Page 5 of Aug

FOUR

Pretty, pretty girl.

Pretty attitude.

Pretty fucking upset.

My eyes were trained on Tiana as she tossed her head back, chuckling from whatever Balle had whispered in her ear. When her orbs lowered, finding me gazing in her direction, her smile faded and her mouth closed.

Pretty fucking mad.

Pretty fucking pissed.

But, pretty. Still very fucking pretty.

The eye roll that followed was nasty. Dramatic. Necessary. It broke a small piece of my heart. The soft, full ache assured me she had done the impossible. She’d slithered her way through the cracks in the ice surrounding my heart.

My nostrils flared with content. My lips curled upward with pure, unfiltered admiration. Tiana had become my obsession, whether she knew it or not. I wasn’t sure how healthy it was, but I couldn’t control it or my actions because of it.

Leaving her home alone wasn’t my intention. Neither was feeling that fucking hot box between her legs. That shit was lethal.

I gnawed at the skin of my bottom lip at the thought of the way her pussy sang to me when I was in it.

The way she called my name…

The sounds she managed…

How easily her body moved…

How open she was to my intrusion…

How wet she was…

How warm she was…

I cleared my throat and turned toward Koen.

“I’m going to step out for a second.”

He looked at Tiana before turning to face me. With a shake of his head, he asked, “You pissed her off, huh?”

“Mind your fucking business and keep your eyes off her before them motherfuckers end up in your mother’s beef stew.”

Without another word, I exited Balle’s suite. Rehearsal was over and neither of the girls was in a rush to exit. Both were still coming down from the rush their battered toes gave them. While I’d never understand their commitment to the art of ballet, I admired it. The shit was difficult.

Outside of the suite, I tried ridding my brain of the distraction. But the second my attempts began, they failed miserably. The distraction exited the suite with her nose and chest in the air.

Her hair was in a sleek ponytail, twirled around in a donut shape. The brown one-piece she wore hugged her body.

Just as I had.

Just as I wanted to.

Just as I needed to.

Just as I longed to .

Mesmerized by her existence in totality, I watched as she walked toward me. Her legs never stopped when she reached me. Her eyes never changed their focal point.

You’re on duty. I reminded myself and placed my hands behind my back. I laced them together, hoping to refrain from touching her.

Wrapping my hands around her.

Snatching her ass up.

Pulling her ass toward me.

And then toward her suite, where I would get rid of that attitude once and for all. Because, frankly, I couldn’t stand it. Simultaneously, I loved it.

You’re fucked up . I noted, shaking my thoughts loose.

Ti. Look at me.

It had been two days since I’d been inside of her. I hated the fact that so much time had passed, but I had shit to handle. I’d never been the type to make empty threats, especially to someone who’d hurt someone in my immediate circle.

In addition, Koen had skipped out on work for almost twenty-four hours. One of his children had oral surgery. He wanted to be there before they went under, when they woke up, and until they felt better.

I needed my head in the game to make sure Balle was secured. I couldn’t have her getting hurt on my watch. That had happened before, and I was still recovering from that shit. I doubted I would ever stop blaming myself, but I was a work in progress. All the way around .

Her footsteps were calculated. She carefully placed her feet on the ground. Tiana was as poised as they came. Never sloppy. Never loosened. Always well put together. Always sure of her very next move. Next step.

Except that night .

Thoughts of her legs wrapped around me pushed me forward. My hands were no longer behind my back. They were on her. And, my body was no longer pressed against the wall. It was hers.

“Fix your face, Ti.”

“Let go of me, August,” she demanded.

I didn’t loosen my grip. I couldn’t. One hand was around her neck. The other held her small wrists together. My hands were massive in comparison to hers.

Silence caused an ache in my chest. I wanted her to say something. Say the things she was thinking. Say the things she was feeling. Because for the life of me, I couldn’t. The words just wouldn’t surface.

“Say something,” I begged, peering down at her beautiful face.

Fearlessly, she peered up at me. Both pain and disgust scribbled across her irises.

That shit hit me like a sack of bricks. I imagined this would happen. I fully understood my ability to damage a perfect woman. But that’s not what I wanted for Tiana. And me. And us.

I wanted something different. Yet, here we were. I’d only been in her private spaces once and her eyes were already welling with tears. A single blink allowed them to fall, crushing me with forceful impact.

Let her be, nigga . I reasoned.

It’s too late . I countered, knowing I was invested.

Dick. Dome. Heart. Soul. Body. I wanted Tiana to have all of me. Even the ugliest parts so that maybe her influence could pretty them up. I didn’t need her to fix me. I happened to be a grown ass man. But, I wanted her around so that her flame could ignite mine.

“Ti–”

“Tiana.”

Bruising me with her response, Tiana stood firmly on her feet.

I loosened my grip on her hands and wiped the streak her tears had left behind.

“Talk to me, Ti.”

Flared nostrils led her revolution. She straightened her spine and squared her shoulders as I waited for the lashing I knew I deserved.

“I wanted you to be different, and I think that maybe that’s what’s so disappointing. You had no right to come into my home, fuck me as if the world was ending, and we wouldn’t see sunrise again. Meet every ridge of my asshole with your tongue.

“Suck my insides dry and then replenish them with your saliva. Bathe me. Fuck me again. And then rock me to sleep like a baby. Kiss me so gently. Stroke me so tenderly. Then, disappear without a trace. No visit. No call. No note. No rocks at my window. Nothing—” she breathed out in what seemed like one breath.

“I didn’t disappear,” I explained. “You know where I am. You know where to find me, Ti.”

“I’m not looking to find a man, August. I’ve never been in that business.

Because if I have to find him, that means he’s not pursuing me.

That’s how this thing goes, and that’s how this will always go.

I will not haunt you down. I will not call around asking for you.

I will not pop up. I will not hope to see you in the spaces I visit.

I won’t. And, I shouldn’t have to. That’s not a woman’s cup of tea.

If you can’t understand that then you will never understand me.

Now, if you’d let me go, I’d like to go get my things. ”

“I do,” I sighed, hating that I had responded the way I had.

Having access to me and showing her exactly where I wanted to be by being there was much different from one another.

“Excuse me?”

“I do– I understand, Ti.”

I didn’t recognize myself. I shrunk. Happily, because I wanted her to feel as big as she was to me. To my world.

“Good,” she said, softening.

But, still, her guard was up.

“Put it down,” I demanded.

“August, I don’t know what you’re–”

“Your guard. Put it down, Tiana. You don’t need it with me.”

She scoffed, taking her eyes off me for a brief second.

“I let it down, and you let me down. If you want differently, then show me differently.”

I paused, taking her words in.

“It’s not like that. I had shit to hand–”

“Like my ex? Hm?”

“What you talking about, Ti?” I forged confusion.

She didn’t buy it. Not even a little.

“A bullet through his right palm and ten broken fingers.”

“How do you know this?”

“Because he called and told me,” she confessed.

“Oh, did he?”

Her face contorted as she realized her mistake.

“August–”

“Two bullets in his palms. Ten broken fingers. And, a bullet in his mouth for talking too fucking much.” I shrugged.

“You’re insane,” she huffed.

“That’s what I’ve been trying to get through to you. That’s why I’ve been trying to stay away from you. But, your presence is provoking, so here we are.”

Tiana closed her eyes, allowing my words to sink in. I wasn’t sure how my honesty would affect her, but it was the only way I knew how to be. It was my gift. It was my curse.

Do you like insane, Tiana? I hope it’s okay with you.

I’d imagined my lips on hers. Her hands roaming my body. Our bodies leading each other into her suite. Sex. Passionate sex. Explosive sex. I’m sorry sex. Forgive me sex. I’ve learned my lesson sex. I won’t do that again sex. I miss you sex.

But, instead, her fingers wrapped around my hand and pulled it away from her neck.

She stormed in the other direction. Her ass cheeks beckoned for me to follow behind her, but I didn’t.

I stood my ground, knowing she needed a second to get herself together.

And, I needed a second to get my shit together.

Otherwise, I’d lose Tiana before I truly had her,

Ima marry her sassy ass. I hope she and that little attitude know it .