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Chapter 36

Jude

I left Mila fast asleep in the cabin and went outside to take stock. This was an incredible spot. If only we weren’t hiding from murderous criminals, it would make for a cozy, romantic getaway.

I didn’t spend much time thinking about romance. Never had. But with Mila, I was beginning to crave it. Traveling with her, laughing and spending nights wrapped around one another. All of it.

But today was not the day for dreaming. Right now I had to stay focused and keep her safe.

I turned on my satphone and strolled to the end of the dock to ensure I got the best reception. Then I dialed Gus. Hopefully he would have good news.

“Jude. We’re working on it,” he said in lieu of a greeting.

“What’s happening?” It was chilly, and the sun was only barely above the horizon.

“Parker is digging in, making calls to state police and FBI contacts.”

I clenched my fist. Making calls was not going to cut it. It was the eleventh of October. If Mila was right, something big was going down in two days. We couldn’t risk it.

“The district attorney’s office has a team working on it too. They’re putting a case together to get some of the higher-ups.”

“Huxley?”

“Unsurprisingly, bringing down Huxley is going to take a lot of political juice, but warrants for some of the lower-level players should be issued later today, and they plan to move right away. Possibly tonight or tomorrow morning.”

Eyes closed, I pinched the bridge of my nose. This was progress, yes, but it wasn’t enough. I wanted every thug that had come to my house behind bars and every higher-up who’d ever even considered harming a hair on Mila’s head in jail.

“If they rush, this could all fall apart. You know that.”

I did. But Mila had served this up on a silver platter for them.

Once we’d ended the call, I picked up a big rock from the shore and threw it as far as I could, desperate to work through the frustration and fear building up inside me. I wanted to be better. Hell, I should be better.

At the sound of the splash, several birds flew out of one of the towering trees. Great, I was even pissing off the wildlife.

I trudged back to the cabin, focused on digging out the instant coffee packets I’d seen. They could be expired for all I cared. Cabin was a generous word for this tiny structure. But it was cozy and warm and new.

I thought of the Gagnons—the family my father had taught us to hate—and sighed. Yet another thing he’d been wrong about. They weren’t the enemy. They were good people who cared deeply about the forest and the town.

They were all settled down too. They’d celebrated marriages and children and all sorts of milestones. In addition to being blissfully happy, several of them were probably pretty exhausted. Hence the need for a hidden forest getaway.

Anger continued to bubble up inside me as I strode down the dock. After working so hard for so long, being out of the loop felt like torture. I trusted Parker and I trusted my family. But given what we were up against, I needed to be more involved.

As I stepped off the dock and around the shed, I saw her.

She was out by the woodpile, dressed in sweats and my flannel shirt, watching me.

I couldn’t help but smile. She was so damn beautiful.

And she was mine.

There was no use fighting it or pretending otherwise.

Mine.

That word, as incredible as it was, instantly sent me spiraling.

What if I couldn’t protect her? What if I couldn’t be the man she needed me to be?

She jogged over to me and launched herself into my arms, vanquishing my self-doubt. I held her tight and buried my nose in her hair.

“I woke up and got scared,” she said into my chest.

Pulling her closer, I closed my eyes and soaked in the feel of her body against mine.

“I can’t believe I said that,” she mumbled.

“Why?”

“Because I don’t say things like that. I never admit weakness.”

I angled back and tucked a short strand of dark hair behind her ear. “It’s not weak. It’s honest. And sometimes the bravest thing you can do is be honest.”

She opened her mouth and then closed it again, her eyes searching mine.

There was a lot to say here. More than I could probably articulate.

But the weariness that had weighed on me even moments ago was gone. “I’m scared too,” I said. “But you make me brave, Trouble. You inspire me.”

“I feel so guilty dragging you into my mess.”

I kissed the top of her head. “Most days I don’t feel much. I do the things I have to do and try to enjoy my life. But for so long, there wasn’t a single thing that could tear me out of bed in the morning. Nothing that felt like fire shooting through my veins.”

I took a breath. It was time to be brave.

My heart pounded in my ears as I willed myself to say the words. “But now I’ve got something. There’s one thing in my life these days that lights me up. You.”

She gasped, her muscles contracting in surprise.

“When I’m with you, I’m hit with emotions I never thought I was capable of, and I want things I didn’t even realize existed. You woke me up, Trouble. I’m here because I believe in you and I’m in love with you.”

She pulled back, eyes wide and lips parted in surprise.

“You love me?” she whispered.

Face breaking into what I could only imagine was a ridiculous smile, I nodded. “Yes. I know it’s fast and crazy and we’re out in the middle of the woods, but I have no interest in hiding it. You make me want to be honest and wild.”

“I like you wild.” She gave me a much more subdued smile as she pulled me down for a kiss.

I cupped her face, lingering in the moment. I needed the contact, the connection with her.

“I think I love you too,” she said as we finally pulled back.

“You think?”

She wrapped her arms around herself and shivered. “Yes. I think. I might be more certain if there was coffee.” She gave me a wink.

I picked her up and threw her over my shoulder, then jogged to the cabin.

“I’ll brew you the best wilderness coffee of your life, Trouble.”