journal.

He asked me a few questions about the show and what an experience it was.

It was going well until he asked about the other judges and I specifically avoided saying anything about Mark.

The last thing I needed was to start up a feud with him.

He never plays fair and I’m not quite ready for that right now .

“I think we’ve said everything we can about this new show. But is there anything special you want to say?”

I thought about it for a second and I ended up shrugging. “I’m just excited for people to see what we all have made and planned. I couldn’t have done it without my amazing team.”

We spent the rest of the hour talking about the upcoming show and for once I was perfectly candid at how slightly terrified I was but also how excited I was to see how things would end.

Nathan had a way of making me feel at ease and making me feel like I could say exactly what I wanted without the fear of him twisting my words later.

Soon however, he closed his journal and sat up straight. “That was our last session. How do you feel?”

“Relieved,” it wasn’t the complete truth but it was part of it. “I’m just glad that I got through it.”

He stayed silent almost as if he was expecting me to say something else but I kept my mouth closed shut. There is no way I am going to admit on possibly live television that I will miss him and his team’s constant presence.

Somehow and sometime during the entire process I got used to the noise and the camera crew. I even got used to wearing the stupid mic and now it just feels weird that it is all over.

Nathan was packing up to leave and I realized for the first time that this might be the last time I see him in my office so casually. An unfamiliar feeling bubbled up inside of me and I didn’t know how to express it.

“Wait, ”

I didn’t realize when the word left my lips. I wanted to take it back but it was already out there and Nathan had stopped what he was doing and he had turned to me.

“Are you all leaving today?”

He nodded, “Post production is going to take a while. I need to be there to oversee most of it.”

There were so many words caught in my throat but I didn’t know how to voice any of them without risking him finding out how I felt. I forced the words back down and instead settled for a snarky statement.

“So that’s it? You know so much about me now, but I know absolutely nothing about you.”

“You know more about me than anyone who isn’t my immediate family,” he said but he left the camera and sat opposite me, “But I’ll humor you, what do you want to know?”

I wasn’t expecting him to do that. In fact, I was expecting him to say something equally sarcastic and we would end the conversation. Now that I am in this position, I had no idea what to say next.

“I don’t-,” I trailed off when I saw that he had raised a brow expectantly. “How do you feel now that it’s ending?”

“You’re not ready for that answer.”

“That’s a bold assumption,” I crossed my arms over my chest and I saw his eyes follow the movement. “Try me.”

He opened his mouth to speak but he shut it almost immediately.

He ran his hand down his jaw and in contemplation, I wondered what was going on in his head.

I have never seen him speechless so I know that isn’t it.

I know he’s probably just thinking of how to phrase whatever thinly veiled insult he is going to throw my way .

“Go out with me.”

I was not expecting that response and my head snapped up to his so fast that I swear I got whiplash. He was staring at me intensely and it took everything not to allow myself get lost in the intensity.

I stood to my feet and walked past him and towards the door. “You should leave.”

I could feel his frustration seeping from every pore in his body and when he stood up, I thought he was going to leave but instead, he pushed the door shut and locked it.

“Why are you doing this?” he asked but I refused to meet his eyes. “You want this just as much as I do and you know it.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

One of his hands came down to grab my chin and he tilted up my face so our lips were brushing. I knew I should pull away so my actions would match my words but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

My eyes fluttered shut against my will and as his lips brushed against mine, I let out a small gasp.

“That’s what I’m talking about,” he whispered against my lips, “Why don’t you just accept it?”

It felt like there was a noose around my neck and no matter which way I went, I was going to suffer for it. I closed my eyes and attempted to pull away but he didn’t let me. He held me in place and stepped even closer so that his body was pressed up against me.

“We work together,” I scrambled through my brain to look for excuses.

“As of today, we don’t anymore.”

“People will say the documentary is biased. ”

“I don’t give a shit what people say,” he pressed a feather light kiss onto my lips, “You’re going to have to give me a better reason as to why you don’t want this.”

“My job is the most important thing to me.”

“I know and it has been a privilege watching how much you care for it,” he mumbled before adding. “I’ll support you and your job no matter what.”

His words seemed to break down each of my defenses and I knew that I was approaching a point where I wouldn’t be able to defend myself anymore. He had a reason to each of my excuses and if I were smarter, I would have ran for the hills because Nathan Cowe is capable of completely wrecking me.

After Joseph I swore that I would never give a man that kind of power over me again but here I am, about to fold from just a few words.

“We shouldn’t,” I was losing this battle and we both knew it. I was grasping for straws at this point and he was well aware of that fact.

“Allow me to convince you of all the reasons we should.” He pulled back softly so he could look at me, “One date Adira, and then you can change your mind after.”

I had already lost this battle and all of this was just semantics. From the moment he asked, I knew what my answer would be. I knew what I wanted my answer to be.

“I could always just force you to come,” he mused, “I’ve done it before and I can do it again.”

I punched his upper arm but I was sporting a small smile. “Fine, one date and that’s it. ”

His lips turned up in a victorious smirk and I rolled my eyes at him. He finally took a step back and I felt like I could breathe properly for the first time. I stepped away from the door and he unlocked it then disappeared through it.

Marissa was leaving her office just as he was leaving mine and her eyes went to him then me and I saw a knowing look cross her features.

I kept my face carefully blank but I knew how observant Marissa is and I know that she probably already knows that something has happened.

She probably knew the moment I agreed to spend one week away from work with him.

“I like him,” she said suddenly and I raised a brow at her, “He doesn’t scare me as much as the others.”

“Good for him then.”

I knew what she was doing. In her own gentle way, she was expressing her support for him. Not that I needed it, but I couldn’t deny that it was refreshing to know that someone other than Olivia approved.

“I think he’s a good guy,” she offered up the words casually and then she disappeared down the stairs.

I sat in my office completely anxious for the rest of the day. I didn’t bump into Nathan but he somehow managed to dominate my thoughts.