Page 49 of Awestruck (Starstruck Love Stories #4)

I look up when Derek’s voice grows stronger. He looks pissed as he starts typing on his phone, and if ever I thought he was just a spoiled celebrity, I’m not thinking that now. He looks like a guy who can get things done, and that calms my panic enough for me to let my thoughts settle a bit.

The brother thing might not be true. It might be a tabloid making a desperate attempt for attention, and that’s fine because we’re still cousins no matter what happens. And if it is true? Then that means I have an older brother. One who protects people.

Like I do.

This doesn’t have to all be on him.

Taking a deep breath, I sit up straight. “What can I do?”

Derek doesn’t look up from his phone. “I’ve got it.”

“Derek.”

He pauses at my sharp tone, eyes rising to meet mine.

“What can I do?” I ask again. “This doesn’t affect just you, and we’re in this together.”

He seems confused. Like no one has ever stepped up when he’s facing a problem. That’s not true—he has multiple people in his employ—but has anyone who isn’t on his payroll ever helped him? Maybe he hasn’t let them help. Besides, I meant it. If what Hot Scoop said is real, this isn’t just about him.

I might have a brother.

“Let me help,” I say when he still doesn’t respond.

Sighing, he glances at his phone before shaking his head. “Thanks, but this will be easier on my own. I need you to look after Freya. Keep her away from the internet until we figure this stuff out.”

At least he said we, but I don’t like that he’s shutting me out. “You might be able to push your friends away, but you can’t do that with me. If any of this is true, then you know I can be every bit as stubborn as you.”

Derek might be my brother. I’m still struggling to process that, and I’m pretty sure he is too. But he’s had his suspicions for almost a year, so why am I the one keeping a cool head now? If anyone deserves to freak out, it’s me.

On the wild chance that Hot Scoop isn’t completely blowing smoke, I have a mom. One I can actually find because she’s a half-brother away from me.

She also abandoned me, so there’s that too.

I haven’t wanted to find her before; would I really want to find her now? Derek hasn’t talked about his mom before today, and I’m getting the sense he’s not exactly close with the woman. I wonder if he’s even spoken to her since he and his dad went off on their own.

Right before I was born.

As my mind starts spiraling into existential crisis mode—so much for a cool head—my phone buzzes in my pocket, and I pull it out to check if it’s Gregor or one of the twins.

Only, it’s Freya’s phone that buzzed, and now I’m staring at a text from Markham Grimstad, who wants to go on a walk with the princess.

Swearing, I resist the urge to chuck the phone off the tower and instead stuff it back into my pocket.

Derek, who returned his attention to his phone while I got lost in thought, frowns at me. “Something wrong?”

“Everything’s wrong,” I grumble back. “I got shot three days ago, you might be the brother I’ve always wanted, and the woman I love is being pursued by a guy who’s perfect for her.”

For the first time since he showed up on the roof, Derek smiles. “Should I be insulted that you lumped me in with those other two things?”

Groaning, I run a hand down my face. “That’s the thing you focus on? The wrong part is not knowing if it’s true.”

“Hmm.” He glances at his phone again, but whatever he was doing doesn’t seem as important now as he locks his phone and gives me his full attention.

“You’re really in love with her?” He asks that question carefully, but I’m not sensing any of the malice that I expected after the way Freya’s other friends treated me.

Neither does he sound happy, but I’ll take what I can get.

I shrug. “Sure feels like it, but this is a first for me. You’ve been in love before; what does it feel like?”

He chuckles and stretches out his legs, relaxing as well as he can on a stone bench. “What makes you think I’ve been in love?”

Is he serious? I gesture a hand over him, hoping that’s answer enough. “You’re Derek Riley. Three quarters of the world’s population is in love with you, so I figured you’d returned the favor once or twice.”

He lifts an eyebrow. “Three quarters?”

“I mean, there have to be at least some people out there who don’t find you attractive.”

“You realize that if we really are brothers, Hot Scoop was insinuating you’re as attractive as me, right? Almost,” he adds with a smirk.

What in the world is this conversation coming to? I can’t help but laugh as the ridiculousness of what we’re saying to each other sinks in. “I’m pretty sure that ego of yours comes from your dad’s side of the family, Riley.”

He kicks his foot into mine. “That’s your side too, Reid.”

Oh. Right. That’s true regardless of whether the Hot Scoop claim is accurate.

This is crazy.

“Okay,” I say with a tired sigh and slump against the wall. Gregor was right when he said I should rest. “I’ll let you handle this tabloid crap this one time because right now I’m barely handling my one job.”

“You’re doing fine, El.”

“Someone tried to shoot her.”

“They missed.”

“Because Grimstad got in the way.”

Derek nudges his elbow into my ribs, and I’m so glad my wound is on my other side, or he would have nearly hit it dead on. “So did you. You took a bullet for one of my best friends, Elliot, which in my eyes means you’re the right person for the job. Though, maybe don’t make a habit of it?”

I chuckle. “I’ve been shot at enough times that I can say I’m used to it, but that doesn’t mean I like it. I’m hoping no one else is stupid enough to try to hurt the best thing to ever happen to Candora.”

Pressing his lips together, he stands and leans on the wall overlooking the lake. “Do you think she’ll win the election?”

“I don’t know,” I answer honestly, joining him in taking in the view. “I think she had a solid chance, but what happened at the debate could push people in either direction. Freya survived an assassination attempt, but her opponent is the one who saved her.”

He’s also waiting for her to make a decision about his proposal, and I don’t know her mind enough to make a bet on what she’ll choose. The odds aren’t in my favor, in any sense.

“What’s your opinion on this Grimstad guy?” Derek asks. “You really think he’s perfect for Freya?”

I can feel his eyes on me, but I keep my gaze on the view, taking in the clouds reflecting on the smooth water of the lake and the green of the rolling hills beyond.

Stonemere is a good-sized city, nestled at the bottom of a hill behind us, but it isn’t Invem or Windgaard.

It’s quieter in this part of the country, tucked away on the west coast without any other towns nearby.

I wouldn’t mind living in a place like this.

“I tried so hard to hate Grimstad,” I mutter, ducking my head. “It drives me nuts that he’s decent. More than decent. He’s a solid choice, politically and otherwise.”

“But he isn’t you.”

“Doesn’t matter. If she becomes queen, I’m not an option anyway.”

Derek hums but says nothing, leaving me to my thoughts.

I can stomach the idea of being around Freya without being able to love her the way I want to, as long as she’s safe and happy. But if she chooses Grimstad, how can I stay? Stand behind her while he stands at her side, his hand in hers. His lips on her lips. Him giving her an heir…

I might throw up.

“Elliot.”

“Hmm?”

“You look like you’re spiraling.”

“Pretty much.”

“Talk to me.”

Sighing, I run a hand through my hair but pause when I remember Derek did the same thing a minute ago.

Brothers. Is it any wonder why I’m falling apart?

This is too much. “I don’t know what to do, and I hate that.

I’m supposed to be the one with the plan.

And the backup to the backup plan. But this?

I don’t… If she were anyone else, I would tell her to marry the guy.

Secure her throne however she has to because she’s the best person for the job but the people might not know that. ”

“But she’s Freya,” Derek says.

I nod. “The thought of her marrying him is killing me.” That’s putting it lightly. “I can’t give her an alternative, so I can’t ask her to say no. But I want her to.”

“What will you do if she accepts him?”

My phone feels heavy in my pocket, almost as heavy as Freya’s phone on the other side with its looming message from Grimstad.

I got another batch of texts from my old team this morning.

Half of them congratulated me on helping prevent an assassination.

The other half told me it meant it was time for me to come home.

If I don’t take the chance now, the Army will fill the open spot with someone else, and I don’t think I can learn to vibe with another ODA if I go back later.

It’s now or never.

“I’m not meant for a quiet life,” I mutter, mostly to myself. “And I can’t watch her fall in love with someone else.”

My future depends on Freya and the decision she makes tonight. I’ll be in agony either way, but at least one path will mean I get to see her.

“Hey.” Derek nudges his shoulder into mine. “Whatever happens, I’m here for you. So are my friends, if you need them.”

I raise an eyebrow at him. “Your friends, the celebrities?”

The joke doesn’t get quite the same reaction from Derek as it does from Freya. He rolls his eyes rather than laughing. “I’m a celebrity too, you know.”

Faking a gasp, I run my eyes over the casual clothes he’s wearing as if trying to see something that isn’t there. “You? Really? I find that hard to believe.”

With another eye roll, he pulls his phone from his pocket and starts for the stairs. “Tell that to the three quarters of the world who are in love with me. I should go make some phone calls before the ball and get to the bottom of this Hot Scoop mess. Keep your phone on you in case I need you.”

“Hey.” I stop him before he gets to the door to the spiral staircase, but suddenly I’m nervous to say what’s on my tongue. “Uh. My life is kind of imploding right now, but I’m glad I have you in my family. In whatever way.”

He smiles, some of the underlying stress melting from his features. There’s still plenty of it left. “Me too.”

I’m jumping to conclusions, but I can’t tell if he’s saying he’s equally glad we’re family or if he’s telling me his life is also imploding.

I’ll have to ask him later. Right now, I need to work up the motivation to tell Freya that Grimstad wants to talk to her, even though I’d rather keep them away from each other as long as I can.

More than anything, I want to be nearby when she talks to him. Just in case.

Someone has to look after her heart if things go wrong, and it might as well be me until I have to leave.

It’s my job, after all.