Page 38 of Awestruck (Starstruck Love Stories #4)

I suppose that is a logical conclusion, if Hank and Elliot thought the same thing.

“No, I think he is determined to bring balance to the Candoran people, and adding someone of his background and perspective to the monarchy could do that in a way no one has before. No ruler has married outside nobility since the beginning of Candora.”

“Ah, got to love tradition.”

Gripping my phone tighter, I nod and glance behind me to make sure Hex is still giving me privacy. His eyes are on me, but his expression is no more frustrated than it was before. I turn back to my phone. “Markham proposed because a union between us would eliminate the need for people to choose.”

“What if they want to choose?” Hank asks.

That is a good point. “If we take that away, will they feel as though their chance for a voice is gone?” I wonder out loud.

He shrugs. “Maybe. You know your people better than I do.”

“And Markham knows them even better than that. What if this is the best thing for Candora?”

“Do you want to marry the guy?”

It is my turn to shrug, and I wish I had more answers. But this is why I sought the help of my friends. “I want my country to thrive.”

“That doesn’t really answer the question, Freya.”

“I know.” I think of Elliot’s response to my arguments when Markham first proposed.

Giving into fear and throwing away everything you stand for isn’t a selfless act.

It feels selfless, sacrificing my chances for happiness for the sake of my people.

But could Elliot be right? Would it simply be giving in to fear?

“What if you do one of those hypothetical situations that you do with Bonnie all the time?” Hank asks.

Since Bonnie fell for Hank, I have not had to walk her through possible future outcomes, but the reminder of our conversations makes me smile. We used to go through the worsts and bests of so many different things in her life. “That is a good idea.”

“Say you agree to the marriage. What will that look like in terms of your positions?”

That one is easy. “Assuming a marriage means he would remove his name from the ballot, I would be the reigning queen and true monarch. Markham would be king at my side but have significantly less influence, particularly because he does not already have a title. I would have full power over international matters, and his duties would be tied to domestic affairs. Though, I would have veto power over any of his decisions.”

Hank nods. “Sounds reasonable. Would you butt heads all the time on things?”

That one is not as easy to answer. “I do not think so. We may not always agree, but I think he and I could benefit from differing opinions in a lot of instances. I have already learned and grown so much since learning about his campaign.”

“Makes sense, but there’s always that chance that you’ll argue more than you’ll agree. You’ve told us about how different his platform is from yours.”

“That is true.” But I choose to believe Markham has an open mind, as I do.

Hank’s smile turns sympathetic. “Here’s the hard one.”

I brace myself, wondering what he might say. What does Hank think is difficult?

Pursing his lips, he seems to take a moment to prepare me for his coming question. What he asks is not what I expect. “Would you start a family with him?”

The question hits me in the stomach, leaving me breathless and nauseous. “Oh.”

Hank tilts his head to one side. “That’s quite a reaction to that one.”

“We would be married.” I say that out loud more for my own benefit than for Hank’s.

In all my thoughts over the last few days, I never thought to consider anything beyond the legal ties.

“And as the king and queen, we would be expected to continue the royal line or risk the monarchy falling to collapse.” That is already one of the issues with my candidacy.

I have no prospects and therefore have little chance of procuring an heir anytime soon.

The very nature of our government is uncertain because I have spent too much of my young life focused on my career rather than my personal life.

Hank waits patiently for me to keep talking, his smile growing.

I press a hand to my stomach and close my eyes. “I do want children,” I mutter as I truly think about what a marriage with Markham would entail beyond politics and publicity. My nausea builds until I feel dizzy. “I am not certain I would want children with him.”

“With who?” That is not Hank.

I jump and open my eyes, realizing someone else has joined the call. Liam. “No one,” I say quickly.

Liam narrows his eyes and pushes wet hair from his forehead. He is in his pool and likely just finished a swim, and he could not have picked a worse moment to jump into the conversation. “Peach, are you pregnant?”

“Who’s pregnant?” a female voice asks right as Carissa appears on the screen, her blonde curls taking up most of the window as she situates herself on Cole’s lap.

Mortification burns hot in my face as I desperately search for a way to steer the conversation away from—

“Freya is trying to decide if she’s going to have some guy’s baby,” Liam says with all the confidence of a man who knows exactly what is going on, when his summary could not be farther from the truth.

“What?” Cole growls, tugging Carissa’s phone closer to his face. “Freya, what’s going on?”

I take a deep breath. “I—”

“Wait,” Carissa says with a gasp, “did you and Elliot—”

“No!” I shriek as my embarrassment floods my entire body, leaving me feeling like I may combust. “No, we have not—”

“Freya!” The voice that shouts my name is so recognizable that relief washes over me as I turn to see Elliot running toward me from the outer gate. He comes to my side, a hand on my waist as he searches my face as if looking for whatever troubles me. “Are you okay?”

“Is that Elliot?” Carissa asks excitedly.

Elliot’s eyes jump to the phone in my hand, and he frowns. “Oh.”

“Was it him who knocked you up, Freya?” Liam asks, bringing his face close to the screen as if to get a better look at my bodyguard.

Cole swears. “What did you do to her, Reid?”

This is a nightmare. “Nothing!” I practically squeak. If I did not know that my friends would not let this conversation go, I would power my phone down right now and pray for a way to turn back time.

“Freya!” Cole says, almost pleading. “What the he—”

“Language,” I say breathlessly.

Cole ignores me. “Reid, I don’t care that you know Derek. If you even touched the princess, then I swear I’ll—”

“Enough!” I shout, all too aware of everything around me.

The guards stationed on the grounds are staring in my direction, Sander is now standing next to Hex, both of them looking murderous, and Elliot cannot seem to take his eyes off me despite the half-formed threats Cole threw at him.

My poor bodyguard chose a terrible time to join me, but his warm hand on my side is the only thing keeping me upright at the moment.

I wonder if Elliot wants kids. Or even a relationship.

He is so focused on his job that it seems silly to wonder.

But after the way he interacted with Elsa and the other kids in Havenford, I can imagine him being an incredible father.

He would look so masculine with a tiny baby held in his capable arms, and that child would want for nothing.

Taking a steadying breath, I fix my eyes on my phone and force those fantasies away. They can never come true. Not with me. “You are all making this harder,” I say to the phone. “Except you, Hank. For the most part, you were helpful.”

He smiles and pushes his glasses up his nose. “Keep going through those hypotheticals, and I think you’ll get your answer.”

Cole makes a growling sound deep in his throat. “Hypotheticals about having kids?”

“What?” Elliot says in alarm.

“Marriage,” Hank corrects before I can find a believable lie.

Who am I kidding? My friends know me too well and would catch even the most well-thought out fib.

Cole scowls. “Marriage to whom?”

My eyes drift to Elliot on the screen, taking in the way his full attention is on me and not my phone.

Even without making eye contact with him, I can feel his intense gaze warming me from the inside out.

“I have always known my marriage, should it happen, would be political,” I say, knowing it is not an answer to Cole’s question.

I have to fight to keep the disappointment out of my voice.

Markham is a good man, yes, but I cannot picture him as a father, no matter how hard I try.

I can barely imagine feeling any real affection toward him.

I know what is best for Candora, but at what cost?

“Freya,” Elliot murmurs, leaning closer as if he senses the turmoil inside me. “What do you need?”

I need him not to ask questions like that when the answer is a moment in his arms. To let myself be held by him and pretend, like I did in Havenford, that I could live a different life, one in which the thing I want most no longer stands in the way of who I want most.

In a different life, I think I could be happy with Elliot.

“I really hope you’re going to tell us what’s going on,” Liam says, resting his arms on the edge of his pool and dropping his chin onto them. “Just to be clear, you’re not pregnant?”

I let out a weak chuckle. “Nowhere close.”

“And you’re not getting married?” Cole asks.

That one is harder to answer, but I try. “I have not agreed to a marriage, no.” Elliot’s hand tightens against my side, sending a shiver through me. “Does anyone else have any ridiculous questions?”

“Are any of the Hot Scoop stories true?” Carissa asks.

I look at Elliot. Elliot looks at me. Annoying as Hollywood Hot Scoop can be, the tabloid has not caused me as much trouble as the opinion piece in yesterday’s paper did.

Not only is my mother convinced I am making a mistake when it comes to my bodyguard, but the opinion piece put into words something both Elliot and I have successfully avoided addressing before today.

But the last Hot Scoop article I saw also mentioned trouble brewing with Derek, and that is something I can address without hurting Elliot.

I wish Derek were here, but he has been filming the last few days and struggles to get on a group call on the best of days. I could really use his advice lately.

Standing straighter, I smile at my friends. “When it comes to my relationship with all of you—Derek, Bonnie, and Kasey included—I have no intention of severing our friendship. That gruesome tabloid can say what they want about us, but they will never get between us.”

“It seems like that’s their goal,” Elliot mutters. He spoke so quietly that he may have been talking to himself, but as he is standing right next to me…

I look at him, raising my eyebrows. “Do you think?”

“We should get you back to the hotel,” he replies, lowering his own eyebrows to contrast. “Hot Scoop is unimportant, and you’ll want to be rested for the debate tomorrow.”

“Oo, good luck with the debate!” Carissa says. “You’re going to be awesome!”

I smile at her, wishing I had her confidence. “Thank you.”

“And you’re right,” Cole adds, calmer than he was before.

“No matter what, we’re all sticking together.

” His eyebrows dip low, and his eyes flick from one part of the screen to the other, as if he might be looking from me to Elliot.

“You know we have your back—princess, queen, or no royalty at all. Right?”

His words, echoed by the others, are a balm to my anxious heart, and I blink away tears that prick my eyes. “Of course. Thank you.”

“I’ve got my eye on you, Reid,” he adds.

Rolling my eyes, I say my goodbyes and take a moment to breathe.

The election is not for another five days, but tomorrow is going to be more decisive than I want it to be.

The televised debate will reach the entire country, and this is one of my last chances to prove to my people that I can lead them into a bright future.

No pressure at all.

I have prepared as much as I could—thanks to long conversations with my brothers while traveling between towns over the last few days—and I simply have to show up and do my best. Until then, I need to ensure my thoughts do not get trapped on Markham’s proposal or Elliot’s disappearance today or the idea that I am less certain about the life I want than I ever have been.