Page 18

Chapter 17

Jude

“T his way.” Mila pointed up the road.

I eased off the gas and pulled onto the shoulder. We were slowly retracing her steps from the trailer park, searching for the exact spot where she’d fallen off the motorcycle. The sun was sinking lower in the sky. Soon, we’d lose the daylight.

We’d been at this since sunrise, and my head was pounding.

But I wouldn’t give up. I was in this now, and there was no going back.

We drove up Route 16, stopping periodically and combing each area. Taking breaks so she could focus on details of that day and so Ripley could stretch her legs.

My gut had twisted painfully at the sight of Mila’s destroyed trailer. Even if it hadn’t been trashed, I couldn’t imagine her living in the dilapidated single-wide for so long.

She hid behind a tough facade, but the fissures and cracks were there if one looked close enough. The pain, the uncertainty, and the fear.

She’d been living in fear for so long, and I wished I could fix it for her. Show her there were other ways to live. Free her from this burden and these threats.

“Can we walk this way a bit?” She pulled the hat down over her hair again. “See how the shoulder slopes and then drops off? This may be the spot.”

We jumped out, and I retrieved two flashlights from the set of tools I kept in my truck for emergencies.

“Be careful,” I cautioned as we walked along the shoulder.

The grassy area was steep, with several large tree roots protruding from the dirt. Running here would be dangerous.

We took our time, scanning the ground, using our flashlights to search every inch of dirt, grass, and rocks.

“Jude,” Mila said, her tone pitching high. “I think this was the spot. See that fallen tree?”

I nodded. At the bottom of the embankment was a large oak that served as a gate to the dense forest behind it.

“Pretty sure I jumped over that when I went into the woods.”

“Let me help you down.”

I held her good hand, and we shuffled down the steep drop toward the forest floor.

“Let’s scan in grid formation from here to the tree. Then we can shift and do the next section.”

She nodded, her gaze already sweeping the area in front of her.

The ground was damp and covered in fallen leaves, sticks, and debris, so it would be slow. But it was the best lead we’d had in hours.

I focused on my section of this area, shuffling my feet to kick up anything that may be covered, all the while saying every prayer I knew that we’d find the damn phone.

Just as I was starting to lose faith, Mila screamed.

Heart pounding, I took off running, picking my feet up to avoid tripping on tree roots. Ripley darted past me, as concerned that she was hurt, I was sure.

Mila kneeled on the cold ground, her back to me. As I rounded her, she was trembling, clutching what looked like a muddy phone in her hand.

“Is that…?”

Face tilted up, she nodded, her teary eyes glistening in the light of the rising moon.

I helped her to her feet, taking the phone from her hands. It was muddy and scuffed up and dead, of course, but there was hope.

“We found it,” she whispered, her voice shaking.

“You found it,” I said.

“But you.” She sniffled. “You got me here. You helped me remember. Fuck, I’m so relieved.”

Grasping her hand, I led her back up to the car, both nervous and excited. She had started to softly cry, and I wanted to scoop her up into my arms and make everything better. But we had work to do. We had to get this phone to work.

By the time we pulled up in front of the house, I was shaking with adrenaline. Could this be it? Was it possible that the phone would power on? The moment the truck was in park, Mila threw her door open and hopped out. Ripley followed, dashing for the house. I was hot on their heels.

Inside, I kicked off my muddy boots and shrugged out of my jacket. “I’ll find a charger,” I shouted, heading to the kitchen.

“And I’ll wipe off the mud,” she replied.

I wasn’t even sure the front door was closed, but in less than sixty seconds, the device was plugged in and resting on the kitchen island.

We stood shoulder to shoulder, both zeroed in on the dark screen. The scratches all looked superficial, though there was a chance it had been damaged by water.

Regardless, we had it, and we had to try.

Mila was still trembling beside me. “What if it’s really dead?” she whispered.

“Then we take out the SIM card,” I said. I had no clue what the fuck a SIM card did, but it sounded right, and she immediately perked up in response.

She bounced on her toes. “Yes. Good call. I hooked up with this NSA guy when I was overseas a couple of years ago. Now I remember. We can get the data out of it even if it’s damaged. Okay. Okay.” She sucked in shallow breaths, still vibrating with a mix of anticipation and fear.

My eyelid twitched at the mention of a former hookup. Especially after we’d spent the last twelve hours sharing stories and opening up to one another, all while skirting danger.

We were still staring at the blank screen, silent again, when the little green battery icon lit up.

“It’s alive!” Mila shouted.

I let out the breath I’d been holding, and euphoria surged through my veins. We’d done it.

She jumped up and down carefully, her good arm wrapped around the injured one, as happy tears rolled down her cheeks. With a hiccupping breath, she turned to me and threw her arm around my neck. “Thank you,” she mumbled into my T-shirt. “I wouldn’t have found it without you.”

I wrapped my arms around her and held her close. God, what I’d give to pick her up and spin her around. I was that fucking elated. But with her injuries, this was the best I could do.

Today had been a marathon. We’d really gotten to know one another. We’d been vulnerable in ways I didn’t think either of us had allowed ourselves to be in a long time. Though we’d spent hours in the cold, this moment made the aching feet and freezing fingers worth it.

With any luck, this would be all we needed to guarantee her safety. That knowledge felt as good as having her in my arms.

I slowly released her, worried I’d hurt her.

But she was still smiling, beaming up at me. With a happy squeal, she popped up onto her toes and slammed her lips to mine.

The feel of her soft lips sent me hurtling back to our night together. Her scent flooded my senses, urging my hands to roam all over her body.

This felt right.

So I kissed her back, meeting her firm pressure, showing her how good this felt.

I wrapped my arms around her, craving the feel of her skin as I deepened the kiss.

She let out a whimper and grasped a fistful of my shirt, pulling even closer, and I was fucking gone.

It was the sexiest sound I’d ever heard.

A fire ignited inside me, burning only for her. For this moment, this kiss. This was so much more than attraction. So much deeper than lust.

It was possibility.

The instant that word registered, logic kicked in. There was no possibility. Only danger and heartbreak.

I pulled back and steadied her, putting space between us.

This was wrong. She was hurt. She was reliant on me in so many ways. My job was to protect her.

I took off my glasses and cleaned them, averting my gaze. Even when I put them back on, I couldn’t look at her. It took every ounce of self-control I had not to carry her straight to my bed, and if I saw even a flicker of need in her expression, I was worried I’d give in.

“What. The. Fuck. Jude?” she hissed, stepping into my line of sight.

Fuck. It was impossible to avoid looking at her now. Her eyes were lit with a fire that burned with a combination of need and fury.

The anger there did nothing to extinguish the desire building inside me.

She stood in the dim light of the kitchen, her hip cocked, focus fixed completely on me.

I loved her confidence, her bluster. But beneath it, there was exhaustion. She couldn’t hide the dark circles under her eyes. This woman had been through hell. She needed a safe place to heal. I wouldn’t take that from her.

“We wouldn’t stop at just a kiss,” I said, hoping that explanation wouldn’t result in her kicking me in the balls. Thankfully, the kitchen knives were on the other side of the counter.

“And that’s a bad thing?” She bit her bottom lip, still glaring at me. The expression was the equivalent of waving a red flag at a bull. Fuck, I wanted her. But this wasn’t right.

“Yes.” Though it pained me, I forced the word out.

Her face fell, but the hurt quickly morphed into an angry scowl.

“We didn’t stop last time. And if memory serves, it was pretty great.”

Great didn’t even begin to cover it. It had been the best night of my damn life. But there was too much at stake now to go back. And although Mila brought out every one of my animalistic caveman urges, my honor won out.

“I won’t take advantage of you,” I said through gritted teeth.

She huffed, sending the little hairs at her temples flying, and stalked toward me. “I’m no damsel in distress.”

I clutched the countertop behind me to keep from reaching for her.

“Fuck, I’m an idiot,” she said.

My gut sank. “No, I’m the idiot, Trouble. It’s not you. Trust me, it’s not you. My job is to protect you. Keep you safe. I can’t cross the line.”

When her eyes narrowed to slits, I wished I could take the words back. “Your job ?” She huffed. “I can protect myself. And it’s not taking advantage if I’m ready and willing.”

I couldn’t move or speak. My self-control hung by a thread. All I wanted was to protect her, but by shutting her down, I was hurting her instead.

I didn’t operate at this speed. I needed time to process and understand. In every aspect of life, with every decision, I took my time, did things right the first time. I did not shoot from the hip and I never took big risks.

Lust, longing, and whatever the strange ache in my chest was? Those things didn’t matter.

Eyes squeezed closed, I sucked in a harsh breath, then another. Anger flooded my veins. Anger at my dad and the assholes who’d hurt her brother. Along with every motherfucker who’d ever threatened the happiness of either of our families.

Because in another world, another life, I would have picked her up and carried her straight to my bed.

In another world, we could be something. I’d felt it that first night together.

But it could never be. I had to make my peace with that.

I’d long ago accepted the fact that I’d be alone forever. And it was so fucking unfair, the way the universe had delivered the one woman I’d ever imagined a future with right to my doorstep while the world around us was burning. While everyone we knew was in danger.

With one more glare, she unplugged the phone. “It’s a shame,” she said, somehow eye fucking me while shooting daggers. “I still dream about your cock. Biggest I’ve ever had. Guess I’ll charge this in the living room and go to bed. Please leave me alone.”

With that, she sauntered away.

Zeroed in on her round hips, I clutched the countertop more firmly.

Fuck me.

I needed a shower. Immediately.