Page 16 of Aug

THIRTEEN

The clouds were roaring. The storm was on its way in. It felt like it had been pouring since the day I got the call from back home. My tears hadn’t stopped, and neither had the rain.

Still, in the midst of the threat, I stood outside of Huff Theater with my heart on my sleeve and red roses in my hand.

The entire crew of dancers came pouring out.

Rome was the first person I spotted, naturally.

I’d worked for her well over a year now, and my eyes automatically identified her in a crowd of any size.

Beside her was Tiana. The smile she sported faded at the sight of me. A pain shot through my chest.

That hurt . I admitted, lifting my body from the hood of the car.

Rome strutted past me as Tiana stopped in her tracks upon reaching me.

“You didn’t sleep?” She asked, concern etched on her forehead.

I shook my head.

“Can we talk?”

Sighing, she lifted her head and then let it fall.

“Yes.”

“But–”

“You have to promise me you’ll sleep tonight.”

“I promise I will sleep tonight, Ti.”

I traded the flowers in my hand for the bag in hers. I helped her into the SUV and placed her bag in the back. The small victory lifted such a heavy load off me. I wasn’t mad at Tiana for setting boundaries and making herself clear when it came to me.

Because, honestly, if she was to let me slide, then I’d just keep fucking sliding. That’s not what I wanted. A challenge was what I needed, and that’s what her little ass was giving me. I respected it, nonetheless.

I settled in, but couldn’t find the strength to exit the parking lot. I turned to Tiana, taking her hand into mine. The ability to touch her, to feel her, after six weeks moved mountains in my universe. Relief liberated me in so many aspects. Mentally. Physically. Emotionally. Spiritually.

I brought her hand to my cheek and rested my face against it. My nostrils flared. Tears threatened to spill. My life had been flipped upside down. I knew that the hand I was holding had the power to flip it right-side up. I just had to do right by her. There wasn’t another option.

“I’m sorry, Tiana. I shut the world out when I’m going through it.”

“I’m not the world, August.”

“I know that now. Not because you told me, but because I feel it. I felt it. As painful as it is to hear you say the things you say or see you so upset with me, I admire your bravery. The way you value yourself. The fact that you know what you deserve and you won’t settle for anything else, no matter the circumstances.

Keep doing that, Ti. Stay on my fucking neck. I need a reminder sometimes.”

“You need some rest.”

“I need you.”

She pushed out a heavy breath.

“You’re making this hard.”

“I’m supposed to. It’s only going to get harder and harder, because I’m not letting you walk. I can’t let you walk. I’ve got what you need, Tiana. I know I do. And, you’re going to let me show you or I’m going to send you to every nigga’s funeral that tries to block your view.”

“August–”

“I’m that fucking for real, Tiana. I’ll lay a hundred niggas do–”

“That won’t be necessary.”

“Can we start over? Can we begin again?”

“No, August, we can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’d rather pick up where we left off.”

My smile nearly split my face in half. I sat up in my seat, taking a look at Tiana. I needed to know she was for real and this wasn’t a fucking drill.

“Ti– you for real?”

“Yes. Now, stop asking me before I change my mind.”

“Can I come over?”

“Come over?”

“I just wanna be around you, Ti. I miss you bad.”

“Fine. But, you’re going to bed when you get there.”

“Yes, ma’am. Whatever you say.”

I stood from the dining table with August’s plate in my hand.

He hadn’t left a crumb on the glass. The fried cabbage, baked chicken, and corn were history the second I set them in front of him.

Proudly, I watched as he cleared his plate and stalked the kitchen with his eyes, wondering if he should get more.

Happily, I made him a smaller helping. He demolished it as I finished my carefully proportioned servings. I put our plates in the sink and used the sprayer to wash off the remnants of supper.

Sade played in the background, mellowing us both out. It was the perfect end to an emotionally draining day. August was up on his feet, wiping down the table as I cleaned the dishes we’d dirtied.

I watched as he carefully sprayed it down and then grabbed paper towels. He nearly took the entire roll with him for the thirty-eight-inch surface. I didn’t bother telling him to limit his usage. I let him have his way.

Once he finished, he tossed the towels in the trash and removed it from the bin. He walked it through the living room, making sure it wasn’t dripping along the way. He set it outside my door for the valet and returned to the kitchen.

His arms snaked around my body. His head rested between my chin and shoulder. He inhaled, savoring my scent. I leaned into him, happy to have him in my space.

My heart shattered hearing of his loss. I wished I could bear some of the weight of his pain. But it was his to carry. However, I would do all I could to ease his road to recovery. I wasn’t sure if one ever recovered from a parent’s death, but I’d put my best foot forward in his attempt.

“I love you,” August whispered.

“I love you more.”

Just like that, we remained until the dishes were clean. I took August by the hand and led him to the shower. On the way over, I gathered two bath towels and two towels for drying.

“Don’t–”

I swatted his hands away, demanding he rest them near his sides. Slowly, I removed his shirt. Then his pants. His briefs. His socks. I began the shower and undressed as the water warmed.

The steam welcomed us both inside the glass doors. I removed a towel from the hook and placed it underneath the stream of water. Once it was drenched, I poured the fall-scented body wash in the center and lathered it until suds began spilling out of my palm.

I started behind August’s ears. Then, I cleaned his neck.

His shoulders. His chest. His arms. His hands.

His fingers. His sides. His stomach. His rigidness.

His sack. His legs. His feet. His toes. I turned his body around, starting with his back.

I didn’t make it past the upper half before his eyes were on me again.

“Thank you.”

“Let me be here for you.”

“I will, Ti.”

“I want to be here.”

“I need you here.”

“Don’t shut me out again.”

He shook his head.

“I won’t. This shit is just hard, baby. I can’t front.”

“I know.”

“It hurts.”

“I know.”

“I’ve taken time off from work.”

“August–”

“Not because I needed to. But, because I want to make up for the time we’ve lost. Right my wrongs. Hug you when I want to. Kiss you when I want to. Lay in your bed every night so that you know for sure that I will never leave you lonely again.”

“Thank you.”

“I missed you.”

“I missed you, too. So much that it hurt.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I haven’t been the same since you left.”

“Let me make it up to you.”

I nodded, “Okay. Just no more broken promises.”

“No more.”

“Good, now turn around.”

“Ti, Ion need you washing my ass until I can’t wash it for myself. I got it, baby.”

Chuckling, I handed him the towel.

“Childish. I’d let you wipe mine.”

“I eat that motherfucker, so I’m sure you would.”

“You have a point there.”

I soaped up another towel and began cleansing my body. Together, we stood underneath the showerhead and allowed the water to wash away the suds.

My hands connected behind August’s head. My body swayed slowly to Sade. Everything about the moment felt justified. Right. True. Real.

“I’ma do better, Ti.”

August’s words touched me in places that had never been discovered. New feelings sprouted as he continued.

“I’ma figure this shit out. Figure you out. Figure us out. No excuses. No running. No hiding. Putting all my shit out on the line. Battered. Bruised. Unsure. Lost. Confused. I’m here. I’m yours. And, I’m not trying to go nowhere.”

“Just be here. Just keep trying. I’m not blind. I see you. I see what you're capable of. I see what we can be. I can’t get us there alone. I need your help.”

“You have it.”

I exited the shower with August hot on my trail.

I wrapped the towel around his body before securing the second one around mine.

His protests were in vain. He was the priority tonight.

I had an entire lifetime to be the priority.

I’d make sure of it. For now, August needed everything I had to offer him.

We entered the bedroom, both appreciative of the small heater I turned on as we headed for the bathroom. While the rest of my home felt like the inside of a fridge, we were in the furnace.

I shut off the heat, knowing we’d regret it in a few minutes. The vanity was my next stop. I slathered lotion on my limbs and began sliding my hands up and down my arms. I stood to do the same for my legs. My towel gave out, pooling around my ankles.

“Ti.”

I turned to find August standing in front of me.

His hand around my neck.

His lips on mine.

His fingers pressed against my clit .

His tool touching my leg .

“August,” I moaned.

My body collapsed. My knees met the floor. My mouth widened, and I took him into my mouth. I’d been starving for his dark skin on my tongue.

“Shit, baby.”

August rested a hand on the back of my head. Slowly, he guided himself into my mouth.

Over.

And over.

And over.

And over.

And over .

“Urghhhhh.”

Saliva pooled in my mouth as I tried accommodating his length. I failed.

“That’s it, Ti.”

Over.

And over.

And over.

And over.

And over .

“Urghhhhh.”

“Spit up on that dick, den, Ti.”

Over.

And over.

And over.

And over.

And over .

“Urghhhhh.”

“Fuck! Just like that, baby.”

In.

Out.

In.

Out.

August made love to my mouth. Saliva ran down my chin, chest, between my breasts, and onto the floor beneath me.

Tears cascade down my cheeks. Still, I wanted more of him. I needed more of him.

In.

Out.

In.

Out.

“Shit, you gone make this motherfucker nut.”

His strokes intensified. His grip on my hair tightened. My throat suffered a great tragedy as he grinded against the very back of it.

Over.

And over.

And over.

And over.

And over .

“Urghhhhh.”

The contents of my meal threatened to spill from my mouth.

“Au—- Uhhhh.”

Over.

And over.

And over.

He slowed to a creep.

“FUCK.”

Warm, thick semen crept down my throat. I closed my eyes, savoring the taste.

“Fuck, baby.”

August pulled me from my knees. I swallowed what was left of him before leading him to the bed. I pressed his body into the mattress. Wordlessly, I climbed up top.

My lips rested on his. I stuck my tongue down his throat, hoping to taste the sweet corn on his flesh.

“Get him back up,” I demanded.

“He never went down, baby. He’s yours for the taking.”

I didn’t have to hear it again. His words were music to my ears. I placed both feet flat on the bed and grabbed a hold of his tool. True to his word, his dick was hard as a rock. I rubbed it against my slit, lubricating it well before halting it near my entry point.

With his elbows pressed into the bed, August observed. His mouth slackened. His forehead crinkled. And, when I slid down onto him, his eyes closed. Those broad shoulders curled inward.

“Tiana,” he moaned.

“Open your eyes.”

I slid up.

Then down.

Then up.

Then down.

My slime coated him completely.

“Open your eyes.”

“O– okay.”

Then down.

Then up.

Then down.

I grabbed both sides of his face and pulled it closer.

“Tell me you love me.”

“I love you.”

“Tell me you’ll never leave me lonely.”

He shook his head.

“I’ll nev– never leave you lonely.”

Overcome with emotions, I pushed his body flat on the bed and swallowed back my tears. I planted my hands on his chest and stabilized my core, preparing to ride August into September, October, November, and December.