Page 48 of Awestruck (Starstruck Love Stories #4)

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Elliot

Two more days. I have two days before Freya is voted queen and everything changes.

She’d probably be the first to tell me that she will still be the same person, no matter which crown she wears, but deep in my gut I know things will change.

A princess has to be cognizant of her country’s well-being, but a queen can think of nothing else.

She’ll be even more of a target than she is now, which means my job will be harder, which means I’ll be spending more energy keeping her safe and won’t have as many chances to be alone with her.

No dances in Havenford. No late nights in mountain cabins.

I want to keep Freya safe. More than anything. But to do that I have to give up our potential. A princess dating her protection agent is bad enough. A queen marrying her bodyguard is…

Impossible. At this point, I should know that. But with all this time being around her without really being with her, I’ve had plenty of time to wonder about what my future with her could look like if things were different.

But I’ve also had to come to some conclusions about what I’m willing to do—or not do—if it means I can make sure she’s safe and happy for the rest of her life.

Maybe I—

“Elliot.”

My gun’s in my hand and pointed at Derek’s chest a full two seconds before I register that it’s him standing several paces behind me and holding his hands in the air.

Cursing, I lower the weapon but keep a hold on it.

Just in case. In case of what, I don’t know, but I think I have a right to be on edge after everything.

“Derek,” I breathe, willing my heart to calm. “What are you doing here?”

He looks…off. Tired. In the few times I’ve interacted with this guy, he’s always been polished and put together, to the point where it gets annoying to know someone can be as perfect as he seems to be. But right now he looks worn down and anxious, and that is not making me want to put away my gun.

He clears his throat and looks around. It’s a good view from up here, at the top of a turret overlooking the large lake that spans the area behind the house.

The skies are clear and the sun is shining strong, promising perfect weather later.

Staff members dart about the grounds and in and out of the house, prepping everything for tonight’s ball.

I’ve been leaning against the wall and watching everything from my vantage point for the last hour. Gregor ordered me to rest, but he didn’t say where I had to be. I can sit up here as easily as I could have sat in my room, and this way I have an idea of what’s going on around the estate.

“I wanted to check on Freya after what happened,” Derek says finally, taking a hesitant step toward me. “And check on you.”

It’s been a while since we last talked. Havenford? A lot has happened in that time, and I can only imagine what he’s heard through the grapevine. Did he hear something he shouldn’t have and fly all the way to Candora two days early to tell me to back off like his other friends did?

Good news for him, I suppose—I never stood a chance anyway. Freya isn’t even queen yet and I’ve barely spoken a word to her. I can’t imagine that scenario will get any better when she takes the throne, so I should prepare to always be with her but never with her.

The problem is… I’m not sure I can actually do that if things go in a certain direction; Grimstad still has an actual chance with her.

He arrived at the house before us, and I’ve only seen him once, arm in a sling and missing his usual calm swagger as he joined the royal family for dinner on our first night here.

The queen profusely thanked him for protecting her daughter, and he sat in silence.

I expected him to throw out false humility and tell her that anyone would have done what he did, but he kept his mouth shut and his head down.

I think the shooting spooked him.

While Freya hasn’t spent much time around Grimstad, too busy talking to reporters and placating members of the House of Lords who are panicking about the assassination attempt and worried they’ll be next, she hasn’t given any indication that she plans to turn his proposal down.

I’ve barely been able to sleep because of it, which is probably why Gregor ordered me to take it easy today.

It’s a good thing he didn’t see how bad I got before Havenford, or he might have taken me off my post.

That would have been better for everyone involved.

“Freya’s fine,” I say, finally responding to Derek’s comment.

“I know. I just saw her.” He’s showing next to no emotion, which only emphasizes the weary set of his shoulders. “I’m pretty sure she can get through anything without batting an eye.”

He’s not wrong, but I’ve seen Freya’s confidence waver more than once. She puts on a brave face. Acts the part of a princess. But she’s still human.

“I’m fine too,” I add and narrow my eyes when Derek’s features twitch, his mask slipping the slightest bit. “Why are you really here, Derek?”

He folds his arms, then changes his mind and tucks his hands into the pocket of his sweatshirt.

It’s weird to see him dressed so casually, but it’s not like I know my cousin all that well.

Maybe he dresses like this all the time and I’m just used to seeing him in pictures or video clips. Regardless, he’s nervous.

That makes me nervous.

I didn’t think Derek Riley got nervous, and I’ve kind of hated him for it until right this moment. Turns out I preferred him when he seemed to have an answer to everything.

“Did you read the latest Hollywood Hot Scoop article?” he asks eventually.

I huff out a laugh. “Nope. And I don’t plan to.”

“You probably should.”

“Why?”

Instead of answering, he holds out his phone. No, it’s Freya’s phone, and while I want to ask why he has it, I’m more interested in the headline glaring up at me from the bright screen.

“I don’t really need to read about the shooting, Derek.

I was there.” But I skim the article anyway, glossing over the fairly factual story until my eyes catch on my name.

“How do they know I was injured?” I mutter, rubbing my jaw as I keep reading.

I was very clear about not letting that be part of any press releases, and I thought I was hiding it well. But I—

My heart comes to a stuttering halt in my chest when I land on the words ‘older brother.’ But then my brain catches up, and I let out a laugh that feels as forced as Derek’s current indifference. “They’re really reaching now, aren’t they?” I say. When Derek says nothing, I look up.

My stomach twists.

He looks like he just got punched in the stomach.

I may not have known him for long, but he’s good at what he does and can usually hide his real feelings. I also know he’s incredibly well-informed. He wouldn’t react so strongly unless…

Swallowing, I scan the article again, and I’m starting to realize why he looks so beaten down. Beaten down is the wrong phrase, but he sure looks like someone delivered a heavy blow with this tease.

“Derek,” I say slowly. Not really sure if I can say anything else.

But I have to. “Are they talking about you?” Because that’s the only reason I can figure he would be here, standing at the top of a tower and staring at me the same way he did when we first met.

Like he can’t believe I exist. “But we’re cousins.

” I tuck Freya’s phone into my pocket and shake my head.

“That would be enough of a twist to reveal, so why would they…”

“Hot Scoop always operates with a grain of truth,” Derek says, his voice rough and almost too quiet to hear.

“The people behind the site are vile and manipulative, but they’re not stupid enough to make wild claims without something to back them up.

Especially when it comes to me. They wouldn’t say something like this if it wasn’t… ”

I clench my jaw as my thoughts race through my head, leaving me dizzy. “There’s no way.”

He doesn’t look as convinced as I want to be.

I shake my head as my heart starts pounding in my chest. “No. No, because if we’re brothers, then either my dad isn’t my dad, or your mom…” I stop when he meets my gaze with a nauseous expression. “Your mom,” I repeat as he grits his teeth. “She would have had to…”

Derek sinks onto a stone bench and stuffs his hands into his hair. “Sleep with her brother-in-law when I was six? Yeah.” He says it like he knows it for sure happened.

I’m going to be sick. “But Dad would never…”

“Mom would. I wouldn’t be surprised if she manipulated him into doing it. She’s good at that.”

Mom. If this is true, that would mean his mom is my…

I collapse onto the bench next to him as my mind starts spinning.

Dad never talked about my mom. Never. The only thing he told me was that she left and never looked back and that we were better off without her.

She wasn’t even listed on my birth certificate, like she knew from the start she wasn’t going to be in my life.

“Did you know?” I whisper. Is that why Derek came to my dad’s funeral? Because we’re half-brothers?

But he swallows and slowly shakes his head. “No. I knew she…” He swallows again. “I knew she cheated, but my dad took me and left her only a couple of months later, after I…after he found out. We wouldn’t have known if she was…”

“Pregnant,” I finish, clasping my hands around the back of my neck. I don’t like this. I don’t like this at all, and I feel like I’m going to pass out. “If this is true, it’s no wonder your dad hates mine. If he really…”

“Yeah.” He sounds breathy, like he’s as lightheaded as I am. “I suspected, when we met. The timing of things… But I had no way to know for sure.”

I swear under my breath. He’s been sitting on this for almost a year? I don’t blame him for keeping it to himself, but this is kind of a big deal. “What do we do?”

“Find out if it’s true, first of all. Then we figure out how Hot Scoop learned about it.”