Page 45

I woke up to Nathan sitting at the edge of the bed with a coffee mug in his hands that he handed over to me

“Welcome to the land of the living.” He teased and I rolled my eyes but took the mug anyway.

“You brought coffee; that isn’t playing fair.”

“I never play fair.”

The corner of my lips tilted up in a smile and I brought the mug to my lips. There was just the right amount of sugar.

“Do you regret it yet?” he asked and I shook my head, “Good.”

Before I could ask what he meant by that, he took the mug out of my hands, placed it on the bedside table. His hand cupped my jaw and he tilted my head back so that for the first time this morning, I was looking straight at him. Before I could make a snarky statement, he kissed me.

I don’t know why, but a part of me thought that everything would stop yesterday and today we would go back to pretending to hate each other but clearly Nathan didn’t have the same idea. I was so prepared for everything to fall apart that I never thought ahead for the possibility that it might not.

I hated being in uncharted territory and situations I hadn’t planned ahead for. This situation with Nathan was like being thrown into the deep ocean without a life vest or a boat. I was confused on how to go ahead and I hated it.

“I can hear the wheels in your head turning,” he said against my lips, “Do you ever just turn your brain off?”

“Some of us need it all the time so we don’t make stupid mistakes.”

He pulled back and when I looked at him, his eyes were dancing with amusement. “Get dressed, we’re going out for breakfast.”

The shift in the conversation almost gave me whiplash, “What?”

The day was progressing way too fast for my brain to keep up. One minute he was touching me, the next he was kissing and talking about how I think too much and now he is telling me that he wants us to go for breakfast.

“Did you hit your head last night, sunshine?” the barely contained amusement in his tone had me ramming my elbow into his side and the laugh he was struggling to tamp down on escaped him, “Breakfast is the first meal of the day, most often taken in the early hours of the morning to get the body prepared for the day. ”

“I know what breakfast is,” I mumbled as I shot him a death glare.

“You could’ve fooled me.”

I rolled out of bed taking the blanket with me and held it against my body as I made my way into the bathroom.

I could have walked naked, it wasn’t like I was insecure or anything but something about walking around completely naked in front of Nathan felt too intimate and I wasn’t sure if it was the right move.

I dropped the blanket on the floor right outside the bathroom and locked myself in as quickly as I could.

I stared at my reflection in the mirror or rather the person who should have been me but I didn’t recognize the woman staring at me. She looked different, better and not like the chronically stressed person that I know I am. Something about her was a little care free and happy.

After taking a long shower to clear my head, I spent the better part of five minutes giving myself a pep talk before I stepped out of the bathroom in a towel. The first thing I noticed was that the blanket was no longer on the floor, it was folded neatly on the made bed.

I tried to ignore the fact that he had made the bed and changed the sheets, something I probably would have procrastinated doing until evening.

I got dressed and I was tying up my hair when he walked back into the room. He had gone to freshen up as well and I almost rolled my eyes when I realized that once again we were practically matching in jeans and grey shirts although mine was a tank and his was a t-shirt .

He looked me over and I could tell he was thinking the same thing especially when the corner of his lips tilted up in a smirk.

“Nice outfit,” he said with a nod of his head and I refused to rise to his bait.

He walked up until he was behind me. One second, his hand was stroking my face and the next, he grabbed my chin and tilted my head backwards until I was staring into his eyes. I couldn’t look away if I tried and he knew it.

“The appropriate thing to say is thank you,” he enunciated each word slowly as if he was talking to a child, “You should try it out sometime.”

He let go of me and it took the better part of a minute for me to gather my wits. By then, he was already by the door and gesturing for me to step out.

We went down the stairs and I was the first to notice Darius standing there talking to Bea. When he saw us, he stood up from his chair and smiled widely.

“I have good news.” He said as he made his way over to us, “Karl came back yesterday.” He must have seen the confusion on our faces because he frowned, “I thought you would be more excited about that.”

“I’m sorry but who is Karl?”

“Oh, my bad, Karl is the mechanic.” He explained, “He came back last night, said his daughter’s fever broke. I told him about how y’all couldn’t wait to get the hell out of here and he says he will take a look at your car today and you can be out on the open road by tomorrow. ”

I should have been excited and overjoyed by the news but all I felt was an emptiness inside me. Darius still had that proud smile on his face and I knew he was super excited to deliver the news to us- especially me- because I had been very vocal about how much I didn’t want to stay here.

“Thank you.” I said finally, “That means so much you have no idea.”

The lies flowed easily off my tongue and suddenly I became hyper aware of Nathan’s hand at the small of my back. It felt like too much and I thought he would drop it but his hand stayed firm like an anchor holding me to reality.

“If you need us to come with you-,” I began but he cut me off.

“I can handle it,” he assured me, “You can enjoy your last day here. Who knows, maybe you might grow fond of the place after all.”

I gave him the easiest smile I could muster and without another word, he was gone. I couldn’t look at Nathan, I couldn’t bring myself to look into his eyes although I could feel him boring a hole into the side of my come.

“Come,” he said finally, “It’s getting late.”

“Where are we going?”

“Breakfast like we planned,” he gently nudged me forward, “And then we’re going to do what Darius said and enjoy the rest of our stay here.”

We had breakfast at the same café as last time. Nathan placed the orders because for some reason, my vocal chords weren’t working. He ordered pancakes and milkshakes and all I could offer the waitress was a smile that I am sure came out looking more like a grimace .

I forced forkfuls of food down my throat and tried to ignore the awareness that was finally settling on me. I was going back to work with Nathan and I didn’t know what that meant for me and for him.

In all my life, I have never had an issue like this. I always drew the line between business and pleasure very clearly but somehow, Nathan Cowe had me crossing that line. I was stuck and unable to move forward.

I finished my food in silence and sipped on the milkshake. It was banana flavored and it was honestly really good but I wouldn’t admit it to anyone, not even under duress.

Nathan paid for our meals and we went back to the inn. As we got closer, I noticed a lone figure standing there, Bailey.

She was in a plaid shirt and overalls that were stained with paint. She saw me and I knew that I was the one she came looking for. I approached her with caution while simultaneously looking around for Joseph. The last thing I need is to be surprised by his presence.

“He’s not here.” She said quickly and I raised a brow, “I was wondering if I could talk to you. Darius mentioned that you would be leaving tomorrow.”

“I have to go pack,” I began but she cut me off.

“Please it will only take five minutes.” The last thing I wanted was to talk to her and I could have said no but something had me nodding.

She let out a sigh of relief and sat down. I turned to Nathan to explain but the look in his eyes told me that he understood and he walked into the inn.

I exhaled deeply and took a seat opposite Bailey, “Does he know that you’re here?” she shook her head. “Then why are you here? ”

“I wanted to apologize.”

“There’s no need,” I assured her.

“I have to please. In the store I saw how hurt you were and I truly didn’t realize the magnitude of what had happened until I met you. In my head I had kind of imagined you as this fictional person. Then, I met you and you were so nice to me, so much that I just felt horrible and I am so sorry.”

“Like I said earlier, there is nothing for you to apologize for.” She opened her mouth to speak but I cut her off, “I am sure that you are an amazing person Bailey but I really don’t need you apologizing right now.

I understand that it is to clear your conscience but it is not going to do anything for me except remind me of things that I would much rather forget. ”

“I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“You didn’t hurt me. You did nothing to me.” A tear slipped from her eye and I watched her wipe it away, “I’m not trying to hurt you but it’s true. I was never upset with you because I don’t know you.”

She stayed silent and I knew she was debating whether or not to say something.

I watched her, giving her the time she would need to gather her thoughts when I saw a light flash from her phone in her breast pocket.

She probably put it on silent which is why she doesn’t know that someone was calling her.

“I searched your name on the internet yesterday,” she admitted keeping her head down, “I saw the articles and I saw what he said. I never wanted any of that to happen and it was all my fault.”

“Last I checked, it takes two to tango so,” I shrugged, “Besides, you didn’t post that article and you didn’t force anyone to do or say any of those things to me. With or without the scandal, they would have found a way. The situation just provided an opportunity for that and it is not your fault.”

She was staring at me as if I had grown a horn or three. Her mouth bobbed open and close like a fish out of water and I honestly started fearing for her ability to speak and whether it had been impaired.

“I thought you would be mad at me.” she said finally, “I would have been mad at me.”

“When you spend most of your life living like I do, you learn the right places to channel your anger and Bailey you are not the right place.” I stood to my feet, “You should go home and rest. You are obviously overwhelmed and in the last few minutes your phone has rang at least three times.”

She reached into her breast pocket and pulled out her phone. She winced when she saw the missed calls.

“Thank you for talking to me.” she said signaling the end of the conversation, “I really hope you enjoyed your stay at Bea’s.”

I didn’t respond mainly because there was nothing to say. I watched her put her phone to her ear and from the way her shoulders relaxed when she listened to whoever was on the other side of the phone, I guessed it was Joseph.

I was supposed to go back to the inn but somehow I found my feet leading me past it and towards the lake. When I got there, I saw a familiar figure sitting at the edge and I rolled my eyes playfully.

“How did you know I would come here?”

He didn’t look up as he spoke, “The last you would do after that kind of stressful conversation is leave yourself cooped up in that room,” he tapped the spot next to him, “Sit down sunshine, we need to have our own stressful conversation.”

I knew he was right but it didn’t stop me from shaking my head as I sat next to him. I was content with living in this blissful bubble and I didn’t see a need to burst it before I had to. Reality was going to set in sooner or later and I chose later.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” I said as I faced the peaceful lake wondering why my life couldn’t just be like that- calm and undisturbed.

“Adira, we would have to, sooner or later.”

“I choose later,” I heard him sigh deeply, “Can we just spend our last day here without worrying about work or what tomorrow is going to bring?”

“Don’t tell me the place is starting to grow on you.”

“Don’t make me vomit. It would be a shame to waste such good food in that way.”

He shook his head in an attempt to hide his laughter, “okay then, I have another question.”

“What is it?”

“Why do you hate me?”

I was taken aback by the question but not exactly shocked by it, “I don’t hate you. I never hated you Nathan.”

“Yes you did,”

“No, I didn’t.” I chuckled to myself, “You and I are not so different and I knew that from the moment I met you. I hated that and I hated what you represented.”

“And what’s that? ”

“Everything I wanted to be at some point but wasn’t,” I admitted

“I don’t understand.”

It isn’t surprising that Nathan thought I hated him, hell I did at a certain point but it wasn’t until I took my time to actually think about it that I realized that I didn’t actually hate him and I was just misunderstanding the emotions I had towards him.

I didn’t like him at first but I most definitely did not hate him.

“We’re the same to them, the media, the people. You’re the horrible journalist without emotions who everyone fears and I’m a bitchy ice queen but they love you and they hate me. You stood for everything I wanted at the beginning of my career, to be loved, appreciated and respected,”

“You walk into a room and everyone goes silent because they want to listen to what you have to say. I walk into a room and I have to scream to even be heard. I was jealous and I hated that but I never hated you.”

“Add to that the fact that you spilled drinks on two very expensive outfits and you were rude to me at that café.”

“You were rude first,” he cut in and I shot him a look that would make plants wither.

“Maybe, but you were rude period.”

“If I wasn't, would you have even agreed to work with me?” I stayed silent because he had a point.

If he had simpered and cowered like everyone else that I knew then I would have never spared him a second glance. It was the fact that he was willing and able to match my attitude with one of his that made me consider it .

He stayed silent and we delved into a comfortable silence. I can’t remember the last person who wasn’t Olivia that I was able to do this with.

“Everything is going to change when we go back,” I said softly.

“It doesn’t have to.”

“We work together, Nathan,” I deadpanned, “that is enough reason for everything to change.”

“Do you regret it?” he had asked me this question earlier.

“No,”

“Then that’s all that matters for now.”

His fingers intertwined with mine and I let them. For once I chose not to think about what could be or what would be and just stop and smell the roses, or in my case, admire them.