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Chapter 39

Jude

I nsanity.

Outright insanity.

But she had asked me to help her.

She wasn’t running off, trying to do it all on her own. I loved this woman and she loved me enough to let me in. To allow me to make this fight—her fight—mine too.

And damn if that didn’t make my heart swell.

We’d spent the night plotting a course to the site and locating as many potential trails and roads to and from the area as we could.

If there was any chance in hell I could protect her, I would. Or I’d die trying.

Because Mila was my person.

It was stupid of me to fight it.

It was a certainty.

An eventuality.

We fell into bed in the middle of the night, and I watched over her as she tossed and turned.

Early in the morning, I crept out of the cabin. When I got to the end of the dock, I turned on the satphone. I needed to talk to someone. Someone who would get it. Who understood what I was doing.

“You okay?” Gus asked, his voice hoarse.

“Sorry it’s so early.”

“Nah. No problem. Simone and I are snuggling on the porch while Chloe sleeps.”

I smiled, thinking of my infant niece and how much my oldest brother had changed recently. It gave me hope that someday I could have those things too. I’d learned more about myself in the last few weeks than I had in the last few years. Mila pushed me and made me brave, and every day with her made me want more.

“Is something wrong? I thought you guys were going to fly home later today.”

“Change of plans,” I said, quickly catching him up.

“Fuck.” He growled into the phone. “Parker is good at her job. She’s got connections and resources. There is no way she missed this.”

I’d thought the same thing. We trusted her. Though she had been kidnapped and shot at by our fucking father a few years ago, I couldn’t imagine her willingly putting us in danger. She’d been helpful in the process of bringing this drug ring down, even if it was taking far too fucking long.

“Maybe they can’t tell you guys,” he reasoned. “Maybe the mission is top secret or some shit. They could be taking them down right now.”

“I hope so. Regardless, we have to check. We have to know.”

Dread settled in my stomach. This was a suicide mission. How could Mila and I—on a twenty-year-old ATV with one rusty rifle—fend off a sophisticated drug trafficking operation?

“Can you get proof undetected? You know the woods better than anyone.”

Coming from Gus, that was high praise. The simple words gave me a much-needed confidence boost. “Yes. I think I can.”

“Do you have supplies?”

I’d cleaned and oiled the old rifle stored in the shed, and I’d found one box of ammo. It was something, but nowhere near adequate protection.

We’d charged up the electronics and packed the laptop safely, and we had both phones ready for photos and videos. I’d also included flashlights, water, matches, and emergency blankets in case we got lost or stranded.

“Sort of,” I admitted. “She figured it out: where they’re coming and going, how they’re getting around, and specifically, where the meetup point is.”

“I wish you could wait.”

“I can’t. Something big is happening. If we don’t go now, we’ll lose our chance. And this is my fight now. I love Mila. I’m not letting her do this alone.”

I could admit now that I’d been in love with Mila since the night she walked into my house, battered and bleeding, and I’d made sure to tell her, both with words and actions. But I hadn’t said it out loud to anyone else. Doing so now felt liberating.

“I understand.”

“You do?” I expected logical Gus to fight me, to argue that it was too soon. That I didn’t know her.

“Of course I do. She’s your person. You’d fight dragons for her.”

I shook my head. This was a surreal conversation. “I would.”

“Then I understand. I think it’s insane and dangerous, and I’ll be fucking terrified until you check in to tell me you’re okay. But I get it.”

My dad had been a nonfactor in my life for years, even when I worked for him. Gus had always stepped in to fill the void. His acknowledgment cemented my determination. This was my fight.

“She changed me,” I admitted.

“The best ones always do.”

“I was content—”

“Contentment is bullshit,” he snapped. “It’s a cop-out. You deserve more, Jude. You deserve risk and adventure and a love so intense you can’t sleep at night.”

The baby cried out softly, and his voice got muffled as he soothed her.

“Love is an adventure,” he said a moment later, his words clear again. “Trusting your heart to someone else is one of the most dangerous things we will ever do in this life, but it’s by far the best one. So I get it.”

“Thank you.” He was right. Loving Mila felt a hell of a lot scarier than bad guys with guns. But together we could withstand any challenge.

“You do what you need to do. Stay out of the way and then call me. If you need me to send Finn, I will. Or I can drive out myself in one of the big trucks. Did you charge the satphone?”

“Yes.”

“Okay. Love you, brother. Don’t fucking die.”

“Don’t plan on it.” With a shake of my head, I ended the call. Then I turned back to the cabin and took a mental snapshot of this place. With any luck, Mila and I would return under better circumstances one day. With any luck, this would be a wild story we could tell our grandkids decades from now.

But first we had to survive the day.